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Doechii photographed at the Billboard Women In Music (2025)

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"5 Essential Steps to Heal Childhood Emotional Trauma and Embrace Self-Love"

Self-Reflection Monday 

How does one summon the courage to confront the emotional traumas from childhood? Do we cloak it in invisibility and walk past it every day as if it doesn't exist? Or do we bravely bring it out, front and center, and not only heal it, but understand how it has shaped our daily decisions?  

As I delved into the myriad choices and relationships in my life, a troubling pattern emerged-a relentless need for validation. This was not just about the occasional sweet texts and phone calls, but a constant demand for grand gestures and even location sharing. 

Why is that? 

Call me crazy, but I like to think it's due to that little dark-skinned girl, who was me, feeling unloved and ugly years ago.

I was the youngest and the darkest. Trust me when I say, colorism, a form of discrimination based on skin color, is real. When you spend your life hearing, "your sister is beautiful, she has lovely skin." All the boys wanted her; I couldn't blame them; my sister is beautiful. But what did I hear?

Silence.

No words of encouragement, no validating statements. Just what I've done wrong. Who I should be (which wasn't who I am). 

Now, more than two decades later, I can clearly see how that unfulfilled need from my childhood, the relentless need for validation, has been a silent force guiding my life choices. 

Back to my original question of healing—How?

Step one: Acknowledgment. 

To heal, we must first admit that something is broken. At times, this can be easier said than done. In my case, it has been a long road of ruminating and carefully examining my life choices. One resounding fact in my journey: I take accountability for my own ongoing pain. I chose the cloak of invisibility for years. One validating situation after another-- it's like putting tape on a leaking drain without determining where the hole is. 

It's going to keep leaking. 

Step Two: Understanding. 

This journey of healing isn't meant to place blame on those who may have caused trauma. Pain is a part of life; whatever has happened in the past, it is our responsibility to understand how those events affected us and reprogram our lives away from that pain. Back to my childhood-- I know those around me didn't blatantly think "let's destroy Keekee's self-esteem," back to taking accountability for our pain-- times like these, we must learn to be our own supporter. 

Step Three: Know your Triggers 

To reprogram our minds, we must identify and understand what may cause us to backslide into old ways of thinking. For me, it is invalidating situations. When my core need for validation isn't met, I spiral into self-deprecating thoughts. This is the old program-- the one that needs to be replaced. Reprogramming our minds means consciously challenging these negative thoughts and replacing them with positive affirmations. Just because it wasn't said, doesn't mean it is not true. Do you feel beautiful? Then guess what-- you are!

Step Four: Self-Compassion

Self-love is not selfish; it's mandatory. You are your biggest supporter. Celebrate your victories, no matter the size. As I embark on this healing journey, a few of my go-to practices to reduce reliving my trauma are journaling whenever a complex emotion arises. My journal, I've proudly named the "mommy book," has not only daily emotional check-ins, but mental health check-ins with my children as well. This self-compassion is a form of self-care that we all deserve, a gentle reminder that we are worthy of our own care and love. 

A big part of my life now is prioritizing fitness and a healthy diet. It has been a long road in my weight loss journey and overall healing, but it's all a part of that leak. Exercise and a healthy diet not only contribute to physical well-being but also play a significant role in mental health. The previous go-to of having a complex emotion and eating it away just isn't conducive to this new life. I am at my best when I've exercised and focused on whole foods. 

Step Five: Build a Community

Having supportive people in your life is a must. At the beginning of my journey, I began to isolate myself, which only worsened the inner negative programming. Do not make this mistake; allow others to challenge these errors of thinking. Building a community of support is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to our shared humanity and the strength we draw from each other. 

Conclusion

This list is not exhaustive. There are many other methods for self-healing from emotional trauma. While you may choose to seek the guidance of a therapist, the key point is to take that first step toward healing.

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Source: "5 Essential Steps to Heal Childhood Emotional Trauma and Embrace Self-Love"

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every beyoncé music video (19/?) ↳ Beyoncé -Work It Out

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My Sista Jessie Woo clocking how Black people are suggesting that something is “wrong” about Nic and Olandria from Love Island…

Nothing is wrong, fake or odd… y’all simply don’t believe that a Black woman is deserving of being loved out loud. And by y’all unfortunately I have to include Black Women with internalized Misogynoir.

If you are a Black woman hating on a Black woman, who’s being loved out loud, then like my sista says .. you’re a raccoon. 🦝

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Houston’s finest

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THEE HOT GIRL COACH ON THEE HOT GIRL SUMMER TOUR NIGHT THREE · DETROIT (2024)

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Megan Thee Stallion and Atarashii Gakko!

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Megan Thee Stallion

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theestallion: We made it to JAPAN 🇯🇵

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Megan thee Stallion as Death the Kid

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queen key, megan thee stallion & dreezy

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underrated female rappers