bluejaywithapeanut

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Good morning it’s time to use this platform to rant/ramble about something that’s been bothering me. I’ll try and keep this short but no promises.

Okay so like objectively I know I’m a decent human being and that others generally like me. However, since being in college it feels more hit or miss with particular groups of people. Like in my college classes I usually find one or two people who enjoy my presence and I’m generally pretty fine with that arrangement.

At the beginning of my first semester I had one really small class and what felt like the entire class didn’t like me. How did I know this? It was pretty obvious from the blatant glares and the way my peers intentionally ignored or straight up excluded me from things.At the time I just took it as “oh well I’m just too blatantly queer looking so maybe they’re just put off by me” because you know, homophobia still exists.

However, it’s come to my attention recently that yet another particular person doesn’t like me. That’s all fine within itself, however it bothers me because it is someone I intentionally put a lot of time and effort into trying to befriend.

I know that stuff happens and that friends(or just people in general) are hit or miss when it comes to liking others and stuff. However, I thought that it was just the way they acted. Like I just assumed they were naturally standoffish, cold, and defensive to everyone. Obviously I was wrong and I was recently informed that they told others that they didn’t like me multiple times and to keep it a secret from me because they “didn’t have a particular reason, they just didn’t like me”.

I understand not liking a person for no reason, I get that that happens. (Also, truly I don’t blame them nor am I mad at them for not liking me). It just feels super demeaning for me to be kept away from knowing for almost an entire year of knowing this person and trying to befriend them any chance I could.

I’ve spent a lot of my life worrying about what others think of me and stressing over every possible thought a person could have while perceiving me. To this day I still haven’t reached an actual conclusion to the reason why both this person, and some of my fellow classmates don’t like me. I try so hard to impress others (maybe that’s the problem) or maybe it’s something very obvious I do that everyone sees but me and everyone except a select group of people just ignore it and find me endearing instead.

I don’t really have a good transition to a conclusion for this post. But like objectively it’s like.. fine.. and I’ll get over it with time. It just sucks to feel like this you know?

[bluejaywithapeanut]

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Tim, undercover: I'm Alvin.

Dick, also undercover, popping up behind him: I'm Simon!

Jason, also also undercover, ominously leaning down from over their shoulders, looming and using his deepest voice: I'm Theodore.

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Getting cold feet over starting T was not on my 2025 bingo card.

Seriously I’ve been begging for T since before I even realized I was trans, like why am I so scared of change it’s so stupid.

[bluejaywithapeanut]

i just read bloom by delilah s. dawson for a local horror book club and i would just like to say um. my god??????

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Saddest thing ever is reading an academic paper about a threatened or declining species where you can tell the author is really trying to come up with ways the animal could hypothetically be useful to humans in a desperate attempt to get someone to care. Nobody gives a shit about the animals that “don’t affect” us and it seriously breaks my heart

[bluejaywithapeanut]

I miss seeing bugs on my feed :(

BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG BUG

Hope that works

[bluejaywithapeanut]

other people have already spoken about general obnoxiousness and buying into tropey bigotry of the whole "hrt wont make you look like an anime girl/boy it will make you look like your mom/dad" genre of posting but it always gets to me how astounding it is to pretend you dont grasp why people in a demographic likely to have been abused as children if they attempt to express themselves at all may be a little bit uncomfortable getting told theyre going to look like their parent.

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Magneto from X Men mentality and I’m here for it

you can always give your blorbos mobility aids btw . you can always make them disabled its always morally correct

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Tyler the Creator’s new song “Sticky” .. I keep seeing differently band instrument renditions of the song, it’s addicting coming from a retired band kid

Anywho I don’t have anyone I could really tag :)

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Something that definitely happened during Young Justice:

Kon, trying to be angsty: You just don’t understand Rob, I’m a clone, I’ll never be anything other than that!

Tim: Yours not a clone, you’re a test tube baby.

Kon: What?

Tim: You have Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, You’re biologically their kid, a clone is the exact copy of one’s DNA.

Kon: …

Kon: IM GONNA GO BALD?!

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Trap-jaw ants use their powerful mandibles to launch themselves into the air away from potential predators or intruders. This one was filmed at 3000 frames per second and then played back in slow motion. Patek lab, Duke University.

[bluejaywithapeanut]

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Tada!! SPLATOON REFRENCES AHH!!

I got silly- Uhhhh. Picrew :3

It’s giving off a bit of Web vibes for me-…. Trying a chain here?- idk. I haven’t seen the bedroom one before so kinda going for it. Do it for the fun of things ^^

Peeps -> No pressure :D

@wondering-jackalope @buried-in-the-archives @hauntedpotat @astro-hunny(There is an Omori plush :3 1 though-) @onyxinkygoober @ghostlyaxel @aroace-nut-case @atoast

[bluejaywithapeanut]

my most controversial batman opinion to date

[bluejaywithapeanut]

Little update about my life recently,

Saw a vulture on my walk to work the other day and it flew directly infront of me (it was only about a foot away from my face) and when I tell you my jaw was on. the. floor.

Dog day cicadas are back, I’ll attach a picture of one I saw while I was going to work today

Also, another work related update. I’ve been slowly introducing my new name to my co workers. I’ve been asking for people to use he/him pronouns for me for a while but the progress has been slow. Hopefully, with the name change it’ll help.

Bug :)

[bluejaywithapeanut]

So what did yall think ab this movie. Personally I think it was one of the most gut wrenching types of a wake up call you can ever hear