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Im pulling poetry out of my ears

trying to imagine new colors over here

trying to harness restlessness

fighting encroaching resurgence

with green on the horizon

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spring heartbreak

burnt nostalgia 

for everything you ever felt when you were little till now

for every pair of eyes that made me nervous

every pair of lips that brushed mine

looking for attention love connection

are most of my relationships born from anxiety

a people pleasing inability to say no

inability to open my heart to anything that feels true because anxiety grabs me by throat and i simply can’t say no its embarassing frankly that i dated her for a whole summer and didnt think she was funny and didnt want to lick her pussy but thought she was beautiful and wanted the best for her always 

people have always wanted me more than i have always percieved some part of me that i havent projected onto me everything my anxiety stole

spring sadness is dangerous its suicidal it leaks into every other season its the warming of poison ground water ready to travel up stems again so that we may never bloom

its the learning that as much as my anxiety told me it was me me me my fault it was just as much them them them their faults and therefore no ones faults cause were all just trying to get whats best for us and dont know the way in or out just feeling around in the dark and some of us pick up more clues than others and learn to calm our breaths enough that we can listen to the vibrations guiding us towards truth

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“Changes” By Justin Bieber: A Romp through the Bowels of Mediocrity

I woke up this morning in a particularly bad mood. I had spent the previous night indulging in food and drink and I didn’t truly feel the cost of such indulgences until I was on the shitter at 6 a.m trying to expel last night’s mistakes. Emphasis on “trying.” So while I write this review, I want you to keep in mind there is something well and truly stuck up my ass. If I sound rude, forgive me. This review is of course about Justin Bieber’s latest album, “Changes.” To make a long story short, I despise this album. It’s a weak, trap-inspired pseudo-R&B romp in the bowels of mediocrity. The production is full of generic beats, and the acoustic guitar that occasionally pops up is Ed Sheeran levels of pop-trash. As bad as the beats are, the true crimes against humanity lie in the lyrics. One look at the track list and you can tell from the Lil D*cky feature that this is going to be one of those albums. Trashy lyrical outings to levels beyond comprehension. 17 straight tracks about having sex with Hailey Baldwin is 17 more tracks than should exist. Songs like “Yummy” and “Intentions” (which has a weak feature from Quavo) display a surface level, high-school understanding of romantic relationships. Bieber thinks his wife is hot and they have a lot of sex, and therefore she is the perfect woman. The track “Take It Out On Me” sounds like a Tik-Tok about “how boys should treat girls.” As mentioned before, the Lil D*cky’s feature on “Running Over” takes the song from painfully mediocre to abhorrently bad. And on the track, “That’s What Love Is,” Bieber is able to appropriately explain how lying and manipulation is OK because he loves his wife. I hate every song on this album. They all sound the same, all about the same shit. It’s horrendous. I cannot quantify the loathing I feel for this musical miscarriage and for Justin Bieber’s stupid mustache. My heart aches for Hailey Baldwin after listening to this album. Justin Bieber has truly changed on this album. He’s gone from being a cheesy teenager to being a shamelessly straight white guy.

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going to brine myself with sugar and salt, then hotbox my car with some nice alder wood chips to smoke myself like a salmon.... see you on the other side brother....

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i feel the crackling and burning of the embers

 insta 

(C.B)(2.19.19)

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Women and Flowers: A series inspired by songs

1st: Smoking Rose: Guys My Age - Hey Violet

2nd: The Wildflower: Colors (stripped) - Halsey

3rd: Two Lips: Loving Someone - The 1975

You can buy this in prints and other stuffs here !!! :)

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Sunset colors and bunny clouds🐇☁

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Sleepover // Hayley Kiyoko