bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

I'm bi and in the closet. I've been in love with my best friend for a couple years now but never told her. Her family is super religious, and I'm 90% sure she's straight. am I doing the right thing by staying silent?

Oh, sweetheart.This must be very hard and painful for you. Here's the thing. I can't tell you if it'd be wrong or right to tell her - I don't know her, or you. I can say that you know her better than I do. Has she said or done stuff that indicates she'd find your feelings unwelcome or even disgusting? (They're not, but prejudice is a hell of a thing). At this point, I, personally probably wouldn't tell her. I'd also probably do the hard and unpleasant task of slowly disentangling myself from her life, so that I could let my poor heart get over these feelings so it could attach them to someone who'd reciprocate. Especially if coming out to her might make you unsafe in some way.Mod BPQ.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

is it normal to have had feelings for girls but without being able to identify what those feelings were? like, i know i've had some kinds of feelings, but it's not like with guys, bc there i can TELL immediately WHAT those feelings are. i know when i like a guy, but it's like i never can KNOW in what way i feel about a girl. so i can't even kNOW whether i'm bi or not, i just know i've had some feelings. it's like i push the feelings back before i can feel what they are. i never let myself feel-

- fully, yknow? what can this be? internalized homophobia? side effect of heteronormativity? idk. i just wanna KNOW WHAT I FEEL. i kind of want to be bi at this point, bc i’ve spent so much time trying to realize what i feel. like, i’ve become okay with the thought. but it’s like i HAVE TO only like guys, but i KNOW that i’ve felt something for various girls but i just can’t pinpoint it and i can’t let myself have those feelings :’( help me :’( i feel so lost

Anon, you have no idea how I feel your pain! You’re certainly not alone in this experience. Also, it’s OK to feel lost as you’re figuring yourself out - that’s how a lot of us start, it’s scary to feel lost, but now that you’re asking these questions you can start figuring it all out.

So let me say first that you can absolutely be bi if you want to be, even though you’re not sure what exactly you’re feeling towards girls yet. Getting comfortable with the idea that you can be romantically and/or sexually attracted to girls might help you name those feelings when you have them again and it looks like you’re on your way there already :)

Heteronormative society teaches girls (I mean, from your ask I assume that you’re a girl type person) that they’re only supposed to feel romantic about boys and that whatever feelings they have for other girls must be platonic friendship. Therefore, it can be very difficult to recognize that what you’re feeling towards another girl is actually romantic and/or sexual. And sometimes, even when you do recognize it, like you say, you don’t let yourself to fully feel it because society tells us that it’s wrong. But it’s not wrong, it’s OK, it’s beautiful. It takes time to get over all the stuff we internalize because of the society we live in. It can take some effort some times to sort of teach yourself that it’s OK to like girls.

One of the things that helped me embrace my attraction to girls before I could actually do something about it was imagining scenarios of, like, flirting, dating or even getting married to a woman. It helped me realize, that yes, that is what I want and how feel. Another thing that can help is reading books about girls falling in love with other girls (happy endings preferably), so you can see how these feelings can be put to words and that may also help you name them.

I hope this helps.

- Noodle

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

15 Illustrations That Capture What It’s Really Like To Be Bisexual

Bisexual people often feel a lack of community. Gays and lesbians can often be exclusive and hypocritical when it comes to bisexuality. Called the “Invisible Majority” in a report by the San Francisco Human Rights Committee, bisexuals make up the largest sect of the LGBTQ community but lack the same support. It’s time to change that!

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

I'm bisexual. I think I may have fallen in love with my best friend. We flirted all the time, and even implied that we had sex or were going to, and we had a ship name. She won't talk to me anymore. She said our friendship was stressful for her. Idk what to do. I miss her, but she hurt me and I don't want to go back to her. I'm not sure if I liked her as more than a friend or not, but now I can't explore to find out. Idk if I should tell her. Please help.

Oh, anon, this sounds so awfully, horribly painful.

The first thing is: Don’t tell her. Don’t communicate with her. She’s made her feelings on this quite clear and continuing to try to talk to her will hurt her and you. As awful as it may feel, no contact with her is the best thing for your healing process.

Second. You have a lot of feelings you need to process with this. I’m not going to sit here from my lofty married 30 year old perch and tell you you’ll get over it. but I will tell you that it might help you to work through your feelings in a journal, or in letters/emails to her that you don’t send.

I can’t tell you if you liked her more than a friend. But either way, allowing yourself to acknowledge that you are hurt, and angry and confused is vital and ok and I fully support you doing this. In fact, allow yourself to wallow in it for a certain amount of time a day. Play all the saddest/angriest breakup songs you can find. Watch films that make you cry.

Treat yourself kindly, and like you are bereaved or injured, because in a way you are.

Eventually, try to make peace with the knowledge you may never get the answers or closure you long for.

May I direct you to an advice blogger I like very much? Captain Awkward has covered a lot of these thorny, heartbreaking things very well. Certainly much better than I can. She has a huge archive of posts, and the comments are, unusually for online, often just as kind and helpful and useful.

Lastly I’m so sorry you’re so hurt. I hope one day this is a distant memory and that you’re content. It’s awful to feel this way.

- Mod BPQ.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Hi! I've been in a relationship with a guy (I'm a girl) for over 7 months and I want to tell him that I'm bi, but he's kindof homophobic. I've tried to make him more accepting, but it isn't working. I'm not worried that he will break up with me if I tell him, I'm just worried that he won't support me and it'll make things awkward. Any advice?

I’m afraid the response may not be what you want to hear.

You cannot make a person more accepting or supporting of your orientation. That sort of change has to come from within their own self.

My advice would be this, if you choose to come out to him.

- Be prepared for a response ranging from dismissal to outright viciousness

- as a result, tell him in a safe, public place

- think about what you want from this encounter and the relationship in general

- mainly this: I’m sure he has many sterling qualities or you wouldn’t have picked him. However, if he rejects and hates such an essential part of yourself how long can you continue dating him? If he never ever changes his mind, is never capable of supporting you, could you keep going? I promise that there are people out there just as amazing who won’t be homophobic to you. The One is a myth.

- If you want to continue dating him despite a lack of support, have some scripts ready. Try these.“I am not willing to debate my sexuality with you, it is a fact. It doesn’t change my feelings for you. I’m the same person as before I told you.”“If you can’t be pleasant about bi, gay, or trans people I’d rather you not talk about these issues at all.”It is not your job to make your boyfriend a better person, and if he fails to support you in the way you need it is OK TO LEAVE. It’s also ok to stay. You have absolute choice in your relationship, and in your life.

I hope everything goes well for you, anon, and stay safe. You’re amazing.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Hello! I’m an chronically ill abuse survivor and I’m struggling to pay for basic living expenses including rent, food and medical appointments. I used to get some financial assistance from a friend but he can’t provide that any more. I’m in pain a lot of the time and am extremely weak, so getting by day to day is hard enough without the extra stress of poverty. My PayPal is donationsfund1112@gmail.com Please help me out by donating or reblogging this post! Thank you. 

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

The recent portrayals of biphobia and the continued sloppy bisexual characterization on @mtvfakingit is harmful. Read the petition for specific issues with the bisexual tropes and biphobia.  Here’s what we want Faking It Writers should consult with bisexual organizations about their bisexual portrayals: Faking It has one of the best characterizations of an intersex character in media. The showrunners elicited help from GLAAD and Inter/Acts to get the story right. Some ugly things were said in the show about intersex individuals but the show turned it into a teaching moment for the audience. Faking It writer should ask GLAAD & leading bisexual organization BiNet USA to consult on their bisexual characterization. Resolve Gay & Straight Character’s Biphobia: Some ugly things were said in the show about intersex individuals but the show turned it into a teaching moment for the audience. The same needs to happen for their bisexual characters. Say The ‘B’ Word: Characters that are exclusively attracted to one gender don’t get put into “no labels” box. Only those who are on the bisexual spectrum get painted as unsure. This adds to the “bisexuals are uncertain” stereotypes that invalidate bisexuality. If Amy has attractions to both men and women, have her say the B word. Sign this petition and share it on all of your social medial platforms tagging @mtv, @mtv-fakingit, and @glaad.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Will you check out my LGBTQIA+ blog? be-proud-ofwho-youare

sure thing!

-mod BPQ

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

hey! for the anon that isn't attracted to dudes there's a term polysexual that means being attracted to more than 1 gender but not necessarily all genders :-)

Yep, there is! But since Bisexual can also cover that (attracted to two or more genders but not necessarily all) it’s up to anon what they feel more comfortable identifying as.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Who are you trying to convince?

clearly i am trying to convince the overlords of all sexuality. they watch over us and decide if we are really what we say we are. if bi people don’t meet their arbitary standards our bi cards are stripped from us and we aren’t even allowed to look at the colours blue, purple or pink ever again.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

LGBT gamer? Aren't you married to a dude though? And haven't you been with him for a while?

You do know that the ‘B’ in there stands for ‘Bi’ right

it’s literally in my FAQ.

I’m an out Bi woman in a non-monagamous marriage with an out Bi man.

what did you thnk the ‘bisexual’ in my name stood for. did you ignore all the bisexual posts where i talk about being bisexual.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

ash–grove replied to your post:Real question,not to be rude,but doesnt bi itself…

Bi and Pansexuality are cousins, and personal identification can be confusing, but for a lot of bi people it has to do with how their attraction works. if they feel attraction differently to different genders they are more likely to id as bi than pan

^^^

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Real question,not to be rude,but doesnt bi itself refer to two,so wouldnt referring to bisexuals as two or more genders incorrect?If thats how one identifies,why not just identify as pansexual?Honest question.I am pansexual,just trying to understand.

Please read what bisexuals have to say on this subject. We have discussed this exhaustively. There are many bisexual facts blogs out there that can help you with this, and in fact I think a few of them follow me. They may be able to help you in more detail. But today I am tired, stressed and ill.

Bisexual is TWO or more genders, and has been defined as such by the bisexual community for more than twenty years. We are not necessarily attracted to all, but not only just two.

The bi=2 definition is based on silly ‘dictionary’ rules. Humans make language, it is not prescriptive.

Pansexual has always been explained to me as attraction to all genders equally. This is not how my attraction works. I am mainly attracted to women and various non-binary genders, and sometimes men. Not often, though.

I’m sorry, but I really just don’t have the energy for an in-depth education session today. Could one of my lovely followers do so? Kindly? I don’t like it when my posts get angry comments.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

It’s funny how language policing makes it as far as “bi means two” but never so far as “but hetero means other genders what do you mean you’re ‘only attracted to people of the opposite gender’ don’t you know there is no opposite gender, its a spectrum!”

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Hi, I hope this doesnt come off as a rude question, but I saw your post about supporting bi women who aren't attracted to men and I was a tad bit confused by what that meant. Any chance you could explain? Sorry, I understand this might be silly

no no you’re fine! bi is the attraction to two or more genders sense there are a ton of other genders out there like agender, or genderfluid, a bi person could be attracted to one/some/all non binary genders plus women and not be attracted to men they would still be bi. likewise they could be attracted to two or more non binary genders and not attracted to men or women at all they would still be bi so that’s how it works

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Basically, no matter who your fictional bisexual ends up with, people will use it as an excuse to delegitimise their bisexuality so you have to make A BIG DEAL ABOUT THEM BEING BI (it even happens in books where characters canonically love or desire multiple genders within the narrative)

One of my main characters is a bisexual male. If he ends up in love with a girl is that erasure?

As long as the readers know he’s bisexual, it’s not erasure.

[bisexual-pirate-ladies-ac]

Kind of, but it’s such a common worry even for bisexual people. Like, no matter who you fall in love with as a bisexual, it is somehow erasing bisexuality.

I can see the worry in writing a fictional bisexual for this, tbh, because it is MORE COMMON to have a ‘they’re straight now, it was a phase’ narrative, and you don’t want to contribute to that.

One of my main characters is a bisexual male. If he ends up in love with a girl is that erasure?

As long as the readers know he’s bisexual, it’s not erasure.