Text
January 13, 2025
Arcane... I'm going to miss you. Ekko x Powder forever
0 notes
Text
September 20, 2024
Spilled Milk | February 13, 2023 | Three Short Essay Assignment
As I listen to “Lovely” by Billie Eilish while sipping fine wine, I realize the past haunts me like a spirit whose soul is stuck in between worlds. A spirit trying to find its way home. I notice my mind wandering off, seeking the interpretation of ‘what if’'?
What if I hadn’t abandoned all the people I love? What if I gave the windy city a chance?
What if I wrote my story with a different meaning?
Empty acknowledgements erupt over my guilty conscience.
I allow the pain to suffocate me. False emotions, the voices in my head encourage me to peek into that one chapter, only the chapter that didn’t want me. The chapter that didn’t need me anymore. Strange secrets.
I feel my throat start to choke up as what seems to be a million scenarios play out in my head. The sweet taste of temptation overpowers the truth, my truth. My unknowing conscience pushes me to fight, while I can fight.
I force myself to stop dwelling over spilled milk.
I remind myself to look the other way, sometimes things are better left unsaid, no closure in sight. Sometimes it's best to throw away the key and walk away. Be at peace with the things we can’t change, right?. I remind myself to resist cultivation and do better in forgotten places with full sun and freedom.
The sight is almost beautiful…but there I go again, bursting my own bubble. I watch the past empire I built with ambition, curiosity, and the unknown future burn to the ground. Nothing left in sight but the smoky ash that blinds my crown and the broken tears that drip down my cheeks. Not hard enough.
Not enough to break my undying soul. I drift away in silence. Sometimes it’s too late to make amends. The journey back home will be a beautiful yet dreadful one, but at least I can breathe again. 
Side note: This is one of the most painful pieces I’ve written, purely based off of vulnerable but dramatic emotions of a story untold. Written to find my own experience using certain phrases found in a short essay written by author, Karen Anderson.
0 notes
Text
August 27, 2024
"I feel like I hit rock bottom, and another trap door opened, and I plunged further into despair"
God only gives us as much suffering as we can endure.
"I mean, pile us on the shit to see if we'll break? Why?"
To test our faith and to make us appreciate the good that we do have
"Well, forgive me for saying so, reverend, but God is a sick fuck"
0 notes
Text
April 22, 2024
Happy 23rd birthday, Savvy Girl
Smoking together for the first time with your mom is the highlight of the night 🌙
0 notes
Text
April 17, 2024
We just finished watching 13 Going on 30 and didn't realize that it's Jennifer Garner's birthday. Now, it has to become an annual tradition to watch her movies to celebrate her 🥰
Side note, I've had my Tumblr page for 3 years and 2 months.
0 notes
Text
April 16, 2024
Thank you for seeing City Morgue for the second time with me. Bombs in the Mail Tour • San Antonio, TX • Aztec Theater • 04/18/2024


0 notes
Text
April 15, 2024
4:35 AM, exhausted yet wide awake. Holy shit, my eyes
The way time flies...
Your days away from turning 23 years old. I remember when we were 17 and 18 years old. Wow...
As we age, we grow, and early in our 20s, we've been through obstacles and stages.
- Honeymoon phase, getting to know each other as more them distant friends. Pure perfection
- Beginning of life stage. Barley 19 and in our own apartment. Thriving to be consistently in a peaceful place. Walking on eggshells
- Reconcile stage. Everything seemed impossible. We were unhappy but somewhat happy at the same time. At least, that's how I felt. Desperately army crawling to the next 'level'.
- Growth stage. The future is near. We both started college. I finally felt like I had a purpose. Finally, I saw light at the end of the tunnel, not only financially and career wise, but within our relationship. I had a hobby, the drive I lost a long time ago. Marriage; 10.02.2022 • Las Vegas, NV
- 2023 stage, 2 year mark. It was still at a bumpy intersection, but closer to the vision. Steady jobs, consistent academic schedules. Started to meet each other's needs; it's not perfect, but it's a start.
- 2024 stage, present time; 3 year mark. We got the house, we have a backyard, peace. We are consistently trying to plan for our future, ways for a smooth transition. The love is real.
Like I said, it's not perfect, and it's bumpy, but we're at the point where we know what we need to do to. Thank you for trying even during times when it seemed impossible. The ship has finally sailed.
Happy almost birthday, my angel. Over and out
0 notes
Text
March 27, 2024
My ‘first love’ wasn’t really my first love. I say this because I never felt it to be real, hell I don’t remember majority of it. I think my teenage soul craved chaos, but it was never ‘true love’. - I say that confidently.
Crave(d) just incase she doesn’t see the past tense in the word.
When you feel true love, it’s an intensely feeling, you just know it. I mean it doesn’t go away, it’s the feeling that keeps you up at night wondering if they’ll stay, feel the same way. The type of love that gives you a sense of purpose and another look into life. It almost feels like another shot at life, the chance the be a better version of myself while we follow each other into unknown territory. Experiencing intimacy that’s beyond anything else. Recognizing the soul within each other for the first time cannot be compared to.
Sex. Vulnerability. Love. Recognition. Mirror. Consistency. Nurture. Nature. Balance. Inspiration. Soul Ties. Us
Love is complicated, I never understood that until I met you, the true you. Beautiful you.
Our love feels like a fine tightrope, and we’re walking on it, keeping it balanced, just enough for us to recognize each other. Like galaxies that collided and remained.
Becoming one. A single heart beat, shared by two. My truest love, you.
I love you. I love you. I Am In love With You.
0 notes
Text
March 24, 2024
Something I never realized is that every mistake I made, you made is simply the transformation of our lives trying to guide it’s way as individuals and as partners into reality.
As I’ve processed this, I see that when anger arrives, it’s anger towards mistakes that are destined to happen as we blossom into our own individual selves, adults. It’s human nature.
Growth 🌱 3 years later and I’m trying to figure you out, us out.
Also- I’m trying to figure out how we got to this place. The place between reality and delusion. Will I ever comprehend? I don’t know. I never meant for it to become like this, but a wise one once told me that a relationship is like a heartbeat. A heartbeat that needs nurture. I never thought about it like that.
Love. Love. Love.
It’s been 231 days since I’ve come on here and it feels good to be back.
0 notes
Text
August 28, 2023
Las Vegas, NV
October 1st, 2022
Happily Ever After 💍🤵🏼👰🏻♀️ Thank you for making our first year of marriage beautiful

0 notes
Text
July 9, 2023
I choose you to fill my void, yeah 🥀
1 note
·
View note
Text
May 12th, 2023
Twilight marathons with you are amazing 🖤
Also, watching The Mask with you in honor of my grandma is a blessing. Thank you, my love ⛈️
Grandma, I miss and love you lots. My soulmate and best friend, I'll never feel whole without you. Candy D. Graves, the sweetest woman in the goddamn world 🌎💛
2 years ago, I created this blog for fun, but it has become something I cherish deeply.
0 notes
Text
March 24, 2023
Ramadan 2023' 🤲🏻 Day 2
Thank you to my beautiful wife for taking the time and fasting with me. Although you do not practice Islam, it means the world to me that you are participating alongside me. I love you so much. Islam is very important to me, and although I am not perfect, I'll always participate in Ramadan, and I wish to always have you by my side. Alhamdulillah
0 notes
Text
February 8th, 2023
Blind Love, Separate Ways
A short story
I am standing across the room from my wife when I realize I have gone blank within love. Emotionless as if I were standing in the face of life or death. Flight mode. I can hear her voice break, tears flowing from her beautiful eyes.
I look into blind love, trying to gather my thoughts.
I quickly realize my mind is elsewhere, the empty emotion sores over my head as if I was standing in the rain rethinking life.
I can feel myself almost start to panic, but that overtaking panic feels like a lion trapped within a cage desperately waiting to be released. A moth that is trapped within a glass jar fluttering, attempting to release itself.
I can hear myself speaking, but my conscience is louder than my heart. Can she hear me? I scream the words, force them out but nothing.
The heavy and broken silence feels like venom slowly entering my veins, poisoning me within seconds.
She resuscitates me as I am awoken from this unknown trance, and I begin to feel ashamed.
How could I witness my wife in such pain and distraught and go numb at the wrong time? I can see the face of a woman who has been overtaken with disappointment, a woman whose love is slowly dying out.
I look at her with such sympathy as she walks away, and without notice I can hear her speed off into the night with her phone on do not disturb. Sometimes it’s too late to make amends.
“I love you too much to walk away” lingers in my head at the speed the Moon circles the Earth. A little too slow for me. I continuously question myself as I pop a Xanax with the hopes of mending my broken soul.
I needed her to stay, but sometimes the secret of staying is leaving for a little while. I never quite understood that, to me walking away means giving up, moving on. I was undeniably wrong.
Are we going our separate ways? I can only make out what I know. Not hard enough.
I’ve told myself this a million times, but only time will tell.
0 notes