bondlocker

[bondlocker]

it shouldnt be illegal to kidnap a guy if he looks really sad and you know he would have a better life in captivity

[bondlocker]

listen. we can and should criticize James Bond as a character, concept and franchise. however! it's immensely funny how hard they tried to maintain his womanizer persona but then they gave ben whishaw glasses and an ugly cardigan and had daniel craig look at him like this for three movies

[bondlocker]

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

[bondlocker]

“PAPA, Dad can’t find my shoes!” Tilly yells. James and Kincade both look at the door where said shoes are lying, forgotten. Kincade chuckles at James’ long suffering sigh.

“Hopeless, the two of them.” James grumbles, swiping up the shoes, and stalking back towards their bedrooms. 

It’s WIP Wednesday!

Post a line or three from a current WIP, and then tag @mi6-cafe so we can find and reblog it!

OR you can reblog this post with your WIP excerpt!

All ships, fandoms, and WIPs are welcome.

[bondlocker]

a good sailor will always return to the sea

[bondlocker]

in the new james bond movie they should have all bond's tech be ai and the whole movie is just him fighting for his fucking life trying to get these stupid fucking gadgets to do the one thing they're designed to do while the henchmen close in and in the end he just uses the latest stupid gadget as a bludgeon to brain the villain in the skull and then he gets back dumps it all on q's desk and quits again

[bondlocker]

scrungly vik

[bondlocker]

squish the viktor between the couch and the jayce for maximum brain reset

[bondlocker]

As a fic writer, i need every reader to know that:

I don’t care if your comment is coherent. I know what you mean and i love you

I don’t care if you ramble. I read every word and i love you

I don’t care if you leave a comment on a fic from four years ago or leave comments/kudos on like ten of my fics in one go. This isn’t IG, pls stalk my AO3. I love you

I don’t care if you mention the same thing in your comment that four other people have already mentioned. It’s actually really useful to know what resonated with people and I love everyone who takes the time to tell me they liked a particular turn of phrase

I don’t mind if your comment is super long or just a couple of sentences, i love them all

I love you

[bondlocker]

[bondlocker]

007 Fest 2025 Master Post

Shay wasn't as active this year during Fest, she kept to herself mostly.

She had a lovely time at the Writer's Convention, until she bumped into far too many of the menaces she takes care of at the MI6 cafe. Drug into JELLYCON by Q and a few of the 00 agents, she was forced to attend a workshop that covered.... how to not ruin open air market places and how to limit collateral damages? Q paid her well to babysit/force 00 agents to attend.

Using said ill gotten agentsitting money, Shay had enough money to start the process of self publishing her series of romantic spy novels, and enjoy a nice lux spa day.

That being said, I had a fantastic time this past month, even if I didn't finish Be Still My Foolish Heart, I at least broke through some of my writer's block, and posted 3 new short fics, Monthlies, Building A Home, and My Favorite, Unfortunately. I got my June Year of the OTP Prompt fill posted, it takes place in the BSMFH universe, so if you wanna see the little Bond family enjoy their first family Pride weekend, check it out. I also started a new series! Focusing on the poly dynamic between James Bond, Q, Felix Leiter, and Della Leiter, it starts with an older work of mine, from Festive Fanwork Fiesta, The Boys Are Back, and continues with a new, ongoing multi chaptered work, Coming Home.

I also worked with Station Phoenix to complete several Bingo items, and I didn't keep track of those very well tbh, but I had so much fun helping out where needed!

[bondlocker]

Cloudward, Ho!

Episode 7: Melee Among the Magnamensa

Parodying Cloudward Ho! on a Bus, but also Gravity Falls.

Episode 6 || Episode 8

EDIT: Wanted to make a day version cause the colour palette is fun.

[bondlocker]

[bondlocker]

Station Bingo #21 with @spiritofcamelot, @eleanor-is-fine, @bondlocker, and @paradox-insanity: As a Station, design a cozy new home for Bond. Describe, draw, moodboard, or blueprint each room. The home should at least have a bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, and living room. 4 or more participants.

There is also a bonus ficlet from @bondlocker!

Q is sitting in the warmth of James’ Range Rover, watching as James prowls around what will eventually be their home.

Q is so nauseatingly excited to finally have one. A home. He thinks James might be even more excited, but James’ nervous excitement is manifesting as over involvement, and micromanaging the work crew. Q’s has manifested in over detailed plans and a very heavy binder of inspiration, blueprints, and planning. Q chews at his thumb as he rifles through his current collection of plans, their study. Q just wasn’t quite sure what color to paint the walls. He refused to live in a bland, colorless house. He wanted color and warmth, and James had agreed, being exhausted by lifeless, sterile hotel rooms and prefabricated flats. Their home was shaping up to be a wonderfully cozy study of traditional styles, with modern conveniences. Neither of them could stand cold bathroom tiles, low capacity water heaters, or aga cook ovens. Q’s had a fantastic time hoarding inspiration, and home furniture catalogs. James curls around him like a house cat as Q rambles about built ins, countertops, and paint colors. 

James seemed to be favoring an emerald green color for furnishings. Q was leaning towards a cobalt blue that reminded him of James’ eyes, but it seemed a bit too bright to fit into the rest of the home’s color schemes. Q pulls out the color wheel of paint swatches he’s been referencing, and finds a lovely teal shade in between their two colors. Q scribbles the paint code into his notes, tapping the swatch book against his temple. He looks up, half heartedly glancing around for James, when he catches his own gaze in the side mirror. The swatch of emerald green that James ‘just likes’ is a near match for his own irises. 

“Sap.” Q chuckles to himself, like he wasn’t doing the exact same. Q watches as the work crew walk away from the framing of their house, and settle around their trucks for lunch. James walks up to his door, opens it.

“Come walk through with me.” James murmurs, offering his hand, “Leave the binder here.” 

Q chuckles, but grabs his coat, takes James’ hand and heads towards the framing of their house. They stop at what will eventually be the front door. James bends down, and before Q can protest, sweeps him into his arms, and steps over the beam marking the threshold. 

“James.” Q chuckles, “Don’t hurt yourself.” 

James pulls him close, and kisses him softly. 

“I’m not your bride, you know.” Q murmurs against James’ mouth, “We’re not even engaged.”

“Let’s finish the house first, then we can worry about getting married.” 

“We could host a house warming, get married in the garden.” Q suggests, “Could be fun to not tell anyone.”

“As always, your plan is better than mine.” James sighs like he’s upset, but he squeezes Q’s hand. “Now come tell me if this will be enough closet for us both.”

“Knowing you, no, it’s never enough closet.”

[bondlocker]

Prompt Table 007: Constrained Writing - Square 3 Wedding Toast

Eve raises her glass.

“To the new husbands!”

“May you each always have the other’s back.”

Q and James look at each other, grinning.  James reaches forward to straighten Q’s tie, again. 

“May your ammo be plentiful and your takeaway hot.”

“Oi!  I’m a very good chef, you know,” James asserts.

She raises an eyebrow.  “Have we installed a Viking range in Q branch that I’m not aware of?” she asks before carrying on with the toast.  “And may you keep each other alive until retirement… at which point I’ll no longer be in charge of you.”

“In Charge? She’s having illusions of grandeur again, isn’t she, love?” James asks.

“Always so optimistic, that one.  It’s why we asked her to be our Best Mate,” Q responds, holding his glass up.  “Cheers to us, love.”

“Cheers to us.”

[bondlocker]

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