bllury

[bllury]

I love Danny "Doesn't want to he noticed and tries to act normal except he has no concept of normal and is noticed anyway" Fenton, i find it hilarious, HOWEVER what if we got Danny "Doesn't want to be noticed and tries to act normal, and does act normal, but gets noticed anyway" Fenton.

Let me set the scene!

Danny just wants a quiet life. He managed to safely seal the portal, learned how to make his own poratals so he gets all the ecto he wants/needs, the GIW was completely disbanded due to lack of results, Danny graduated highschool but decided not to go to collage, Dani has been stabilized, Danny and Jazz both put their parents on information diets until ghost hunting wasn't the only thing they would talk about, Dan and Pariah were imprisoned with no chance of parole or rehabilitation in the near future(maybe in 200 years or so it could be discussed), Vlad had been blackmailed into leaving Danny alone(lest Danny release proof onto the internet for everyone to see that Vlad was a creep who stalked and put cameras all over the Fenton's house hold, if that got out Vlad Co would be boycotted within the hour,), Danny only allowed himself to be Phantom in the Ghost Zone, and Danny hadn't had ANY new powers pop up within the last two years.

Point was, Danny's life was finally straightening out, and he wanted to keep it that way. Firstly, he moved cities, getting a moderate apartment in Gotham, a city where no one asked questions or blinked twice at mild oddities, he didn't live in the richest neighborhood, nor the poorest, just a reasonably priced place that maybe needed a little work, but nothing significant. Second, Danny started a small buisness.

Danny had no collage degree, nor did he want a standard nine to five in the first place, he didn't want to fall in love as a coffee shop barista, or be a mechanic that doesn't ask questions, or something like that. He just wanted to mind his own buisness, and do his own thing.

Social media made it pretty easy to at least try to start a small buisness, so Danny gave it a shot, figuring if his endeavors did fail, then he would give in and get a normal job, maybe at a butcher shop or grocery store.

Danny made [crochet, candles, personalized jewlery, art, custom t-shirts he designed, 3D printed figures,...home made tea? Idk pick whever small buisness you think Danny would run] in his appartment, and would ship out orders once a month. Honestly, Danny didn't even need to leave his house often, twice a month for groceries/supply runs, and once a month to ship orders. He used TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube to promote his website and run advertisement.

Things surprisingly went okay for Danny. He got a good amount of orders, at the very least enough to afford his rent, utilities, and food, and even got extra revenue off the business' social media pages since, while some people couldn't afford to actually buy from him, Danny was funny, and his personality and fun way of showing off his products, not to mention the way he took customer suggestions, made many people watch and follow him.

From Danny's point of view, he was a perfectly average person, running a small buisness, and nobody should pay any attention to him.

Except that this is Gotham, and while civilians could give less of a crap about what Danny did, the bats, and birds had a different opinion. They found it weird how little Danny left his house, and how much packing supplies he bought. Sure they looked into him, and found his website/socials but an actually normal person just wasn't a thing in Gotham. All of it, from their point of view, pointed to the buisness being a front for something. What was that something? They weren't sure yet, but they were gonna find out!

Edit: If Danny's Obsession is Heroism or Helping or whatever, he posts links to charitys, and runs charity streams at least once a month and spreads awareness to different causes, and/or he donates some of his products to different charities, if his Obsession is space, he can litterally make portals from his bedroom and go to space every few weeks to stay healthy before just portaling back to his bedroom.

[bllury]

Batfam Twitter AU - Bruce’s kids meddle about his love life edition

This was deeply inspired by this panel from Detective Comics #1093 lol

Bruce’s business being aired out by his kids is a favorite of mine

[bllury]

ok so you know that tradition where parents mark your height on a wall to look at your progress over the years?? Imagine a wall in the batcave that is just covered with a rainbow of colors and tons and tons of stickers. Bruce started the tradition to get dick to eat more healthy foods, but slowly each bat vigilante has claimed a color and a spot on the wall. Dick picked the most glittery blue you could find and elephant stickers (it reminded him of zitka) Jason, not to be outdone by dick, picks a dark red that reminded him of his copy of pride and prejudice (no one mentions the large gap in his lines) Tim picks hazlenut brown which everyone thought was for his love for coffee, but its secretly because it reminds him of alfred's eyes (the first adult to show him kindness) Damian chooses gold because it reminds him of Talia's bangles (bracelets). He also has dog and cat stickers he got from dick as a gift. While the tradition itself is mostly wholesome, it also leads to many many fights over the years. Jason and Dick constantly fighting over whether 'hair height' is a thing. Tim bullying Damian about his short stature, but years later Tim is the tiniest of them all. On another wall, up in the manor, there are small black lines that were drawn by Martha and Thomas for their son. The lines stopped when Bruce turned eight.

[bllury]

Duke and Jason keep track of the batfamily's fuck ups and tally points according to the fuck up. Not for any significant reason, mind you, but because its funny and Duke LOVES rubbing it in their face.

It is VERY early in the batfams patrol. Duke is the only one at the mansion at the moment and is very much in bed. Jason calls

Duke: Jesus, you just left. What happened?

Jason: Give Tim six points!

Duke; Are these "because he's Tim" points? Because we agreed we would not do that anymore so we don't clog the chart.

Jason: He broke Damiens arm.

Duke, fully awake now: ...You're joking

Jason: In two places!

Duke is fully out of bed, and writing "Broke robins arm. Six points" under Tims name on a chart full of the batfams fuck up: Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke walking into the batcave with a nasty scowl on his face: Dick gets three points.

Jason: Did he punch you in the face or something?

Duke: I remembered he was a cop on the way down here

Jason audibly gags that echos in the cave: He's getting four.

Duke: Four sounds good, yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, reading over the chart: Hey, how come cass isn't on here?

Duke: I actually enjoy cass's company. i also can't catch her doing anything wrong, but mostly because I enjoy her company.

Jason: Alright, then why's Alfred on here with 20 points?

Duke getting literal, actual, war flashbacks from his time in the we are robin movement and all the bullshit he and his friend were made to do under Alfreds careful "Watch": Alfred's staying on the chart.

[bllury]

I love the fics where the bats don’t know that dick was renegade during his teen titans era and randomly catch him doing weird shit

Jason and dick mid heated fight they’re both pinned and dick loses both his escrima sticks Jason’s injured and all of a sudden he gets really focused grabs Jason’s guns and starts firing with deadly accuracy shooting to incapacitate rather than kill or maim

Jason: what the f u c k

dick: what?

Jason: since when are you a fucking sharp shooter???

dick: …

dick: uh it’s a long story

Jason: No fucking way don’t long story me bitch tell me when the hell you learned to aim like that

dick: incoherent mumbles

Jason: what?

dick: deathstroke the terminator

Jason: are you fucking serious?????

dick: what! You’re not the only one who’s allowed to have a rebellious teenage phase

[bllury]

*Tim walking past Jason's room*

Tim, pausing then taking a step back: What are all of you doing?

*Cass, Stephanie, Barbara and Jason look at him, Jason covered in makeup*

Barbara: Cass needed to practice with makeup for a cover-

Stephanie: She asked me to teach her how-

Cass: Needed mannequin-

Jason: And because I wasn't busy, they chose me.

Tim, nodding slowly: Okay... Why is Barbara here?

Barbara: I wanted to see Jason shift awkwardly because I think it's funny.

Tim:

Also Tim, stepping in: I want to watch this shit too-

[bllury]

Batfamily headcannons but as shit my brothers, dad and I do and have said: ___

Jason: So, when really thinking about it, out of all the league members, Wonder Woman is the best

Tim: Jay, wha-

Jason: *still talking about wonder woman while getting up and grabbing a knife in the kitchen and sitting with it for no reason*

Tim: Yeah... uhm sure *slowly backs away*

Jason: *Pauses - notices Tim backing away, the knife in his hand and the lime he had picked up in his other hand*

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: >:) *starts creepily following Tim while slowly cutting the lime*

Tim: Dick! Jason is threatening me!

___

*in the airport, in line to board the plane*

Bruce: *turns too his hoard of children and very much unplanned says* Remember, Keep it secret...

Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and any other child: Keep it safe.

(they had watched lord of the rings two days prior)

___

Tim: I can scream louder

Damian: No, I can

Tim and Damian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tim: wait, lets harmonize

Tim and Damian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *But now it's pretty*

Jason from somewhere upstairs: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

___

Dick: Jason can do a really good Pigeon impression, Jason go

Jason: what no, why would I- *proceeds to do a perfect pigeon impression*

Jason: But when I went to france they sounded different so it was more like *proceeds to do perfect pigeon impression with apparently a french accent*

Dick: See?!

Random Gala person: What the hell?

___

Damian: I have a crush.

Jason and Tim: WHAT?!

Damian: Yes, it is normal, now, do not tell Grayson

Tim: Why?

Damian: Because I'm going to taunt him for the next month that I have something big to tell him but that I shouldn't

Jason: You're mean and I love it.

Tim: I thought Dick was your favorite?

Damian: Exactly which means I must treat him as a brother should through sheer annoyance.

*later*

Dick: Dammmiiiiii it's been weeks, come on!!

Jason and Tim smirking: Honestly it's huge news Dick but he probably shouldn't say anything.

Dick: wait..... YOU GUYS KNOW??? WHAT IS IT???

Jason, Tim, and Damian: >:)

___

Enjoy me imparting my families chaos upon their's

[bllury]

Artemis: So, you are 'dating' Jason?

Danny: Yep. Have been for a while now. Nice to finally meet you!

Wes: He's told us all about you. Mostly good things, I swear.

Artemis: Hm. Good start. As his friend, I feel I am obligated to tell you that I will murder both of you if you break his heart.

Jason: Artemis, that's really not-

Danny: I'd ask you to please not. If only because if we ever do, then clearly we've been mind controlled or otherwise compromised. Just smack us hard enough to get rid of the mind control, or whatever clearly took over. So we can get back to dating Jason.

Jason:

Artemis: ...

Artemis: You can keep these ones.

Jason: Didn't realise I needed your approval, but okay.

*Wes and Danny high-fiving in the background*

[bllury]

Ok my brothers math teacher has pissed me off so bad that I’m writing an email. Do you know how seethingly mad I have to be to write an email.

[bllury]

weird little brain tweak/reframing that helped me out. i Often find that advice that seemingly helps Everyone Else doesn’t make any sense to me, in ways that are hard to describe, and it can be really frustrating. but when i find a way to explain it to myself that finally seems to break through and make it click, it feels really good

[bllury]

[Tim got de-aged on a mission so now his siblings have to babysit him while Bruce tries to contact a magic user.]

Tiny Tim: Have you seen the movie 'Jaws'

Duke: Yes

Tiny Tim: Is it too scary for me to watch?

Duke: Yes

Tiny Tim: Is it more violent than 'Parks and Rec'?

Duke, very confused: … Parks and Rec?

Tiny Tim: I mean... um...

Duke: Do you mean 'Jurassic Park'?

Tiny Tim: OH YEAH, THAT ONE!

Dick: Parks and Rex

[bllury]

When Nightwing tells Justice League members that Batman makes him laugh, obviously, everyone knows that he's joking, because that's Batman. How the hell does That make anybody laugh?

But then really weird things start to happen. Like suddenly, Batman starts making little quips that toe the line between sarcasm and puns. He begins to humor the stupid ideas that other heroes come up with purely for comedic purposes. He even admits things like "Jesus, I'm getting so old, if I hurt my back much more, spin class is going to be an issue."

And the thing is, Batman only does these things when Nightwing is around, and it literally always earns a laugh from the younger hero. Sometimes they high-five after Nightwing recovers from a fit of giggles. At this point, nobody knows that they're father and son, so this type of behavior is just really freaking people out.

[bllury]

Jason: daddy didn’t raise no bitch, and if he did it was my brother.

Dick: Bitch he barely raised us

[bllury]

DpxDc prompt:

So, let's say that right after Danny became the Ghost King, his rogues figured out that not only have they been fighting a child, but they had been fighting a motherfucking baby. A little, practically newborn, not even a century old, baby ghost. A fearling all by himself since the ghost of time is usually too busy to keep an eye on him.

And now that baby is their King(though because of baby ghost(fearling) status, everyone refers to him as the Prince).

Then things change.

Can be anything you want, reveal gone bad, GIW, college, just getting away from everything, but Danny ends up in Gotham. And his rogues follow because their precious baby prince is still young and needs ectoplasm given by other ghosts since he's still too young and can't fully process ambient ectoplasm yet when he's outside of the ghost zone.

Danny is happy, and learning, and roughhousing with all his adopted parent ghosts and they are all LOVING having a fearling to spoil and play with.

Their only complaints are the fucking clown that keeps scaring their fearling they have to chase away(some of the more powerful ghosts are plotting how to get rid of him permanently before their poor sweet fearling has a panic attack and wipes him off the face of the planet) and the overgrown young reverent that keeps flirting with him every time he lays sight on him.

[bllury]

People seem to like the idea of Damian being the more affectionate due to Talia's influence but what if he's pretty much oblivious to the fact to it and pretty much thinks it's normal to be this affectionate/down bad with someone.

So most of the batfam is just....not used to it.

Damian painting Jon's face, smiling with complete satisfaction that he was able to replicate how Jon's eyes light up like the sunshine that he is:

Tim who doesn't know whether to look disgusted or concerned: ...this is the fourth time you drew him just this month.

Damian: it's better than trying to clone him for years.

Tim:

Tim: THAT WAS ONE TIME-

---

Damian just a day after they officially got together: me and Jon are dating

Dick: that's nice bud

Damian: I've already asked the Kents, I'm gonna propose once we finish college.

Dick, who is a known womanizer and has a complicated love life (pining for his best friend): ...

---

Jason: it's been hours, why are you still stuck at that chapter?

Damian: it reminds me too much of Jon.

Jason: so what you just stared at it and imagine it was him for the pass hour?

Damian: yes.

Jason who already knows the book has a tragic ending: ...better prepare yourself then.

---

Barbara: care to explain why your feed is filled with blade smithing tutorials?

Damian: I was trying to make a promise ring for Jon.

Barbara: ....and?

Damian: and I'm trying to make my own sword.

---

Steph, texting the group chat: me and cass just saw Damian and Jon on a date

Steph: Damian is smiling like an idiot while Jon is trying to win him a stuffed toy

Steph sends a blurry picture of Jon holding a stuffed penguin plush and Damian leaning into his face: OH MY GOD DID HE JUST KISSED HIM?????????

Cass: love, this is the work gc.

---

Damian: I appreciate the help Thomas.

Duke: metropolis isn't really that far anyways, plus Bruce said you're not driving with that broken Arm. Do you have plans with Jon today?

Damian: no, I just miss him.

Duke:...

Duke, back at the manor: and that's what he said before Superboy just flew in and Picked him up from where he's standing.

Meanwhile Jon is someone who COULD actually match his freak, but he's more aware of it than Damian. Will he tell him? Eventually but not now, it'll be a story he'll tell their kids someday.

[bllury]

learning that 1. there's a thing called the 'gen z stare' 2. it pisses people off and 3. it's just underpaid service workers staring at someone until they follow a simple instruction, has been interesting.

for example, the card reader says 'remove card' the customer goes 'it says remove card, what do i do?' then some underpaid 20 year old just stares at whatever twat just asked that question. apparently that's devastating for baby boomers and gen x'ers, and they're complaining about it. retail workers should be allowed to jump the counter and kill customers

[bllury]

Jazz is the 'Oh, she's so independant all the time that she practically raised herself!' kind of former neglected child.

Danny is the 'I'm terrified to take up space as myself, so I've made up a whole other person in my head who's allowed to take up space for me' kind of former neglected child.

Wes is the 'I will just keep being weirder and more of a problem until you physically cannot ignore me anymore' kind of former neglected child.

Jason is the 'I will always loudly take up space, because I am unwilling to ever let myself be forgotten again' kind of former neglected child.