bodhimcbodeface

[bodhimcbodeface]

I used to have a job where kids’ entire futures depended on whether I could show up and do my job well enough THAT DAY, except it was every single day, so any job I have after that feels, to me, almost comically easy. I don’t want to discount the very real labor that I and other people in my field are doing but I feel SO much lighter now.

[bodhimcbodeface]

toe beans are forbidden candy

[bodhimcbodeface]

this was a shitpost but just now my body was like “okay time to eat a fuckton of asparagus” even though I hate asparagus

if you go long enough without eating a plant then your body will choose a plant for you to eat

[bodhimcbodeface]

I don’t understand goodrx like I walk into the pharmacy and the pharmacist says “this medication will be $750” and I say “I invoke the name of GoodRX” and the pharmacist says “ahhh well in that case it will be $115”

[bodhimcbodeface]

I was a very precocious and hyperverbal toddler and asked the “where do babies come from?” extremely young so when I was almost three I randomly slammed my fork down and demanded to know how babies get into their mommies’ bellies in the first place.

fortunately they make books for teaching your insatiably curious wannabe zoologist toddler about sexual reproduction so by the time I was in preschool I was able to explain to my classmates that bugs stuck together because they were mating and that a similar process had happened between their parents to make them and that it was all a part of the biological cycle of life and death. I would explain this even to much older children who I heard asking what mating animals and insects were doing or sharing incorrect pregnancy information.

so like you can try to shelter your kids all you want but there is a nonzero chance that a hyperverbal autistic toddler will just fucking randomly walk up to them and explain that semen can fertilize an egg cell after insertion of the penis into the vagina, creating an embryo, and that ultimately they and everyone they know are subject to mortality and will inevitably die.

[bodhimcbodeface]

end my suffewing

[bodhimcbodeface]

Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher (Ceyx erithaca), family Alcedinidae, order Coraciiformes, Karnala Bird Sanctuary, Maharashtra, India

photograph by Kessy George

[bodhimcbodeface]

extremely funny to me that harley quinns real name is apparently harleen quinzel, a name that sounds less real that harley quinn. they should do that with more comic characters. batman real name batthew manning. daredevil real name darius devilson. doctor strange real name. well okay that one doesnt count.

[bodhimcbodeface]

Starting my speech at the Omelas city counsel with a child acknowledgement statement

[bodhimcbodeface]

Pyritized fossils

[bodhimcbodeface]

if you go long enough without eating a plant then your body will choose a plant for you to eat

[bodhimcbodeface]

Every poll on this blog is about fictional characters only. This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[bodhimcbodeface]

if you’ve ever donated dog man to a library the Catholic Church promotes you to supersaint. It’s a brand new category and you don’t even have to be dead. Indulgences are BACK babey they cost like $12 at barnes & noble

[bodhimcbodeface]

beanie baby dragon is crossing your dash

[bodhimcbodeface]

The best trick I’ve discovered to make myself Start The Task is to set a timer for 20 minutes, and if I still haven’t started it when the 20 minutes are up, then something needs to change. Sometimes that’s just my environment, but more often than not it’s my approach: either the thing I was going to do first turned out not to be a good starting point, or I realize I don’t have a starting point and I need to give myself one, or I realize I haven’t done a very good job of defining what it is I’m trying to do. Reassess, set a new approach, set the timer again, rinse and repeat.

[bodhimcbodeface]

that sure is uhhh. That sure is a word choice.

[bodhimcbodeface]

TIL the reason you don’t find much Lyme’s Disease in California is not because we don’t have Ticks, or Lyme Disease Vectors; but rather: because the Western Fence Lizard (if you live anywhere in California this is your regular Garden Variety Lizard) has adapted a passive immune response that makes their blood lethal to Lyme Disease Bacteria. Any Tick that feeds on one gets its gut cleansed of Lyme Disease as a side effect.

Fucking neat.