boowritely

[boowritely]

Consigning stuff from my NYC days; transition from baby to toddler items

Ah! Its 11:20pm and I almost forgot to do this tonight. I was just surfing the net for the past hour. I made a calendar invite so hopefully I can avoid this in the future.

Thanks to the Artist’s Way, been trying out a reading fast. It’s haphazard but I try not to read in the evening, when I really want to munch on junk food and browse the internet. I have been organizing and purging in the evenings with all this newfound time. 

I am in a huuuge transition and it feels great, exciting, thrilling. G is 19mo old. 1.5 years. He is no longer a baby. I organized all his baby gear. I have clear and organized bags of newborn stuff, 6mo + stuff, breastfeeding stuff, etc. It feels sooo good. I am so relieved. Coupled with the relief that I do not need to have a second baby anytime soon. So much internal pressure I generate. So much what I “should” do. I am taking time to listen to what I want to do.

I am asking for time, for permission to have a childhood with G. I want this year to be fun, carefree, to declutter, to get rid of stuff that is mediocre, not useful, doesnt serve us. I want this year to beautify our home. To make things pretty. I want to learn to sew to use my hands to make beautiful things. 

I tidied up my breast pump and supplies. Ready to donate to another person but not sure how. There is so much waste and cost with child-raising. I wish I knew of a clearer way to efficiently get rid of stuff -- instead of on Facebook’s forums. I am not keen on having my personal address and infos on Facebook. Craigslist seems to do a better job of keeping it anonymous. I have been donating stuff to Goodwill but I suspect their mission is full of holes. I am also experimenting with consignment and re-selling online. We’ll see how that goes.

I am excited to finally start to let go of the vestiges of my NYC life. When I bought beautiful designer things only bc they were less expensive than normal (Not bc they were affordable by any means) and when I bought things with ex-R’s tastes in mind (his approvals, disapprovals, disdain, poking fun). Often those purchases ended up being uncomfortable and went unworn, or some were worn when I was at 128lb, running 5 miles a day. 

I have so many leather shoes that I want to unload. Wool pants, wool coat. I dont have to dress for anyone else ever again. I think. Is this true?? God. That is freeing on such a deep level that it has taken my about 4 years to start to accept it. All the clothes I was keeping for a “Just in case” I need to look smart, put together, professional, etc. I dont need to do that anymore. I think I will always be self-employed (if not with our current biz, then with another biz), or if not, I will be brave enough to find work that is not white-collar and not-professional. I love this. I dont have to dress for anyone but myself. No more fitted skirts. No more fitted legs (I can barely tolerate skinny jeans now). I like a loose bottom half, an A-line, a fit-and-flare. The only fitted part could be the blouse area. That is the perfect silhouette for me. I dont need to experiment too much for now...well..a part of me wants to keep it simple, comfortable and fun. And another part of me wants to play and experiment. I wear so many colors now. I used to mainly wear and buy black bc it was easier to match with other items, and bc I didnt want any attention and I didnt find much fun in playing with color. Now I do find it fun. I want to experiment with color, with shapes, with proportions. 

I am trying to accept my weight, my shape, my size. 130-135 pounds is my resting spot without much working out and without dieting. Eh. That is where i am right now.