bleachfreak21

[bleachfreak21]

Abridged Kirisuna makes me INSANE, actually, like—

Imagine Asuna, growing up insanely wealthy as an only child with parents who couldn't care less about her. She's alone, she's expected to be demure and proper and charming. She's expected to be quiet and smile at their guests, and that's it. She's not happy, but she does get good at it — she learns how to manipulate people into liking her, learns how to suppress herself into something small and palatable and utterly unremarkable.

Then she gets trapped in SAO, and she can be a little more open here. She can work out her violent tendencies on enemies, and people love her for it. She's helping them. She's amazing as long as she continues to show her false face to people who look to her for guidance.

So when she meets Kirito, it's like nothing Asuna has experienced before. He's not nice, and he doesn't care if she's nice, either. In fact, his goading seems to explicitly have the goal of getting her to act out.

He's loud. He's annoying. He's an asshole.

And he's hiding himself, too.

But whereas Kirito is hiding his softer side, Asuna is hiding her harsher side. She butts heads with Kirito, everything she's been told not to do growing up, and he doesn't hate her for it. He doesn't run screaming when she threatens him. He thinks she's terrifying, and that's a good thing.

And he keeps thinking it's a good thing, even as Asuna opens up bit by bit and lets herself be, well... Insane.

She's never met someone like him before. And he's never met someone like her, either. And they're both broken in such a way that their cracks compliment one another, and of course they fall in love, because what else do you do when you meet someone who actually likes all of you?

No wonder they're crazy about each other 😭 I'M crazy about them!

[bleachfreak21]

if a sexy superhero travels back in time to steal your girl you must get your own sexy superhero to travel back in time and steal you

[bleachfreak21]

Agreed

This! Someone write a fic with this, lol

[bleachfreak21]

Andrew Garfield talks to Elmo about grief and the passing of his mother

[bleachfreak21]

see the problem with reading amazing polin fic is the fic is always ALWAYS better than the show. I’m obsessed.

so here are some of my recent favs if you all wanna read them:

Ruin by Sea_Dragonfly (Penelope gets caught with a suitor and Colin comes to save her from her ruin. )

Attachment by lixabiz (A take in the season synopsis, Colin helps Penelope with finding a husband.)

Affection by lixabiz (post Season 2, Colin grovels for Penelope’s forgiveness after she never responds to his many letters.)

Making It Up As We Go Along by LazyTuesdayMorning (Penelope gets stuck in a rainstorm on the way to Aubrey Hall and Colin finds her.)

The Temptation of one Penelope Featherington... by LazyTuesdayMorning (Penelope is staying at Aubrey Hall with the Bridgertons in the off season. Passion ensues.)

edit: new ones below from original post

Thus Will Shine The Dawn by bluemountainbayou (podt season 2, Penelope is attacked in Mayfair and Colin is faced with the very real possibility that he could have lost her.)

Discovering Duty by annasometimeswrites (post season 2, Colin comes back from abroad to a sadder and angrier Penelope. Scandal ensues when Colin follows a drunk Penelope back to her room and someone sees.)

among the wildflowers by talkfast (short marriage of convenience with no mention of whistledown.)

Call Off Your Ghost by Trisky107 (Another post Season 2 fic, where Pen asks Colin to let go of her so she can move on.)

Dancing Around the Truth by WeepingFromACedarTree (A sick fic, Colin takes care of Penelope when the season ends and neither family is there for the off season.)

You Are The Only Thing In Any Room You’re Ever In by gowingowingone ( Post Season 2 fic, where Colin comes home and slowly realizes his feelings for Penelope after she stops answering his letters.)

The Rules of Propriety by romanticblossom (Synopsis of Season 3 based, Colin is faced with the fact that everyone knows what he said about Penelope at her mother’s ball, months after the fact. He resolves to help her, but honor comes in the way when he kisses her, quite unexpectedly.)

One Single Thread of Pink (Tied Me to You) by wasteddarlinglover (Penelope can see the string of fates, a gift to most feels like a curse.)

Freeing You by jentothenuh (Colin and Penelope have been married for two years, which was arranged, and Penelope asks for a Divorce.)

By Tomorrow’s Light (You Will Not See My Face) by lindsey_grissom (A fix it fic for season 3, Penelope does tell Colin she’s Whistledown at their engagement ball before running away.)

These were all fantastic, all are regency era. Please go and read and leave comments!

[bleachfreak21]

Wow, that's a lotta parallels

Pride & Prejudice & Polin Parallels

Polin + Pride & Prejudice 4/?

[bleachfreak21]

“I have loved you since the moment we met” 🥹😫

[bleachfreak21]

Personally, I headcanon him as a switch (as I do with all my favorite ships/characters), but it is undeniable that Colin Bridgerton would literally ascend if Penelope called him a "good boy".

Colin Bridgerton is born to be a sub and you cannot change my mind. Let that man have a strong minded woman take all the weight of responsibility off of him while he simultaneously gets to feel like he's being incredibly useful and of service!

[bleachfreak21]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x04 - An Affair of Honor (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Picking up where we left off, where Penelope spent her evening watching Marina dance around with Colin. Fun times, I'm sure.

Sisters

You know, I do not know how, at the minimum, Penelope's feelings weren't ever found out. She's trying to stay very calm and held in while Marina lists attributes about Colin that she's very well aware of already. He is kind and funny - that is why Penelope loves him. She does know he can dance well, she's been dancing with him, too, when she's not watching from the sidelines. And, while I have no idea - really - when Marina would have seen him with Gregory and Hyacinth, Penelope most definitely has. And she knows. She definitely knows.

As upset as she is, she's also a bit irritated. Because up until then, Colin has almost been her little secret. Sure, there have been flirtations before, but nothing ever serious. And the startling thing is now Marina sees him for the wonderful option that he is. And that stings. And is annoying at the same time.

The thing about this is that Marina is over the moon overjoyed to have found Colin. But there's a difference between Pen and Marina's feelings. I don't actually doubt that Marina is fond of Colin in this moment. That she thinks he's a pretty cool person. That he's a person she doesn't mind spending time with and maybe someday she could grow into loving him. But that isn't what matters to her in this moment. It's the fact that he's the perfect match for her situation that has excited.

And Penelope knows that, which does make it extra hard for her. Yes - there is a bit of selfishness in the fact that she is deeply in love with Colin, and she doesn't want him taken away. But she also really does care for Colin as a person, and does not want him tied to Marina under false pretenses. And thus she begins to push back.

It was important to set up Marina and Penelope as allies at first -- to show that they each found a kindred spirit in each other. Because it shows the complexity of this no-win situation. Penelope does care about Marina -- because she does care about Marina, she doesn't go to her easiest tool first -- Lady Whistledown. But it is a pivot in their relationship. And Marina doesn't seem to notice it.

Pen pushes that Colin's too young (and I think Colin is around 20 at this point?). But Marina says something really key -- that despite him being young, Colin is set on making a connection and settling down. He isn't like the rest of the guys his age who are spending their time flirting and screwing around with many girls, many of them hating the idea of marriage and being tied down. Colin is an idealistic romantic -- he wants marriage and a family and once he's got that idea in his head, he'll stick with it not matter what. Marina gets that about him.

So does Penelope, honestly, but she had always wished and hoped that maybe he'd figure it out over her. Which again, makes all of this feel like a knife to the heart.

Marina also understands his hero complex. She states outright -- did you see the way he rescued me tonight? And it'll tie in later when he admits to her -- had she come to him in the first place about the situation, he would have helped her anyway. From this point forward, Marina is going to begin to manipulate the situation into her own favor. She understands Colin well, and his own youth, naivete, and romanticism is going to be used against him.

And this is where Marina is so lost in her own fantasies of saving herself from a terrible marriage to Rutledge or some other old man or being thrown out onto the street. Her plans of having a good life are coming together and she wants Penelope to be with her on this.

Penelope feigns tiredness and climbs into bed, wanting to get away from the situation. Marina has got to know something deeper with Penelope is going on -- though how Pen's actions don't completely clue her in here, because Pen can't keep her emotions in check, is kind of funny. But Marina continues to try -- attempting to placate Pen with the idea that she and her, along with Eloise, would be sisters. It's an idea that makes the reality of Colin slipping away to her all the more real -- and all the more painful. Getting Eloise as a sister through Marina's marriage would be gut wrenching when she would be near Colin all the time and never truly be able to have him. It's a mockery of something she would like -- Eloise as a sister.

Penelope winces when she says 'imagine that' to Marina's insistence of being sisters. It's truly the worst outcome imaginable.

The minute Marina leaves, Pen straight up has a panic attack. She gets out of bed and paces around, torn between having a full on crying breakdown, while mulling it over what things she could possibly do. It's an a heart wrenching moment, for sure.

Of course, she isn't going to have that much time to process (which is key) because Eloise is throwing rocks at the window, wanting her to come down.

I have to wonder -- how many times did Pen or Eloise sneak out of their houses to go visit the other one? I feel like as children it is something they would do -- maybe meet in secret after dark. There is such a comfort and ease between the two of them, when I would think -- it'd be a bit scandalous for anyone to be meeting in the middle of the night.

Anyway... Eloise is excited that her detective work on Lady Whistledown seems to be working, and she's got new leads. Pen has humored her about the LW business up to this point, and even starts out this scene humoring her here, but while when there weren't other things weighing her down, she could take a little satisfaction of Eloise's fruitless hunt, she isn't in the mood.

As Eloise goes on about LW, Penelope grows impatient. Not helping is how Eloise describes LW -- as a woman of means, as an elderly widow who is able to do what she wants in society unincumbered. How LW has freedom and yet is able to stay invisible to society. And this pushes Pen to lash out.

Eloise is taken aback, because Eloise is the type of person to ramble on and sometimes gets so self involved she doesn't always notice what's going on with those around her. She has no clue what's going on with Pen, and was under the impression that she'd be with her on this discovery, so it's shocking -- not only that her often doormat of a friend is speaking out and cutting her off, but invalidating her interests.

Penelope throws it out that some 'silly' writer's identity isn't important. Part of it is self protection. Part of it is the fact that playing detective and playing such games does feel childish. We're reminded that Pen was pushed out into society and is being forced into that world -- a world that Eloise is not yet in nor ever desires to be. And this is really the rift that keeps coming between them.

The crux of this scene is that Pen's being forced to grow up -- forced to reconcile the reality of her life and all her dreams and fantasies with what the real world actually has in store for her. Eloise does call her out on her claims of maturity. No, Pen isn't being the most mature -- when she can't keep her emotions in check, can't keep herself from a venting tantrum or holding her back from hurling hurtful insults.

But Pen is coming to terms with adulthood.

The last bit of this argument is difficult to watch, because it's Penelope at her lowest and most scathing. Something Eloise probably doesn't see very often -- if ever.

Pen has probably held on to a lot of these deep rooted feelings for a long time. Eloise can go on and on about not wanting or needing marriage, but Penelope seeks it. For a multitude of complex reasons. Yes, a big part of it is her romantic nature -- that she loves love and love stories and marriage seems like romantic happily ever after she's always desired. But also, marriage is a form of validation -- that someone wants her. And Penelope has spent a lot of time being ignored and when she isn't, she's being ridiculed. The idea that there'd be someone to actually push against that thought, against her own inner demons of self worth, has always been a foundation of her fantasies.

The line Pen throws at Eloise about how not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton is said out of jealousy. Something she thinks Eloise takes for granted -- even though it's a thing Eloise has pushed back against, wanting to be taken more seriously than what she looks like. In a way, it's a perfect dig at Eloise, and Pen knows it. It's a line thrown out in anger and frustration of her own situation -- if she was prettier maybe she wouldn't be in this situation, maybe she would receive love, and it's not really about Eloise at all. Of course she instantly regrets it as Eloise runs off.

And I'm glad they let Pen have these moments of ugliness. It makes her character more complex, more human, more identifiable. We all lash out, we all say things we don't fully mean, we all end up hurting people we care about. Pen and Eloise always bounce back, but there are differences between them that sometimes test their friendship.

This whole sequence is a really wonderfully done part of Pen's arc.

The Duel

This might be one of my favorite Season 1 Colin moments... The show does a pretty good job of layering in some humor even when the show is going to push in heavy with the drama.

I love that Colin is helping his mother return home safely. I'm amused that Violet is kind of trashed in the first place, tbh. But Colin is the one who will make sure everyone will get home safely. And I love the teasing nature of it -- and that Violet knows her son well enough that she can call him out on it.

But, the best part of this scene is really Anthony and Benedict hiding away in the other room. They're discussing duels and honor and Benedict taking over and it's all very serious stuff. But the minute they see Colin, it's like they're all children again as Anthony and Benedict rope Colin in. Colin's line :

Good god, did someone die?

Always has me laughing. But it's also so telling of the nature of the ABC brothers. You know that this isn't the first time that Anthony and Benedict have been up to something and have pulled in Colin, most likely, against his will. Colin's had a nice evening with a girl he likes and now his brothers are being dramatic, as they always are. I love it. And I love that Colin is always the one to bring humor to the situation.

Just as an aside, I kind of like this little, cozy study area. This is Anthony's study, I believe? And it's different than the one in Season 3. How many rooms does this place have, exactly?

Anyway, Colin and Daphne don't really get screen time together -- being in two different plot lines and all, but it's a shame they didn't explore this dynamic a little more (something you can't do when you only have 8 episodes in your TV season), especially when they're close in age, and probably did a lot of their growing up together.

So, it's fascinating that Colin is attempting to be the voice of logic and reason. He so often does not care to adhere to any of society's rules -- just that night, he danced around the room with Marina in a fanciful way that was uncontained and not following the rules of dance that society has laid out, but honor and respectability are important to him.

To Colin - Simon has dishonored Daphne, and to make it right, he'll come to his senses and marry her. That is the proper thing to do. And when Daphne pushes back against that idea (because she does know better) Colin claims that they'll both do the "gentlemanly" thing and fire wide. Because that's how you're supposed to deal with these things. With logic and not emotion.

And again, I find it such a fascinating take take that Colin believes that this is how everything will play out -- that his brother and Simon will just go through the motions of this drama and not be pushed by emotion. That their honor will win out.

Of course, Daphne does know better. She understands that emotion wins over logic -- and it's something Colin will someday understand, too. But in this moment, interestingly, it's honor and logic that gets Colin to fold. Daphne mentions that Cressida did see Daphne in the garden, and if Cressida says anything, their whole family will be ruined.

And Colin can't have that.

So he helps Daphne -- as a way to save her, save his idiot brother, save Simon, and save all of them. Colin will always try to do what he thinks the right thing is -- whether it work or not, he'll always try.

The whole duel sequence is really well done - the suspense building as Daphne and Colin ride their horses to intervene. It's visually captivating and the tension is brought so high.

The drama of it all!

But I think, watching this back from a post-Season 3 perspective (and as someone who prefers Colin to Simon) there's such an interesting contrast here.

And it's been hard to put into words - I've been thinking on it for a good twenty minutes now, and not quite coming up with the best way to put it.

Honor is a key thing to this time period and this society, and Simon understands that as well as Colin does. But when it comes to matters of the heart, they deviate considerably. Simon would rather die protecting the honor of his word to his father, than to admit he has feelings for Daphne. Colin, meanwhile, would die if he was unable to express the feelings of his heart. There's more honor in being true to oneself.

Simon is the expectation of society. He is stoic and distant and guarded. He plays the roles society expects him to play. And is protective of his affections in a way that's deemed acceptable. Eventually -- Colin's bleeding heart will get stomped on and he'll try to be a Simon, only to realize that he isn't that kind of person, and never will be.

Alright then -- half way through Season 1! :)

[bleachfreak21]

I just adore this scene

I feel like we just don't speak about this kiss enough!

The hand on the wall behind her head

The desperation

The lighting

The NEED

The romance

Ugh, fuck me UP.

At the rate I've been rewatching season 3 I might push it to number 1 in the netflix ranking alone

[bleachfreak21]

It's true

Colin exemplifying the phrase "His eyes darkened."

[bleachfreak21]

Colin Bridgerton and his don't turn me on when I'm mad at you face

[bleachfreak21]

me messaging a casual acquaintance: hello, how are you?

me messaging a best friend w/zero lead-in:

[bleachfreak21]

1x01//3x08

[bleachfreak21]

#they call him Mr. Fingerton...

[bleachfreak21]

“Perhaps that was another part of your planned… entrapment.”

Colin Bridgerton could live to be eight-and-ninety, and those words would forever be the nine he was most ashamed of. He had not known a moment’s peace since uttering them, his bones heavy with grief and regret as the words circled his memory, again, and again, and again.

Worse still had been Penelope’s response — soft and unbearably genuine; watery and honest. “I did not mean to entrap you, Colin. I love you.”

I love you.

He held onto that part of the memory fiercely, mind focused on her singular mercy, the use of present tense — love, not loved — fervently hoping it would drown out the rest. That it would make him forget the feel of her fingers, warm against his own, slipping the frigid metal of her betrothal ring back into his palm; forget the way he felt his heart split in two immediately, the crisp sound of its cracking masked only by the angry clack of his boots as he stormed after her, livid and ludicrously in love, because how very dare she?

How dare she think to leave him, as though that were even a possibility for two people whose souls were so deeply intertwined?

He said as much, though admittedly, not quite as well.

“Penelope,” he whispered the warning into her hair as he caught up to her at the bottom of the staircase. His fingers curled around her elbow, just firm enough to keep her in place. Gently, he spun her to face him, and implored seriously, “you cannot leave.”

Me, was what he meant. You cannot leave me.

Even the thought of it made the air leave his lungs, so he pushed it away, and chose instead to say, “the banns have been read.”

She scoffed in a way that was so easy, he felt another shard of his heart come loose. “As though we are the first pair to ever call off a wedding. Was not Miss Edwina already at the head of the altar? If anything, we are conscientiously early in our decision.”

‘Our decision’. Of all the insults. As if Colin would ever permit such foolish thinking as this, let alone contribute to it.

He narrowed his eyes at this sudden display of hardness he did not recognize in her. “We have been intimate,” he reminded her then — determined that she understand just exactly how inevitable they were.

He had uttered the very same excuse not five minutes prior, and yet this time, instead of her earlier sweet sorrow, he was met with a startling flash of anger, the blue of her eyes thunderous.

“No one need know that if you would only stop repeating it,” she hissed, quiet and angry. “Or are you to tell me you will stupidly aid in your own entrapment,” the word fell from her tongue like arsenic, heavy and poisoned, “by announcing it over and over until we are caught?”

It was infuriating how truly clever she was.

No matter, he was clever, too. Her soul’s perfect match.

“And if you are with child?” He snapped.

She rolled her eyes at him, derisive laughter in her tone. “My courses have come and gone, Mr. Bridgerton, you need not worry.” Somehow, her words left him stricken, a sharp pang of something akin to disappointment hitting him squarely in the chest. She, however, was unmoved, her expression as fiery as the auburn of her hair. “It seems even my body has graciously decided to relieve you of your most honorable duty.”

It was scathing and deserved, and yet all Colin could say in return was what he hoped was true, “You lie.”

“I do not,” she said simply, a near murderous smile playing at her lips now. “Or maybe I do,” she shrugged, unbothered. “It is not as if you can lift my skirts in an attempt to ascertain the truth.”

It was all he could do not to gape at her, his beautiful, sweet, gently-bred betrothed — for she was his betrothed still, make no mistake — speaking in such a manner to him.

“Penelope,” he chastised harshly.

“Miss Featherington,” she corrected, tone sharp as she tipped her chin up towards him, eyes stony.

It was the final straw. Colin had never been so angry, and so desperately in love. His fingers fell from her elbow to her wrist, and he yanked it towards him much less gently than he should have, before slipping the ring back onto her finger with the kind of finality that brooked no more argument. He watched as it found its rightful place again, before announcing, irrefutably, “Mrs. Bridgerton.”

[bleachfreak21]

If I had a man with arms like that, I'd be doing the same thing. I see you, Pen.

i love arm (polin version)