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Update on my life

i'm doing slightly better than i was a month ago. i'm reading more books, listening to more music. my anxiety has calmed down a little after seeing the mass protests and the good congress people doing everything they can to hinder the current administration. i'd be lying if i said i was fine but i'm not in the doomsday mindset i was a week after the inauguration.

i still dont have the energy or motivation to write anything. i'm making new friends though, and making an effort to leave the house. i'm trying to have fun again, i left my house today, and i made plans to go to a concert in a couple of months.

i don't know if i'll write this year. i don't know if i'll be able to listen to the same fun happy music i used to have in my playlists. but i am doing better and for now that's okay.

thankfully i have good people around me that keep me grounded.

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“I am an appetite, nothing more.”

They’re so fun to drawwwww

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i fucking love green day

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Chewing and gnawing on the irony One Piece continually shows with the main characters where they're doing objectively kind and helpful things and that's what gets them in trouble with the law. It's the selective application of criminal justice. The bias and room for corruption built into the system itself. It's delicious. It's horribly relevant. I'm obsessed.

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Quick reminder that it's always morally correct to punch nazis.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

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Art by Sebastian Robles

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New official still of Bill Skarsgård as Count Orlok in Nosferatu.

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tiktok dying for literally like 10 hours is crazy

talk about emotional manipulation

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im gonna be vulnerable and honest for a minute and traumadump so if this is not your cup of tea or you don't want to read my ramblings please feel free to scroll

these past few months have taken a horrible toll

on my mental health and my motivation. i feel so anxious and stressed that i cant do anything. since october 2024 i have been in autopilot. grieving my childhood, watching the election, opening the news to see the LA fires and the immigration raids. im afraid for the future. im afraid for my safety and my family's safety. all i do is sit in my room reading, distracting myself so i dont go absolutely insane. everyday is the same. i wake up, feed the cat, read and try to avoid looking at my phone, feed the cat, clean, go to work, go home, sleep and repeat. i constantly switch between feeling extremely numb and apathetic to stressed, anxious, and depressed all at once. im so tired of reading the news and feeling helpless. i write in my journal so i dont keep everything bottled up but what help does that do when im the only one reading it. i dont know what to do. i cant afford a therapist, i cant afford much of anything. this is so much more intense than what i felt in 2016. i had my high school teachers to confide in back then. i feel like i have nobody now. i feel so childish and at the same time i know that it's normal to feel like this and yet i cant help but judge myself. im 24, i should act like an adult. but im so scared i feel like a child.

sorry for unloading this on whoever read it. i just feel like screaming this into a void other than the journal that is sitting in my nightstand drawer might help a little.

and i cant say for a fact that it did but at least it's out there now.

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grieving a celebrity you didnt know but meant so much to you for so long is wild

i didnt think i'd be doing this so soon

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i cant believe i mourned my childhood twice

rip liam payne

im closer to being 30 than i am to being 14 in my room listening to one direction

im spiraling

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why do some of us sick fucks see this and think "hehe so cute"

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