blackloki

[blackloki]

hog shot down in another case of gun violence. police are currently fucking around elsewhere arresting innocent people. more at 11

[blackloki]

make a terrible comic day.... i missed it last year but not now

[blackloki]

thanks for writing for us those cute morons

LaDs Men as Moronsexuals

AN: I can't sleep so pls ignore if OOC

Zayne

You: “Oh… your ear binoculars!”

Zayne: “…My what?”

You: “Ear binoculars. For listening to people’s insides.”

Long pause. A soft, unwilling huff of laughter.

Zayne: “Stethoscope.” Already shrugging off his white coat and loosening his tie as he pulls you in.

You: “That’s what I said.”

Zayne:“…It’s really not.”

Dr. Zayne replied, voice low, eyes dark, looking very much hot and bothered for reasons that had nothing to do with medical terminology

Xavier

By the fifteenth time that morning, Xavier was starting to think your cloak had sworn a blood oath against you.

His beloved knight, sworn protector of the royal family, slayer of would-be assassins, utterly bested by a rectangle of fabric.

The court whispered about the tedium of royal ceremonies. Prince Xavier just looked forward to them, because ceremonies meant you were in the full royal uniform… which meant the cloak was back for another round.

Every time it managed to wrap around your arm, catch on your quiver, or nearly drag you off-balance, Xavier got to stride across the floor and free you from the clutches of your looming fate.

And his smile when he did it said, “Yes, I am in love with this disaster. This is my chosen warrior. May the gods never take them from me… or the cloak.”

The citizens ate it up every time. Their prince, absolutely besotted with a knight who could fell ten men in battle but lose to a cape before breakfast.

Rafayel

You: Peering at his palette, “Why do you have three different whites? Isn’t white just… white?”

Rafayel: “…Those are entirely different shades. Titanium white, zinc white, and lead white.”

You: “Okay, but if they’re all white, wouldn’t it be cheaper to just… not use paint?”

Rafayel freezes mid-brush stroke, staring at you like you’ve just stabbed him in the soul. Then, without a word, he sets the brush down and walks away.

You: “Where are you going?”

Rafayel: “To ensure you’re mine forever.”

You: “…Is that an art supply store thing?”

Rafayel: “No. A jewelry store thing.”

Sylus

From the kitchen, Sylus heard your voice carry into the hall: “You can’t ‘break’ a law. It’s not like a plate.”

A strangled snort came from Luke, followed by Keiran’s wheezy laugh.

You turned toward Sylus as he stepped into the doorway, chin lifted like you were ready to defend this hill with your life. “Right, Sylus?”

His brow furrowed like he was actually considering a rebuttal… then he just exhaled, crossed the room, and cupped your face in both hands.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he murmured, and with a flick of his evol, the twins were unceremoniously tossed out of the room.

“That’s not a yes or a no,” you pointed out.

He didn’t answer. He was too busy kissing you like your grasp of basic civics wasn’t wildly flawed.

Caleb

Caleb stood frozen. Your 'disguises' always did that to him.

Once, it was the stolen Sky Haven uniform. Complete with a name tag that read “Greg” in peeling letters. Now, it was a glaring pink wig sitting slightly crooked on your head, paired with your same jacket, same boots.

Everyone else in the room clocked you in less than two seconds. Caleb? He thought it was genius.

His heart swelled with pride as he crossed the floor, taking in every glorious detail like an art critic admiring a masterpiece. Perfect, he thought.

Wrapping you in a hug, he murmured, “No one will ever know it’s you.”

"Good, it's foolproof," you grin back, making Colonel weak in knees, half tempted to call off the entire mission just to keep your right there.

Sylus

You: “The plot thickens.”

Sylus: “…Yes.”

You: “Wait, there’s soup?”

Sylus stares, blinks once, then leans back in his chair like he’s reassessing his entire life.

Sylus: “…I should let you think that. You’re happier this way.”

You smirk, clearly pleased with yourself

Caleb

Caleb: “…Yes, meaning—”

You: “Time flies.” Reading off the code hella confused

You: “Yeah, but where does it go? Like… does it migrate?”

Caleb pauses mid-strategy briefing, staring at you like the mission just became secondary.

Caleb: “…Forget the op. We’re talking about this.”

[blackloki]

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

[blackloki]

this is such a compliment!!! I love this game 🥰☺️

@

If You Were a Fictional Character

I've seen a few moots doing this and it looked fun!

* Make this picrew of yourself

* Take this uquiz (How Fandom Would See You If You Were A Fictional Character)

...yeah that seems about right 😅🫠

Not sure who's done this already so tagging the besties @thetumblingmoron @redheadsramblings @woundedsoul12 @the-bear-and-his-sunbird @aurorabiggs @thepalehorsevictoria @kiir-do-faal-rahhe and anyone else who would like to play!

[blackloki]

paranoia

[blackloki]

lads (2 tired for coherent title sorry lol)

[blackloki]

White tumblr racism is far more insidious than like out and proud racism cause why are you using your autism as an excuse to not view black people as equal to you

[blackloki]

looking at your mutuals’ blogs is so interesting because one post something like “imso disgusting i need to die kay bye everyone im going to kill myself now” and the next post will say “OMG! MY GLITTERY PINK VIBRATOR JUST CAME IN THE MAIL! #YAY!”

[blackloki]

[blackloki]

Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

[blackloki]

One like = one smooch on his little head

One reblog = granting him access to the nuclear launch codes

[blackloki]

I'm going to say it. The (word in parentheses) meme is way better for tone indication than tone indicators

[blackloki]

tumblr only toxic for miserable ppl i be on this bitch havin a ball

[blackloki]

[blackloki]

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