bindingrods

[bindingrods]

PROMPTS FOR PEOPLE WHO AREN'T USED TO KINDNESS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

what are you doing?

i can handle that myself, you know.

you didn't have to go out of your way to take care of me.

i'm not used to this. this caring thing.

thank you. don't ever do that again.

i thought you hated me, to be honest.

i didn't ask you to love me!

no one's ever actually just... sat down and listened to me.

i didn't think people like you existed.

is this normal for you? going out of your way like this?

i told you i had it handled. you didn't have to bother.

i... should probably thank you for that.

i don't know what to say. this has never happened before.

wait, that's mine. you fixed it?

you did all of this... for me?

that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

i'm kinda at a loss for words.

i wasn't expecting this from you.

you did all this for me?

i had it under control.

when did this happen?

how long were you planning this?

i'm not sure what to say. i'm not used to this.

i owe you one.

that was... very kind of you. thank you.

i'm just not used to people going out of their way to help me.

usually people just look the other way, but you actually care.

this is weird. is this what caring about someone feels like?

i could have handled it.

this must have taken you forever to arrange. and you did it all for me?

it would be easier in the long run if we went our separate ways.

i hate being in other peoples' debts.

i didn't want this to happen.

people around me don't last very long.

i feel like i'm screaming and screaming and no one hears me.

i'm in your debt.

how did you find that? i lost that ages ago.

you actually... listened to me?

no one's ever paid attention.

no one's ever put that much time in effort into something for me.

when did i say that?

i didn't ask you to care about me!

i'm easily missed. people don't pay attention to me.

i'm invisible most of the time.

it's easier for people to look the other way.

do you do this often? help people?

i'm surprised you're still here.

if you're expecting something in return, forget about it.

you came back?

why do you care about me so much?

i'm a lost cause. you should just forget about me.

what's the use? there's no point.

i don't even celebrate my birthday. no one cares.

you can't just make someone care about you.

i thought you left.

what is it about me that has you so worked up?

you're making a big deal out of nothing.

thanks for patching me up.

you... brought this here for me?

but i didn't ask for this! i didn't ask for any of this!

stop smiling at me like that.

[bindingrods]

SURPRISING  ENOUGH  THAT  SHE  HAS  NOT  BEEN  SHOO'D  AWAY  LIKE  A  FLY,  even  further  that  lightning  has  agreed  to  hear  her  out.  as  she  ponders  and  hums,�� nostalgia  finds  vanille  in  ways  that  have  her  chest  clenching  tight  around  memory.  she  thinks  that  even  then  fang  was  just  trying  to  protect  her  because  sometimes,  when  she  thinks  of  the  stories,  they  sound  far  too  outlandish  to  be  true.  sometimes  it  was  what  she  needed,  something  fantastic  to  hold  on  to  when  reality  was  crushing  &  desolate.  and  that's  just  it,  isn't  it?  lightning  shares  a  tidbit  of  something  vanille  cannot  understand  entirely  —  they  didn't  have  a  tv,  she  doesn't  think.  given  her  days  on  coccoon  though  she  thinks  she  has  a  vague  idea  of  what  lightning  might  be  referrering  to,  and  with  a  mostly  confident,  ❝  i  see.  ❞  that's  that.  it's  clear  enough  that  she  doesn't.  maybe  somewhere  had  televisions,  something  had  to  lure  pulsians  skywards,  but  the  orphanage,  and  none  of  oerba  did.  maybe  that  was  just  because  they  didn't  want  little  lost  orphans  led  astray  by  anyone  else.

(  ...  )  it's  possible,  but  it's  too  cruel,  taints  those  old  memories  in  ways  that  vanille  does  not  want  to  allow.  so  she  chooses  to  focus  on  what  she  knows  was  good  and  true  and  never  harsh  without  care  behind  it:  fang,  her  stories,  vanille  listening  as  intently  as  lightning  seems  to  be.  she  starts  up  quietly,  ❝  okay,  well  ...  ❞  promised  she'd  make  it  good,  didn't  she?  gotta  pick  one  that  she  remembers  really  knocking  her  out,  something  that  made  the  comfort  of  their  bed  seem  less  scary  than  what  was  really  out  there,  ❝  fang  told  me  once  about  the  bunyip.  ❞  how  much  does  she  offer  up,  though?  she  leaves  her  back  vulnerable  positioned  the  way  they  are,  A  SYMBOL  OF  TRUST  OR  PERHAPS  A  WILLINGLY  GIVEN  OPENING,  but  still  she  struggles  to  oust  her  heart.  lightning  shared  with  her.  just  a  bit.  so  maybe  ...  ❝  i  think  she  caught  me  walking  the  shores  one  too  many  times  and  just  got  sick  of  hunting  me  down  in  the  end  and  so  that's  why  she  chose  it.  ❞

how  did  the  story  go  again?  she  makes  a  show  of  thinking  about  it,  but  really  she's  just  stalling;  she  remembers  the  way  fear  had  gripped  her,  tears  pricked  the  corners  of  her  eyes,  all  at  the  idea  that  she  had  made  fang  worry.  there  are  no  tears  when  the  story  is  told  this  time,  ❝  she  said  that  it  lurks  in  bodies  of  waters,  swamps  and  the  sort,  lakes  like  oerba's,  and  that  the  howls  at  night  weren't  Cie'th,  but  the  bunyip;  that  those  howls  which  carried  and  carried  were  it  emerging  to  look  for  it's  next  meal.  ❞  there's  a  shake  of  her  head  as  she  reminences.  isn't  that  silly?  it  was  always  their  friends,  aged  and  given  up  to  Pulse  and  lost  to  it.  lightning  doesn't  need  to  know  that.  ❝  it  had  a  taste  for  women  and  children.  ❞  the  way  she  speaks  it  gives  the  age  of  her  tale;  she  was  young  when  fang  told  it  to  her,  maybe  eleven  or  twelve?

❝  some  people  say  it  was  a  giant  black  seal,  some  say  it  was  more  like  a  starfish  ...  whatever  it  was?  it  had  teeth and tusks  but  preferred  to  hug  it's  victims  to  death  and  that  was  enough  to  keep  most  people  from  going  anywhere  near  the  water.  ❞  but  then,  she's  also  heard  of  the  fal'Cie  in  the  springs,  the  one  that  devoured  people  who  came  too  close  to  the  edge,  drawn  in  by  the  glowing  formations.  maybe  they're  one  in  the  same  ...  ?  probably  better  not  to  say.  they'll  be  passing  through  there  soon.  so  she  shrugs,  gives  herself  away  a  little  more  for  lightning's  peace  of  mind.  on  a  laugh,  ❝  so  what  did  i  do?  i  hugged  fang  the  entire  way  back  and  she  called  me  the  friendlist  bunyip  there'll  ever  be  and  as  soon  as  we  were  back  in  bed  there  i  went.  my  dreams  seemed  safer  than  wandering  about.  never  walked  down  to  the  dock  at  night  again.  ❞  finally,  she  shifts  her  weight,  turns  just  a  bit  to  check  on  lightning  with  a  tilt  of  her  head,  ❝  so?  sleepy  yet? ❞

everything's  different  here  ;  it's  nothing  like  the  lies  spread  by  the  sanctum  .  it's  open  -  it's  free  ,  unbound  by  restrictions  ,  unchained  by  militaristic  and  religious  propaganda  .  vast  ,  daunting  ,  and  laden  with  beasts  .  hell  ,  in  a  way  ,  maybe  .  though  ,  it's  a  thought  she'd  keep  to  herself  ,  lest  she  greet  fang's  lance  more  intimately  than  ever  desired  .  the  night  seems  to  be  its  own  infernal  purgatory  ,  however  ,  as  darkness  teems  around  every  corner  .  haunting  shadows  obscuring  lurking  predators  and  vague  clicks  of  wildlife  ;  a  frightening  freedom  .  it  keeps  her  awake   .   .   .   that  ,  and  the  thoughts  that  follow  her  sleeplessness  .  her  regrets  that  scour  her  brain  for  thoughts  to  latch  on  to  ,  bringing  themselves  into  whatever  situation  they  deem  fit  enough  to  feed  off  of  .  trauma  like  a  parasite  .  feels  like  that  most  days  ,  anyway  .

the  moments  she  spent  with  her  sister  play  in  her  mind  on  repeat  ,  and  she  curses  herself  silently  .  having  mended  whatever  tension  existed  between  her  and  snow  ,  the  only  relationship  yet  to  be  salvaged   .   .   .   the  one  she  cares  about  most  .  and  she's  not  sure  she'll  ever  get  the  chance  .

she  remembers  her  careful  footsteps  ,  always  a  bit  nervous  ,  sometimes  comfortable  ,  but  usually  lacking  confidence  .  lightning  probably  feigned  enough  confidence  for  both  of  them  .  any  more  ,  and  the  rooms  they  shared  would  be  overflowing  with  it  .  such  a  thought  brings  her  to  alert  when  footfalls  crescendo  behind  her  ,  and  her  head  snaps  in  vanille's  direction  .  that's  right   .   .   .   just  vanille  . 

fast  forward  through  her  introduction  ,  and  yet  again  ,  the  girl  is  sacrificing  whatever  she  has  left  ,  to  raise  the  spirits  of  whoever's  around  .  lightning  ,  in  this  case  .  it  used  to  piss  her  off  to  no  end   .   .   .   listening  to  the  girl  destroy  herself  through  some  false  pleasantry  based  solely  on  selfishness  .  it  doesn't  bother  her  much  anymore  .  they've  both  changed  a  lot  since  then  .  now  ,  she  listens  intently  ,  digesting  the  words  in  her  stories  and  ignoring  the  ways  in  which  they're  spoken  .

arms  stretch  skyward  ,  up  toward  the  moonlit  clouds  ,  and  she  leans  back  into  the  damp  grass  ,  unphased  by  the  moisture  collecting  in  the  fibers  of  her  clothes  .

❛  one  with  the  sheep  ,  huh  ?  ❜  she  gives  pause  ,  a quiet  both  contemplative  and  soft  .  ❛  sounds  nice  .  ❜  a  rare  and  barely  lived  smile  flashes  against  her  cheeks  ,  gone  as  quickly  as  it  arrived  .  one  blink  ,  and  no  one  would  ever  know  .  ❛  me  and  serah  would  turn  on  the  tv  .  we'd watch  in  silence  ,  but  it  was  comfortable  knowing  someone  else  was  there   .   .   .   it  made  those  late  nights  a  lot  less  unbearable  .  ❜  a  hushed breath  lifts  itself  from  her  lips  ,  ❛  so  ,  shoot  .  i  wanna  hear  it  . ❜

[bindingrods]

& ALL VANILLE CAN THINK IS THAT WERE SHE IN HIS SHOES? she'd likely behave the same. the only difference between her and hope is that she has more practice, and that familiar deceitful mug of hers in the mirror has given her enough sense to know he's been trudging on solely for the sake of another ... HER, really, and what has she done to deserve that at all? so she calls him on it lightly, expecting him to push, and push, and for her to have to dig her heels into the ... well, not earth. metal. either way, he surprises her with something vanille herself does not fold to until the damage is done beyond repair — honesty. it does her heart good to know that he is brave where she is not.

❝ sure! ❞ but where he is low, she is high; making a good play at it at least, chipper as her reply comes. she looks over one shoulder, then the other, humming along with gears churning in her head. for a lack of proper seating or shelter, she settles, ❝ right here will do! ❞ and she's all hands, fingers wrapped around his wrists and urging him to the ground with more force the one might expect for her stature. ❝ and i'll take another look if you want, hope — i'm no doctor, but i know a thing or two about people being silly. ❞ pushing himself for another, for fear of being left behind ... who would do that? she's not certain whether the laugh that bubbles up is at him or herself.

❛  are  you  sure  you’re  okay ?   you  still  look  a  little  woozy .  ❜

his first instinct is to deny or downplay, wave off her concerns and continue on the road to their next location. after all, the last thing hope wanted to be was anymore of a burden and slow them down. but, at the same time, @bindingrods was right. as much as he wanted to push through, it was obvious how tired he was. so there was no point in denying it anymore, and he just sighs quietly in acceptance.

❝ yeah, i kinda am. can, we uh, . . . take a break ? i promise it won't be long. ❞

there's always a downside ━ accepting

[bindingrods]

Why are you protecting me? Protecting one of our own. We can do without their brand of mercy.

FINAL FANTASY XIII (2009)

[bindingrods]

the captive saint transitioning from vanille’s theme to something entirely sinister oh yeah 🫦

[bindingrods]

(vanille vc) sorry that i doomed your sister also sorry that i'm kissing your sister also sorry that i married your sister also —

[bindingrods]

collecting the entire 13 party so that we can have a slay joint promo #loftyambitions

[bindingrods]

❝ sleep is a luxury i can’t afford right now. ❞

THE  FRESH  &  WILD  AIR  OF  GRAN  PULSE  IS  EASIER  TO  BREATHE  —  so  then  why  does  it  not  put  vanille  at  ease  enough  to  rest  through  the  night?  she  still  wakes  up  puffy-eyed,  curled  in  upon  herself,  and  still  with  the  urge  to  run.  a  voice  which  lately  has  grown  smaller  and  smaller  rings  out  in  the  back  of  her  head,  ‘plenty  of  space  to  do  it’,  and  the  one  which  has  become  larger,  emboldened  by  recent  company,  merely  says  to  take  a  walk,  return  before  fang  realizes  she's  slipped  away.  part  one  is  a  success, practiced movement  as  an  orphan  sneaking  to  the  roof,  part  two  is  …  well,  she's  never  been  entirely  lucky,  has  she? 

before  she  even  breaches  the  borders  of  makeshift  camp,  oh  faithful  guardian  catches  her  gaze,  and  vanille  is  suddenly  so  aware  of  how  she  must  look.  it  draws  a  too  loud,  ❝  oh!  ❞  and  a  slight  stagger  to  her  step.  play  it  up,  smile  tentative,  ❝  lightning,  you  startled  me!  you  should  be  resting,  silly!  ❞  again  and  again,  the  story  of  the  pot  and  the  kettle,  and  hoping  that  nobody  knows  of  it.  but  …  she's  right,  isn't  she?  A  LUXURY  SHE  CAN'T  AFFORD  —  whose  fault  is  that,  that  little  voice  asks,  sending  vanille's  nervous  hands  smoothing  at  her  bearskin  pelt  (  the  first  to  die  at  her  hands,  the  first  of  …  )  

SHE'S  SMILING  BRIGHT  AND  SUDDEN,  her  approach  on  bounding,  pep-filled  feet.  and  she  plops  herself  right  down  next  to  lightning,  ❝  alright,  then!  i've  got  just  the  thing,  ❞  pondering,  trailing  thing,  eyes  to  the  real  stars  above,  ❝  when  i  couldn't  sleep  back  then  fang  ... she used  to  tell  me  all  sorts  of  legends.  she  heard  them  from  the  priests  …❞  before.  when  they  thought  they  cared.  ❝  and  they  used  to  knock  me  right  out.  whether  or  not  i  thought  i  wanted  to  sleep,  there  i  went  —  one  with  the  sheep.  ❞  her  arms  fold  around  drawn  knees  as  she  laughs  in  reminesence,  eyes  turning  from  the  vast  empty  to  lightning  at  last,  ❝  wanna  hear  one?  promise  i'll  make  it  good.  ❞

@ruinga , sleep.

[bindingrods]

the thing about vanille is that she's uhhhhhhh. a Big fucking Liar :) but it's all because of her big stupid heart </3

[bindingrods]

An endearing young woman with a relentlessly sunny disposition. Her bright personality gives no hint of the dark resolve that lies within.

OERBA DIA VANILLE - FINAL FANTASY XIII (2009)

[bindingrods]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐭

❝ i’m fine. just... blurry. ❞

❝ how long have i been awake? ❞

❝ i’m not even tired anymore. that’s the scary part. ❞

❝ sorry, what were you saying? i spaced out. ❞

❝ do my eyes look as bad as they feel? ❞

❝ i swear i just blinked. was that a nap? ❞

❝ i think my thoughts are melting. ❞

❝ caffeine is basically my blood type at this point. ❞

❝ i can’t tell if i’m hallucinating or dreaming with my eyes open. ❞

❝ i should sleep. but if i stop, i’m afraid i won’t start again. ❞

❝ don’t let me fall asleep here. seriously. ❞

❝ i’m running on fumes and bad decisions. ❞

❝ every time i close my eyes, it feels like i’m falling. ❞

❝ i forgot what rested feels like. ❞

❝ if i sleep, i’ll miss everything. ❞

❝ i’m too tired to be mad… so congrats, i guess. ❞

❝ i can’t think straight. not with this fog in my head. ❞

❝ my body’s here, but the rest of me checked out hours ago. ❞

❝ sleep is a luxury i can’t afford right now. ❞

❝ i think i’m dreaming. wait... am i dreaming? ❞

❝ my nightmares are waiting for me. i’d rather stay awake. ❞

❝ i need to rest, but resting feels like surrender. ❞

❝ there’s no peace when i close my eyes. ❞

❝ i’m scared to sleep. i’m scared of what’s waiting in the dark. ❞

❝ i can’t stop. if i do, everything falls apart. ❞

❝ don’t ask if i’m okay—just lie with me for a little while. ❞

❝ i didn’t mean to snap. i’m just... so tired. ❞

❝ sleep doesn’t help anymore. it just delays the crash. ❞

❝ the world feels louder when you haven’t slept. ❞

❝ i’m unraveling, thread by thread. ❞

❝ every second awake feels like it’s clawing at my brain. ❞

❝ i’m afraid if i close my eyes, you’ll be gone when i wake up. ❞

❝ i’ve been running on survival mode for too long. ❞

❝ this isn’t living, this is drifting. ❞

❝ sometimes being awake hurts less than the dreams. ❞

❝ i don’t know if i’m tired or if i’m just... done. ❞

❝ my thoughts keep looping like a broken record. ❞

❝ i keep thinking maybe i’ll rest when it’s all over. ❞

❝ i can’t sleep. not when you’re still hurting. ❞

❝ i keep waiting for morning, but it never comes. ❞

❝ my body aches like grief. ❞

❝ i’m holding on. barely. ❞

❝ i’m so tired, i forgot why i started this. ❞

[bindingrods]

they were so funny for this actually.

[bindingrods]

LIGHTNING RETURNS: FINAL FANTASY XIII (2013)

[bindingrods]

fang being so focused on remembering their focus and saving vanille that she doesn’t realize vanille is horribly, terribly depressed and on a spiral until it’s too late and they’re already separated oh episode zero your vibes .

[bindingrods]

playing the ff13 remaster and having a whale of a time!!! name a more iconic duo, i’ll wait B^)

[bindingrods]

the promise that they’ll always be together being the catalyst for everything that happens to vanille and fang and them upholding that promise for centuries but then they’re eventually separated in lightning returns (by choice at that, though it’s the manipulation of the Order and the Gods that drive them apart) and vanille saying that she gets glimpses of fang happy so it’s okay that she’s without her bc all vanille has ever wanted was a path to take where fang winds up without sorrow and 🙁

[bindingrods]

writing vanille within other ff games but it’s like fine bc 13 has so much time travel and universe and dimension fuckery that i don’t have to think too hard about it 🥰