borahae-777

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 25: I Wanted To Become Your Comfort And Move Your Heart

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 230k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

Yoongi is lying on the floor of his studio staring at the ceiling. He hasn’t been able to sit still all day, he knows Namjoon had his meeting with Bang this morning. He came right to the building when he woke up, leaving Jimin asleep in his bed. He’d felt the younger man crawl in with him in the middle of the night and tuck his face against his neck, leaving wet tear tracks against his skin. He should have told him that he was awake, but he couldn’t find the words and simply stayed still until they both drifted off.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Namjoon is back in a BigHit conference room with Bang, Dae-Hyun, and Bon-Hwa. Now that everything has come to a head, they all have a lot to discuss. The public response has been completely different than expected. The backlash has been worse than he imagined it would be, but there is a huge wave of support and love from ARMY. Comment sections are full of fights between those who have turned against the group and those who have rallied around them.

“Alright everyone, thank you for coming into the office to talk. Dae-Hyun and I met yesterday and we now know what company has come after the band. The CEO and his executives over at SM cooked up this plan to try and push us out of the way so that their artists could shine. Luckily, judging by the success of Fake Love, this new album is going to explode right in their faces. Namjoon, how are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. There’s a mix of emotions that seem to fight for purchase. I’m relieved that we have answers and that the plan was a success. I’m hurt at the response to the story and worried about how many people we may have alienated. I’m touched at the response from a lot of international ARMYs and some of the ones close to home. Bon-Hwa, are you okay?”

“More than okay, Namjoon-ah. Don’t worry about me. This whole thing has given me a sense of purpose I wasn’t expecting.”

“Glad to hear it. I suppose it’s time to release the debunking evidence, PD-nim?”

“Not quite yet, but soon. I want Dae-Hyun in their good graces for a little longer while I secure everything we need to sue Dispatch and hopefully put the executives over at SM behind bars for blackmail. Are you willing to hold out a little longer, Dae-Hyun?”

“As long as you all need me to. I’m grateful for the chance to fix my mistakes and for the help you’ve provided for my mother. She’s responding well to treatment and I’ll never be able to express how thankful I am.”

“Good. The company holds no ill will against you, you’ve more than paid your dues. Your job here is secure and you have a clean slate. Namjoon, how are the guys doing?”

“They’re mostly worried about me and having trouble keeping themselves out of the comment sections. I think they’re putting themselves in my shoes and imagining how people would react if it was them who went public.”

“Try and reassure them. We will protect Taehyung and Jungkook in every possible way. Keep working hard and keep your head down for now. I need a week or so to get everything together and then we’ll make a statement to the press and clear your name. Not everyone will believe your innocence, are you prepared for that?”

“I’d rather not think of it as innocence, sir. There’s nothing inherently guilty about the scandal. My family knows that it isn’t true, so does Bon-Hwa’s. They’re supporting each other through it. That’s all that matters.”

“Alright gentlemen. Dismissed.”

The three men stand up and bow to the CEO before exiting the room. Namjoon hugs Bon-Hwa and promises to give him a call when he has any news, sending his friend home. Dae-Hyun hangs back and awkwardly looks at Namjoon, trying to say something but failing. Namjoon gives him a warm smile and tries to reassure him.

“Dae-Hyun, if there’s something you want to talk about you can. Don’t worry, I won’t bite.”

“I guess I was wondering if you think that the guys would talk with me again. I’ve been wanting to reach out to the maknaes in particular to try and see if we can renew the bonds we were making, but I know I don’t deserve another chance. I won’t forgive myself if I don’t at least try.”

“I wouldn’t say you don’t deserve it. You made a very grave error, a bigger one than some people can forgive, but we are a more forgiving group of people than you think. You didn’t just show remorse, you worked hard and put your life on the line to make it up to us. Let me talk to everyone and I’ll give you a call. Is there anything specific you want me to say?”

“No, I trust you to present it well. Maybe just ask Jimin if he’d be comfortable reaching out individually? I owe him more apologies than anyone, but only if Yoongi-hyung is comfortable with us speaking. I respect him too much to bypass him.”

“I’ll talk to everyone tonight. Go be with your mother, she needs you right now. I hope she knows what an amazing son she has and what he has risked for her.”

Dae-Hyun’s eyes grow misty and he launches himself at Namjoon before pulling away and hurrying down the hallway with his head down. Namjoon can’t help but smile at his retreating back, he expected to feel cold towards the man, but he finds himself thinking that he still is a good person at heart. Everyone makes mistakes and he deserves a second chance. He pulls out his phone to send a group text about a family meeting and turns in the opposite direction to go to his studio. He needs to be alone to process what’s going to happen next.

********

Yoongi is lying on the floor of his studio staring at the ceiling. He hasn’t been able to sit still all day, he knows Namjoon had his meeting with Bang this morning. He came right to the building when he woke up, leaving Jimin asleep in his bed. He’d felt the younger man crawl in with him in the middle of the night and tuck his face against his neck, leaving wet tear tracks against his skin. He should have told him that he was awake, but he couldn’t find the words and simply stayed still until they both drifted off.

Since he got here this morning, he’d tried to mix songs and failed. He’d tried to nap and failed. He’d tried to read, tried to write, tried to play games. That’s how he found himself on his back on the floor, lost in his thoughts. His goal for today is to not return to any of the comment sections about Namjoon and Bon-Hwa. Once he starts reading he finds himself lost down the rabbit hole for hours. It’s not all bad, there are countless ARMYs standing up for the couple.

On the other hand, there are comments from ARMYs who claim to have been fans from the start who are now leaving them behind. The media is slandering Namjoon left and right and by extension, the rest of them. People are questioning whether the popular ships are real, whether Namjin was ever true and if Namjoon has left Jin behind. Whether Yoonmin is more than just speculation. Most of the questions are about Taekook, Yoongi has watched some of their ship videos and even he has to admit that the two are the least subtle. He worries for them, and considers telling him to back off for a while until the heat around Namjoon dies down. He has no idea how long the company is going to wait to take legal action and debunk the story.

He is about to sit up and see if he can choke down some food when he hears a soft knock on his door. His stomach drops a little, thinking it might be Jimin coming to confront him about their relationship. He feels guilty, knows what he’s doing isn’t right, but he just can’t handle that kind of emotional labor right now. He ignores the knock and it grows stronger as he hears a voice that isn’t Jimin’s calling his name through the door.

“Yoongi-hyung, I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”

He stands up and hurries to the door, feeling bad that he ignored it in the first place. His shaking hands fumble with the lock, proof that he needs to eat something before his body gives out on him. He opens the door to Jungkook looking nervous and ushers him in.

“Hey Kook-ah. Is everything okay? You look unsettled.”

“I was hoping I could talk to you about something, but now that I’m here I’m a little bit hesitant.”

“You can talk to me about anything, Jungkookie. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve done this, but our lives have been kind of crazy, hm?”

“I guess I was worried that our bond wouldn’t be as strong anymore or that you’d be upset with me for kind of leaning towards Jimin when everything went bad. Taehyung came to you and Jimin needed someone.”

“I would never hold that against you. It’s not taking sides. Jimin needed help and I’m glad you took care of him when I couldn’t. I promise I did the same for Taehyung in your absence.”

“I know, hyung. I’ve heard a lot about the connection you built with each other and it makes me happy. Thank you for helping him.”

“No need to thank me. Now what’s up? Come sit with me on the couch, don’t be nervous.”

He grabs Jungkook by the hand and can tell the maknae is shocked at the physical contact. He’s not one to be touchy, but he wants to put him at ease and could kind of use the grounding touch himself. He walks them over to the couch where they sit facing each other, Jungkook hesitantly lacing their fingers together and leaving them together. It feels nice and for once Yoongi doesn’t feel the urge to pull away.

“Hyung…please tell me what’s going on with you. We can all tell you’re not okay. You might think you’re being subtle, but you’re not.”

“W-what? Are you all sitting around talking about me?”

“No, no. It’s not like we’ve had some sort of meeting behind your back, but sometimes you’ll say something or a look will cross your face and everyone’s eyes will meet. We acknowledge it. Tae has told me that he’s worried though and he’s a little hurt that you haven’t gone to him. Jimin hasn’t talked to either of us, but we can see the life draining out of him. He’s becoming a ghost and we assume you had a big fight.”

“We didn’t have a fight.”

“That’s all you can say to me right now? You can’t rot away in this studio by yourself. You don’t have to tell everyone, but talk to someone. Talk to me.”

“Aish, Kook. I’m your hyung and you’re the maknae, I’m not supposed to lean on you.”

“Screw age ranks and honorifics. I’m your friend and brother first.”

“I don’t know how to explain. Something in me is wrong. I don’t feel anything anymore. I’m dead inside and out. I’ve gone through something similar before, before we debuted. It was before most of the group was even cast. It was just me, Joon, and Hobi. I handled it alone then and I can handle it alone now. It just takes time.”

“The difference between then and now is that now you don’t have to do it alone. We’re your family, back then all you had was strangers in a strange city. What do you mean you don’t feel anything?”

“Everything is muted. Colors aren’t as bright, the sun isn’t as warm. I’m not hungry, I’m not motivated, I can’t bring myself to be affectionate with Jimin, I don’t even feel excited about the album release.”

“I’ll be honest with you because you’ve been honest with me, that scares me a bit. If your emotions were just on hiatus for a while, I could wrap my head around that, but you’re not even able to care about your music? You’ve worked harder on the Love Yourself albums than anyone.”

“I know. I love the songs, I do. Somewhere deep down I know I’m excited to see the world respond to what we’ve created, especially The Truth Untold and Serendipity. I just can’t bring it to the surface.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a long while, staring at their joined hands and stroking the back of Yoongi’s softly. His brow is furrowed, thinking hard. Yoongi has to admit he does feel a little bit lighter having gotten some of it off his chest. He knows he can’t confide in Jungkook about the commenter and the backlash against Namjoon, he doesn’t want to turn the younger’s attention to that hatred.

“Hyung, would you consider talking to us about all of this at the family meeting tonight? You don’t have to and I won’t say a word to anyone if that’s what you want. I just think it would help you and everyone else to have it out in the open. No one will force anything on you, they just want to know what’s in your head.”

“You’re welcome to talk to Taehyung about this if you’d like to, tell him my door is open and I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings with my silence. I just need to know neither of you will go to Jimin. I know it’ll be hard, but I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”

“Alright, hyung. We won’t. What about the meeting?”

“I’ll think about it, Jungkook. I’m tired. I think the meeting is going to be about much more important things.”

********

“He wants me to do what?!”

“Hear him out, Jimin-ah. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Jimin is staring at Namjoon agape. The leader had come back at lunchtime and knocked on Jimin’s door, asking to talk. He explained that the meeting tonight was going to be about the scandal and about Dae-Hyun, but wanted to discuss it with Jimin first. That’s when he dropped the bombshell of the jerk wanting to talk to him directly as well.

“Namjoon-hyung, how can he think I’d want to talk to him?”

“Jimin, he was a desperate man backed into a corner. He’s done far more than he needed to in order to fix this for us. You have no idea the sacrifices he’s made. By coming clean to us he risked his mother’s cancer treatment! You cared about him once and I know that a part of you still does. You’re the kindest and most forgiving person I’ve ever met. Think about it.”

“Aish, how am I supposed to say no when you compliment me like that?”

Namjoon chuckles and wraps an arm around his shoulders, winking before walking out the door. Jimin sits on his bed and thinks about his hyung’s words. He makes some good points and he can’t pretend he doesn’t understand to an extent. What would he have done if he was in Dae-Hyun’s shoes? He’d like to think he wouldn’t have made the same choices, but he can’t say that for sure. He thinks about his mother and feels such a rush of love that he finds himself picking up his phone. He unblocks the contact and hits the call button, listening to the ring.

“Jimin-ssi?”

“Hi.”

“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. I assume Namjoon somehow already made it to you?”

“He did. Is there something you wanted to say to me?”

“I don’t know where to begin. I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done. Not just to the group, but to you specifically. I should have never kissed you without your consent, I disrespected you and I disrespected Yoongi-hyung. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for that or for my role in what happened to Taehyung and Jungkook. I just wanted the chance to say that to you directly.”

“I’m not sure if I can ever forgive you, but I think at the meeting tonight the group will agree to hear you out. What Namjoon is doing for us has inspired everyone to be a little more selfless like him. If everyone else is willing to give you a second chance, I think I could too. It’ll depend on how the conversation goes. Namjoon hasn’t told us the extent of what your role in his plan was, but I have a feeling it runs deeper than we think.”

“I understand completely. Thank you for listening, Jimin-ssi. I should have never taken your friendship for granted.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. Have a good rest of your day, Dae-Hyun.”

Jimin hangs up the phone and flops backwards onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He does miss their friendship, he hadn’t connected with someone outside of the group like that in a long time. His nature makes him want to put it all behind them, but he needs to be sure first. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight. He knows he should get up and go find Hobi in the studio to practice, but curls himself under his covers instead. He skips lunch and dinner, laying in the dark until it’s time for the meeting.

********

Taehyung is the first to arrive in the living room, sitting on the couch and fidgeting while he waits. These meetings have become a source of anxiety for him, nothing good has come out of them in almost a year. It really hits him that they’re closing in on a year since Jungkook first kissed him at Home Party. He wishes that they could celebrate it together like an anniversary, but it brought nothing but chaos to everyone. He can’t even remember the date that he and Jungkook came back together, everything has been lost in the shuffle.

He’s worried about Jimin more than anything. He poked his head into his room earlier to offer him meals, but both times he was unresponsive. He’d walked over to the bed and wrapped his arms around the sleeping man, placing a kiss on his temple. Nothing is okay with Jimin. Not their soulmate bond, not his relationship with Yoongi, not his eating habits. Taehyung doesn’t want a repeat of debut-era Jimin where his mental health collapsed and he refused food altogether.

On the flip side, he’s worried about Yoongi too. He’s not sure who is feeding off of who, but it’s clear that something to do with each other is part of the problem. They barely even sit together anymore, let alone show any affection. He finds Jimin in his own bed almost every night and he wonders if they’re even speaking. He knows that Yoongi’s brain works a lot like his own and wishes that he could comfort his hyung, but he doesn’t want to pry unless he approaches him directly.

He hears a noise and snaps out of his train of thought, watching Namjoon and Yoongi walk in the front door. They’re not talking to each other, both looking lost in their thoughts when they look up and flash small smiles at Taehyung. Yoongi comes over and sits directly next to him while Namjoon heads down the hall and starts knocking on doors.

“Hey Tae.”

“Hi hyung.”

Yoongi reaches out and laces their fingers together, giving his hand a soft squeeze and looking at him with hopeful eyes. He smiles and squeezes back, looking down at their joined hands in relief. It feels like a small thread of hope. They don’t say anything, they don’t have to. A throat clears behind Taehyung and he sees Jimin standing there, staring at their hands and looking forlorn before sitting in an armchair. He starts to pull away from Yoongi and opens his mouth to say something when he’s interrupted by the rest of the crowd entering the room. He decides he’ll seek Jimin out after and keeps his hand in Yoongi’s. Jungkook sits on his other side, smiling at their display of affection and squeezing the back of his neck.

“Okay, now that we’re all here I want to start by checking in on everyone. How are you all doing with the story breaking? Thoughts? Feelings?”

He looks around the room, meeting all of their eyes one by one. No one seems to want to speak first, seemingly hesitating when addressing the elephant in the room. The silence drags on until Namjoon gets frustrated and speaks again.

“Come on, guys. I know you all have a take on the situation. I’ll start, maybe hearing something from me will help us start. I’m okay, really I am. Some of the responses have been hurtful and scary, I won’t pretend they haven’t. However, I’m impressed and touched by the ARMYs that have stuck by us and started to fight back in our stead. I’ve also heard a little buzz about this boosting us even further in America, you know they have endless LGBT icons there.”

Jimin speaks up softly, as if he’s afraid of the response.

“I’m worried about the attention on us leading to the rest of us being outed somehow.”

“That’s a completely valid fear, Jiminie. We’re going to be under scrutiny for a while, there’s no doubt about that. Even once the story is debunked, there are bound to be people who believe it’s true. We have to be careful about what we show on camera for a little while.”

“No! Hyung, please, we can’t go through that again.”

“Deep breaths, Kook. I don’t mean a separation like before, just a little caution. Tear drops in a few weeks and Answer won’t be far behind. We have an extremely busy comeback season this year. The Billboard Awards, appearances on American talk shows, concerts in several countries, constant promotions. We’re going to be watched closely.”

“Sorry, hyung. I’m just tired of the fear.”

“We all are, but this will all be worth it when we come out the other side. I promise you that. We can get through anything.”

Something is stuck in Taehyung’s head and decides to speak up.

“You said you wanted to start by checking in, Namjoon-hyung. Does that mean that this wasn’t the reason for the meeting?”

“Yes, Tae, I called you here for something else. I was at the office this morning with Bang, Bon-Hwa, and Dae-Hyun. The company is putting the finishing touches on our plans so they can take official legal action against Dispatch and the blackmailers.”

“Does that mean we know who it is that’s behind all of this?”

“We do. It’s SM.”

The room erupts in chatter, Taehyung has a hard time picking out any particular voices, but from what he gathers no one is all that surprised. They’ve all had idol friends who are signed under SM and heard about their shady practices. They bury their internal scandals better than any other company and keep their idols from speaking out about the cruel way they’re treated. He wants more information, though.

“So what happens next?”

“Bang said he needs about a week to get everything in order and then he’ll go to the press with the evidence to debunk the story. Dae-Hyun is going to stay ‘undercover’ just that little while longer to make sure that he can prove that it is indeed SM beyond a shadow of a doubt. Which brings me to the main reason for talking to you as a group instead of talking to you individually, Dae-Hyun was hoping he could sit and talk to you all again. I fully support him and would like you to consider agreeing. Before anyone says anything, can we do a preliminary vote to gauge where we’re all at? Can everyone willing to hear him out please raise a hand?”

Three hands go up: Namjoon, Jin, and Hobi. Taehyung looks at Jungkook, Yoongi, and Jimin next. He knows that they’d be the ones more likely to be hard on the man. Jimin’s eyes are darting back and forth between his hyungs before he nods to himself and also raises his hand. Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock, he didn’t expect Jimin to ever agree to this. If Jimin can be the bigger person here, so can he. He raises his hand as well. He feels Jungkook and Yoongi’s stares, but looks straight ahead at their leader.

“Okay, thank you. I’m glad to see that the majority of us are together on this. Who’d like to make their argument first? Jungkook?”

“Age before beauty, hyung!”

“Aish, you brat. Okay, I have no problem speaking first. I think this is bullshit. What would ever make any of you think this man deserves a chance to speak to us? He could have ruined our lives and in more extreme cases gotten some of us physically hurt. If there’s anyone in the world who doesn't deserve a second chance, it’s Dae-Hyun. Are you forgetting he kissed Jimin?”

“Yoongi-hyung, I understand all of that. No one has forgotten what he’s done to us, but Jimin and Taehyung have found it within themselves to hear him out. Can’t you do the same? Arguably they’ve both been more hurt by him than you have.”

“He’s right, Yoongi-hyung. If Tae and Chim are okay with this, I guess I am too. I’ll vote in favor.”

“Really, Kook-ah? You’re okay with sitting in front of that man and listening to him justify almost blackmailing you?”

“Namjoon-hyung isn’t asking us to forgive him, just to listen. We can do that. You can do that.”

A look passes between Jungkook and Yoongi that seems to have more weight behind it than it should and it leaves Taehyung confused. He makes a mental note to talk to Jungkook after the meeting and see what’s going on. He watches as messages pass between their eyes and Yoongi’s shoulders slump in defeat.

“Fine. If everyone else is sure, then fine. Expect me to rub it in your faces when I’m proven right.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and starts suggesting dates for Dae-Hyun to come by the dorm. Everyone still seems hesitant and the leader starts to discuss what the other man’s role in the situation has been since he first came clean. Slowly, Taehyung starts to feel more open to the idea that he can forgive. None of them really understood the scope of the situation on the inside, Namjoon has kept a lot of the details close to his chest. He feels a squeeze from Yoongi and looks over to see him leaning into his ear.

“Can we take a walk and chat after?”

Taehyung’s face breaks into a blinding smile and he feels part of his stress lift away. He’s leaned on Yoongi far too much and hasn’t been able to get a word out of the other about his own struggles. Maybe he’s finally coming around. He nods and squeezes back, but catches Jimin staring at them out of the corner of his eye. He frowns to himself and leans over to Jungkook.

“Kookie, Yoongi-hyung wants to talk to me after the meeting, but I’m worried about Jiminie. Can you take him back to your room and check on him? Tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can and the three of us can spend the night together.”

Jungkook smiles at him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and running a hand along his cheek. He knows Jimin will be in good hands.

********

“Hyung, let’s go back to my room and snuggle.”

“I don’t know, Kookie. I just want to go to sleep.”

“You’ve been sleeping all day, come on!”

Jungkook doesn’t give Jimin a choice, dragging him by the wrist down the hall. He’ll pick him up and carry him if he has to. He knows how low he’s getting and he’s determined to help whether Jimin accepts it or not. They get to his room and he closes the door behind him, nudging the other man onto his bed and tossing a banana at him.

“Eat something. I’m serious. Taehyung is going to be here soon and we’re going to spend the night together, all three of us like old times.”

Jimin begrudgingly tears open the fruit, nibbling a small bite and then placing it in his lap. He does seem to perk up a bit at the idea of a maknae sleepover. Jungkook sits down, his back against the headboard and reaches out a hand.

“Come on, Jiminie. Eat your banana and lay with me. Talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to do, Jungkook. I’m losing him.”

“What’s going on with you two? You’re both barely floating through the day.”

“I have no idea. He just slowly started to drift and now he’s so far away that I can’t even catch a glimpse of him on the horizon. We barely spend any time together. I sneak into his room sometimes when he’s already asleep and curl up there, but he’s always gone when I wake up.”

“You know how Yoongi-hyung is. He’s not the most expressive person and he tends to retreat into himself.”

“I know, but he’s not supposed to be that way with me. I love him more than he can even imagine, I just want to be his safe space. I thought that’s what was happening, he was starting to be vulnerable around me and wear his heart on his sleeve. Then it seemed to become the opposite overnight. I feel like I’ve tried everything to get through to him.”

“Hmm, what if I said I had a plan that could help you get past his walls? It’s not a guarantee, but I think it would reach him at least a little bit.”

“I guess it depends on what it is. I can barely function right now.”

“I know, Jimin-ah, but maybe this will breathe life into you as well. Actually, now that I think about it, I think Dae-Hyun would be the perfect person to help us with this. The timing on this could be absolutely perfect.”

“Dae-Hyun?!”

“Yes, after hearing Namjoon talk about him tonight, I’m more than willing to meet with him, but if he still feels like he owes us a little…this could be the last boost he needs to reach forgiveness. Keep an open mind, okay?”

Jimin sits up and stares at him, waiting. Jungkook launches into the details of his idea and watches understanding dawn on the other man’s face. It’s a bit half-baked, but he’s hoping Jimin will want to fill in the blanks with him. It only just occurred to him when the meeting came to a close, but he thinks it will work. Jimin starts to make small suggestions and Jungkook feels an overwhelming sense of relief.

They need to get started first thing tomorrow morning.

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 13: Locked Inside The Dark Where I'm Suffocating Deeper

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, currently 82k

Chapter Summary:

Watching San during the dance routine had made his stomach twist. He’d looked enraptured, confused, and just the slightest bit heartbroken. Wooyoung has no idea what that gesture looked like to everyone but him. Yeosang had hoped that when he showed it to Jimin it would’ve been pointed out to him, but no luck. That must have sent San such mixed messages and Wooyoung seems entirely oblivious.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Seonghwa wonders if he has actually stopped breathing or if he’s imagining it. His chest aches and he’s completely frozen in place. He tells himself this isn’t happening, Hongjoong doesn’t know about him and San. He can’t possibly know. The sky is falling, the world is on fire, he needs to find the nearest cliff. He looks over at San and feels his eyes filling with tears at the resigned look on the younger man’s face. He sends a pleading look and he seems to understand because he opens his mouth to speak.

“Hyung, it’s not what you think it is.”

“Oh, it isn’t? So you two haven’t been hooking up then? It’s all an illusion?”

“It was only a few times and it’s not happening anymore. It hasn’t been happening for a while now. How—how did you find out? Did Wooyoung tell you?”

“I’m fairly certain my eyes don’t lie to me. You two should have been more discreet. Wooyoung knows too?”

Seonghwa’s mouth goes completely dry and his heart is pounding. Hongjoong saw them? He lets out a breath and tries to chime in, but words just won’t come. Luckily San jumps in.

“Um, well, we think so. We ran into him in the hall with a dropped tray of coffee, we think he may have opened the door and seen us.”

Hongjoong lets out a dark and bitter chuckle that twists Seonghwa’s stomach into a knot. The look on the leader’s face is strained and cynical.

“That was me. I was bringing coffee to Hwa to apologize and try to reconnect. Imagine my surprise when I opened our bedroom door to see him leaning over to kiss you.”

That’s the breaking point, the pinnacle of what Seonghwa is equipped to handle. He bursts into tears, his chest constricting so tight that he’s fairly certain he’s going to suffocate. San and Hongjoong turn to him with surprised looks on their faces, but he can’t control his outburst. The man he loves saw him kissing their friend, their bandmate, someone that wasn’t him. Seonghwa knows that Hongjoong will never be an option for him, but that doesn’t mean he wants him to see him with someone else.

“Hwa, take a deep breath.”

“I-I-I’m so sorry Joongie. It didn’t mean anything. It was just comfort during a hard time.”

“He’s right, hyung. We made a mistake in a moment of weakness and pain, it really wasn’t anything more than that.”

“What exactly was happening that needed such comfort? Hm? What else have you two been keeping to yourselves?”

Seonghwa is struck with a lightning bolt of fear. He can’t have this conversation, he doesn’t want to have this conversation. He looks over at San and the younger man gives him a slight nod and a sad smile before turning back to Hongjoong.

“I’m in love with Wooyoung. I pretty much always have been. It’s been exceptionally hard lately to be around him in our normal way. When we all switched roommates in New York I let it all out and it was overwhelming. I kissed Seonghwa, I started this, I kept going to him to be consoled. Don’t blame him for this. Blame me.”

“Dropping honorifics, are we?”

Seonghwa puts his elbows on his knees and hangs his head, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He and San have gotten too used to being casual, that slip up should never have happened in front of Hongjoong.

“Alright, you two. Does anyone else know about this?”

“Just Yunho.”

“You’re going to keep this to yourselves from now on. If you say it isn’t happening anymore I believe you, but this was risky and stupid. Anything else that has anything to do with this situation needs to be shared with me. I am the leader and I am responsible for you. That means even things with Wooyoung, San.”

“Yes, hyung. Of course, I promise.”

“Seonghwa, you’ve been exceptionally quiet. Do you have anything you need to say?”

Yes. San took the fall for me, but it was me too. I let myself drown in it so I could forget how in love with you I am, even if it was just for a minute.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I understand I need to disclose these kinds of things to you.”

“Okay. You two are dismissed. I need time with this.”

Seonghwa looks over to see San watching him and they stand up together to leave. When they reach the door, he looks back and sees Hongjoong moving things around on his computer screen with his headphones already on. Any progress they made feels hollow now. This feels like a goodbye to some part of their relationship that he can’t quite identify. His hand shakes as he grabs the doorknob and closes the door behind them.

********

Yeosang is sitting on the couch in the practice room watching Wooyoung run through some of their routines for the comeback. Once San got called to Hongjoong’s studio Wooyoung had tackled him onto the floor and squealed at the success of the gesture he made. Yeosang held him tight and tried not to let the shadows in his mind show on his face.

Watching San during the dance routine had made his stomach twist. He’d looked enraptured, confused, and just the slightest bit heartbroken. Wooyoung has no idea what that gesture looked like to everyone but him. Yeosang had hoped that when he showed it to Jimin it would’ve been pointed out to him, but no luck. That must have sent San such mixed messages and Wooyoung seems entirely oblivious.

Wooyoung’s phone buzzes on the end table and Yeosang leans over it to see that he has a text from Jimin. The message itself is hidden, but he can’t help but feel intrigued. He walks over to the stereo and turns the volume down, drawing a sound of protest from Wooyoung who had been in the middle of a spin.

“Sorry Wooyo, you have a text from Jimin-hyung. I figured you wouldn't want to miss something like that.”

Wooyoung’s eyes go wide and he squeals as he runs over to where his phone sits next to the couch. He swipes the message open, eyes darting over the screen. Yeosang watches his face change, the excitement shifts to confusion and then a profound pain. Concern hits him in the gut and he hurries over to where his best friend stands.

“Wooyoung? What is it?”

He turns his phone screen around so Yeosang can look and his eyes scan the message.

Wooyoung-ssi! How did the big romantic gesture go?! Did San love it?!

Romantic gesture. Oh no.

********

San and Seonghwa are sitting together as the company car brings them back to the dorm. They haven’t said a word to each other since they left Hongjoong’s studio. Walking in silence down the hallways, riding in the elevator, waiting for their car. Complete silence. San’s head is pounding and he has so many emotions swirling around inside him. This day is going to be the death of him and he feels like he’ll have no time to process it with the comeback date breathing down his neck.

He looks out the window as his mind races, replaying the day in his head. He feels a hand tentatively slide over his and fingers lacing gently with his own. He doesn’t pull away, but also doesn’t look over at Seonghwa. If they start talking now he’ll completely lose his composure and he wants to be home for that. He knows they need to unpack everything, but he doesn’t want to sob in front of the driver and whoever might be sitting in the living room when they get home.

Wooyoung choreographed a dance for me. During our busiest time. The movements were so delicate and fluid. He chose a Troye Sivan song. He chose my favorite Troye Sivan song. He told me his youth is mine. What the fuck does all this mean? He can’t possibly…:? No, of course not. Stop being stupid San.

He doesn’t realize they’ve pulled up to the dorm until Seonghwa is gently tugging on his hand to coax him out of the car. He feels like he’s floating, simply going through the motions. He can’t seem to react properly to anything around him, Seonghwa is just moving him through the parking lot and the building like he’s a ragdoll. It hits him then.

Hongjoong caught us. He saw us kissing. Seonghwa must be a mess and yet he’s taking care of me. I took the fall as best I could. It felt like hell on earth when I thought Wooyoung was the one who’d caught on. I know how he’s feeling and I need to help him. How can I help him when I can’t breathe?

San’s chest is heaving, his breaths coming short and shallow. He grips Seonghwa’s hand hard enough that he’s sure he feels bones shifting. It makes the older man turn around in alarm and pry their hands apart so he can cup his face instead. His thumbs run softly over his cheeks and San can feel the tightness in his chest loosen the slightest bit.

“Look at me, San-ah. Focus on my face. I’m right here. We just have to get inside and we can go to my room and talk about everything, okay? Can you do that?”

“Y-Yeah. Sorry, I think it’s all just hitting me now.”

“I know, it’s a complete mess, but you did so well and we’re going to get through this. Come on.”

San takes slow, deep breaths and tries to calm himself down. Seonghwa is being so strong and worrying about him more than himself and the least he can do is repay the kindness. They fidget with the keys until they finally unlock the front door and make their way into the dorm. Something inside San wants to cry when he sees Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho gathered in the living room chattering happily. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone, but the maknae sees him and leaps off the couch to greet him.

“San-hyung! Seonghwa-hyung! I’m so glad you’re home! I have amazing news!”

“Can it wait just a little bit? Sannie isn’t feeling great and I want to get him to bed.”

San can see Yunho perk up at that sentence and a look of concern flashes over his face as his gaze travels San’s body from top to bottom. They make eye contact and the most he can do is send his roommate a small shake of the head to urge him to leave it alone.

“Oh no, San-hyung, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to tell you guys that Jungkook-hyung called me and he wants to sing together! I can’t believe it!”

“That’s amazing, Jongho! You deserve it, your voice is absolutely incredible. We’re so proud of you!”

San is grateful that Seonghwa has been jumping in without hesitation. The most he can manage is a half-hearted smile and a tight hug that the maknae squeezes out of before they escape down the hall and into Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s room. He flops down onto the bed and puts his hands over his face. Seonghwa sits next to him and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Come on, San-ah. Don’t shut down, we need to talk.”

“Hyung, I’m so sorry. I want to be strong for you right now, but I feel like my head is stuffed full of cotton.”

“Hey, cut that out. You were incredibly strong for me, you completely took over that confrontation while I fell to pieces. My turn to take over, okay? Talk to me.”

“When Hongjoong-hyung called me into the studio I was in the practice room with Wooyoung and Yeosang. Wooyoung choreographed a dance for me, a gesture to show me how much he cares and to make up for everything we went through.”

“He what?! That’s so sweet, Sannie. What’s wrong with that?”

“Don’t you think that’s kind of a mixed signal? Or at the very least a special brand of torture for me? He chose my favorite Troye Sivan song and at the end said ‘My youth is yours, San-ah. Let’s enjoy it together.’”

Seonghwa has gone silent and it worries San enough to make him sit up and pull his hands away from his face. The elder’s face has morphed into an expression of shock, but there’s a small smirk at the corner of his mouth.

“Hwa, why are you looking at me like that?”

“San, do you really not understand what that means?”

“Don’t start please. It’s Wooyoung, he’s an overly affectionate person. Let’s not make it into something it isn’t.”

“Why are you so sure? Youngie is pansexual, you’re beautiful and sweet and so much fun. Why is it such an outrageous idea that he might feel something?”

“I can’t let that hope into my heart, I just can’t. The higher I climb, the harder I’ll fall. Can we just leave it alone and figure out what to do about Hongjoong-hyung? Please?”

“Alright, I’ll drop it for now, but I really want you to give this some thought. Don’t bury it.”

“So, hyung knows what happened. How are you taking that?”

Seonghwa lets out a sigh and rolls his eyes. San knows that he’s not being subtle in his desperation to change the subject, but he needs to focus on something else.

“I don’t know, San. I never really imagined a world where he’d have to know about my romantic life. The idea of him seeing me kiss someone else makes me feel sick. No offense.”

“No, I totally understand. I nearly collapsed when I thought it was Wooyoung who caught us, remember? What are we going to do?”

“I’m not sure there’s much we can do. He needs time and space, we need to put a little distance between us when he’s around. I don’t want him to think it’s still going on.”

“I think that’s a good idea, no matter how much it will suck. I’ve gotten used to having you around, Hwa. You’re my rock.”

“The feeling is mutual, San-ah. Come on, climb under the covers. We’ll watch a movie. This might be the last time for awhile, let’s make the most of it.”

********

Hongjoong is doing his best to work on the track in front of him, but he’s really just darting his mouse around the screen trying to sort his thoughts out. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling like this, the information he got from San isn’t really anything he didn’t already know. He’s been processing the kissing for weeks and San being in love with Wooyoung really isn’t that much of a shock. So why is he reeling?

Seonghwa’s devastated face keeps flashing in front of his eyes. He had utterly crumpled, falling apart in a way that Hongjoong isn’t used to seeing. San had jumped to his rescue, taking over the meeting completely and seemingly protecting him from having to address the issue. It was sweet to see the support, but it also made some emotion stir in him that he still can’t quite place. He wanted to throw himself onto the couch and wrap Seonghwa into a bear hug, soothing his tears and reassuring him that everything is going to be okay. The only problem is that he has no idea if that would have been a lie. He doesn’t know where they go from here.

A melody starts to wind its way through his head and he turns to the keyboard on his right. He starts to map out the notes, tweaking the octave and the result is the start of a soft ballad that he hums along to. He pours all of his confusion and hurt and concern into the music, stumbling over out of place sounds and stunted pauses in the middle of measures. He has no idea how much time has passed as he’s fiddled around, but before he knows it he has the bare bones of a new track in front of him. It doesn’t fit for the group, but maybe it could be a solo song. Something raw and real, something from his soul.

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 12: Let's Leave To A Far Place

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, currently 78k

Chapter Summary:

Wooyoung is violently ripping through the clothing options in his closet, suddenly hating every single thing he owns. He’s pulling out shirt after shirt, throwing it over his shoulder when he realizes it’s not good enough. He threads his fingers through his hair and pulls, feeling beyond frustrated at this disaster. In the chaos he doesn’t hear the bedroom door open and only realizes he’s not alone in the room anymore when he hears a shriek behind him.

“Wooyoung! What is this mess?! There’s a mountain of clothes right in the middle of the floor! I can’t even get to my bed. What are you doing?”

“Yeosangie, you know we’re going to meet BTS-sunbaenim tonight! I have absolutely nothing to wear. Jimin-sunbae is going to think I’m so lame and never want to talk to me.”

“You’re being ridiculous. He’s not going to care what you’re wearing.”

“Of course he is! Have you seen his fashion?! Ugh, you don’t get it.”

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Hongjoong has been standing outside of the Rkive studio for fifteen minutes, not quite able to bring himself to knock on the door. He can’t remember the last time he was this intimidated by someone. He knows there’s no reason to be, Namjoon has been incredibly kind each time they’ve interacted and coming here was his idea. He’s not normally one to get star-struck, but he wants to impress him so very badly. He steels himself and lifts a hand to knock, other hand clutching the strap of his messenger bag.

The door opens to a very casual-looking Namjoon, clad in sweats and slippers with a beanie pulled low over his head. Hongjoong looks down at his own clothes and feels overdressed in a silly way. He’d spent an hour this morning putting together just the right clothes that look effortless but chic. He’s shaken out of his panic by Namjoon greeting him with an unexpected amount of enthusiasm.

“Hongjoong-ssi! You’re here! I can’t wait to hear what you’re working on. Come in, come in. Go ahead and sit anywhere you want.”

Hongjoong walks into the studio and looks around in awe. He could fit three of his studios in this room. He walks the perimeter, looking at the decorations on the walls and Namjoon’s collections on the bookshelves. He runs a delicate finger along equipment he’s only ever dreamed of using. Putting his bag down on the couch and pulling out his laptop, he sits and feels a blanket of awkwardness lay over him. He has no idea what to say or where to start. Lucky for him, Namjoon doesn’t seem to have the same issue.

“So, Hongjoong! I’ve spent the days since our phone call really listening to what you’ve released and I can’t believe you’re rookies! The compositions and mixes are really interesting, really unique. How much of that is you?”

“Um, well, wow. Thank you. I work really hard alongside Eden and a few others to produce the best songs we can. I have a bigger hand in the music than a lot of other idols are allowed to.”

“It sounds like you know what you’re doing, what’s been the issue lately?”

“I’m really not sure. It’s like watching something through frosted glass, I can’t quite see what I need to see.”

“Hmm, is there anything going on with you personally that could be distracting you? I know I’ve struggled when I have things weighing on me. They say pain produces great art, but that’s not always how things work, is it?”

“No I guess not, sometimes it just steals my attention. Um, I guess we’ve been having some interpersonal issues between the members and it’s been a bit stressful.”

“Ah, the burden of the leader. You’re the one who has to mediate and fix everything. That’s a big part of why I wanted to reach out to you, there was no one to help me learn how to lead at such a young age. I completely flailed and I want to make sure you have the support I lacked. The company will always help, but they don’t really know what it’s like in the trenches.”

“It doesn’t help that I’m not the best at talking about emotions. It’s hard to school everyone else’s feelings when I can’t process my own very well.”

“That’s definitely a key part. Is there anything specific I can help you with? No pressure, I know we don’t know each other very well, but I am always here to be an ear for you. I hope you know you can trust me.”

Hongjoong pauses and takes a moment before responding. He feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t talk everything out with someone, but he and Namjoon are essentially strangers. On the other hand, he hasn’t felt like he can really talk to any of the members except Yeosang and even that wasn’t for advice. Maybe he can find a way to leave out the key details. He chews on his lip and decides that he can’t pass up the opportunity for some real help.

“Well. I watched your press conference. I hope you don’t mind me bringing this up. I really admired the stand you all took, it was very powerful. Do you know any other groups who have dealt with LGBT issues?”

“Companies tend to keep that kind of stuff under wraps and we’re not quite close enough with any other groups to be let in on that information. I’m sure there are plenty. There are of course scandals and rumors, but they almost always turn out to be false. I assume any real stories are well-hidden. I’ve never seen a scandal as big as my own, that’s for sure.”

Namjoon throws his head back with a laugh and Hongjoong just looks at him with his jaw dropped. He speaks about such a big thing so casually and doesn’t seem at all uncomfortable discussing it. Maybe he’s the right person to go to after all.

“I have two members, I’d rather not say who, who have…gotten close. I’m not really sure how to handle it and it’s been weighing on me.”

“Of course, don’t share anything you don’t want to! Have you talked to the pair in question? Have they come to you with this personally?”

“No, I have no idea how to bring it up. I caught them, but they don’t actually know that.”

“Hongjoong-ssi, how long ago did this happen?”

“Months.”

“Okay, first leader lesson. You cannot hide things for that long, without communicating you’ll falter. Resentments will grow, misunderstandings will fly everywhere, nothing will get solved.”

“How do you even bring that up?!”

“You need to sit them down calmly and ask how everything is. See if they bring it up themselves. If they’re still hiding it, just gently mention you’ve noticed some things. Ask them to be honest with you about what’s going on.”

Hongjoong sucks in a deep breath, feeling a lump in his throat. He knows that Namjoon is right, but the thought of such an uncomfortable conversation makes him want to vomit. He makes eye contact with the older man and nods, quickly changing the subject to something that doesn’t freak him out quite so much.

“Oh also, I have a member who really looks up to Jimin-sunbaenim. Do you think there’d be any way they could meet?”

“Pfft, I’ll do you one better. Why don’t you all come over this upcoming weekend? We’ve got a rare free one as a reward for getting through such an intense award season. Do you guys have the time?”

“You want us all to come? Oh god, you don’t know what you’re asking for. My members are chaos. Um, yeah we have some free time, I’ll see what everyone’s plans are. Though honestly, I imagine they’ll all drop whatever they have going on for this opportunity.”

“Sounds good to me, it’ll be a blast. We’ll play games, throw on movies, have a few drinks. I really want our two groups to become friends.”

“Namjoon-hyung, I have one more question. Why us?”

“I was watching you at MAMA and something just clicked. I don’t have a better explanation than that unfortunately, you’re not the only one who struggles with words. I felt a pull, I had an instinct, and I followed it! Now, let’s see what you’re working on. We’ll break this writer’s block together.”

********

Wooyoung is violently ripping through the clothing options in his closet, suddenly hating every single thing he owns. He’s pulling out shirt after shirt, throwing it over his shoulder when he realizes it’s not good enough. He threads his fingers through his hair and pulls, feeling beyond frustrated at this disaster. In the chaos he doesn’t hear the bedroom door open and only realizes he’s not alone in the room anymore when he hears a shriek behind him.

“Wooyoung! What is this mess?! There’s a mountain of clothes right in the middle of the floor! I can’t even get to my bed. What are you doing?”

“Yeosangie, you know we’re going to meet BTS-sunbaenim tonight! I have absolutely nothing to wear. Jimin-sunbae is going to think I’m so lame and never want to talk to me.”

“You’re being ridiculous. He’s not going to care what you’re wearing.”

“Of course he is! Have you seen his fashion?! Ugh, you don’t get it.”

“Young-ah, we’re having a night in. Games and drinks and just hanging out. Wear something comfortable. Here, take this.”

Yeosang has dug through the clothes on the floor and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a silky white button-up shirt. Wooyoung sighs and takes the outfit from his outstretched hand, knowing it’s not any better or worse than anything else he’s picked up and thrown over his shoulder. Maybe his best friend is right, maybe he’s making too big of a deal out of his. He pulls the clothes on and walks over to the mirror to put on light makeup and get his hair just right. Yeosang comes up behind him and approves each move he makes.

“You look great, come on let’s go. Hey, what if you showed Jimin-sunbaenim what you’re working on for San? He’d be the perfect person to give an opinion.”

“If the night goes well and he doesn’t seem like he totally hates me, maybe.”

Yeosang throws an arm over his shoulder and tugs him out the door. They meet everyone in the living room and he catches San’s eye, throwing a finger heart this way as Hongjoong clears his throat and gets everyone’s attention.

“Okay. I hope I don’t need to say this, but everyone needs to be on their best behavior tonight. The companies approved this visit, but we need to follow their lead. They’re the hosts. Don’t drink much, don’t be rude, stay formal unless they instruct you otherwise. Have fun, but please don’t embarrass me.”

Everyone nods and promises, Wooyoung crossing a finger over his heart in a swear when Hongjoong specifically shoots him a warning look. He holds out a hand to San as everyone heads down to the cars and smiles when their fingers lace. He pulls him into the first car and immediately snuggles up against him, burrowing his way under one of his arms to lay across his chest as they head towards the BTS dorm. The closer they get the more he finds himself fidgeting.

“You okay, Youngie?”

“Yeah. I’m just so nervous, San-ah. I’m meeting Park Jimin tonight. In his home. To hang out. Not just at an awards show or a professional function. Is this real?”

“It’s real. We’re hanging out with freaking BTS!”

Wooyoung squeals and wraps both arms around San’s torso, squeezing as tight as he can. A gasp punches out of his lungs and he releases some of the pressure. He figures BTS won’t want to meet a corpse and the man who suffocated him. The car comes to a stop and they climb out, linking up with the others and heading upstairs to the apartment behind Hongjoong who’s looking at the directions on his phone. Their staff walks them to the door and then waves them off, trusting them to handle it on their own from here. Hongjoong knocks and the door swings open, revealing freaking Kim Namjoon with a beaming smile on his face.

“Friends! Come on in guys! Everyone’s been super excited to meet you properly.”

They crowd in through the front door, kicking their shoes off and bowing deeply to Namjoon. He introduces himself to each of them one by one and Wooyoung can barely get his name out. His throat is suddenly bone dry and his tongue seems too big for his mouth. They turn the corner into the big open-concept living room and the other six members of BTS are standing there holding a big banner above their head painted with the words WELCOME ATEEZ with the Bangtan members’ names written around them. They’re cheering and whooping and Wooyoung’s nerves are suddenly gone. The atmosphere in the room is so friendly and fun that he knows these are his types of people.

“Okay, okay! Calm down, guys. This is ATEEZ. This is their leader, Hongjoong. Everyone, mingle and introduce yourselves. We aren’t your parents. And please, let’s use ‘hyung’ instead of ‘sunbaenim’, yeah? Let’s have some fun!”

Wooyoung is clinging to San as they make their way around the room. They introduce themselves to everyone one by one as the other members do the same. The last person they come to is Jimin and Wooyoung can’t find the words he wants to say. Luckily, San bails him out.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Choi San and this is Jung Wooyoung.”

“Park Jimin! San-ssi, Wooyoung-ssi. I’ve seen you guys walking around the room attached at the hip. Is San the outgoing one and Wooyoung a bit of a wallflower?”

The absurdity of the question catches Wooyoung off-guard and he starts to cackle at the top of his lungs. It only increases as he sees Jimin’s eyes widen at the sound before he joins him with a full-body laugh to rival his own. He’s immediately put at ease and San is looking between the two of them and rolling his eyes. He leaves them to their laughing fit and walks over to where Yeosang and Mingi are talking to Jungkook.

“Sorry, Jimin-hyung. I swear I’m not laughing at you. I’m just known as the loudest one in the group, I talk to everyone I meet far too much. San likes to say I’m chaos personified.”

“Oh we’re going to get along famously, Wooyoung-ah. I think we could get up to some really excellent mischief together.”

“Mischief is my middle name, come on let’s go find somewhere to sit. We can start plotting.”

********

There is a conflicting set of emotions swirling through Seonghwa and he just wants to get a handle on them all. He still can’t quite believe that they’re just casually hanging out with BTS as if it’s something they do every week. The groups seem to be melding really well, everyone has fallen into an easy camaraderie over the past few hours. No one seems to be hogging anyone else, with the exception of Wooyoung and Jimin who have been chattering so intensely that no one dares to interrupt them. He looks around the room watching everyone play games and smiles.

He’s in his element here. While anyone outside their group seems to think he’s an introvert, he gets his recharge by interacting with other people. He’s been getting to know each BTS member little by little and has found that he has at least one thing in common with each of them. Taehyung seems to click the best with him, though. They’ve talked about everything from fashion to art to their favorite music. He has just let the older man steal away with San and is relaxing with a drink observing everyone. He was eliminated from the game ages ago anyway.

He glances over to the corner where Hongjoong is in a hushed conversation with Namjoon and Yoongi, looking intense and focused. He imagines they’re talking about composing, Hongjoong never seems to just relax and leave work behind. He’s been different since he came home from his meeting with the BTS leader, calmer and more assured in his actions. He can’t help but wonder what they spent their time talking about, he had been gone all day. He feels a surge of jealousy course through him, just wanting to give Hongjoong whatever Namjoon seems to provide.

Seonghwa constantly finds himself wishing he had more of a gift for creating music. He can take whatever is handed to him and turn it into reality, but he can’t seem to help compose anything. He has spent time in Hongjoong’s studio when he’s working on something and tried to help when asked, but his brain just doesn’t seem to work that way. Maybe if it did he’d be able to grow closer to Hongjoong, crawl inside his head and see its inner workings.

His gaze is drawn away from the three in the corner when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. Wooyoung is dragging Jimin down the hallway by the hand, both of them laughing and wrestling as they walk. His brow furrows and he stands up, intent on finding out what’s going on. He’s been trying to keep an eye and a short leash on Wooyoung and Mingi all night, knowing if anyone is going to give him trouble it’s going to be one of them. He starts towards the hallway when he’s stopped by Yeosang.

“Let him go, hyung. He’s just getting Jimin’s opinion on something. It was my idea. Jimin seemed excited to go with him, don’t worry so much. Are you having fun?”

“Of course I am, Yeosangie. I’m just also the eldest and need to keep an eye on everyone. Hongjoong is distracted and I’m his eyes and ears.”

“Yah, Seonghwa-ssi, you sound like me!”

Seonghwa whips around and sees Jin smiling at him from his spot on the floor. He waves a beckoning hand and Seonghwa takes one more look down the hallway before heading over to the eldest member of BTS and sitting down to join him. They start to chatter about the trick of being the eldest, but not the boss and soon Seonghwa relaxes and forgets about Wooyoung and Jimin.

********

A week passes and San finds himself walking down the halls of the KQ building towards their practice room. As their comeback approaches everyone is in crunch time so he’s not surprised that Wooyoung asked to meet here. If there’s anyone overly focused on their dancing, it’s him. He turns the corner and hears more than one voice echoing out of the open door of their dance studio, his brow furrowing. He wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here and can’t quite figure out who it is. He steps into the room and sees Wooyoung and Yeosang talking animatedly in the corner near the sound system.

“Um, hey guys. What’s up?”

“You’re here! Perfect, go sit against the mirrors on the far wall. Yeosangie, press play and go sit on the couches.”

“Are you sure about this, Young-ah?”

“Hush and go press play!”

San is beyond confused about what they’re bickering about or what the hell is going on. Yeosang walks over to the speakers and queues up a song before making his way to the couches and sinking down into one, hand covering his mouth as his eyes focus on Wooyoung. San looks to his best friend and sees him jumping up and down, seemingly warming up to show him something. He must want input on how he’s progressing on the Answer choreo. San settles in to watch when he’s taken aback by the song that plays through the speakers. It’s Youth by Troye Sivan.

What if, what if we run away? What if, what if we left today?My youth, my youth is yours.

He loves Troye Sivan and Wooyoung knows that. This in particular is a song he used to have on repeat pre-debut. He feels his chest tighten as he watches the dance, wondering when there was time to choreograph and practice this when they’re preparing for a comeback. He glances over at Yeosang for a split second and sees his eyes trained on him instead of the dancing. He’s immediately brought back to Wooyoung as he draws closer, dropping to his knees on the floor and swooping backwards in San’s own move from Answer as the song comes to a close.

Silence fills the room and Wooyoung is breathing heavily, looking at him with wide eyes filled with warmth. He looks over to Yeosang and gets a tentative but nervous smile in return. He’s at a complete loss for words. The best he can come up with is:

“Woo, what is this?”

“Sannie, I treated you so horribly. You were so gracious and loving in the way you forgave me. I know we’ve been doing a lot of work to get back to us, but I wanted to do something to really show you how much I care and assure you I’ll never let you down again.”

“Y-you somehow found time to choreograph this just to show it to me?”

“Of course, I’d do anything for you. I know how much you love Troye Sivan and these lyrics always remind me of us. My youth is yours, San-ah. Let’s enjoy it together.”

San feels tears spring to his eyes and all he wants to do right now is kiss the man in front of him. He settles for launching himself forward into a hug that crashes them to the floor. Wooyoung cackles and squeezes him, rolling them like logs across the room. He lets himself soak in the love and affection being shown to him and tries not to read any more into it than that. They eventually hit the couch where Yeosang is sitting and stop rolling, looking up and dissolving into giggles at the side-eye he’s giving them.

“San-ah, when you two are done rolling around like five-year-olds, you have a text from Hongjoong-hyung waiting on your phone.”

“Thanks, I’ll go check it now. Let me up, Youngie!”

Wooyoung makes a big show of not wanting to let go before untangling their arms and legs. San sits up and walks over to the side table to pick up his phone. The text from Hongjoong came in five minutes ago and it’s not in the group chat which is unusual. They don’t text that often individually. He opens the message with a frown.

Kim Hongjoong:

Yunho said you’re in the practice room with Wooyoung and Yeosang. Come to my studio when you’re done.

“Sorry guys, hyung needs me to go to his studio.”

“Sannie, now? Tell hyung to go suck an egg.”

“Hush, Wooyoung-ah. We’ll have a sleepover tonight, yeah?”

“Oh god, I won’t get any sleep, will I? I’m bunking with Yunho. I can’t have you two keeping me up yet again.”

San chuckles and picks up one of the couch pillows to lob at Yeosang’s head. Then he walks over to where Wooyoung is still laying on the floor and reaches out a hand to haul him to his feet.

“Wooyoung, this was amazing. Thank you so much. I don’t know how to tell you how much this meant to me. Amicus!”

“Ad!”

“Aras!”

They cross their arms to punctuate their motto and San pulls him into one more hug before he makes his way out of the room. He feels like he’s walking on air. Wooyoung put in so much work just to make a gesture to show his affection. Their connection is finally healing and San can’t help but feel immense relief. Their time apart made it clear that he’d rather be in unrequited love with Wooyoung for the rest of his life but have him as a best friend than not have him around at all. He’s replaying the dance routine in his head as he rounds the corner and knocks on Hongjoong’s studio door. It swings open and he glances inside, seeing Seonghwa sitting on the couch. He pauses before walking in and sitting down next to him.

“Hyung, do you know what this is about?”

“I don’t know any more than you do, Sannie. I just got here.”

Hongjoong locks the door and walks over to them, sitting himself down in his desk chair and looking incredibly uncomfortable. No one says anything for what feels like ages and San feels his palms grow cold and clammy. Something is very clearly wrong and the leader has done nothing but fidget and avoid looking either of them in the eye. Slowly it dawns on San what this might be about and he can feel his face contort in horror. He looks over at Seonghwa and when the eldest looks back at him he has a look of confusion on his face.

“San? Are you okay? What is it?”

“Hyung. He knows.”

“Knows what?”

San gives Seonghwa a pointed look and finally the lightbulb behind his eyes turns on and he blanches white as a sheet. He looks over at Hongjoong and the leader is now watching them like a hawk, elbows planted on the armrests of his chair and his fingers steepled in front of his face. He has one eyebrow raised and looks between both of them with a stern look on his face.

“Who wants to start?”

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 24: I Buried My Voice For You

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 220k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

This is the end of BTS then.

What is wrong with RM? Why would he allow this to happen?

I wonder what the guys think of their fearless leader being a pervert.

BigHit needs to cut their contract, there must be a morality clause.

Absolutely disgusting.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Taehyung is backstage talking to Bon-Hwa, trying to get to know the man a bit better. Namjoon felt it was a good idea for him to be spotted at a concert watching them and Taehyung can’t help but thank him over and over for what he’s doing. He’s got such a kind smile that he has immediately put everyone at ease.

“Bonhwa-ssi, I don’t know how to thank you enough for everything you’re doing for us. I know you’re sticking your neck out for strangers.”

“Namjoon-ah loves you all so much. He talks about you enough that it feels like I know you all already. I am more than happy to fight for what’s right, consequences be damned. I’m excited to watch you all perform, I’ve got the best seat in the house!”

“I know the point of you being here is to photograph you looking a bit mesmerized watching Namjoon-hyung, but do you have any plans for what comes next?”

“We do actually, this one was my idea and I’m a bit proud of its brilliance. I’m on the board of a charity here in Seoul. We’re having an auction in a few days, attendees can bid on our board members. Winners get a night out with whoever they’ve bid on. There are conduct rules of course, but it’s a fun way to raise money. Namjoon is going to bid on me until he wins. It’s going to look like he’s a jealous lover who refuses to let anyone have me. Once this all comes out, records will show he’s donated to the charity for years and was just showing his support.”

“Wow, that’s a great idea. It helps that you’ve known each other since childhood, you have so much to back up the friendship to the media. Is that going to be the big finale?”

“Yes, Dae-Hyun will finish presenting all of his evidence after the event and we’ll see if our relationship shows up in the media. I can’t wait to humiliate some bigots.”

“Please let us repay you in some way. We don’t just owe you one, we owe you several.”

“Be happy Taehyung-ssi. That’s all I want from you.”

Taehyung launches forward and hugs the other man, unable to contain himself. He will find a way to pay this debt. He makes a mental note to ask Namjoon-hyung what he can do. Maybe he can do something to help Bon-Hwa’s family financially. He pulls back from the hug when he hears the final call to the stage and flashes a big smile before running off.

This is the first time they’re performing Fake Love live and he’s going to do his best not to stare at Jungkook the entire time. He’s preparing himself for the insane crowd reaction when he lifts his shirt during the chorus. What he really wants is the moment they’re pressed together to last the entire performance.

Taehyung walks out onto the stage and feels the head rush of passion that hits every time. The bright lights, the screams of the crowd, the pounding of the music through his bones. He loses himself completely and finds himself easily focusing on the crowd instead of Jungkook. The song plays on and out of the corner of his eye he watches his hand go to the hem of his shirt and suddenly the audience erupts. He can’t keep the grin off his face, that’s his man.

They run off stage, elated. Everyone is jumping all over each other and cheering. He watches Namjoon run to Bon-Hwa and throw his arms around his neck, clutching tight. He knows they’re just barely in view from the side of the stage on purpose and he hopes there are cameras snapping. He looks over to Jimin and Yoongi, Jimin is jumping up and down and screeching happily at Yoongi. The elder is smiling back, but it’s not genuine. Does Jimin even notice?

********

Everyone is out celebrating a successful performance, shutting down a restaurant to accommodate the members and the entire staff. Bon-Hwa and Dae-Hyun are in a corner conspiring, Namjoon and Jin are toasting giant glasses of beer, Jungkook and Taehyung are talking quietly, Hobi is showing a staffer one of the moves from the routine. Everyone is full of joy. Jimin is scanning the room and finally lands on Yoongi’s face right next to him.

He’s staring down into his whiskey glass, a numb look on his face. His eyes are empty, seeing something that isn’t there. He’s been off for weeks, but no matter what Jimin tries, he can’t get through to him. This has been such a big accomplishment for them, this album is about to explode and the debut of Fake Love went so well. Why can’t Yoongi seem to enjoy it? If he really thinks about it, things have been wrong ever since Namjoon set his plan into motion. Is that what’s bothering him?

Jimin reaches out and fluffs a hand through Yoongi’s hair, but he doesn’t even flinch. No part of him is present and there is a pit in Jimin’s stomach. He has no idea what to do, how to help. He feels completely useless, like he’s letting down someone he loves. Maybe Taehyung can shed some light on the situation, he deals with depression and anxiety regularly.

He looks over to where his soulmate is snuggled up talking to Jungkook and changes his mind, he’s finally calmer and settled. The last thing he needs is someone trying to lean on him. All Jimin can do is keep trying to get through. He knows Yoongi isn’t sleeping. The few nights he does come back to the dorm and lets Jimin sleep with him, he stays awake staring at the ceiling. Once he thinks Jimin has fallen asleep, soft sobs fall from his lips so quietly that they can barely be heard.

He’s tried everything to get through to Yoongi. Romantic gestures, surprises, private dinners, easy nights at home with no pressure, allowing him his space. Nothing works. He won’t open up no matter what Jimin tries. He seems so far away and it’s starting to bleed over into Jimin a bit. He can feel himself withdrawing into himself little by little with time.

What if they can’t find their way back to each other?

********

Several nights pass and Namjoon finds himself dressed as discreetly as possible walking into the banquet hall. He’s wearing an all-black suit with sunglasses, hoping to blend in. His bodyguards are dressed similarly, but spread throughout the room as if they’re other guests. A key part of this step is to make it look like he doesn’t want to be recognized as bidding on Bon-Hwa at the auction.

As the night goes on, no one has recognized him yet and he’s put in some small bids on other participants to make it seem as if he’s just here for the charity. He looks at his program and can see that Bon-Hwa is coming up next. Dae-Hyun has a friend in the audience who is tasked with driving up Namjoon’s bid just in case it doesn’t seem as if winning isn’t important to him.

He sees his friend step out on stage and they immediately lock eyes, Bon-Hwa winking as he walks down the small runway. He’s dressed in a navy suit with a rose in the pocket and several women start to bid on him fervently. Namjoon raises his paddle quietly and the auctioneer nods at him, accepting his bid. Several other numbers are raised into the air and before he realizes it, Bon-Hwa has become the most popular participant of the night.

I’m so proud of him, but shit, I need to make sure I win this.

Namjoon continues to raise his paddle, wincing a bit at how high the price is when he’s finally declared the winner. He nods to the crowd as they applaud his victory and he puts his number face down on the table, standing up to leave. His job here is done. He takes care of settling his bid and leaves the banquet hall, hearing the clicks of a camera as he walks to the car waiting for him.

********

A week goes by and the media is quiet. Jungkook worries that the plan hasn’t worked out the way they thought, what if no one buys that Namjoon and Bon-Hwa are a couple? Everything they’ve done could be explained away and it’s only been a handful of incidents. He’s frantically refreshing Dispatch’s home page, like he has been all week. Watching it is only stressing him out, so he goes into the dorm’s kitchen to make a cup of tea. He places his phone on the counter and starts boiling water when he hears a yelp from down the hall.

Hobi comes running into the room asking where everyone else is. He’s waving his phone in the air and babbling incoherently. Jungkook is worried that something is wrong and shushes him, grabbing his phone from his hand to look at what’s going on.

RM of BTS revealed to be gay. Click here to learn about his lover and their affair.

“Oh my god! Hobi-hyung! It worked!”

“Read the article, Kookie!”

Jungkook clicks the link and scans the extensive article, seeing the photos of Namjoon and Bon-Hwa on their getaway vacation. There are snaps of them looking intimate and touchy, pictures of them having dinners here in Seoul, a sweet photo of them wrapped in each other’s arms at the Fake Love debut, one of Namjoon with his paddle in the air at Bon-Hwa’s auction.

The reporter doesn’t name their source, but lays out the evidence clearly. The receipt from their hotel, the desperation in Namjoon’s auction bidding, countless instances of them holding hands or tucking hair behind each other’s ears, trips to visit their families together. It’s all so thorough that Jungkook would believe it completely if he didn’t know any better. They almost did too good of a job selling it.

He shoves Hobi’s phone back at him and grabs his hand, pulling him down the hall to frantically knock on doors. The only ones home turn out to be Taehyung and Namjoon and the pair bursts into their room shrieking at the same time. All they manage to do is scare the other two with their fervor.

“Hoseok-ah, Jungkookie, deep breaths. What’s going on?”

“Namjoon-hyung, the article came out on Dispatch! You’ve been outed!”

He expects Namjoon to look at least a little scared, but instead his face breaks out into a huge grin as he grabs his phone and pulls up the website. He whoops and cheers at each new thing he sees, dancing around the room like a fool. Jungkook is shocked at the reaction.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

“Don’t you see. Kookie? Everything is going perfectly. We’ve got them! We did it! I have some calls to make.”

He watches Namjoon run from the room, phone clutched in his hand and a spring in his step. He walks over to where Taehyung and Hobi are bent over their phones together, chattering at different parts of the article and debunking them. He smiles warmly and sits on the floor in front of them, watching the look on his boyfriend’s face. Taehyung is the least anxious he’s seen him in a long time and he would do anything to keep things this way.

********

Yoongi is sitting on the roof breathing in the crisp spring air. He’s missed sitting up here, the cold weather consistently turning him away. There’s also a bit of reassurance in the idea that if he’s here, Jimin or Taehyung could find him if they really needed to. It’s the illusion of being alone with a safety net. His head is spinning, he wonders if anyone else has seen the Dispatch article yet. He imagines they have, at the very least Bang must have called someone to alert them.

He read through the article in his studio, but started to have trouble pulling air into his chest and came up to the roof to get some fresh air. His panic attacks are more or less controlled now, but it doesn’t mean they don’t try to take him down. They always will. The article was exactly what they all expected it to be, but Yoongi had made the mistake of looking at the comments.

This is the end of BTS then.

What is wrong with RM? Why would he allow this to happen?

I wonder what the guys think of their fearless leader being a pervert.

BigHit needs to cut their contract, there must be a morality clause.

Absolutely disgusting.

There were supportive comments as well, but those didn’t reach Yoongi the same way. The people full of venom and disdain voiced some of the worries that he’s had ever since he realized he had feelings for Jimin. He was sure that he was sick. He’s ashamed now to see his similarities to these cruel people.

If this is how people feel, he and Jimin can never come out. He’s dreamed of showing Jimin off to the world, making it clear that his love belongs to Yoongi. He thinks most of ARMY would accept them, he sees all of their shipping videos, but there would be some who would abandon them. He’s sure of it. He knows Jungkook and Taehyung dream of a day when they can be open and free as well, but all this has shown him is that that’s impossible.

He’ll have to marry a woman someday to keep up appearances, won’t he? No, no, there’s no way he’s ever promising himself to anyone but Jimin. He may never be able to show his love to the public, but he can bear the brunt of bucking societal norms to the point of not having a family life. It’s uncommon, but much more acceptable. He can’t stomach people throwing vitriol at him just because he dared to fall in love.

He keeps thinking of Namjoon, is he reading these comments? Are they cutting him this deeply? Is he regretting his choices now? Yoongi may have reassured Taehyung about all of this, but he doesn’t know if he believes his own words. Taehyung has been coming to him regularly and they’ve been unpacking his anxiety. It keeps Yoongi busy and distracted enough that his own darkness gets pushed back a bit. All he wants is to feel better, to grasp joy again.

Every time this happens, there’s no schedule. It ends when it ends. What if it takes months? He can’t do that to Jimin, he can see the sadness when their eyes meet. He knows the other man can feel him pull away. He’s watching Jimin try to lean into him, try to reattach and he just can’t feel it. It’s as if someone injected his soul with an anesthetic, he is numb from the inside out.

Maybe he needs to give Jimin some space, release him from the cage of dealing with Yoongi’s issues. Let him off the hook, if you will. No one should have to put up with this.

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 23: The Corner of My Memory

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 220k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

This has been his life for years, waves of depression and anxiety creeping up on him when he least expects it. Sure, the situation with Namjoon is nerve-wracking, but everything else is golden. They’re exploding all over the world, he’s producing music for other artists, he has the love of the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. What is wrong with him? Why is he always broken?

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Weeks fly by and before they realize it, it’s time for Namjoon to meet Bon-Hwa for their first outing. It starts small, just a dinner out in view of cameras. Articles pop up about Namjoon eating with a friend. Small groundwork starts to make itself clear. They’ve planned a vacation away in two weeks, after they finish shooting the video for “Fake Love”. Jungkook isn’t sure he’ll make it through the video alive. The stylists have put Taehyung into some sort of fetishwear harness and Jungkook is fighting to keep himself composed as they shoot.

There’s a small part of the choreography where Taehyung crouches down to help pick up Jungkook, his back stretched across the other’s. He can feel every ridge and strap of the harness hugging Taehyung’s body and he needs to pause the take and ask for a break. The others are looking at him concerned and annoyed, but the heat on Taehyung’s face tells him he’s caught.

He closes himself into a small room off the side of the set, it’s empty other than an overhead light. He sits back against the cold concrete wall and pulls himself together. All he can think about lately is pushing Taehyung up against every single wall they pass. In the dorms, at interviews, in the studio, here on set. It’s becoming a big problem. He’s trying to tame the erection that’s quickly growing in his pants when the door opens and he jumps up.

Taehyung pokes his head into the room and smirks, stepping in and locking the door behind him. He sidles over to where Jungkook is standing, looking a lot more like V than taehyung. Jungkook gulps and clenches his fists, trying with all his might not to tug him in by that harness.

“Kookie, you okay? You seem…distracted.”

“Tae.”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

Taehyung walks towards him until Jungkook is forced to step backwards, back pressing against the wall. He leans forward as if to kiss him, but dodges his lips at the last second and presses his mouth to the sensitive spot below Jungkook’s ear. He nips at his earlobe quickly before whispering to him.

“Be quiet for me okay?”

Before Jungkook can react, Taehyung is down on his knees in front of him and unbuckling his pants. He takes a glance up as he wraps those long fingers around his cock and Jungkook is fairly certain this is what sin looks like. He opens his mouth, taking him down his throat hard and fast. His plush lips run up and down his length, swirling his tongue up and over his head. Jungkook can’t hold in his words.

“Tae. Fuck. How am I supposed to stay quiet?”

There’s no answer other than a twinkle in Taehyung’s eye as he reaches up and adds his hand to the stroke, speeding up and humming against his body. The vibration makes him throw his head back, but he snaps it right back up. He needs to burn Taehyung blowing him in a fucking harness into his memory forever. He starts to shake and can’t hold it anymore, spilling down his throat.

Taehyung swallows every drop, cleaning his cock up completely with his mouth before tugging his underwear and pants back up and buckling them. He leans in and kisses him and Jungkook can taste his own salty flavor on his tongue and it may be the most erotic thing he’s ever experienced.

“Now, can you focus on filming, Jungkook?”

********

Jimin is watching Yoongi film his scene for Fake Love and can’t help but swoon. The curly hair, the piano he sits at, the fire that lights his face. This is the man he loves, this incredible performer. How many people will see this video and lust after him? Millions. Who gets to hold him at night? Who gets to kiss away his tears? Who gets to kiss every inch of his body? Jimin.

He’s so wrapped up in watching that he doesn’t realize that the director is trying to get him attention, sending him to his dressing room to change his costume. He walks to his designated room and sees a single flower in a vase on the vanity. The note is simple:

A flower for my flower.

His face warms and he leans down to smell the perfume rising from the soft petals. He wonders where the staff thinks the flower came from and who it’s meant for. At this moment he really doesn’t care. Yoongi always finds a way to make him feel loved no matter where they are. He finds himself overwhelmed with another wave of gratitude for Namjoon.

He’s the reason all of this is even possible.

********

Two weeks later, Namjoon and Bon-Hwa are in a car on their way to a hotel in the mountains for a getaway. They’re discussing the plan and what evidence to plant for Dae-Hyun. Bon-Hwa has been surprisingly easy to work with on this plan, trusting Namjoon implicitly and willing to do anything to help.

“This is the first big step, Bon-Hwa. You’re positive you’re ready?”

“Bring it on, Namjoon-ah. Fuck our backwards society. Time to fight back. Let’s go over everything.”

“Okay, we check into the hotel. Bang has already lined these dates up for when the hotel’s computer system is down for maintenance so they’re going to book us in and give us receipts on paper instead of digitally. This will allow for ambiguity of exactly how we check-in.”

“Right. Then we snap a photo of the receipt and send it to Dae-Hyun, right? I’m not sure how that will help us, exactly.”

“We’ll be in Room 107, which has two beds, but because it’s handwritten it’ll be easy to misconstrue it as Room 101. Room 101 has one bed in it. Dae-Hyun will spin it to his contact that we took a weekend getaway together and stayed in one bed, a lovers’ retreat. While we’re here we’ll make sure the media photographs us out and about.”

“Are we sure this will work?”

“It has to. We’re almost there, Dae-Hyun arranged for one discreet photographer so we need to get out of the car as if we think we have privacy. Hold my hand when we walk into the building.”

“Alright. Ready.”

The car pulls up to the hotel and they slide the back door open, Namjoon emerging first. Bon-Hwa follows and laces his fingers through his, tugging him forward into the hotel. They walk up to the desk and the clerk winks at him, sliding him a receipt and a room key. The writing is messy, just as planned, and he drops Bon-Hwa’s hand to grab it. A bellhop follows with their luggage and they head up to the room.

The two get settled and changed and then leave the hotel to have a meal and do some shopping, acting like their normal selves with a little added skinship. Namjoon can hear the click of a camera as they make their way through the town. It’s time to sell it.

Namjoon pulls a bucket hat onto Bon-Hwa’s head and gushes over how cute it makes him look.

Click.

Bon-Hwa pulls him into a store by the hand with a grin splitting his face.

Click.

Namjoon feeds Bon-Hwa off his chopsticks at dinner.

Click.

Bon-Hwa back hugs him as they wait in line to take photos of an art display.

Click.

Namjoon smiles to himself as the day progresses. This is going to work out perfectly. Next step: Bon-Hwa backstage at a performance.

********

Taehyung is pacing in Yoongi’s studio, nervous about Namjoon’s weekend away. His hyung has been trying his best to calm him, but he’s starting to feel the heat rise to his face. This is the best place he could be if he’s going to have another panic attack, but tries his best to get it under control.

“I don’t know, hyung. This is so dangerous. Is it worth it?”

“You tell me, Tae. Is Jungkook worth it?”

“Jungkook is worth everything, but I can’t expect other people to put their necks on the line for our love.”

“You didn’t ask for anything. Namjoon wants to do this for us. Jimin and I have come to terms with the fact that we can’t convince him otherwise. We’re just enjoying the freedom and hoping for the best.”

“I can tell you’re trying to be strong for me. Something is off. You’re off.”

“This is about you, Taehyung. Take deep breaths. Sit down on the couch. Pacing isn’t helping anything.”

“No, I’m tired of everyone coddling me. I can help you too.”

“Not now. Please. Sit.”

Taehyung lets out a frustrated sigh and flops onto the couch. He puts his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands, trying to slow his breathing. Yoongi is hiding something from him. Everyone thinks he’s too fragile to handle strife. If anything, he thinks he’s stronger for his struggles, he knows how to push through and come out the other side.

“I just don’t want Namjoon-hyung to end up regretting this.”

“That’s up to him, Tae. He made this choice and is prepared to deal with whatever consequences may come out of it.”

“I have a confession to make.”

“What did you do now, kid?”

“I took a really big risk when we were shooting Fake Love a few weeks ago. Jungkook and I disappeared for a while and..well, you know.”

“Taehyung! That’s beyond reckless. What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know what came over me, he kept lifting his shirt and I was in that damned harness and I lost control.”

“Aish, I definitely understand that feeling. It’s difficult every time.”

Taehyung lifts his head and smiles at Yoongi, seeing the fond look on his face as his eyes disappear. He knows he’s thinking about Jimin and seeing the raw love radiating from him gives Taehyung hope that they can all just be happy. He notices that the conversation has chased his panic back down into the dark place he buries it. Maybe if he comes to Yoongi every time, he can get a handle on his anxiety.

********

After Taehyung leaves Genius Lab, Yoongi lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He likes being able to help the younger man manage his panic attacks, it makes him feel useful. It helps him convince himself that all his time wrestling his own demons had a purpose. The only downside to how close they’ve become over the past year is that Taehyung can read him more and more.

People think Taehyung is very aloof, but he’s sharper than anyone realizes. Like Yoongi, he observes everyone around him and learns their ins and outs before they even notice. He’s been trying hard to keep a strong poker face around everyone, but his own mental health is starting to falter. He wishes he knew why.

This has been his life for years, waves of depression and anxiety creeping up on him when he least expects it. Sure, the situation with Namjoon is nerve-wracking, but everything else is golden. They’re exploding all over the world, he’s producing music for other artists, he has the love of the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. What is wrong with him? Why is he always broken?

It always starts to rear its ugly head with his inability to eat. He starts to feel nauseous around food he loves and he knows he’s in trouble. He first noticed it with the food on the set of Fake Love. He let Jimin hand him a plate, but threw it away when no one was looking. He didn’t sleep that night, or the next night. He sent everyone a very standard Yoongi text about crashing in the studio so he could work. He didn’t get a scrap of work done.

He laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling, brain running a million miles an hour and yet somehow also completely empty. He avoided seeing the sun. He stared blankly at his computer screen, lost. He tried to write lyrics and couldn’t get his pen to touch the paper. He wants nothing more than to disappear, melt into the ground and stay buried. This is the worst possible time for this and it’s filling him with a familiar rage.

They’re building up to dropping an album, performing in America, setting up worldwide concerts. He should be focused and yet his thoughts are like ping-pong balls bouncing around his head. He knows Jimin can tell something is off, but he can’t bring himself to talk about it. He’s afraid of being seen as sick and fragile. Instead he stays in his studio as much as possible and promises to eat.

When he does sleep at the dorm, he falls asleep right away or asks for privacy. They haven’t had sex in weeks, they’re barely ever alone. Their schedule is so hectic that it works in Yoongi’s favor, he can make a million excuses for his behavior, or lack thereof. He can feel the shadow looming behind him everywhere he goes and he doesn’t know how to banish it. Even Jimin’s sunshine isn’t slicing through the dark.

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 11: This Place Where It Was Sparkling And Shining, In It It's Just Silence

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, currently 68k

Chapter Summary:

Wooyoung can feel tears leaking down his nose as he remembers the graciousness San showed in agreeing to let him back into his heart. They’ve spent every free moment since then strengthening their bond and rediscovering each other. Now they’re finally on the right path together, best friends and soulmates always. Yet, Wooyoung doesn’t feel like he’s done nearly enough to make things up to San. He wants to try to find his own way to show him how much he cares.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

A/N: If you happen to be an ARMY or are interested in reading this phase of the story from both sides, this fic will intertwine at different points with The Truth Untold from here forward.

You do not need to know the other perspective to continue on, I just wanted to give you the option!

If you choose to read it, you can start The Truth Untold from the beginning (be warned if you choose this option: it's a beast at 200k words and counting) or from where Hongjoong and Namjoon meet at the end of Chapter 50.

Wooyoung is lying awake in the early hours of the morning watching San’s peacefully sleeping face. They’ve been sleeping in each other’s rooms ever since they got back on the right track and he couldn’t be more grateful. He grimaces every time he thinks about everything he put San through and knows he needs to find a way to make it up to him. The memory of the day he returned home from his break-up with Soomin flashes through his head.

He stomps into the dorm on a rampage. He’s had the entire ride home from the hotel to stew over Soomin’s words and he can feel the anger boiling over. He needs to try to do his best not to unleash it on any of the members, this is no one’s fault but his. Though is it even his fault? So he and San are close, so what? The right person would have understood that.

He manages to get through the living room unscathed, the dorm blessedly empty so far. He knows if he can just get to his bedroom he can take the time he needs to calm down, Yeosang is so attuned to the ins and outs of how he works by now that he’ll read the mood immediately and won’t pry. Unfortunately, when he walks into his room Yeosang is nowhere to be seen and San is sitting on his bed.

San is the worst possible person he could be seeing right now and he can’t help it, he snaps. He throws his things across the room and lets out a wordless cry as he tugs at his hair.

“What the fuck do you want, San? What? What else could you possibly need from me?”

San’s face pales and he’s speechless for a moment before stammering out an answer.

“Wh-what? Wooyoungie is everything okay? I just wanted to hang out, maybe watch a movie or something.”

“Don’t you think we spend enough time together?! Don’t you ever get sick of me?!”

“Of course I don’t. I could never get sick of you. Why are you yelling at me?”

“Because you’ve ruined everything! Everything!”

San’s face crumples as he tries to understand.

“What did I do? What happened?”

“Soomin and I broke up, that’s what happened!”

“Wooyoung, I’m so sorry. But what does that have to do with me?”

“Oh I’m sure you’re sorry, you really liked her, huh? Really made an effort with her? Wanted me to be happy?”

“You being happy is all I’ve ever wanted!”

“Well, too fucking late, San. She was uncomfortable with our friendship, with how close we were. I picked you.”

“I never asked you to do that! I had no idea she felt that way!”

“Of course you didn’t, how could you? You never gave her the time of day!”

“Do you want me to call her? Do you want me to fix it?”

“No, I want you to get the hell out of my face! Go away, San! Just go away!”

“Fine! But there’s no need for you to act like there’s anything wrong with us the way we are, like I’m something she should be uncomfortable with!”

“Don’t you dare turn this around on me!”

It’s then that their yelling has finally attracted attention and Hongjoong bursts into the room to break up the fight. The last thing Wooyoung sees before he’s backed up and forced to sit on his bed is San running out of the room in tears.

Wooyoung relives that night every time he closes his eyes. He hurt the most important person in his world over a bad mood and a relatively mild breakup that he himself chose. He let his emotions run wild and they exploded all over San. The look on his face will haunt Wooyoung endlessly, that raw despair that only comes from a heart breaking. He never wants to see that look on San’s face ever again.

He held onto that misplaced anger for much longer than he’d like to admit to himself, he avoided San for weeks after that. Every time they found themselves alone in a room together by chance he felt ugly emotions surge up within him. At the time he thought it was a cocktail of anger, but he now recognizes it as shame. He knew he was wrong, but couldn’t admit it to himself. He’ll always be grateful that his friends forced it on him.

Wooyoung is sitting on his bed playing a game on his phone when his door is slammed open and he nearly jumps out of his skin. Before he can really comprehend what’s happening he’s hauled into the air by Yunho and carried out into the hallway. Yeosang is standing in the hallway just watching it happen and he shoots him a glare as he’s carted past. Yunho pushes open his own bedroom door and turns the light on and Wooyoung hears San shout something in a half-asleep slur and he’s deposited on the floor before Yunho stomps out of the room and closes them in.

He doesn’t dare try to open the door, unused to this version of Yunho and wary of how he’d react. He stares at his shoes instead and fidgets, embarrassed to be in front of San like this after how he’s been treating him. Leave it to San to be the adult and speak first, of course. Wooyoung is mad that this is another test of his mettle that he’s failed.

“I’m sorry he forced you in here, Wooyoung.”

At the sound of San saying his name without any endearments or nicknames breaks the fragile ice that’s been surrounding his heart since their fight and he goes from awkward composure to wracking sobs in the blink of an eye. He drops to the floor, kneeling and staring down at his hands, unable to get a single word out. He hears San scramble out of his bed and rush over to him, but stop short of touching him and that just makes him even more upset.

“Wooyoung, it’s okay. Don’t cry, I’ll get Yunho to let us out, hold on.”

“N-n-no. W-wait.”

“What is it?”

“I’m s-so s-sorry. I r-ruined ev-everything.”

“It’s okay, you can fix it. Just give her some time.”

“What?! No, Sannie, with you! I don’t care about the breakup with Soomin. I care about how I reacted to it. I was so cruel to you and we were just getting ourselves back on track and you didn’t deserve any of it and I don’t deserve you and I miss you so much and you’re the most important person in the world to me and I’m so scared.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take a deep breath, Young-ah. That was a lot of babble that I only caught half of. What are you scared of?”

“I’m scared that I’ve ruined us for good. That there’s no coming back from this. I know that that’s what I deserve, I deserve to have lost you.”

“Honestly, you really hurt my feelings. You made me feel like I was a problem, like we shouldn’t have the relationship we do. The last few weeks have been really difficult for me.”

“I didn’t mean any of it, San-ah, I promise. I fucked up, I really fucked up.”

Wooyoung is choking on his saliva and snot at this point, knowing he’s an absolutely disgusting mess with his face puffed up and his eyes bloodshot. He reaches his hands up to cover his face and jerks in surprise when he feels hand softly encircle his wrists and pull them back down. San places his hands back on his lap and releases his wrists, pulling his own sleeves over his hands and wiping Wooyoung’s face clean.

“Listen to me. It’s not going to go back to normal right away, this is going to take some time and some work to get over, but you haven’t ruined us for good. Amicus Ad Aras, remember?”

Wooyoung can feel tears leaking down his nose as he remembers the graciousness San showed in agreeing to let him back into his heart. They’ve spent every free moment since then strengthening their bond and rediscovering each other. Now they’re finally on the right path together, best friends and soulmates always. Yet, Wooyoung doesn’t feel like he’s done nearly enough to make things up to San. He wants to try to find his own way to show him how much he cares.

He extracts himself from San’s arms and tries his best not to wake him. He reaches into the pile of clothes on the floor for his phone, using the dim light to make his way across the room without tripping. He kneels in front of Yeosang’s bed and softly nudges his shoulder until he wakes up with an annoyed groan that Wooyoung has to quickly shush.

“Shh, Yeosangie, San is still asleep. I need your help with something.”

*********

Hongjoong really wanted to wait longer to use Kim Namjoon’s phone number, but he has found himself holed up in his studio tearing his hair out every day since the MAMAs and thinks maybe it’s time to buckle. He worries it was an empty offer, but tries to shake the doubt off as he pulls up the contact. A member of a group that prolific wouldn’t have exchanged numbers with him on a whim, right? The phone rings and Hongjoong squeezes it in a death grip.

“Hello?”

“RM-sunbaenim! This is Hongjoong, from ATEEZ? You gave me your number at the MAMAs.”

“Of course, hi! Please don’t feel so formal, you can use Namjoon-hyung!”

“Really? Wow, thank you! Um, is there any chance you’re free to talk right now?”

“Absolutely, what can I do for you Hongjoong-ssi?”

“I know you do a lot of the writing for your group and I was wondering if you have any advice on how to juggle that and being the leader on top of everything it takes just to be an idol in the first place. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels.”

“What do you think you’re having the most trouble with?”

“Right now? Songwriting honestly. We have another mini-album coming out in a week or two, but they already want me to start prepping for the release after that one and I don’t know how they expect me to ever have a second to breathe.”

“Would you be open to some feedback on your work? What if you came to my studio sometime this week and we worked on some pieces together? Maybe I can be of some use.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take up your time, I’m sure your schedules are even crazier than ours.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve been wanting to mentor someone and from what I’ve seen you’re already impressive in your own right.”

Hongjoong doesn’t even know how to respond to that and sputters into the phone before he chokes out a sentence.

“Thank you so much Namjoon-hyung. What about the day after tomorrow?”

“Sure, I’ve put you on the schedule! Can I offer you one piece of advice now?”

“Absolutely!”

“Find your person. Find the group member who you can let loose in front of, who you don’t have to be ‘the leader’ with all the time. Lean on them. I know it’s difficult to let yourself be vulnerable, but it’s vital.”

“Thank you, I know exactly who that person is.”

They say their goodbyes and hang up the phone, Hongjoong in awe at how well the phone call went. He’s a bundle of nerves thinking about meeting with Namjoon so soon to work on music of all things. He knows he has to buckle down and spend the rest of the night picking out just the right files to show him, but first he sends a text to Seonghwa asking if he wants to bring takeout to the studio and have dinner together.

********

Yunho is sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when someone plops down next to him and shakes his arm. He almost spills his food and looks over at Yeosang incredulously, wondering what he could need this urgently first thing in the morning. His hair is all over the place and he hasn’t even seemed to rub the sleep from his eyes yet.

“Yunho, hurry up and eat! I need to talk to you and it has to be somewhere more private!”

“Sang-ah, chill. We’re the last two to start our day.”

“We are? I know Wooyoung and San were gone when I woke up, but I didn’t think I’d slept that late.”

“Almost everyone else woke up uncharacteristically early, it’s not us. Now what on earth is going on?”

“Wooyoung woke me up at the ass-crack of dawn and dragged me out of bed to talk to me about a gesture he wants to make for San.”

“What kind of gesture?”

“I don’t know! He was talking a mile a minute, all I could really gather was that he felt guilty for everything he put San through and he wants to make it up to him.”

“I thought they were on much better terms now, working through things. That’s what San has been saying.”

“They are! They have! I guess Wooyoung doesn’t think he’s done enough.”

“I mean, I’m inclined to agree, but I think that’s just because we have information that he doesn’t.”

“He couldn’t come up with anything before I forced him to go back to bed, but I just woke up with a text from him from an hour ago asking me to find all the songs I can that are about ‘platonic soulmates’ and make him a list.”

“Songs? Do you think he wants to sing to him?”

“That was my first thought, but knowing Wooyoung that’s not it. I just don’t know what it could be. He wouldn’t be having me make a playlist, he’d never use this chance with San to have me do all the work. He’d want to be involved. I’ve never seen him so frantic, Yunho.”

“How many songs could even be out there about platonic soulmates?”

“Probably not many. Soulmate doesn’t tend to be a word that means anything platonic outside of Korea.”

“Do you think…do you think it’s possible that Wooyoung may have realized that Soomin had a point? Do you think he feels something more for San?”

“I don’t know. I know that San’s feelings weren’t a total shock, but he watches Wooyoung differently than Wooyoung watches him. All I know is I need your help finding these songs. I’m worried I’m going to pick some that sound too romantic and I don’t want whatever this is to somehow hurt San or give him the wrong idea.”

“Alright, alright. Let me finish my food and we can go to the PC room.”

********

Seonghwa watches Hongjoong walk out of the dorm to head to his meeting with Kim Namjoon and feels a lot of mixed emotions. Something about meeting Namjoon at the MAMAs had pushed Hongjoong to open himself back up again and he’s beyond grateful for that. They’ve been slowly reconnecting since and it’s finally starting to feel normal again. At the same time, Seonghwa doesn’t know if there’s something that Namjoon can offer Hongjoong that he can’t.

All he’d said on his way out the door was that he’d been frazzled lately and Namjoon had offered to help. What if this is another way to separate himself from Seonghwa? He tries to tell himself that he’s just overthinking. Just two nights ago Hongjoong had invited him to his studio to have dinner together. They’d talked and laughed and he’d basked in the familiar ease of their friendship, happy to be getting his Joongie back. Ever since then though, all he’d talked about was Namjoon. How amazing he is, what a prolific songwriter he is, how much he looks up to him, how lucky he is to be given the time of day by someone like him. Wooyoung had practically been hanging on every word drooling.

Seonghwa shakes himself out of it and sets to making lunch for the few members left in the dorm who don’t have something on their schedule today. He doesn’t like this level of jealousy, it’s an ugly emotion and he doesn’t want to taint Hongjoong’s turnaround with it. He sets out the ingredients and starts mixing everything together when Yeosang rounds the corner and hops up onto one of the barstools at the counter.

“Mmmm! Whatcha makin’, hyung?”

“If you’re patient, you’ll find out. Nosy. What are you doing with your free time today, Yeosang-ah?”

“Just helping Wooyoungie with something.”

“Isn’t he at a rehearsal?”

“Yeah, but he needed me to help him research something and I have nothing else to do while I lay around today, so why not?”

“Well that’s nice of you, you two really are lucky to have each other.”

Their conversation is interrupted by San meandering into the room and Seonghwa notices Yeosang sitting up straighter, wondering what caught his attention.

“Hey Sannie, need anything while you wait for lunch?”

“Wait?! How long?! Hyung, I’m starving, I might wither away and die right here.”

“You’re so dramatic. There’s instant ramen in the cabinet, I’ll make some in the meantime. Yeosang, do you want some too?”

Seonghwa looks over to Yeosang to find him darting his eyes back and forth between him and San like he’s trying to read a map. He doesn’t answer right away and Seonghwa heaves a sigh and rolls his eyes, reaching into the cabinet for two packs of ramen. He knows that Yeosang will want some once he sees San eating. He shoos San over to the barstools to sit and he and Yeosang start playing some sort of hand game that he can’t follow as he turns back to the stove.

Time passes easily, Seonghwa hands the ramen over to the two boys and makes sure they wash their own dishes when they’re done. Once they’ve cleaned up after themselves they head to the living room where he hears the television turn on. Cooking calms him in a way that usually only cleaning accomplishes, he can lose himself in the tasks today and not dwell on what Hongjoong and Namjoon are talking about over at BigHit right now. Once lunch is ready he sends Yeosang down the hall to fetch Jongho while he tasks San with setting the table. While he brings the food back and forth and San grabs chopsticks, he finds himself talking almost mindlessly.

“San-ah, what do you think Hongjoong and RM-sunbaenim are doing at his studio?”

“Hwa, you can’t be serious.”

“No, not like that! I just mean…what do you think he can help him with that I can’t?”

“You’re overthinking this. You know that they’re both leaders without being the eldest member and they both have a major hand in the songwriting. There are just some things they can relate on that you don’t have experience with. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I know, you’re right. He just finally started coming back to me just to immediately start gushing about making a connection with someone who is so much cooler than I will ever be.”

“You are so much more than ‘cool’ and you know that.”

San takes the last bowl of food from his hands and wraps him in a hug, tucking his chin onto his shoulder and Seonghwa relaxes a bit. San really can help stop the spiral in his mind more often than not. He lets himself luxuriate in it for a minute, holding on tight and grounding his fingers in the younger man’s hair. He stiffens when he hears a small throat clear behind him and sees Yeosang and Jongho looking at them with odd looks on their faces.

“Everything okay, hyung?”

“Of course, Yeosangie. I just wanted a hug. Come on guys, bring it in!”

Yeosang shoots him a skeptical look, but gallops over and tucks himself in the space that opens up between Seonghwa and San. Jongho just shakes his head with a chuckle and sits himself down at the table, serving himself some food and taking a big bite while they all fake-beg him to come join the group hug.

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 22: Please Call My Name One More Time

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 200k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

Namjoon gives him a sad smile and leaves the room, leaving Jungkook to wonder what their leader has up his sleeve. Sometimes it feels like he goes too far to fulfill his role, sticking his neck out for everyone else despite the consequences. Jungkook doesn’t have much time to dwell on it, though. He hears his name mumbled and whips his head to the right. Taehyung’s eyes are blinking fast and focused on him. He expected them to be full of confusion or fear, but all he can see is love. He bursts into tears and grips his hand harder, pressing his forehead to the warming skin.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Every beep of the hospital machines feels like a hot knife through Jungkook’s heart. Taehyung looks so pale and small tucked into the bed, head wrapped in gauze. Jungkook hasn’t left the side of his bed since they arrived and he’s only stirred now and then, never coming completely to the surface. Their eyes meet each time, but Taehyung’s stay unfocused before they flutter closed again. The doctor has reassured him that he’s going to be fine, he has a concussion and needed two stitches in his head but should be able to go home in the morning. At this point, it’s almost time for the sun to rise. It feels like they’ve been here for days.

Somehow, the doctor’s words really don’t make Jungkook feel better. He knows this entire thing is his fault. If he’d never kissed Taehyung at Home Party, there’d have been nothing to hide and nothing to uncover. He’s known about Taehyung’s history with panic attacks since debut and he should have realized that starting something like this would only make him anxious. He’s been selfish at every turn, but he can’t ever imagine leaving his side. He sees a pen on the nightstand and picks up, drawing a stylized heart on the back of Tae’s hand. The skin is cold to the touch and a tear falls from his face, smudging the ink.

The others filter in one-by-one every so often, taking turns checking in and making sure Jungkook is eating. No one has left the hospital since they arrived. It doesn’t matter that Taehyung will ultimately be okay, they’re going home together or not at all.There’s a soft knock at the door and Namjoon pokes his head in. Jungkook tries his best to give him a smile, but it wavers at the edges.

“How are you holding up, Kook-ah?”

“I just can’t believe I did this to us.”

“What do you mean? You did nothing wrong.”

“If I’d never kissed him. If I’d never gotten us in trouble with Bang. If I’d-”

“No. Jungkook, stop. Dae-Hyun would have been sent to us either way, no one saw that video except Bang. If you’d never taken a chance on Tae, all that would have meant is you would have lost an amazing opportunity and he’d have solely focused on Jimin and Yoongi-hyung.”

“I guess, but I could have kept us from getting back together after the ban was lifted. I could have kept Tae from feeling all this stress. We might’ve been unhappy, but he wouldn’t be constantly gripped with fear.”

“You need to get your shit together. This pity party needs to end now. When Taehyung wakes up, do you think what’s best for him is to hear you doubt loving him?”

“No! I don’t doubt loving him! I will never doubt loving him. I’m just so scared, hyung.”

“I know you are, Jungkookie. That’s why I have an idea. I’m not going to wait around for whatever long game Bang spoke to Dae-Hyun about. I’m the leader here and I’m going to fix all of this.”

“What do you mean? What’s your plan?”

“I need you to trust me. I need to discuss it with Bang and Dae-Hyun first and if they agree to it, I’ll tell you all about it then. I’ll need someone else on board, but I’ll worry about that if you’re all okay with it first. Would you be upset with me if I head back to the dorm to change? I’m meeting them at the offices in two hours.”

“Of course, hyung. Thank you for taking care of us. Tae is going to be okay.”

“Tell yourself that, Kookie. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Namjoon gives him a sad smile and leaves the room, leaving Jungkook to wonder what their leader has up his sleeve. Sometimes it feels like he goes too far to fulfill his role, sticking his neck out for everyone else despite the consequences. Jungkook doesn’t have much time to dwell on it, though. He hears his name mumbled and whips his head to the right. Taehyung’s eyes are blinking fast and focused on him. He expected them to be full of confusion or fear, but all he can see is love. He bursts into tears and grips his hand harder, pressing his forehead to the warming skin.

“It’s okay, my love. I’m okay. Please don’t cry.”

********

Namjoon is sitting at a small table in a conference room of BigHit with the CEO and Dae-Hyun. Dae-Hyun looks like he wants to vomit, probably unsure of why he’s being called in yet again. Namjoon isn’t sure how everyone is going to react to this plan of his, but he’s not going to take a chance on a plan that he isn’t even allowed to be privy to. This is his family at stake and he’ll go as far as he needs to to protect them.

“Alright Namjoon, you called us here, what’s this all about? I thought we covered everything and made it clear that it will be unhelpful if we involve you in the details of the plan.”

“You did, PD-nim, but forgive me for what I’m about to say. I’m not comfortable with what you’ve laid out. I understand if your plan will not work with my involvement, I trust you on that. However, I think I’ve come up with a plan of my own and I want to run it by you both before I enact it.”

“You speak as if enacting it is an inevitability. It is not. I have final say here.”

“Forgive me again, but I’m going to try this with or without your approval. If that makes contract negotiations contentious, so be it. I can’t risk my team. Taehyung is currently in the hospital with a concussion after he had a panic attack about all of this and hit his head. I’m not putting them through this any longer. They trust me, they know I can fix this.”

“I have my doubts, but let’s hear this plan of yours first.”

“I’d like to enlist a trusted friend of mine to take some planned trips and outings with me over the next few months leading up to the album release. With the group’s approval, I will bring him in on the situation so that he knows what he’s getting himself into. I want Dae-Hyun to go to his contact and leak that my friend and I are the couple in question.”

“How on earth is that going to help anything?”

“Hear me out. We let ourselves be photographed and filmed. Once there is enough ‘evidence’, it will be put into the press and we can sue whoever breaks the story first for slander. No matter how much it’s investigated, there will be no proof beyond some outings with a childhood friend. Does this line up with your plan at all?”

“A bit, yes. Dae-Hyun disclosed to me that since he hasn’t been reporting any information, the contact tried to sweeten the deal. The company in question will offer him a highly-paid position there once the story officially breaks, considering that a fulfillment of their deal. He will then turn all the evidence of their meetings with the name of the company to me and we will work on jailing whoever had a hand in this for blackmail. That would effectively discredit any future leaks or suspicion about a BTS couple.”

“That’s perfect then. Dae-Hyun, would you be on board for this plan?”

“Absolutely, Namjoon-ssi. I will do whatever it takes to fix this for all of you.”

“Thank you. PD-nim? Thoughts?”

“I have to admit that it’s a great idea, Namjoon. However, I’m a bit worried about you in all this. Are you prepared for the hit this could mean to your own reputation? Even if it’s only temporary and we clear your name, this stuff follows you. There will always be people who speculate that we just did a great job of covering up the truth.”

“I’m more than prepared. I will do anything for my family. Anyone who knows me personally will know that the story is false, that’s all that matters to me. Screw everyone else.”

********

Jimin is in Yoongi’s bed letting the elder hold him as he cries. Everyone returned home with Taehyung earlier that morning and the relief at his soulmate’s safety is overwhelming. Jungkook gave the two some time to rest together before he took over and Jimin is grateful. Jin took Jimin’s bed for the night so Jimin could stay in with Yoongi. He needed more than anything to not be alone. Everyone has collapsed at this point, exhausted from pulling an all-nighter full of fear.

Jimin knows that he should be asleep too, he’s just not ready yet. He’s curled into his chest and inhaling the safe scent of home. They don’t have to say a word, he just needs strength and love. Namjoon had texted them all to meet for yet another family meeting later, though no one has any idea what this one is about. He tried to insist that Taehyung needs more time to rest before being faced with anything else, but Tae had been stubborn and insisted he was fine now.

Jimin supposes he is okay, he has a clean bill of health from the doctor and is certainly acting normal. He was cleared to take a short nap, but Jungkook is going to be sure to wake him up. They shouldn’t baby him, but Jimin was so scared seeing the way he went down. Yoongi had tried to get him to breathe the way he does for his attacks, but Tae seemed too far gone. Watching him slump to the floor was bad enough, but Jimin will never forget the sound his head made when it hit the counter.

He tries to think about anything else and looks up from Yoongi’s chest, seeing the other man’s eyelids droop closed. He doesn’t have it in him to keep him awake any longer and focuses on his soft, even breaths. He starts to find the rhythm calming and feels himself drifting off.

After what seems like just a few minutes, the alarm on his phone starts to ring and Yoongi groans next to him and tries to hide underneath the comforter. It’s incredibly endearing. Jimin giggles and shuts off the alarm, climbing under the blanket to find him.

“Mmph. No. Go away.”

“Come, my most adorable hyung. We have to go meet the guys. Namjoon’s orders.”

“Most adorable? Go find Hobi.”

“Nope! You! You, you, you!”

He peppers kisses all over Yoongi’s face and laughs at the resulting grumbles. He throws the blanket off of them and flips on the light, jumping up and down on the bed to really rub salt in the wound. Hands grab him around the calves and he falls down to the bed, tackled into immobility. Yoongi plants a kiss on his lips and then moves his face over to his ear.

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t done that.”

A shiver runs down Jimin’s body and his lips part, leaning up for another kiss but only hits empty air. Yoongi has already left the bed and is pulling on his sweats, winking as he walks out the door. Jimin jumps up to follow him, pouncing on his back as he heads down the hall.

“Yah! Jimin-ah!”

“Carry me!”

He laughs as Yoongi shakes his head and does his best to cart him down the hallway, dropping him right before they enter the living room. Everyone is there except Namjoon and seems to be trying to figure out what they could need to talk about. Jimin makes a beeline for Taehyung, who looks tired but has his color back. The others have left an open space next to him and it means the world. Jimin and Yoongi get settled into seats when the front door opens and Namjoon walks in. He has a smile on his face, which makes the entire room perk up. Maybe for once the news will be good instead of bad. They can’t handle more bad things right now.

“Hey guys. Thanks for meeting me again. I met with Bang and Dae-Hyun again this morning and we all have something to discuss.”

“Oh god, what is it now? Can’t you see that Taehyung needs a break from all of this? Is this why you left the hospital?”

“Jiminie. I wouldn’t have brought this to you all if it wasn’t important. It’s not bad news. The original plan that was concocted without our input is scrapped. I brought a new plan to Bang this morning and I’m going to be executing it with Dae-Hyun. There’s just one part I need everyone’s permission on.”

“Sorry, hyung. It was a long night for us all.”

“I understand. No harm done. Basically, I didn’t have faith in a plan that we didn’t even get to hear. We’re all a mess over this whole thing and I’m taking matters into my own hands. I’m going to enlist a friend to meet me for some meals and some vacations over the next few months and I’m going to have Dae-Hyun leak us as the secret BTS couple. What I’m looking for approval on is bringing my friend into the fold on the situation. Jin-hyung knows him and can vouch for him.”

“Yong Bon-Hwa? Namjoon, how could you ask him to put himself on the line like this? How could you put yourself on the line like this? How is this any better for anyone?”

The room erupts into overlapping arguments.

“Absolutely not.”

“Hyung, what the fuck?”

“This is insane and ridiculous.”

“We love you for wanting to do this, but we can’t let you.”

“That’s enough. I am not asking permission to go forward with the plan, I am asking for approval of the person involved. I’ve given this a lot of thought and it’s airtight. Bon-Hwa would be more than happy to help, I’ve known him my entire life. We will leave the kind of evidence that our blackmailer and the news outlets will drool over, but once it’s all released we will be able to show the holes in their logic. We can sue the media for slander and the blackmailer could face jail time. It’ll discredit any attempted leaks in the future. You’ll all be safe.”

Jimin starts to see the leader’s point. As long as they plan the “evidence” meticulously, this will work. He has no issue with Namjoon picking the friend in question, he trusts his judgment. He can only think of one snag.

“Hyung, how does this lead to the blackmailer?”

“Dae-Hyun was approached by his contact and told if he can find enough evidence to bring to the media, he’ll be hired at the company. The day the scandal hits the public, we’ll have the culprit.”

“I say go for it, then.”

The entire group swivels their heads to stare at him incredulously. Jungkook and Taehyung look angrier than the rest. Yoongi seems surprised but nods at him.

“What are you all looking at? Don’t disrespect Namjoon’s sacrifice for us. He would have never brought this to the company if he wasn’t positive about it. Have some faith. Do I want him to put himself at risk? Of course not. Do I trust him? Absolutely. Kookie, Taetae, I know you probably feel guilty. I do too. The four of us started all of this. We shouldn’t, though. What have we done wrong here? Fallen in love?”

Yoongi smiles at him from across the room and it’s as if the room gets warmer. He stands up and comes over, crouching down in front of the couch. He takes Jimin’s face in his hands and kisses him softly on the lips as he runs his thumbs over his cheeks.

“Jimin is right. Let Namjoon try.”

Slowly, everyone in the room nods along and voices their assent, even though some look less than convinced. They discuss the particulars and the timeline, nothing will be convincing if the information is given all at once. It’s a plan that will take time, falling into place piece by piece over the months leading up to the release of Love Yourself: Tear. Namjoon leaves the room to call Bon-Hwa and the rest disperse.

********

Taehyung lets Jungkook walk him back to bed despite not really needing it. He appreciated all the fretting at first, but is starting to feel a little suffocated. He feels fine other than having a headache and everyone is treating him like he’s made of glass. He’s embarrassed that he let his panic spiral out of control and that he had everyone so worried.

“Kook-ah. I’m fine.”

“Lay down. Can I get you some water? How about food, can I order some takeout? Your feet must be freezing without socks, hang on.”

“Jungkook! Come here. Stop.”

He sees Jungkook’s frazzled face turn pink and he comes to sit on the edge of the bed, much too far away. He sighs and scoots himself closer to his anxious boyfriend.

“No, don’t move, what are you doing?!”

“Kook. Deep breaths. It was just a fall. I was given the all-clear by the doctor. You’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off for nothing. You won’t even sit near me!”

“I just don’t want to hurt you or overwhelm you.”

“I know and I love you for that, but what I really need right now is some normalcy. Come here, please.”

Taehyung backs himself up until his back is up against the headboard and opens his arms. Jungkook hesitates for a second before begrudgingly moving his way up the bed and laying his head on his chest. It’s a start, at least.

“So Tae, what do you think of Namjoon’s plan?”

“I think Jimin is right, we need to trust him. It upset me at first, I didn’t want him sticking his neck out like that, but who am I to tell him what to do? He’s our hyung, he’ll do the right thing.”

********

Yoongi takes a look at what’s laid out in front of him and feels himself salivate. The second they closed his door behind them, Yoongi had ordered Jimin out of his clothes and made him lay down on the bed and wait. It’s been fifteen minutes and Yoongi has done nothing but sit in his desk chair watching Jimin twitch and squirm. His body is blushed pink from being laid bare.

“Hyung, please. Touch me.”

“I suppose you’ve waited long enough.”

Yoongi stands and strips in front of Jimin slowly, watching his eyes widen at each newly revealed piece of skin. He doubts he’ll ever tire of being looked at like this, like he’s an awe-inspiring gift. He’s never thought of himself as particularly sexy, but Jimin makes him feel like he could seduce the world.

“Can I trust you to keep your hands above your head or do I need to tie them?”

“I’ll keep them up, I promise!”

Yoongi chuckles under his breath at the desperation in the other man’s voice. This is exactly what he had in mind, Jimin entirely at his mercy. He climbs onto the bed, leaning over to lick a stripe across his mouth without letting it become a kiss. The resulting whine makes his already-hard cock twitch. He starts his journey down Jimin’s body, never pressing his lips to the skin. His tongue draws shapes and writes messages against the soft expanse of honey and traces over the inked words along his ribs. He gets to Jimin’s already leaking cock and skips right over it, lifting his knees up.

“You can move your hands. Hold.”

“H-hyung?”

“Do as I say.”

Jimin’s hands come down and circle around his thighs, pulling them towards his chest. Yongi leans forwards and blows a puff of air between his cheeks before spreading them open with his hands. He brings his face forward and Jimin starts to drop his legs and protest in embarrassment at something so intimate. Yoongi lifts his head and leaves a sharp bite on the inside of Jimin’s thigh until he yelps and grabs his legs again.

“Don’t you dare do that again, Jimin. I’m warning you now.”

Yoongi refocuses and brings his tongue down to lick one swift stripe from Jimin’s hole to his balls and smiles at the groan it elicits. He licks back and forth until he can feel the tremors running through his legs when he stiffens his tongue and slips it past the first ring of muscle inside Jimin’s ass. He starts to bring it in and out slowly, savoring the taste of the only part he’s never had on his tongue.

“Daddy, fuck. Don’t stop. That feels so good. I can barely hold onto my legs.”

“Let them go, flower. Hands back above your head.”

He dives back in until he has Jimin writhing above him and whimpering when he pulls away. He sits up on his knees and reaches forward to the nightstand for the bottle of lube. After slicking his fingers, Yoongi slides two into Jimin at the same time, his prep work already half done for him. He makes quick work of stretching him the rest of the way and then stops, leaving him empty.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“Are you questioning Daddy, Jimin-ah? That doesn’t seem like a very wise move.”

“No-no-no, I promise I wasn’t.”

“Hmm, seems to me like you were. I wonder when that will come back to bite you in the ass.”

A pleasing hint of fear crosses Jimin’s face before it’s wiped out by Yoongi slamming into him in one fell swoop. His face contorts into the prettiest expression as he practically sings a high note. He’s pushing himself down onto his cock as Yoongi thrusts up to meet him.

The poor thing must have been so worked up by just my staring from the chair.

“There you go. What a good boy, Jiminie. So pretty for Daddy. So sexy.”

Jimin only whimpers in response, unable to form words properly. Yoongi loves seeing him like this, completely lost in the pleasure. He decides he deserves a little reward and strokes his praise kink a bit more before giving him more instructions as he starts to fuck into him harder.

“God, I could spend forever inside your perfect ass. It’s so tight and so hungry for my cock. It’s like it was made for me. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

“O-only beautiful for you, hyung.”

“Beautiful for everyone, Jimin-ah. But only mine. Now, you can move your hands. Use one to stroke your cock, but don’t cum until I tell you to.”

Jimin’s hands lower and one wraps around Yoongi’s ass while the other circles his clearly neglected cock. The most erotic sigh leaves his lips as he starts to stroke himself slowly, determined to follow instructions and not cum. The view alone brings Yoongi close to the edge and he grits his teeth as he fights not to lose his rhythm. He sees Jimin’s hand speed up and smirks, knowing what’s coming.

“D-Daddy, can I cum? Please?”

“Already? Tsk, tsk. That didn’t take very long, did it?”

“Please. Please. I can’t hold it.”

“Sure you can, I’m going to count you down.”

“Oh god, no.”

“10…”

“Agh.”

“9…”

“Mmph.”

“8…”

“God. Please.”

“7…”

“Count faster!” “Well you know that’s only going to slow me down. Silly.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“6…”

“Daddy!”

“5…”

“Hyung!”

“4…”

“Yoongi!”

“3…”

“PLEASE.

“2…”

“I can’t hold it anymore. I’m sorry, I just can’t!”

“Yes you can, and you will.”

Yoongi pauses, drawing Jimin out until he can feel his own release growing. His hips start to stutter as he utters out the last number.

“1…”

“Now?!”

“Now, my love. Let go.”

Jimin screams as more and more cum spurts from the purple head of his cock, Yoongi filling him at the same time. The clenching of muscles around his own cock makes his orgasm seem never ending as he empties more and more inside of Jimin. They’re both gasping for air as he slowly slides himself out. He grabs the wipes in his nightstand drawer before cleaning them both off, then collapses on top of Jimin’s sweat-slicked body.

“How are you feeling, Jimin-ah? I know I was rough before you were completely prepped.”

“Are you kidding? That was mind-blowing. But that goddamned counting…”

“That’s what you get for being a bad little sub, love.”

Jimin rolls his eyes and turns onto his side, bringing Yoongi with him. He wraps the younger man in his arms and slowly strokes his hand up and down his spine. His heart swells with fondness and he counts his blessings again that Park Jimin was brought into his life.

“Jimin, I know what you should name your song.”

“What, Yoongi?”

“Serendipity.”

********

Jin and Hobi have stopped playing their video game and are staring at each other in horror. The silence is broken when Hobi bursts into hysterical laughter and falls onto his back on the floor. Jin doesn’t find it quite so amusing.

“Yah! I just wanted to play some games during our sleepover! Daddy, Hyung, Yoongi?! What are all these jerks trying to do to me? I’ll never get all these sounds out of my head. No one respects their elders anymore! No one has any regard for my comfort! These kinky little shits are going to be the death of me! I’m going for a walk!”

He storms from the room leaving a red-faced Hobi on the floor, his laughter ringing through the halls.

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 21: A Sound Of Something Breaking

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 200k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

Jungkook feels like there is an elephant sitting on his chest. He hears Taehyung come into the room and close the door, but he can’t bring himself to look up. If last night’s gesture didn’t work, nothing is going to. Tae might be leaving him after all. He doesn’t know how to look him in the eye and watch him shatter his heart. He spent all night picturing every single way it could happen.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

The next day Jimin wakes up and tries to stretch when he realizes his arms are pinned down. He turns his head and smiles when he sees Taehyung’s floppy hair covering his face. He’s missed waking up with his soulmate, he makes a note to do it more often. He just wishes this occasion had been for better reasons. He’d heard Jungkook singing outside of Tae’s door and had gone down the hall to investigate while he waited for Yoongi to return. The maknae had been in tears and Tae’s door never opened.

He’d hugged Kookie and walked him back to his room to tuck him into bed as he cried. He was getting ready for bed with him when Jungkook had told him to go to Tae instead, caring more about his well-being. He’d been reluctant to leave, but Jungkook had said he wanted Yoongi instead. Jimin had sent a text telling Yoongi to head there as soon as he could and then walked back down the hall to Tae’s room. He knocked and made sure he knew he was alone and was granted entry.

Taehyung was sitting on the floor directly in front of the door, clearly sitting listening to Jungkook, but he was clutching a piece of paper in his hand. Jimin softly pried it from his fingers and read it, stomach clenching for Jungkook. Taehyung hadn’t wanted to talk about it and asked Jimin to take him to bed. They should have talked, but he respected his friend’s wishes and tucked them into bed together and let Tae cry himself to sleep. Now that it’s morning, he needs to make sure they discuss everything. He pries the arm from around his chest and turns on his side, softly stroking Taehyung’s hair.

“Taetae. Wake up, lovey. It’s morning.”

“Mmph.”

“Tae, come on. You can do it. Open those pretty eyes.”

“Jiminieeeee, let me sleep.”

“No, I’m sorry, but we need to talk. I know it’s hard. I know you don’t want to. It’s important.”

“Urgh. Fine. What?”

“What do you mean what?! Jungkookie serenaded you last night and slipped a love note under your door and you left him out in the hall! Is that the first time he told you he loves you?”

“Yes and no. He said it once a little while ago, but it was coupled with an orgasm and that just happens sometimes so I decided to let it go until he was ready to say it for real.”

“Well. He said it for real! What are you going to do about it? I know you love him, you’ve loved him for as long as I’ve loved Yoongi, if not longer. You have no idea how incredible it was to finally hear it back, I never thought he’d even look at me as more let alone fall in love with me. Haven’t you always dreamed of this?”

“Of course I have, Minnie. I just didn’t expect to be terrified when it finally happened. It came on the heels of Dae-Hyun pulling the sky down around us, what if it was just panic? It came on the heels of our first real fight where I asked him for space, what if it was just a tactic for forgiveness? I want him to tell me he loves me just because he wants to, just because he can’t hold it in anymore.”

“Tae, I’m going to give you one of Yoongi’s favorite pieces of advice: Fairytales aren’t real. You guys have gone through so much in such a short period of time. You still love each other at the end of it. Isn’t that just another version of a fairytale? All of this would’ve broken most couples.”

“I guess. He lied to me, Jimin. He hid that note from me and decided for me whether I could handle it. I feel betrayed and coddled.”

“I understand that for sure, you both need to discuss that and set boundaries for communication. Kook has never been in a relationship that is so serious, cut him some slack. He’s still learning.”

“Did you see him last night? Is he okay?”

“I won’t lie to you, he’s not doing great. I tucked him into bed and he asked for Yoongi so I know he was well taken care of.”

“I’ll go talk to him. Then I think we all need to get together and talk again. Maybe everyone has processed last night by now and we can come up with a plan.”

“Okay, up! I’ll come with you so I can extricate Yoongi.”

“You think he slept with Kookie?! Yoongi-hyung never wants to snuggle with us.”

“He’s softening and he has a warm spot for both of you. I have a feeling he stayed there overnight.”

The two roll themselves out of Taehyung’s bed, only now remembering to check for Namjoon and not being surprised when they see that his bed wasn’t slept in. He must have bunked with someone else so that they could have time together. Their leader always seems to know what everyone needs, but really should put himself first more often.

As they get dressed, Jimin starts to feel anxious about seeing Yoongi. He’s nervous about what happened after he dragged Dae-Hyun out of the dorm. He didn’t want to talk about it in texts while they were trying to help the maknaes, but it had kept him up most of the night. He hopes that his boyfriend didn’t do anything stupid.

They hold hands as they walk down the hall, Taehyung stopping every so often to take a deep breath. Jimin tugs him forward, knowing that he just needs to rip the bandaid off. He reaches up and knocks on Jungkook’s door and there’s no answer. He knocks louder and hears a scrambling like it woke someone up. The door opens a crack and he can’t help but smile when he sees Yoongi’s sleepy and grumpy face.

“Good morning, hyung. Can we come in?”

“I don’t know, Minnie. Jungkook is in rough shape. He barely slept.”

“We’re here to fix that, Tae wants to talk to him.”

“Hold on.”

Yoongi closes the door on them and Taehyung hangs his head.

“He’s hurting because of me.”

“No fairytales, remember?”

The door opens again to Yoongi carrying his shoes and sweatshirt, stepping back to clear the doorway. Jimin can see Jungkook sitting up on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands in his lap. He feels a pang in his heart for his best friend, but he knows everything is going to turn out okay.

“Tae, go on in. He wants to talk alone. Jimin and I will leave you guys to it.”

“Hyung, I’m scared.”

“I know you are, kid. It’ll be alright. Love is worth the struggle.”

Taehyung walks into Jungkook’s room, closing the door behind him. Jimin smiles at Yoongi and leans in to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course, let’s go sit in the kitchen. I need coffee.”

********

Jungkook feels like there is an elephant sitting on his chest. He hears Taehyung come into the room and close the door, but he can’t bring himself to look up. If last night’s gesture didn’t work, nothing is going to. Tae might be leaving him after all. He doesn’t know how to look him in the eye and watch him shatter his heart. He spent all night picturing every single way it could happen.

Thank god for Yoongi, he was uncharacteristically snuggly, holding Jungkook as he sobbed and whispering reassurances in his ear. Being with Jimin is making his hyung a more affectionate person and he loves to see it. He even checked before letting Taehyung into the room and it made Jungkook feel good to have that support.

“Kookie? Can I sit?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you look at me, please?”

“No.”

Jungkook is already on the edge of tears. If he looks at Taehyung, he’ll lose his composure. He’s already trembling at the feel of their thighs pressed against each other and is so scared.

“Jungkook. I’m so sorry about last night. I should have let you in. I was sitting right on the other side of the door, pressed up against it listening to your voice. It hurt in the best way. I think I just panicked after everything with Dae-Hyun and it was all too much for one day. I shouldn’t have shut you out.”

“No, Tae, I’m sorry. I never should have kept the note hidden from you, I was so afraid of your worst fears coming true. I couldn’t lose you. It’s not an excuse, I do understand that I need to always be honest with you. We’re a team. I’m sorry about the paper I slid under your door last night, I know it’s too soon for that and it probably only added more pressure.”

“I forgive you for keeping Taiwan from me. I understand why you did it and I trust that you won’t do it again, but please don’t apologize for the note. I know you were probably panicked and thought it would be a good last resort to help me forgive you. You have to understand though, I don’t want you to ever say that for any reason other than meaning it wholeheartedly. It’s not fair otherwise.”

“You-you think I didn’t mean it?”

“It’s okay, Kook-ah. I’m not upset. Just wait until you mean it, okay?”

“Tae, you idiot.”

Jungkook surges forwards and captures Tae’s lips, trying to push all of his feelings into the kiss. He never wants him to doubt what he feels. Loving Taehyung has come as naturally to him as breathing, he lives in his veins. He doesn’t care if he’s the only one who feels it right now, all he cares about is making sure he’s taken seriously. He licks the seams of Taehyung’s lips, expecting to be let inside, but instead the kiss breaks.

“Jungkook, what-”

“I love you. I think I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry it took me so long. I love you. I told you I wanted everything and I meant it. You are everything to me. I don’t expect you to say it back, wait until you’re ready.”

Taehyung is looking at him with awe glittering in his eyes, as if he wants to say everything and nothing at the same time. He searches Jungkook’s eyes and opens his mouth, but instead of speaking he bursts into laughter. As much as he loves that sound, it stings a little after an admission like that.

“Jungkook! I’ve been in love with you since the very start. I’ve been pining away for years. Wait until I’m ready? I’m way past due. I love you more than I love music, more than I love fashion, more than I love movie nights and tours and adventures. You’re my adventure.”

Jungkook feels tears spill from his eyes, not realizing they were even building to begin with. He reaches up and cups Taehyung’s face, searching his eyes and watching as they also well with tears. Their faces break into silly grins at the same time and their lips come together again. Jungkook tangles his fingers in Tae’s hair and tugs, eliciting a gasp from him that leaves his mouth open for the taking. Their tongues clash and wrestle, the kiss heating up in what seems like no time at all.

Fingers scramble for buttons, reach for waistbands, and before they realize it they’re stretched out naked pressed against each other head to toe. Jungkook is positive that nothing in the world will ever feel like Tae’s skin on his. It’s every concert they’ve ever played added together, mixed with every warm memory of the seven of them together. He doesn’t know how he managed to end up with a life like this, but he’ll never risk it again.

His skin is on fire as Taehyung presses warm and wet kisses down his neck, teeth grazing his skin with a breathy growl. He trails down to his chest, taking a nipple into his mouth as his long fingers tweak the other. His back arches off the bed and he lets out a long groan. He starts to lift his hips towards Tae’s body, needing any sort of friction. Instead he gets a firm hand pushing him back down onto the bed with a chuckle.

“Patience, Kookie. Trust me.”

Taehyung runs his lips along each of Jungkook’s hip bones and he starts to shiver. His cock is starting to leak and he’s never needed to be touched more in his life. He whines under his breath and lifts his head up onto the pillows, watching Taehyung’s sultry face smirking up at him from between his legs. He lifts up to position his mouth, but stops in mid-air.

“I love you.”

The sweetness of the words is immediately followed by Taehyung taking him all the way to the back of his throat in one swoop and Jungkook screams, not caring who might hear him. He’s throbbing in the wet heat of Taehyung’s mouth and feels a sinful tongue slip up and around his foreskin, dipping into the slit at the tip of his cock. He has no idea how he’ll ever last. His breath starts to stutter and he feels cold air hit where everything was just warm.

“Jungkook, would you like to fuck me this time?”

His mouth goes dry at the question and he can’t properly form words. He’s thought of this so many times, but never wanted to push. Taehyung always tops and he assumed if he wanted to bottom he would say something. Does he really want this?

“Are you sure? I thought you only topped.”

“I usually do, but the way I see it, this is something very intimate for me that I would only ever trust you with. For you, I want to switch. I want to know how you feel inside me, Kook. I want to know what it feels like to be filled by the man I love. What do you say?”

“Y-yes. Fuck yes. Now.”

“Do you know how to prep by now?”

Jungkook feels his face start to split into a grin and he sits up, capturing Tae’s lips and grabbing him by the shoulders. He moves him backwards and grabs one of the pillows from the head of the bed to place towards the bottom. He turns him around and lays him back, hips lifted by the pillows. He scrambles in his drawer for the bottle of lube and is about to squeeze some onto his fingers when he stops in his tracks.

He can’t help but be awestruck by the sight in front of him. Taehyung looks like the perfect mix of salvation and damnation. His beautiful golden skin is smooth from head to toe, his lips softly meeting the color. His body is soft and lean, contrasted by the beautiful hardness of his cock that’s twitching under Jungkook’s gaze. Their eyes meet and there’s a look of desperation that spurs him into action.

Jungkook squeezes lube onto his fingers and leans down to take Tae’s cock into his mouth. There’s a strangled sound from above him and he starts to bob up and down while he reaches behind to softly press his finger against Taehyung’s tight hole. He slowly pushes his way in and feels his body tense up. He picks up his head for just a moment.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you baby.”

He waits until Tae unclenches before continuing and eventually is able to slide his finger in and out as he continues to swirl his tongue. He moves slowly, knowing that he can be overeager sometimes and this is very delicate. He opens his eyes and looks up with a question in his eyes and once Taehyung nods he pushes a second finger in, feeling the tissue stretch.

“Fuck, Jungkook. If this is how good this feels, I’ve been wasting so much time. My fingers are so much slimmer than yours.”

Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat, imagining Taehyung masturbating with fingers buried knuckle deep inside himself. He curls his fingers up and tries to find his prostate, not knowing for sure where it is. He grazes past a new texture and Tae’s entire body bucks off the bed. He slides back and forth over it as he adds in a third finger and it’s as if the other man doesn’t even notice, he’s too lost in pleasure.

After he does his best to push open that tightness, he pulls his fingers out and lifts his head off of Tae’s cock. He sits up and starts lubing up his cock, his hands shaking. He’s so nervous, he wants to be good for Taehyung’s first time bottoming. The problem is he has no idea what he’s doing. Could it be that different from fucking a woman? He doesn’t want to hurt him.

“Hey. Kook-ah. Look at me. It’s okay. I’m ready.”

“I’m supposed to be the one reassuring you right now!”

“Well then we’ll just have to keep each other safe, won’t we?”

Jungkook smiles and climbs up Taehyung’s body to leave soft kisses on his lips and press their foreheads together for a moment before rising up onto his knees and positioning himself in front of his now fluttering asshole. He starts to push his way in and his legs nearly give out. He goes slowly, watching Tae’s face to make sure he’s okay.

“God, Tae. You’re so tight and so wet. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“Neither have I, you’re filling me to the brim. Push further.”

Jungkook groans under his breath and pushes the rest of the way in until their bodies are flush against each other. He leans forward and puts one forearm on either side of Tae’s head to hold himself up. He doesn’t move a muscle, looking into his eyes and smiling. He wants to savor the moment.

“I love you, Taehyung.”

“I love you too, Jungkook.”

He starts to slowly push himself in and out of Taehyung’s body, their breath mingling as their lips hover. Every so often one will lean into a kiss, but they’re so caught up in soft pleasure that there’s a haze in both their eyes. Jungkook has no desire to move any faster, he wants to feel every single inch of Taehyung. He runs his hands through the elder’s hair, placing soft kisses along his cheeks and his eyelids when he blinks.

Taehyung’s cock is sliding back and forth along his stomach, the mix of precum and saliva creating a delicious slide that Jungkook loves. That silky smooth hardness slipping between his muscles is driving him towards the edge. Taehyung’s face is starting to twitch, signaling his own release is close. He speeds up his thrust ever so slightly and they both begin to breathe heavier. He captures Tae’s lips with his as he lets go, spilling inside of him until he can feel it dripping out around his cock.

He feels Tae erupt less than a minute later, covering their stomachs in sticky warmth. They both groan and whimper, overstimulated and overemotional. Neither moves or says a word for several minutes. Jungkook is panting, Taehyung is shaking. They kiss soft and slow, reveling in the intimacy for a moment longer.

“I’m going to pull out, okay? I’ll go slow and then I’ll clean you up.”

Taehyung can only nod, his head bobbing loosely on his shoulders. Jungkook slides out of his gripping hole and they both wince at the sensitivity. He leaves a kiss on the inside of each of his spread thighs before grabbing a washcloth and a water bottle. He wets the cloth and cleans up Tae’s stomach before his own. He tries to scoop the cum out of his body as gingerly as possible and when he’s gotten as much as he can, he has an urge he doesn’t think twice about, placing a soft kiss on the sensitive ring of muscles.

“Jungkook!”

“Sorry hyung, it just looked so pretty all stretched out for me, I couldn’t help it.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes before pulling him up to the head of the bed, curling around him and nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“That was amazing. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Tae.”

Taehyung hums into his neck and his breathing starts to even out, spent from an emotional few days. As Jungkook’s eyes get heavy he hopes that when he wakes up, this wasn’t all just a dream.

********

Yoongi appreciates that Jimin always waits patiently at the counter while he makes coffee. Everyone knows that he’s absolutely useless for conversation until he gets his first sip of caffeine. He brings two mugs over to the barstools and sits next to Jimin, mug warm in his hands as he waits for him to start.

“Hyung, how are you feeling?”

“I should be asking you that, Jimin. Last night was a lot for you.”

“What happened after you pulled Dae-Hyun out of the room? As much as it was sort of…sexy to watch you defend my honor, I really hope you didn’t hit him.”

“I didn’t hit him. I did hit the wall by his head. Probably not a smart move either, but he wasn’t hurt. He just looked so defeated and empty, Jimin. My anger kind of leached away and I told him to go home. I did make sure to leave him with a bit of a threat if any of this comes back to haunt us.”

The look of relief on Jimin’s face makes Yoongi wish they’d talked about this last night. He doesn’t like the idea of him kept up at night with anxiety. He doesn’t know if he handled Dae-Hyun correctly, but it was the best he could do at the time and there’s nothing to do about it now.

“Thank you. You found a good balance, I think. What happens now? Do you believe that he’s actually remorseful? What about this BigHit plan that we’re being totally shut out of?”

“I don’t think we can worry about things we have no control over. We trust Bang and we especially trust Joon. If he’s on board, I’m on board. We just have to watch it play out. I’m kind of surprising myself with this, but I do think Dae-Hyun is remorseful. I think he made a lot of wrong decisions. I think he felt backed into a corner, but he does seem to want to fix what he broke.”

“Is it wrong that I’m starting to feel like I may want to keep an open mind where he’s concerned?”

“I don’t think it’s wrong, per se, but I think you need to be extremely cautious, sweetheart. You have such a big heart and it's one of the things I love most about you, but he’s already burned you once and in a huge way. Keep him at arm’s length for now and if you’re going to volunteer to hang out with him for this plan, just promise me you won’t do it alone.”

“I promise. I’ll bring Hobi, he can make any awkward situation better.”

Yoongi leans forward to press a kiss on Jimin’s lips when he hears a strangled cry come from down the hall. His face scrunches up and he sees Jimin’s eyes light up.

“Is that…?”

A door slams down the hall and Jin comes storming into the kitchen grumbling about disrespectful maknaes and not being able to have a relaxing morning without his ears being assaulted. More cries echo from down the hall and Jimin breaks into a peal of laughter that brings glares from both hyungs. Yoongi shakes his head and takes a sip of coffee to hide the smile growing on his own face.

********

Later that night, Taehyung and Jungkook are in the living room waiting for everyone else to arrive for their follow-up meeting about Dae-Hyun. ‘Nothing Like Us’ is playing through the speakers of Jungkook’s phone, balanced on Taehyung’s knee as he sits on his lap. They’re lost in their own blissful little world and don’t notice Namjoon enter.

“Thank god. You two figured it out.”

Taehyung smiles up at their leader and winks as the other members file in, Jin shooting them a dirty look.

“Yah, can you brats please be more considerate of who else might be in the dorm when you engage in…activities?!”

Taehyung can feel all the blood leave his face, he’d had no idea anyone had heard them and he’s mortified. Everyone took the day to decompress in their rooms and no one had said anything. Jungkook is shaking in laughter beneath him and Taehyung swats him before sitting up and crossing the room to cuddle into Jimin’s side and hide his face. Hobi bursts into laughter.

“Oh come on, Tae. Don’t be bashful now! We know too much!”

“Oh god. Jiminie, just bury me right here.”

“Sorry, Taetae. I can’t help you here.”

“You all suck.”

“Mmm, pretty sure it’s you two who suck.”

Hobi barely gets the joke out, rolling on the floor cackling. Taehyung wants to disappear into the fabric of the couch and shoots Namjoon a pleading look. The leader has turned red and looks incredibly embarrassed, maybe at the very least he wasn’t home to hear it. He clears his throat and tries to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay, okay. Leave the boys alone. They’ve been through enough. This is a serious meeting, we’re nowhere near being out of the woods yet.”

Namjoon’s words are sobering and a hush falls over the room. They were hoping to cling to any scrap of happiness while they could. Taehyung feels his palms grow clammy, thinking about all the horrifying possibilities of their predicament.

“I think I speak for all of you when I say that we’re going to rally behind the two couples. I don’t care who goes up against us or what their opinions are, we are the first line of defense. I went to the offices this morning and Bang is putting extra security detail on us. He also wants us to consider bringing some staff we trust into the fold. He thinks we could use help making sure nothing is too obvious on camera or when we travel.”

“How do we know who we can trust anymore? One more wrong judgment and our ship is sunk.”

“Agreed, Jin-hyung. That’s why it’s not required, but if we do want to open up to someone, it only happens with a unanimous vote. We have to all agree that that person can be trusted. I want everyone to make a list of three people they’d consider and we can talk about it again in a week or two.”

Silent nods are given across the room and everyone looks lost in thought. Taehyung meets Jungkook’s eyes and they trade small smiles. It’s a bizarre juxtaposition to be so happy and so upset at the same time. It feels like all the worst possible outcomes are coming true. Forced outing, scandal, disbandment. His head is spinning.

“Tae, are you okay? You look so pale.”

He barely registers Jimin’s voice, eyes locked on Jungkook. He feels like his head is underwater, everyone’s voices are muffled and his eyesight is blurry. He faintly feels hands on his and turns his head, seeing a blurry outline of Yoongi. He can’t make out a single word his hyung is saying. His face is getting warmer and warmer and his mouth is filling with saliva. Images of scandalous headlines, paparazzi photos, the note he left Jungkook, Dae-Hyun speaking on TV, everything catastrophic all running through his head.

He tries to stand up and the room spins, but he pushes on and past the hands reaching for him. He stumbles through the kitchen trying to reach the balcony for some fresh air when the ground comes up to meet him and he feels his head hit something as he blacks out.

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 10: The Door Of Truth Is Opening In Front Of Us

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, goal for 100k

Chapter Summary:

Hongjoong buried himself in his studio the minute they returned from Australia and he’s barely come home since. He sleeps on the couch, sleeps in the studio, sneaks into the room long after Seonghwa is asleep. Things are back to being quiet and uncomfortable and he just can’t bring himself to have another confrontation. He needs to just cope with the way things are and be okay with it. His focus right now is keeping San on his feet. They don’t have the time to wallow right now.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Author's Note:

We're doing little baby time jumps in this chapter. Each POV is a new month of 2019.

Wooyoung: September Seonghwa: October Yeosang: November Hongjoong: December

The weeks following their trip to Australia are hectic and their schedules are packed to the gills. They’re learning new choreography for the MAMAs and preparing for the release of their final Treasure EP. Everyone else might be exhausted, but Wooyoung revels in it. He loves being pushed to his limits, especially with dance. There’s also the added bonus of working a BTS sample into their MAMA routine. Getting noticed by any of their members is Wooyoung’s dream and he gets to take Jimin’s parts in the performance. This will be his chance.

The only downside to how busy they’ve been is that he hasn’t had much time to spend with Soomin. Her trainee schedule is similarly stacked and she’s working hard to make it to a point where she’ll be allowed to debut. They talk on the phone each night, even if they only have the energy for five minutes of conversation. Seeing each other gets much more complicated, the timing isn’t the only hurdle. It’s important that they’re not seen together, especially while she’s still a trainee. The best they can do is sneaking away to a hotel or getting the other members to allow her at the dorm.

All Wooyoung wants is to be able to bring her to the dorm and spend time with San. He wants the two of them to get to know each other, to bond. San is his best friend in the entire world and his opinion matters, but no matter what he does he can barely get them to speak. When San and Soomin cross paths, he’s polite and friendly on the surface, but Wooyoung knows his every mannerism as if they were his own. San has no interest in getting to know Soomin and it hurts Wooyoung’s feelings more than he expected. Can he get used to his girlfriend and his best friend having nothing to do with each other?

He’s headed to a hotel now to meet Soomin for a few hours, a rare break in their schedules finally lining up. He thinks the last few months together have been going well and he’s grateful to have met her, but dating like this is harder than he expected. He wants to be able to hold her, kiss her, touch her whenever he wants, not on a strict timetable that half the time doesn’t even pan out. He wants to know how her day is going and text her right when things happen in his instead of catching up at the end of a whole week.

He slides his keycard into the door of their usual room and pushes it open to find Soomin already sitting on the bed playing on her phone. He feels a warm smile cross his face and he puts his stuff down before sitting across from her. He slides his hands along her cheeks and tips her face up, pressing his lips to her and letting out a sigh of relief. Finally they have some time together. Something feels off though and he pulls back confused to find her looking at him with a blank stare.

“Soomin? Is everything okay?”

“I just want to talk to you about something first.”

“Yeah of course, anything.”

Wooyoung backs up, sitting cross-legged across from her and gathers her hands in his, her phone abandoned next to them but still open. He glances down and sees one of their performances paused on the screen and thinks about how cute it is that she’s looking into his music.

“Wooyoung, is there something you’re keeping from me?”

“What? Of course not, what would I need to keep from you?”

“Well, I’ve been watching a lot of your performances and variety show appearances in my downtime, it’s helped me feel closer to you when we’re forced apart for long stretches. I’ve kind of noticed a pattern and that made me go down this rabbit hole that kept me up all night last night. Let me start by asking you this, why is San the only one of your members who treats me coldly and seems to have no interest in getting to know me?”

“Honestly, I’ve wondered the same thing. He’s my best friend and I want the two of you to have a connection. I need to talk to him about it for sure, but what does that have to do with performances and variety shows?”

“Wooyoung, the two of you are almost always hanging off of each other. You can’t seem to go more than a few minutes without making sure some part of you is touching. During performances he’s always watching you and when you catch his gaze your face turns radiant. In a lot of your appearances you look at each other in a way you never look at me.”

“That’s ridiculous, Soomin. He’s my best friend and we perform some fanservice, but you know that’s part of being an idol.”

“This doesn’t seem like normal fanservice to me, this goes beyond that. Even if you think there’s nothing there, there is on his side. I can see it.”

“Why are you trying to create problems where there are none? We never get to see each other and this is how you want to spend our time?”

“This is important. It’s been weighing on me and I think you have some serious thinking to do. I really like you Wooyoung, this could be something really great, but I don’t want to feel like second fiddle.”

“You’re my girlfriend, he’s my best friend. It’s apples and oranges.”

“I think it’s more oranges and tangerines. I think we need some space and you need to do some soul-searching.”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No, I just want you to really think. I want you to look back at some of your performances and interviews and really pay attention to San’s face and yours and ask yourself what you really feel.”

“It seems to me that you’ve already made up your mind about who I am and what I think and what I feel and I really don’t appreciate it. My life is so stressful as it is and being with you has been such an oasis for me, but this is beyond the pale. Don’t worry about taking space, I’m done.”

Wooyoung hauls himself off the bed and gathers his things, leaving the room in a huff without looking back. He storms down the hall and none of it truly hits him until he’s stopped in his tracks waiting for the elevator to take him downstairs to the company car. Did Soomin just essentially accuse him of being in love with San? Or of trying to hide that San is in love with him? He’s never heard of anything so ridiculous in his life. San is his other half and they’re affectionate. That’s all it is and nothing more.

********

The first full-length ATEEZ album drops and the response is explosive. Seonghwa can’t believe the support they’ve garnered and the way Wonderland has swept through the industry. He loves the turn that their lore has taken with this album and he’s having more fun than ever appearing on shows. They’re becoming known for their performance abilities and Seonghwa is proud of how far they’ve come. He’s worked hard on his dancing long past everyone has gone home and felt like a fool practicing his facial expressions in the mirror, but it’s paid off. He, Hongjoong, and San have been named the “demon line” for their stage presence and passion. He never imagined himself as some sort of sex symbol, but here he is.

He wishes that San and Hongjoong could appreciate their progress the same way. Neither man is acting like himself, but the only one telling him anything is San. Wooyoung and Soomin broke up a few weeks back and when he came home from meeting her he picked a huge fight with San. From what Seonghwa can gather, it wasn’t even about anything in particular. Wooyoung just went off and Hongjoong had to pull them apart to cool off. Seonghwa had gone into San’s room after and his face had been crestfallen. Ever since, the two have been civil around each other, but never getting too close.

Hongjoong buried himself in his studio the minute they returned from Australia and he’s barely come home since. He sleeps on the couch, sleeps in the studio, sneaks into the room long after Seonghwa is asleep. Things are back to being quiet and uncomfortable and he just can’t bring himself to have another confrontation. He needs to just cope with the way things are and be okay with it. His focus right now is keeping San on his feet. They don’t have the time to wallow right now.

They’re in the dressing room preparing to tape a few live studio performances of tracks from the full-length album and the previous EPs, the show wanting to have the video in reserve for a little while before debuting it. They want the album to pick up a little more steam before they use it, which makes sense to Seonghwa. Why not ride the wave on the way up? Everyone is changing into relatively conservative outfits, they’ll just be in a studio with eight microphones and eight chairs. He sees San sitting alone in the corner of the room ready before everyone else and makes his way over.

“Hanging in there, Sannie?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, you’ve never been so convincing!”

“I feel like I’m missing a limb, but I have no idea how I lost it. Was it an accident? Do I have amnesia? Was I screwing around? Am I sick? What happened?”

“I wish I knew what to say. Wooyoungie hasn’t been the same around anyone since he and Soomin broke up, but I don’t know why he took it out on you.”

“He’s probably upset that I never made an effort with her, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t even bring myself to try.”

“I couldn’t have either if I were you. All you can do is give it time, let him mourn the relationship. It’s still fresh.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Come on, everyone is filing out. Let’s do this.”

Seonghwa reaches out a hand and hauls San up, smiling at the smallest bit of light that he catches behind his eyes. Performing is an escape for them all, a reason to ignore everything else. It’s their greatest passion and he’s not going to squander it on hurt feelings.

They run through the first few songs and everything goes smoothly. He smiles at the antics of his members, some dancing in their seats, some poking each other to try and distract from the lines, but he keeps his eyes mostly on San. The younger man is bouncing to the beat and putting his normal level of vigor into the words. Leave it to him to find a way to stand out during a seated performance.

The first notes of Thank U play from the live band behind them and Seonghwa can’t help but look to Hongjoong. This is the first time they’re performing this live and though it’s for something prerecorded without an audience, it feels significant. Hongjoong is staring only at the floor as he sings and doesn’t look up until the lines pass to Yunho. When he looks up their gazes meet and Seonghwa could swear there are tears trying to push their way out of his eyes.

The chorus kicks in and he can feel Hongjoong’s eyes boring into the side of his face as he lifts his mic and sings his own lines. Once the song moves on he looks over and can’t help but wonder if the leader has looked away once or even blinked. Seonghwa can feel anger brewing in his gut. How dare he? How dare he avoid him and hide things from him and treat him coldly, but look at him like that during a song that was written entirely from him? He looks away and doesn’t look back towards Hongjoong for the rest of the performance, deciding he’s going to give him what he’s shown himself wanting. Distance.

********

A month after the album release and their pre-taped performance, Yeosang is sitting alone in the dorm’s living room while the other members are all taking naps or at the company working. It’s taken time, but he’s fairly certain he knows what’s going on with everyone now and he’s determined to fix it even if he has to hit them over the head. In Australia, Hongjoong told him about walking in on San and Seonghwa and it’s made him pay closer attention to their interactions ever since.

He’s fairly certain that there’s nothing going on with the two anymore. They’ve gone back to spending a lot of time together, but Yeosang doesn’t get the vibe that they’re sneaking around. During their studio performance, Hongjoong nearly drilled holes into Seonghwa with his gaze as they sang Thank U for the first time. He doesn’t think anyone else noticed, but Hongjoong took off his hoodie after the song under the guise of being too hot, but Yeosang saw him using it to wipe away tears as he pulled it over his head.

It’s just a theory, but he thinks Hongjoong is so bothered by Seonghwa and San and hiding in his studio more than ever because he’s jealous. But if it was just their friendship being threatened, Hongjoong would have talked it out and either let it go or let Seonghwa reassure him. This isn’t that. Yeosang thinks Hongjoong has feelings for the eldest and either is in such deep denial that he’s unaware of it or he knows and is scared.

Wooyoung and San confuse him just a bit more. He and Yunho did the work to repair their rift, but Soomin had thrown a monkey wrench into the entire thing. Living with Wooyoung has meant that he’s been opening up to Yeosang almost constantly. He feels it’s San’s fault that he lost his relationship, which is perhaps the most ridiculous thing he’s ever said. It appears that Soomin was jealous and uncomfortable because of his bond with San and she felt that San not wanting to get to know her just made everything worse.

Yeosang has no idea why San avoided Soomin. It’s possible that their rekindled friendship wasn’t quite on solid ground yet and he felt threatened, worried he’d be left behind again. Sure, Wooyoung and San are very physically affectionate and very close, but that’s how they’ve always been and Wooyoung is a naturally touchy person. Soomin would have to accept that about him if the relationship were to work. He figures it’s probably for the best that they split, they barely had time for each other anyway.

His inner monologue and half-baked plans to fix everything are interrupted by a sleepy Yunho stumbling into the living room rubbing his eyes. He flops down next to Yeosang and looks so exhausted that it’s hard to believe he got any sleep at all.

“Yeosang-ah, I’m glad you’re out here alone. We need to talk.”

“What do you mean? Is everything okay?”

“I’m about to tell you something that I really shouldn’t, I’m about to break a very important confidence, but I think that in the end it’s for the best and it’s necessary.”

“Yunho, if you’re supposed to keep this to yourself I don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell me.”

“I have to. I need your help to fix this mess.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

“San is in love with Wooyoung.”

Yeosang feels like this is information he’s always known while also reeling in disbelief. How is that possible at the same time?

“I-I’m not really sure what to say to that.”

“It’s a shock and yet not a shock, right?”

“Exactly! Wow, you hit the nail on the head.”

“The last few months have been agonizing for Sannie and this new curveball of Wooyoung freezing him out after the breakup with Soomin is too much. I don’t know how to help him.”

“Wooyoung is confused and angry, he’s been ranting and raving to me constantly, but he says San’s name in his sleep. He misses him, I know he does. His anger is misplaced and a part of him knows that.”

“He says his name in his sleep?! Okay, screw this.”

Yunho gets up in a huff and stomps down the hall, leaving Yeosang behind in shock. What is he doing? He jumps up and chases Yunho down the hall and into his and Wooyoung’s room. Yunho scoops a sleeping Wooyoung off of his bed and throws him over his shoulder, the smaller man unable to fight back when he’s half asleep and half the size.

“Aigoo, Yunho! What are you doing? Put me down!”

“No, I’m sick of this bullshit. You’re coming with me.”

Yunho pushes past Yeosang and carries a kicking Wooyoung towards his own door, opening it with his free hand and a hip before flipping on the light. Yeosang can hear San’s protests coming from within.

“Yunho! I was still asleep, what are–Wooyoung?! What’s going on?”

“The two of you are working this out right now. We’re all tired of you acting like children. You’re best friends, you’re soulmates, you’re everything to each other so cut the shit and talk it out. Yeosangie and I will be sitting outside the door and you’re not going anywhere until you’re on good terms again. End of story.”

Yunho comes marching back out of his room and slams the door hard before sliding against it to sit on the floor. Yeosang is just standing in the middle of the hallway, mouth agape at their happy-go-lucky member getting stern and angry. He walks over and sits next to him in silence as they wait, hearing muffled yells from behind the door that eventually turn into sobs. An hour passes before the door opens, but by god Yunho’s tantrum actually works.

********

December rolls around and it’s time for the MAMAs. Not only are they attending, but ATEEZ is getting the opportunity to perform. This is one of the most pivotal moments of their career so far and Hongjoong is absolutely freaking out. They’ll be surrounded by all the most influential people in the industry and their most accomplished sunbaes. The medley they’ve put together is something he crafted himself and he’s proud of it, but so nervous to show it at the same time.

Everyone is gathered backstage waiting for their cues and he looks at all of his members in turn, everyone is fidgeting in their own ways. They’re all decked out in white and as he’s handed the flag he’s meant to enter the stage wielding he really does feel like a captain about to lead his crew into the great unknown. The only person who doesn’t look nervous is Wooyoung, who’s bouncing excitedly in place using San’s shoulders to jump higher. He makes his way over to them, happy to see them back to normal.

“Aish, Wooyoung-ah, calm down.”

“I can’t Hongjoongie-hyung! This is a big deal! BTS is watching us perform part of one of their songs! Is this really happening?!”

“Okay, okay, reel in your fanboy brain and focus on the performance. This is our moment.”

He calls everyone over to join them and puts his foot out, knowing the others will follow.

“Eight makes one team!”

They all exchange excited and encouraging looks as they take the stage. Wonderland starts out with power and Hongjoong can feel the echoes of it radiate throughout the crowd. When the mix of Blood, Sweat, and Tears kicks in they all gather around Wooyoung and nail the choreography they’ve practiced. The crowd screams for them and he can see the screens from the corner of his eye focused on a few of the BTS members smiling at the performance. The rest of the medley goes off without a hitch if you don’t count Mingi’s vest flying open and baring his chest to the world. Hongjoong is convinced he did it on purpose.

They run off the stage in a wild stampede of chaos. He tries to rein everyone in, but can’t help the grin that crosses his own face. They absolutely killed it and he’s floating in the clouds. They return to their seating to watch the other performances and he’s mesmerized by the way some of their seniors perform. Most of all he’s impressed by BTS and every time he looks over to Wooyoung and San they’re mimicking the dance moves and singing the words. He scans the crowd and sees the wave of ARMY bombs and every mouth moving to the lyrics and sees what he wants for their future.

The show is long and exhausting, but when they win the Worldwide Fans’ Choice Award Hongjoong can’t help the tears that pour down his face the second they leave the stage. He gathers the other members around him and holds them tight, grateful for this group of people that he’s lucky enough to call his family. As they’re scattering back down the hallway towards the dressing rooms someone taps Hongjoong on the shoulder and he turns around just to freeze as he sees Kim Namjoon of BTS standing there.

“Hi, I’m Kim Namjoon.”

“O-of course you are. Uh, I mean, hi, I’m Kim Hongjoong.”

“You’re the leader of ATEEZ, right?”

“I am. Excuse any disrespect RM-sunbaenim, but…you know who we are?”

“I do! That performance was incredible and I’ve been listening to your recent album. I’ve been wanting to meet you.”

“Meet me?”

Hongjoong is fairly certain that he’s having some sort of dream, but there stands RM in the flesh laughing at his inability to speak coherently.

“Yes, don’t look so shocked! I’ve asked around about you and I hear you have a heavy hand in writing your group’s songs. Well, so do I and I wanted to give you my number so that you had someone to ask questions to or bounce ideas off of. We have to stick together in this industry so that it doesn’t eat us all alive right? I remember being a rookie group and having a senior group behind me would have been helpful. Am I overstepping?”

“No, no you’re not! That…that would be amazing. Thank you so much. Yes, I’ll definitely reach out. Here, put your number in my phone and call yourself.”

Hongjoong watches in amazement as Namjoon takes his phone and dials some numbers before hitting the call button. He’s so much more intimidating up close, tall and almost regal. Wooyoung won’t believe this is even happening to him. His phone is handed back to him and they exchange polite nods before turning in their opposite directions and Hongjoong makes his way to the dressing room in a stupor. He crosses the threshold and his eyes go directly to Seonghwa. All he wants to do right now is tell his best friend what just happened to him, but he sees him sitting next to San. Though, San is turned away from him and engrossed in Wooyoung so Hongjoong decides to push through his discomfort and walks over to where Seonghwa is sitting.

He holds out both hands and gets only a puzzled look in return. He opens and closes them just over Seonghwa’s and he laces their fingers. Hongjoong hauls him up and wraps him in a tight hug, the rest of the group whooping around them. He can barely hear them, all he can hear is the way his heart is thumping in his ears.

Ending Author's Note: If you haven't seen this performance, click here!

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 9: I Always Wanted You To Take Care Of Me

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, goal for 100k

Chapter Summary:

San walks into the house that the company has set up for them and does his best to feign excitement for the cameras. They’ve got three days to complete missions, film themselves, and then leave Sydney for Los Angeles for an impromptu performance with ATINY. He knows how to do his job and do it well, so he’ll get through the week even if he’s dying a little inside. He can think of nothing but Wooyoung and Soomin, what their relationship is like behind closed doors, how often they talk, what she thinks of their friendship. His heart weighs heavy in his chest.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Australia is everything Yeosang hoped it would be. The shows go perfectly and the response from the local ATINYs puts what feels like a permanent smile on his face. The only thing weighing on him is the way their leader has been acting. Ever since they arrived, Hongjoong has been trying to talk to him alone but they’re always interrupted. By the time they get back to their hotel each night they’re so exhausted that their heads hit the pillow and they pass out. He’s determined to carve out some time for them tonight. Their last show here went off without a hitch and there’s nothing left to distract them. Instead of being allowed to celebrate, management told them to rest up for their next schedule, though Yeosang can’t imagine what that could possibly be.

As everyone heads back to their rooms, Hongjoong keeps glancing back at him but doesn’t seem ready to speak. Yeosang is tired of dancing around it and plans to confront the leader the second they get settled. They approach their doors and Hongjoong slides in their keycard, holding it open for Yeosang to go in first. He makes a beeline for their bathroom, taking a quick shower in hopes that Hongjoong will take one next and then they can sit and talk. What he doesn’t expect is to come out of the bathroom clean and in his pajamas to find his hyung sitting on his bed waiting instead of his own.

“Yeosang-ah, can we talk?”

“Yeah, of course, hyung. What’s on your mind?”

Yeosang settles himself on the foot of his bed, sitting across from Hongjoong who doesn’t seem to want to look up from fiddling with the rings on his hands.

“I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone about this for a lot of reasons. I feel like it’s not my business, I feel like it shouldn’t matter, it embarrasses me, it confuses me. All in all, I tried my best to handle it myself, but I seem to just be getting even more tangled up. You’re one of the most level-headed people I know and I know that I can trust you. So I figured we could talk once we got here.”

Yeosang feels his chest swell with pride. All the time he and Hongjoong spent bonding over the past six months has built a strong enough foundation that he’s being trusted enough to confide in. He loves feeling special and needed, but who doesn’t? His hope that Hongjoong would be someone he could turn to when Wooyoung disappears seems to be within his grasp.

“You can tell me anything! I’ve noticed you acting a little off lately, you know.”

“I can never seem to hide any emotions from you even when I can hide them from everyone else, huh? Here goes nothing. Not long after we got back from our tour in New York…I walked in on San and Seonghwa kissing.”

A weighted silence falls between them and Yeosang nearly falls over at the admission. This is nothing like he was expecting, how did he not see the signs? Sure, the two of them had been getting closer, but they’d been rooming together on tour. That was only natural, just like him and Hongjoong. He knows their friendship has been bugging the leader, but how long has it been bugging him because of this?

“Wow. Well, that wasn’t what I expected. Is there more to the story?”

“I was bothered by the fact that he had switched roommates in New York, so I wanted to make a gesture to try and smooth it over so we could go back to rooming together for Europe. I’d made us coffee and was bringing it to our room one morning after I’d fallen asleep on the couch. When I opened the door they were sitting on the bed, Seonghwa was crying and leaned forward and kissed San. I was so taken aback that I leapt backwards and bumped right into Wooyoung. I dropped the tray and everything broke and I didn’t want them to know I had seen them so I basically ran off.”

“Hyung! That’s not like you. You’ve been avoiding it all this time? You haven’t told anyone? You and Seonghwa-hyung live together!”

“For some reason it really shook me, Yeosang. I don’t know if it’s because my best friend is lying and hiding things from me or the fear that him growing closer to San in that way will change our friendship. It’s been this cloud hanging over my head ever since. Wooyoung came to me before Europe and asked me to switch the rooms around so that he could room with San and I snapped at him. So the rooms stayed the same and who knows what happened all those weeks. They spent every minute together.”

“I remember. We talked about it a bit. You were really throwing yourself into Thank U, is this why?”

“I think so, yeah. I just wanted to do anything I could to get him to come back, to open up to me. I wanted him to tell me himself. The song helped us talk and helped us reconnect, but he still didn’t say anything about San. So I’ve kind of just let it be for now. But then…”

Hongjoong trails off and puts his hands over his face, falling back onto the pillow and hiding for a minute before he heaves a sigh and sits back up. He looks wearier and more frustrated.

“I had finally decided to tell San that I saw them. He had come to me before Europe upset, wondering why I was treating him differently. Then he came to me again last week confronting me about what was bothering me. I felt awful that my bullshit was spilling over onto him. I was about to say something and then Wooyoung walked in with Soomin and everything went to shit.”

“Ah, well we do know Wooyoungie has a knack for bursting into places at the worst possible time. Hyung, why would you tell San and not Seonghwa-hyung?”

“I can’t stomach the idea of him trying to cover it up or make up a story. The whole conversation would be far too awkward for me and I don’t want to deal with it. I told San that he could tell Seonghwa what I was about to say but that I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone again.”

“What?! Come on. You know better than that. That’s ridiculous. I’m sorry for the disrespect, but what a terrible idea. You need to talk to Seonghwa-hyung.”

“I just can’t Yeosang-ah. At least not until I know why this has bothered me so deeply and why I can’t seem to let it go. I went to San’s room later that night after we’d all spent some time getting to know Soomin and found them fast asleep in his bed spooned together and my stomach dropped. It felt like the final nail in my best friend coffin. Why did it hurt so much?”

“We’ll figure it out together, okay?”

“Thank you. I feel better just having gotten it off my chest. I’m going to get in the shower.”

Hongjoong smiles at him and groans as he hauls himself off of the bed. He makes his way to the bathroom and shuts the door, leaving Yeosang alone with his thoughts to dissect the conversation. So many puzzle pieces are finally falling into place. The bizarre glares Hongjoong has been sending San and Seonghwa’s way whenever they goofed off or spent time together. The distance between Wooyoung and San. How quickly San and Seonghwa had grown close. They’ve been hiding a secret from their best friends and they feel guilty about it.

At the same time, Yeosang and Yunho had trapped Wooyoung and San into talking and it seemed to have worked. The two were inseparable for weeks after. San and Seonghwa had started spending much less time together. But wait…then Wooyoung had brought Soomin home and Seonghwa had given her only the most basic pleasantries before scooping up San and rushing him from the room. Hongjoong had found them sleeping together. What does it all mean?

********

San walks into the house that the company has set up for them and does his best to feign excitement for the cameras. They’ve got three days to complete missions, film themselves, and then leave Sydney for Los Angeles for an impromptu performance with ATINY. He knows how to do his job and do it well, so he’ll get through the week even if he’s dying a little inside. He can think of nothing but Wooyoung and Soomin, what their relationship is like behind closed doors, how often they talk, what she thinks of their friendship. His heart weighs heavy in his chest.

Jongho is excitedly running around the house, pointing out the way the rooms are assigned and San crosses his fingers that he’s not put in a room with Wooyoung. He listens to the far away voice and breathes a sigh of relief when he hears he’ll be sharing with Seonghwa while Wooyoung shares with Hongjoong. Ironic the way their unrequited loves will be paired together while they’re closed off to pine away alone. He’s grateful that he’ll have Seonghwa by his side, a rock to cling to in the storm.

Their first day shooting Treasure Film goes by easily, they chose the easiest tasks to start with and Yunho did him a favor by volunteering to go on Wooyoung’s day trip to gather kimchi. Wooyoung looked to San to go, but he shot a pleading look to Yunho and the plans were set. They all meet back together for dinner and head to bed early as the next day will be the more difficult one. Once they’re settled into their room, San and Seonghwa duck under the blankets so they can whisper until the camera in the corner shuts off for the night.

“You doing okay, Sannie?”

“I walked by Wooyoung and Hongjoong-hyung’s room after I brushed my teeth and heard him giggling on the phone with Soomin. I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“I wish I knew how to make this better, I wish there was anything I could do. The best I can offer is support and commiseration.”

“You’re helping more than you know, Hwa, trust me. How are things with hyung?”

“Something is off still, but it seems to be getting worse.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I forgot to tell you this in the crazy rush this past week. Right before Wooyoung came in with Soomin, Hongjoongie-hyung was about to tell me something about what’s been bothering him. He said I could tell you if I wanted to, but that after that he never wanted to talk about it again. He didn’t want you bringing it up with him.”

“What?! What the hell kind of request is that?”

“I have no idea. Wooyoung burst in right as he was about to speak and he hasn’t brought it up since.”

“He was going to tell only you, said you could tell me, but wanted it kept a secret otherwise…hm. You don’t think he knows about us, do you?”

“Of course not, how could he? It only happened a few times and we were always discreet.”

“I just don’t know what else he could have to say that would be just for the two of us. Oh god.”

“Don’t panic, hyung. I’ll try to ask him tomorrow when we have some free time, okay? Just sleep for now. The cameras should be off, come here and I’ll hold you.”

Seonghwa sighs and nods, a resigned look on his face, and turns onto his other side. San wraps his arms around his hyung and squeezes tight, wanting to do anything he can to ease the pain and anxiety. If there’s one thing he absolutely hates, it’s seeing Seonghwa upset. He’ll track down Hongjoong tomorrow and get to the bottom of all of this.

********

Hongjoong opens his eyes to Mingi bursting into his and Wooyoung’s room playing music to wake them up. He groans and pulls the pillow over his head, refusing to budge. Wooyoung had kept him up late chattering with Soomin and he’s too exhausted for all the shooting they have to do today. Maybe if he keeps his eyes closed the day won’t ever start. Suddenly he’s bounced around as Mingi jumps on their bed singing at the top of his lungs and Hongjoong knows it’s no use.

“Alright Mingi, alright! We’re up! Go away!”

“Hyung, you have to help me wake up everyone else, let’s go!”

“Fine, you take Seonghwa and San and I’ll grab the others.”

Mingi laughs and runs out of the room, music still blaring. Hongjoong heaves a sigh, relieved that he’s not going to be the one who has to burst in on Seonghwa and San. He can’t believe they got paired together again. He sits up and looks over at Wooyoung who’s ruffled and fighting to open his heavy eyes.

“Yah, Wooyoungie, tonight if you’re going to talk to Soomin do it in the living room, okay?”

“Sorry hyung, you’re right. Let’s go back to sleep.”

“Nope, let’s go! Up, up, up!”

Hongjoong springs out of bed, knowing if he doesn’t force himself up he’ll never move. He shuffles out of the room and slowly wakes up the other four, being a lot gentler than Mingi who he can hear yelling at Seonghwa and San down the hall. Everyone finally got moving and he can hear laughter coming from the room at the end, curiosity gets the best of him and he peeks in. Seonghwa is throwing pillows at Mingi’s face and San is half-bent over him grumbling about waking up. Something deflates inside Hongjoong and he turns away to change his clothes.

They eat breakfast and set off to their activities for the day and something inside him unclenches when he realizes San and Seonghwa will be doing separate activities. He can’t help but be a little bit worried about them both, though. San is swimming with sharks and Seonghwa has to climb Harbour Bridge. He knows the staff wouldn’t put them in actual danger, but they’re both facing big fears today. In comparison he has it easy, he just has to stay awake through a movie with Wooyoung and Yeosang.

Unsurprisingly, he fails. The movie isn’t hard to follow and he’s used to watching things in English, but the other two are lost and ask a lot of questions. Eventually, he looks over and sees them sleeping and that’s what does him in. Before he knows it, the lights come up and he’s roused from his slumber. He decides it’s Wooyoung’s fault for keeping him up late. Solid excuse.

They head back to the house and everyone else is already there, Seonghwa and San babbling to the others about their adventures. All that’s left to accomplish are phone calls to their parents and filming wake-up calls for ATINYs. Hongjoong heads to the kitchen for some privacy but is confronted with San when he turns back around.

“Hyung, we need to talk.”

“Right now, San-ah? I was going to call my parents and get it out of the way.”

“Yes, now. Let’s go into the backyard where the cameras can’t pick us up.”

Hongjoong is full of jitters, he really doesn’t want to talk to San right now. He just wants to get all of this over with and travel to Los Angeles tomorrow so they can finish their schedules and go home. He has work to do, he’s stressed about Seonghwa, he wants to talk to Yeosang. He reluctantly follows San outside and finds a dark corner of the yard for them to hunker down in away from everyone else.

“Hyung, last week you were going to tell me something, but then Young-ah came in with Soomin and interrupted you. What did you want to say?”

“Ah, Sannie. It’s not important anymore.”

“Yes it is. You never say anything without meaning to, it was clearly something you needed to get out.”

“I got it out. I talked to Yeosang at the hotel. I’m fine.”

“Yeosang? You told me it needed to be kept a secret.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, I talked to Yeosang and I’m fine. Drop it.”

He stands up and storms off, leaving San sitting in the dark alone. He can’t deal with this right now. He needs to focus on their missions and shut his brain off. Everyone is scattered around the house calling their parents so he sets himself up at the kitchen island and dials his mother. He sees San come back into the house out of the corner of his eye and avoids looking. His mother’s voice rings through the room and he’s hit with a sense of longing. He misses home and he can’t help but get emotional. Once they hang up he goes to the fridge and grabs two beers, sitting down at the kitchen table and opening one while he tries to decompress. He’s at the bottom of the second bottle when Seonghwa comes down the stairs and perks up when he sees him.

“Joongie! Can you help me? I’m having trouble with these messages to ATINY.”

No, I really just want to be alone and I’m having trouble looking at you.

“Yeah of course, Hwa. Hold on.”

Hongjoong swigs the rest of the alcohol from the bottle and brings them to the kitchen to recycle. He leaves the kitchen and flops down on the couch, the buzz going to his head in a way that helps him relax a bit. He gives Seonghwa pointers as he speaks to the camera set up in the corner. He makes funny faces and noises to try to trip him up and they both laugh. It feels nice to be goofy with his best friend without anything else getting in the way. Before long he starts to feel drowsy and excuses himself to go upstairs. Luckily Wooyoung isn’t in their room and he flops himself down on the bed.

He’s just starting to drift off when the door opens and he looks up to see Seonghwa sneaking in. He seems to think it will be easier to do his recordings with someone in the room. Hongjoong just grunts and lets him talk to the camera while he closes his eyes, but he should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. He can feel Seonghwa walking over to him and leaning over his face, speaking softly. It sends goosebumps over his skin and he has no idea why. The whispers turn into annoying sounds to get a reaction out of him and he flings out a hand to smack him.

They go on like that for a little while until Seonghwa gets the message and finishes up his ATINY messages without incident, then he turns off the camera. Hongjoong frowns, they’re really not supposed to do that. The cameras are on a timer and will turn off when they all go to sleep.

“Joong, is everything okay?”

“Of course, why do you ask?”

“Things feel off. They’ve felt off for a long time. I feel like you’re keeping something from me.”

Hongjoong’s stomach twists and he can’t think of anything to say. Part of him wants to snap at Seonghwa about the hypocrisy of talking to him about secrets. Part of him wants to just let go and tell him everything. He does neither. He just holds his arms out and Seonghwa’s face crumbles just the smallest bit. He crosses the room and lays down across Hongjoong’s chest and he can’t help but relax at the familiar weight of Seonghwa’s body. This is home to him, but it’s tainted now. He can’t stop that tiny voice in the back of his head reminding him that San has been in his place.

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 20: Give Me Back My Smile, Caught In A Lie

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 200k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

It’s almost as if something in Yoongi snaps. He stands up from his chair, grabs Dae-Hyun by the collar, and drags him out of the room and into the hallway. He ignores everyone’s protests and barrels out the front door with the other man trying to keep up with his grip.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Namjoon is in his studio putting the final touches on songs for the album and makes a mental note to ask Jimin to name the song they created for Yoongi. He’s exhausted, it’s been a long day, but there’s too much to worry about to truly relax. It feels like control has entirely slipped from his grasp. He’s used to being able to keep the group in line while also fighting for them with the company. This situation though, is extremely delicate and could go in so many different ways.

He decides it’s time to call it quits for the day when he hears a knock at the door. He opens it to see Jimin and Dae-Hyun standing there. Jimin looks as if he’s barely holding back anger and Dae-Hyun looks completely broken. Namjoon is taken aback and ushers them inside before pulling the privacy curtain shut and locking it behind them.

“Guys, is everything okay?”

“Heh, ask Dae-Hyun.”

“Alright. Dae-Hyun, what’s going on?”

“Namjoon, I’m so sorry. This entire thing got completely out of hand. I’m the one who left the note on Jungkook’s door in Taiwan.”

Namjoon gasps and steps backwards, kicking himself for discounting the man to begin with. How much do any of them even know about him? He sits down in his desk chair and puts one hand to his face, looking up at the other two with an expressionless face.

“Okay. Tell me everything. I mean absolutely everything. If I find out you’re hiding anything, this is going to go very badly for you.”

“My mother is dying. I come from a very low-income family. I bounce around different jobs hoping there will be new opportunities that pay more. Around the time I signed on with BigHit, someone from one of the Big 3 approached me and offered to pay for her entire treatment if I uncovered a gay relationship within BTS. They had no proof or details, just speculation that there was one. I put my discomfort with the idea aside and told myself that saving my mother was worth doing anything.”

Jimin scoffs from across the room, leaning against the wall with his fists clenched.

“Running into Jimin-ssi on my first morning there was a coincidence. I didn’t seek him out. I figured opportunities would present themselves as I worked with you all longer. Then we hit it off so well that day and started to grow closer and then I went with you all to Osaka. I haven’t told Jimin this part, but while I was looking for equipment backstage I, um, I unlocked a closet and saw Jimin and Yoongi-hyung kiss. I immediately ran out and found a corner to cry in because I didn’t want it to be them. I didn’t want to hurt and expose one of the first true friends I’ve ever had.”

Jimin starts choking from where he’s standing and starts to turn red. His hands shake and Namjoon knows he’s about to explode.

“Jimin-ah, let Dae-Hyun finish. We can discuss everything after we have all the information.”

“Yeah, so, then I had dinner with Taehyung-ssi after Osaka and that’s the night he invited me to game night. I had such a great night with you all. I never felt like an outsider, you included me even in your inside jokes. You’re all such amazing people, I was so conflicted. I slept in Jungkook’s room that night since I was too drunk to drive home and I found the note from Taehyung tacked to his corkboard. I grabbed it and took it, figuring it would be all I’d need to bring to my contact in order to get my mom some help.”

“See? What else do you need to hear, Namjoon-hyung? He did it. He explained why. That’s it.”

“Dae-Hyun, is Jimin right? Is that the end of your story?”

“No, no it’s not. I didn’t show the note to anyone. I couldn’t stomach it. Then in Taiwan, Jungkook-ssi invited me for drinks alone and I felt like throwing up. He was being so kind and welcoming and that felt like the nail in my mother’s coffin. I couldn’t do this to you all. So I taped the note to his door before I knocked, figuring it would kind of warn him that he and Taehyung were in danger. I didn’t mean to scare him or to impact the rest of you. It felt like the only way I could help.”

“Tell him about how you chose to handle things with me, Dae-Hyun.”

“Ah. Jimin-ssi is right, I need to come clean there too. After Taiwan, I was starting to realize that I had feelings for him. I’ve always had a twinge of discomfort around homosexual relationships, I explained this part to Jimin. I never imagined myself falling for a man, but it’s Jimin. He’s amazing. I couldn’t stop thinking about him while also knowing I was nowhere near good enough for him with what I’ve been doing. I also had no idea what that kiss between him and Yoongi meant. So I called him up and broke off our friendship.”

“Now tell him about tonight.”

“I was trying to come clean and didn’t know where to start. Jimin-ssi told me to start with what was most important. I-I kissed him. My feelings for him should not have been the most important thing to me and I should never have expressed them by forcing a kiss on him. I won’t make excuses, I did the wrong thing. Then he brought me here to see you, Namjoon.”

Namjoon hasn’t moved a muscle other than to interject between Jimin and Dae-Hyun to keep the peace. His mind is reeling and poring over the possible repercussions of each path he could take from here. Part of him feels for Dae-Hyun, his mother was obviously going to mean more to him than a group of strangers. He can’t pretend to know what he’d do to save his mother’s life.

“Alright. Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to walk up to the CEO’s office with me right now and you’re going to explain this again. Leave out the part about finding Yoongi-hyung and Jimin, and the part about kissing Jimin. Those won’t be relevant to the company. You’ll give him the name of your contact and the three of us will have a very serious discussion. Then we’re going to go back to the dorm and you’re going to come clean to everyone.”

“Absolutely, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

“Thank you. Go stand in the hallway please but stay in front of the door so I can see you.”

Dae-Hyun bows all the way to the floor in front of both of them, his shoulders starting to shake, before walking to the door and opening the curtain before he stands on the other side of the glass.

“Okay, Jimin-ah. This is entirely up to you, but I need your honesty. When he talks to the group, do you want him to tell them that he saw you and Yoongi-hyung? Is there anything you need to tell me about that?”

“Namjoon-hyung, I promise that we’ve been trying to find the right time to talk to everyone about it. We aren’t hiding it on purpose, but Dae-Hyun had called to end our friendship on the day we planned to and I needed time to get past that before I put anything else on my shoulders. Then you met with Bang this morning and we agreed that figuring out this scandal with Tae and Kook was more important.”

“I understand, I’m not upset. Would you be comfortable telling everyone tonight before Dae-Hyun speaks? That way he can tell the entire story and there won’t be anyone left out of the loop on anything.”

“I’ll talk to Yoongi-hyung, but I don’t see why not. He’s been wanting to hurry up and tell everyone. It’s kind of cute actually, he seems proud to be with me.”

“Jiminie, who wouldn’t be?”

********

Yoongi is sitting in his studio considering going back to the dorm to talk to Taehyung, he’s been sending very cryptic text messages and it’s worrisome. He feels incredibly bad about him walking into Jungkook’s room at the worst possible moment. He wants Tae to know that Jungkook only had the best of intentions, even if he did the wrong thing. He’s used to being the one that Taehyung comes to now, but he keeps blowing him off.

He tries to shake it off and goes back to tweaking the piece on the screen in front of him when he hears the beeping of his door code. He turns his chair around and sees Jimin standing in the doorway, tears in his eyes. He freezes for a minute, unable to look away from how pretty and delicate Jimin looks with his eyes shining. He hops out of the chair and runs to the door, closing it behind them.

“Jiminie, sweetheart, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Jimin recounts his meeting with Dae-Hyun, explaining that the other man was behind things all along. Yoongi’s fists clench in anger and he’s trying not to react so as to let Jimin get everything out. He can feel that old burn in his chest, his ugly temper rearing its head. Jimin is beyond distraught, Jungkook and Taehyung are a mess, and this impacts the whole group. If there’s one thing that Yoongi won’t tolerate, it’s someone hurting his loved ones.

“God, Jimin. I’m so sorry about all of this, I’m glad you came to me. That’s a lot to carry. I know you trusted him and cared about him. Hell, I liked the man too when I spoke with him. I never got the impression he was doing anything shady.”

“There’s more, hyung. He told me that while we all snapped him out of his stupidity, the shining beacon that shifted his mindset was falling for me. He kissed me. I didn’t want him to, I froze and went stiff and he let me go.”

Yoongi falls silent and starts to pace around the room. He’s wondering if one strong punch to the man’s face would be enough or if he’d lose control and not be able to stop. He feels Jimin’s delicate hands wrap around his fists and turns his head to meet his eyes.

“Yoongi, it’s okay. It was just a kiss and I was wiping tears from his face. That was kind of a mixed signal, but he hadn’t told me the rest yet and I wanted to comfort him. It’s my own fault.”

“No. No! I don’t ever want to hear that from you again. I don’t care if it was ‘just’ a kiss or if you were comforting him. I don’t care if you were dancing around half-naked, someone should never kiss you against your will. I’m glad he read your signals and stopped, but the thought of his lips on yours and the fear you probably felt makes me see red.”

“Will you not want to kiss me for a while? Am I tainted?”

Yoongi turns his body towards Jimin’s, grabbing both of his hands and raising them to his lips. He keeps hold of one and reaches for his face with the other. He’s caressing Jimin’s soft, tear-stained cheek and trying to show him with his eyes how much he cares. He’s never been good with words. He leans in and presses a soft and slow kiss against Jimin’s lips, trying to pour all of his affection into it.

“Jimin, there will never be anything in this world that will keep me from kissing you. It is impossible to taint perfection. I love you. I’m in love with you. I think I have been for years and just repressed it to the point where I couldn’t recognize it. These past few months of discovery with you have cracked my heart wide open. It’s okay if you’re not there yet, I just couldn’t wait any longer to tell you. I know this isn’t the ideal time.”

“Yoongi. Shut up. You’re babbling. I love you too, you adorable mess. I’ve been in love with you for years and aware of it. I resigned myself years ago to being your brother and counted myself lucky. Now Min Yoongi is actually in love with me? THE Min Yoongi? Pinch me, I’m dreaming.”

Yoongi suddenly bursts into tears and wraps Jimin in his arms, dragging him over to the couch and curling into him like a comma hugging the break in a sentence. Jimin is crying too and they lay there for awhile whispering their declarations of love over and over again. He never wants to leave this spot. He can see the headline now: Suga of BTS retires to spend life on couch with paramour.

They’re pulled from their haze of affection when both of their phones buzz incessantly. Jimin pulls his from his pocket and sees the group text filling with messages quickly.

“Aish, sorry. I forgot to tell you that we have a mandatory group meeting tonight, Namjoon is making Dae-Hyun come clean to the group. I was supposed to be here asking you if you want to announce our relationship to everyone before he talks. He’s the one who saw us in Osaka and it’s going to come out to the group either way.”

“Absolutely. I’m not sure how I’m going to react when I see that bastard, but nothing would help more than being able to tell our family that we’ve fallen in love.”

Jimin’s face breaks into a smile that is blinding like the sun and Yoongi takes a second to bask in it before he pulls him up off the couch so they can head home.

*********

Jungkook is the first to arrive in the living room for the mandatory meeting. Based on everyone’s responses to the group texts, several of them are finishing up activities out of the house and are doing their best to hurry back. Taehyung never answered at all. Jungkook knows that he’s in his room, he hasn’t left since this morning. It’s driving Jungkook insane, the waiting and uncertainty. Tae said he wasn’t leaving, but this sure feels a lot like a break up.

He hears a noise from down the hall and he sits up straight, craning his neck for a glimpse of who it might be. Taehyung and Jin walk side-by-side in silence. Jin sits next to Jungkook while Tae opts to sit on the opposite side of the room and avoid looking either of them in the eye. Jin is the one who decides to break the silence.

“Is this what the meeting is about, Jungkook?”

“What do you mean, hyung?”

“Clearly something is wrong between you and Tae, did Joonie call the meeting so we could discuss it and help you work through it.”

“No, of course not! We can handle our own issues, we don’t know any more information about this than you do.”

They’re interrupted when Jimin and Yoongi come through the door with beaming smiles on their faces. Jungkook’s spirits lift a little, maybe the meeting is for something positive. Why else would they look so happy? They barely get their shoes off when Hobi bounds in behind them, throwing an arm around each and giggling. The three walk over and settle themselves on the couches.

“So! Why are we all here? Does anyone know?”

“Hob-ah, we need to wait for Joon.”

“Ooooh, Yoongi-hyung knows what this is about! Come on, spill the beans! I bet I can guess.”

“I bet you can guess a small portion, but that portion is not the main part of the meeting. Which will probably shock you all and I need to know you’ll let anyone speaking finish what they have to say before you pounce. So shut it, Hoseok.”

Hobi sticks his tongue out at Yoongi and turns to lay upside down with his legs thrown over the back of the couch, trying to lighten the mood. Only Jimin and Yoongi give him small smiles, unable to resist him moreso than any of the other members.

The front door opens and Namjoon walks in with Dae-Hyun trailing behind him. The brunette looks worse for the wear. His eyes are bright red and still brimming with tears. His shaking hands are wringing against each other and he won’t look at anyone. Jungkook immediately jumps from his seat and so does Taehyung. They run over to comfort their new friend, shocked to see him here in such a state, but Namjoon puts up a hand to hold them back.

“No. Leave him alone and go sit down.”

The leader's stern tone makes them realize this might be more serious than they thought. They both return to their seats to wait. Namjoon goes to the kitchen table and grabs a chair for Dae-Hyun, pushing him down into it at the “head” of the circle before he himself takes a seat in the armchair on the opposite side.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. Dae-Hyun is going to tell us a story. You’re going to let him finish the entire thing before you say a single word. Then I’m going to tell you about the meeting we just had. After that, you may give your input. I’m very serious about this. Hear the man out. Is there anything anyone needs to share with the group before we start?”

Namjoon shoots a look over to Jimin and Jungkook sees his face split into a smile that can only be described as ecstatic. He stands up and after a beat so does Yoongi. They walk to the center of the circle and interlace their fingers, sharing a look of conspiratorial glee.

“Yoongi-hyung and I know what story Dae-Hyun is going to be sharing and we play a role in it. It’s something very serious, but what we have to say as a precursor is kind of amazing.”

“Jimin and I are in love. We want to be together and we want your support.”

Hobi lets out an unintelligible screech and launches himself across the room at the two, the momentum knocking them all to the ground where he continues to wiggle around on top of them.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Jin-hyung you owe me dinner!”

Jin rolls his eyes, but is wearing a fond smile. Jungkook meets Taehyung’s eyes across the circle. He’d been looking at Jimin with glee, but once he looked at Jungkook, the smile had dropped from his face. Now he just looked sad, forlorn, melancholy. Jungkook can’t stand it and looks back at the trio rolling around on the floor with a half-hearted chuckle. Yoongi has been trying to escape since Hobi first ran at them.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough Hob-ah! Let them up! Needless to say, we all support this and couldn’t be happier about it, but now we need to get into serious business.”

“Sorry Joonie, I’m just so glad I don’t have to keep watching this push and pull any longer.”

“Dae-Hyun, the floor is yours.”

Dae-Hyun starts to talk about getting the job at BigHit, being approached by someone at the Big 3, getting close to all of them, stealing the note off of Jungkook’s corkboard and then leaving it on his door in Taiwan. It’s taking everything in Jungkook to not look at Taehyung, to not stand up and say something, to not yell and scream. His respect for Namjoon is the only thing that’s keeping him glued to his seat. He goes on to explain walking in on Yoongi and Jimin in Osaka, confessing his feelings to Jimin and kissing him, and coming clean to Namjoon. As soon as he mentions Jimin, Jungkook can see Yoongi start to turn red and he’s suddenly nervous. They all remember the anger issues that he used to deal with and no one has any desire to see that kind of rage again.

“I suppose I’d like to end the story with an apology, though that seems highly inadequate. There’s no excuse for what I did. I can only promise you that I never did anything with the note other than leave it for Jungkook, I was hoping it would be a sign for him to stay alert and discreet. Instead it had a terrible ripple effect. I’ve really come to like you all and you’re incredibly inspiring people. The last thing I want is for anything bad to happen to any of you.”

Yoongi scoffs and stands up as if to start towards Dae-Hyun, but Namjoon stands up and shoots him a glare. He grumbles under his breath and sits back down.

“Dae-Hyun. Thank you for not keeping anything from them. I appreciate your candor. Now, it’s my turn. Dae-Hyun and I just came from Bang’s office where he relayed the entire story. Essentially the company has decided to turn Dae-Hyun into a ‘double agent’. He doesn’t know the real name of his contact and therefore doesn’t know what company has decided to attack us this way. They worked together to form a plan to hopefully bring down whoever is behind it all. In exchange, BigHit will help his mother.”

“In exchange?! How on earth does he still deserve anything in return?!”

“Yoongi-hyung. I asked you to wait to talk. You may be my elder, but I’m the leader here and this is band business. No matter what Dae-Hyun has done, his mother doesn’t deserve to die just because he has a conscience. That’s enough.”

The room falls silent, it’s rare that Namjoon pulls rank on his hyungs. No one knows quite how to react and just waits for the leader to finish as he requested.

“I’m not privy to every detail of the deal that was made, apparently in order for it to work we have to be kept partially in the dark as if we never knew anything about any of this to begin with. The portion I do know is that Dae-Hyun will continue to work with us and we need to make it seem as if he’s still hanging out with us socially as well. Whether in a group or individually, he needs to be shown as growing closer to us. I’ll open the floor to everyone. Thoughts?”

“I don’t want to be anywhere near him,” Taehyung whispers under his breath and Jungkook can only nod in agreement. He’s unable to force out any words.

“I’m sure it would look most natural if Jiminie started seeing him again, but I don’t think any of us want them alone together,” Jin points out and Yoongi lets out what can only be described as a feral growl.

“Excuse me, I can make my own choices and speak for myself. Uncomfortable as it may be, I can start talking to Dae-Hyun at work again and maybe meeting for coffee in public or something similar. Stopping whoever is trying to bring us down needs to be the priority. We’ve got two couples to protect now,” Jimin interjects.

It’s almost as if something in Yoongi snaps. He stands up from his chair, grabs Dae-Hyun by the collar, and drags him out of the room and into the hallway. He ignores everyone’s protests and barrels out the front door with the other man trying to keep up with his grip.

********

The rest of the group discusses the issue a bit more, with Jimin trying to call Yoongi and getting no answer. Taehyung asks if they’re dismissed and the second Namjoon starts to nod he hightails it back to his room and locks the door. He’s sure everyone else wants to talk more, but he needs to process what just happened.

Someone who meant something to Jimin, who they all went out of their way to befriend, almost ended their entire lives. He can’t decide if it makes him want to cling tightly to Jungkook and savor every second possible in case their demise is on the horizon, or if he wants to run now to spare them the scandal later. He’s never felt so conflicted.

He slides down to the floor, back against the door and head in his hands. He just wishes he could shut off his brain. Jungkook can. He can compartmentalize in a way that amazes Taehyung. He’d give up everything if it meant his mind would never eat him alive again. He’s breathing slowly in the pattern that Yoongi taught him for panic attacks when he hears the soft strains of music coming from the other side of the door. He frowns and wonders where it’s coming from when he hears a familiar voice start to sing.

Lately I've been thinkin', thinkin' 'bout what we had I know it was hard, it was all that we knew, yeah Have you been drinkin' to take all the pain away? I wish that I could give you what you deserve

A lump forms in Taehyung’s throat hearing Jungkook’s soft and sad voice push the lyrics through the door. He can tell that he’s similarly sitting on the floor, the voice on the same level as his head. He presses his ear to the door to listen.

There's nothing like us There's nothing like you and me Together through the storm There's nothing like us There's nothing like you and me together

Taehyung wants nothing more than to open the door and wrap Jungkook in his arms, dry his tears, and tell him everything is going to be okay. He can’t bring himself to reach for the knob, he knows if he gives in now they’ll be in more danger than if they call it quits now. He hasn’t even had the time to process Jungkook lying to him for weeks. He starts to stand up to walk over to his bed and bury himself under the covers when he hears the song come to an end and sees a piece of paper with Jungkook’s handwriting slide underneath his door. He picks it up and the words make his heart stop in his chest.

I love you.

********

Yoongi has dragged Dae-hyun down the hallway to a secluded alcove where no one lived and backed him up against the wall. He’s doing his best to regain his composure, trying to focus on the raw despair in the other man’s eyes, but he can’t stop imagine his lips touching Jimin’s. His lips. His flower. Jimin must have been so scared.

He punches the wall next to Dae-Hyun’s head instead and the man doesn’t even flinch. That’s when it clicks for Yoongi that he understands he’d deserve a beating right now and is willing to take it. He’s a broken shell of a man who was desperate to save his mother’s life. He made all the wrong choices along the way and fell in love. No, he shouldn’t have kissed Jimin and Yoongi doesn’t know if he can ever get past that, but he sees no malice in the man in front of him.

“You really didn’t want to do this to us, did you?”

“No. I was uncomfortable from the start, but would’ve done anything for my mother. Once I realized how amazing you all are, I knew I should never have accepted the job in the first place. I know that you’ll all hate me indefinitely and I deserve that. I don’t deserve the company’s offer to help my mother, but she doesn’t deserve to die because of me either. I’m willing to accept jail time for blackmail if that’s what’s decided. I’ll take whatever punishment is deemed necessary.”

The hard shell around Yoongi cracks just a bit. He’s finding it hard to feel hatred for this man, even if he absolutely feels anger and is fairly sure he’ll never like him again. Maybe this is the growth everyone talks about in regards to his temper. In the past, nothing was ever able to cut through it.

“Alright. Go home for now. We’re all going to talk and we’ll be in touch. I don’t know if I want you with Jimin by yourselves, but we’ll sort it out amongst us.”

“Thank you, Yoongi-hyung. I am at your mercy.”

The man bows low as Yoongi backs up and looks just the tiniest bit lighter. He turns to walk down the hall, but Yoongi calls after him to say one more thing.

“If my relationship with Jimin comes out in any way or Taehyung and Jungkook’s, I won’t be this kind. I will hunt you down and I will make you sorry you messed with my family.”

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 8: So Please Tell Me It's Alright In This Uneasy Mist

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, goal for 100k

Chapter Summary:

Hongjoong’s face goes cold and still as a statue. He gives San a look that makes him want to shrink to the size of an ant and scurry away. He knows he spoke disrespectfully and he pushed a little too hard, but how could they go on tour with this hanging over them? Really he can’t stand seeing Seonghwa so upset all the time. His hyung takes care of him when Wooyoung is hurting him, he needs to return the favor. It feels like the room has been silent for hours, but he knows it’s only been a few minutes when Hongjoong finally speaks.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

The summer flies by faster than Wooyoung expects. Their schedules are packed with appearances and promotions from the comeback. They have fun on variety shows and joke with interviewers, but it reminds him that he’d like to get better at English. He feels embarrassed when he’s asked questions in English and he has to look to Hongjoong or San to translate and prompt him with the right words to say in response. He worries that it makes him look like he’s stupid when he knows he’s an intelligent man.

Despite all they have going on he’s been finding him to hang out with Changbin and Yeonjun, sneaking out to go to parties that other idols are throwing. They make sure to pull their hats low and their masks high until they get to whatever dorm is hosting that night’s bash. He always tells the members who he’s going out with, but he keeps what they’re actually doing together a secret. The others wouldn’t approve of him drinking and partying with so many people so often, but he figures he’s only young and he’s an idol now. Isn’t this the point?

It’s at one of these parties that he meets Soomin. She catches his eye in the middle of the dance floor in the living room of whatever dorm they happen to be in. He makes his way over to her and holds out his hand and her dazzling smile makes his stomach swoop. She takes his hand and he twirls her around like a ballerina, watching her hair fly as she turns. He’s captivated by the way her body moves, she’s clearly a dancer like him. They dance for hours until they’re both pouring with sweat and out of breath, she gestures with her head over to a couch that has a coffee table in front of it stacked with water bottles.

He follows her over and sits down, cracking open two bottles of water and handing one to her. They both drain the entire thing in one go and laugh together. It’s only then that they introduce themselves. She is a trainee at a small company like his and she apologizes that she hasn’t heard of ATEEZ, but he reassures her that they’re still rookies and he finds her embarrassment cute. They get to talking about everything: music, training as an idol, dancing, their families, their hobbies, the other idols they look up to and where they hope their careers will lead them.

The party starts to die down and Wooyoung realizes he has spent the entire night with Soomin. He hasn’t seen Yeonjun and Changbin once since they walked in. He pulls his phone from his pocket and sees a message in the group chat from Yeonjun telling him that they left early and teasing him about being glued to Soomin. He doesn’t even care, the tingling rush of connecting with someone is all that he can focus on right now. Idols almost never get this chance and he’s not going to waste it.

He holds his phone out to Soomin and asks her to put her number in and when she takes the phone from his hand and their fingers brush together he feels a warmth spread in his chest. He watches her delicate fingers typing on his phone and a wide grin crosses his face. She’s beautiful. She hands him his phone back and he smiles at her and promises to call, standing up to leave, but she stops him with a hand on his wrist. Soomin stands up next to him and rises up on her tiptoes, eyes darting between his lips and his eyes. He’s suddenly nervous and he leans down and presses his lips to hers, soft and tentative. She puts her weight into it and returns his kiss with more force, smiling against his mouth.

Wooyong pulls away and looks at her face, lips pink from the kiss. He brings a hand up and runs it across her face, smiling as he leans in and gives her another quick, soft kiss. He reaches down and laces their fingers together, following the crowd out of the dorm to head home. He takes her as far as her car and presses a kiss to her cheek, watching her leave and feeling giddy. He immediately pulls out his phone and sends her a text.

********

July disappears in a haze of practices, game shows, promotions, and performances. San is physically and mentally exhausted. He’s glad that he has at least found a balance in his life now. Telling Yunho about his feelings for Wooyoung was the best choice he could have made. He keeps an eye out and helps San extract himself from situations that are killing him inside. Wooyoung has been spending more and more time with Yeonjun and Changbin and it has given San a bit of a reprieve. Their relationship hasn’t changed, it’s not taking any of Wooyoung’s affection or attention away when they’re together and it makes everything a lot easier for San.

The extra free time without Wooyoung clinging to him has also given him more time to spend with Yunho and Seonghwa. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed his individual bonds with each of them, he’s spent so long drowning himself in Wooyoung that he’s been neglecting everything else. Yunho is easy to please and quick to forgive, but Seonghwa has been struggling. No matter what he tries and no matter what San tries for him, Hongjoong has still been acting odd and not just around Seonghwa, but around everyone. No one can get him to talk. San thought that maybe Yeosang could get through to him since they’d been growing closer, but he’s a closed book.

Their Australia trip is only a week away and San hopes that once they pass that hurdle Hongjoong will unclench a little, for all their sakes. Their first full-length album will drop in October and Thank U made it onto the track list. He knows that they’ll all be overloaded with work finishing the tracks and learning all of the choreography, but he’s positive it will be a good kind of stress for them. The kind of stress they’ve hoped for since the day they were cast by KQ. The stress of a full-length album, of a real comeback, of a rapidly growing fanbase. For Hongjoong, the stress of a song so close to his heart being shown to the world.

San knows that Hongjoong is sitting in their living room fiddling with his computer, changing such minute details in their tracks that no one but him could tell the difference. He decides to go check in with the leader, see if he can get any kind of answer from him. He worries about Hongjoong overdoing it and burning himself, everyone would agree that he’s the hardest worker of them all by a landslide. His talent shines so bright that they all look at him with respect and reverence, but right now his light has dulled. Small cracks in his facade are showing through the attempts to put on a brave face. He needs to talk to someone eventually.

“Hey, hyung! What are you working on?”

“Tweaking Thank U.”

“Again?! It’s perfect, don’t mess with it!”

“ATINY is going to hear this and we’re going to perform it at some point and I want it to be perfect for Hwa.”

“Seonghwa-hyung loves it just as it is. He just loves that you wrote it at all.”

Hongjoong looks up at him with an expression bordering on despair that flashes across his face so quickly that San almost misses it. He grunts before going back to his computer, headphones only on one ear in case San keeps talking.

“Hyung. Can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure, Sannie. Sit down, I’ll just save this quickly.”

San settles himself next to Hongjoong on the couch and watches him fiddle around with a mess of files that seem to have no organization to them at all. He has no idea how anything ever gets found in that chaos. After a moment the leader turns to him, his orange hair pulled up in a ponytail at the crown of his head. San knows his hair color will change again soon, but he really does like the orange.

“Okay, this is hard for me to say, I know you don’t want to hear this over and over, but I need to try anyway. I know something is wrong, you haven’t been yourself in months. You can tell us all endlessly that you’re good or that it’s just stress or whatever new excuse you’ve come up with, but we know you better than that. We’re all worried and Seonghwa-hyung is hurt that you’re hiding something that’s apparently very big from him. Especially after showing him that song. He’s very confused.”

Hongjoong’s face goes cold and still as a statue. He gives San a look that makes him want to shrink to the size of an ant and scurry away. He knows he spoke disrespectfully and he pushed a little too hard, but how could they go on tour with this hanging over them? Really he can’t stand seeing Seonghwa so upset all the time. His hyung takes care of him when Wooyoung is hurting him, he needs to return the favor. It feels like the room has been silent for hours, but he knows it’s only been a few minutes when Hongjoong finally speaks.

“Okay, San-ah. Fine. Everyone has been pestering me and if telling you what’s bothering me is going to make it stop I’ll do it. There’s a reason why I’ve been blowing everyone off when they ask. This is something only you and Hwa can know. I need to know that you won’t tell anyone, not even Wooyoung or Yunho.”

“I would never betray your confidence, hyung. Is it something you want me to tell Seonghwa-hyung? Wouldn’t it be better coming directly from you?”

“No. After you and I talk about this I don’t want to talk about it ever again. You can tell Hwa if you want, but I don’t want him coming to me with it. This is the one and only time this gets discussed. Deal?”

“Um. Well. Yeah, I guess. Deal.”

San is confused and concerned. Hongjoong never acts like this and putting a permanent moratorium on the topic is very odd. He can’t even begin to guess what’s going on, but he finds his stomach flipping like he just crested the highest point of a rollercoaster. Hongjoong takes a deep breath and starts to speak, but is looking at his hands instead of looking up at San.

“A while ago, I don’t even know how long now…I came home from the studio and I wanted to do something nice for Hwa. So I—”

His words are interrupted by the front door opening and a loud voice accompanied by giggles as the sound of shoes being kicked off echoes through the room. Hongjoong looks up at him, his jaw clenched as he meets his eyes and quickly glances towards the entryway instead. Wooyoung stumbles in holding the hand of a girl that San has never seen before. He’s yelling loud enough for the whole dorm to hear him, trying to gather everyone in the living room. At his words San feels like a pit has opened up in his chest, a black hole sucking everything into it without discrimination.

“IF YOU’RE A MEMBER OF ATEEZ YOU HAD BETTER GET OUT HERE AND MEET MY GIRLFRIEND!”

********

Seonghwa hates learning English. It’s too difficult for his head to wrap around properly, he doesn’t know how Hongjoong and San pick it up so easily. He can read it pretty easily, but then he gets to lessons where he has to speak or has to listen to someone else speak and he’s completely lost. It’s as if everything he’s been studying flies out of his head at those moments. He’s frustratingly erasing an answer on a worksheet when he hears yelling coming from the common area. He rolls his eyes and writes it off as the dongsaengs getting too rowdy. He returns to the lesson in front of him, but freezes when he actually catches the words being yelled over and over.

“ATEEZ! ATEEZ! Get your asses out here and meet my girlfriend! And sorry hyungs for the disrespect, but LET’S GOOOOO”

Seonghwa is positive he didn’t hear that right. That’s Wooyoung’s voice and he said something about a girlfriend? How is that even possible? When do any of them have time to date and how could they ever find a partner who is okay with their insane schedules? He saves his place in his textbook by tucking his worksheet into the page and closing it. He scrambles off the bed and rushes to his door, stopping in his tracks when he sees the scene in the living room. Wooyoung is standing at the entryway holding a girl’s hand with Mingi and Jongho chattering to them both wildly. Hongjoong and San are sitting on the couch, San watching the scene and Hongjoong watching San. Yunho and Yeosang are nowhere to be seen yet.

Instead of walking towards Wooyoung to introduce himself to the young woman like he should as the eldest, he heads to the couch where San and Hongjoong are sitting. As he gets closer he can really see the look on San’s face and his heart sinks. The younger man looks like a child who was shown a horror movie far too young. His pain is written across his face in such a naked manner that Hongjoong is trained on him like he’s inspecting a painting. He quickly glances at Seonghwa, brows furrowing and giving him a slight nod before looking back to San. He slowly stands up and heads over to Wooyoung, introducing himself to their guest.

Seonghwa takes Hongjoong’s seat on the couch and reaches out to grab one of San’s hands, thumb rubbing along his wrist which he knows always helps calm him down. He finally looks away from the group in the foyer and meets his eyes. His eyes are glassy and shining, his teeth clenched around his lips likely to keep them from trembling. He’s clearly doing everything he can to keep himself from crying. Seonghwa makes an impulsive decision and leans forward to whisper in San’s ear.

“I’m going to get you out of this, hold on, okay?”

He pulls back and San just nods at him with a broken look on his face. Seonghwa gets up and walks over to the group fawning over the news, everyone now present and introducing themselves. He finally gets a good look at the girl and she’s very pretty, as he listens to her talk he can see that she’s polite and friendly. A rather good match for Wooyoung.

“Hi, welcome to our home! I’m Park Seonghwa.”

“Thank you for allowing me here, I know it takes a lot of trust to allow outside people into idols’ dorms. I’m Ya Soomin.”

“Well, Wooyoung kind of sprung you on us as a surprise, but I’m sure you know that that’s very in-character for him.”

“I told him to check with everyone first! Wooyoung!”

Soomin playfully swats Wooyoung on the shoulder and he just laughs and wraps an arm around her waist. Seonghwa winces at the sight and thinks about San waiting behind him. Before he has a chance to make up a story to distract everyone, Wooyoung does the worst thing he possibly could at this moment. His eyes frantically search the room until they land on San on the couch, looking down at his hands completely still.

“Sannnniiiieeee! What’s taking so long? Come meet Soomin!”

San doesn’t look up, doesn’t move a muscle. He’s completely stationary, focusing hard on his hands, and Seonghwa knows that if he looks up his face will give away everything.

“Actually Wooyoung-ah, San is very sick and he’s fighting hard not to lose his dinner right now. I told him to focus on deep breaths and I’d take him to bed once I met Soomin. He can meet her some other time, he needs to rest right now.”

“What? San-ah, you’re sick? Let me help.”

“It’s alright, Woo. I’ve got him. You get Soomin acquainted with everyone! There will be other times for them to meet.”

Wooyoung’s face is creased with worry and Soomin is watching him in the same exact way. Is she worried about how upset Wooyoung is or is she feeling like he’s now more concerned about San than her? It doesn’t matter, what matters is getting San the hell out of here. He nods his head to Soomin before turning around and hauling San up, draping one of his arms around his shoulder and helping him walk out of the room as if he’s actually sick. It doesn’t take much effort to fake, San is barely responsive and dragging his feet as it is. They get to his and Yunho’s room and he collapses onto his bed and finally breaks.

“Seonghwa! What the fuck! I know I’m speaking rudely, but right now I think it should be allowed.”

“You’re fine, San-ah. We drop honorifics when we’re alone. Speak freely.”

“A girlfriend! He brought her home! He wants me to meet her and interact with her and watch them hug and cuddle and kiss and oh my god what if I hear them having sex and he won’t need any skinship from me anymore because he has her and now we know he’s definitely straight and was he lying about being out with Yeonjun and Changbin how long has this been happening has he been lying to me the whole time what is—”

“San! You’re babbling and not making any sense. Sort out your thoughts, you’re spiraling.”

Something in San lets go and the tears finally spill down his face, accompanied by a sound so painful that it brings tears to the backs of Seonghwa’s eyes as well. It’s a wail of mourning, audible despair. He can’t bear it and he rushes to San, wrapping his arms around the sobbing man. He moves him to sit up so he can peel the covers back and tucks them both in, spooning himself around San’s broad heaving shoulders. There’s nothing he can say to him, there’s no way to make this better, there’s no way to ease this pain. All he can do is try to hold him together in one piece.

********

Hongjoong barely registers the conversation happening around him. All the members minus San and Seonghwa are sitting at the kitchen table with leftovers spread out around them as they talk to Soomin and get to know her. She’s a nice enough girl and somehow Wooyoung bounces off the walls a little bit less with her here. He’s not sure if that’s her impact on him or he’s trying to hold himself back because the relationship is new. Either way, Hongjoong appreciates the change even if it’s temporary.

He thinks the others are asking her about what the company she’s training at is like and comparing it to KQ, but his head is somewhere else. Seonghwa introducing himself to Soomin just to then drag a limp San out of the room has set off alarm bells in his head. He was about to tell San that he caught them kissing and Wooyoung, as always, burst into the room at precisely the wrong time. Now though, Hongjoong thinks it may have been the exact right time. Why on earth was he considering telling San? Just because of the nuisance of being checked on all the time?

He thought maybe the kiss was a one-time thing, a blunder while Senonghwa was clearly emotional and crying. He didn’t stay to see what happened next. Maybe San put a stop to it. Maybe Seonghwa immediately realized what he’d done and apologized and they put it behind them. Hongjoong has been watching them lately and they’ve been hanging out as always, but the vibe between them has changed. It made him think that he’d blown the kiss out of proportion. He’d thought maybe if he told San they could laugh about it and put it behind them.

Then Wooyoung had come in and Hongjoong’s perception of the situation was thrown for a loop. Seonghwa had lied to everyone. San wasn’t sick, Hongjoong was sitting with him and he was fine. They put on some sort of show to leave to San’s room together privately. What did that mean? What’s happening in that room? Why did Seonghwa take San away? Why didn’t San introduce himself to his best friend’s girlfriend? Sure, they’re all shocked at the concept of any of them having a partner, but it shouldn’t have been that severe.

What about San’s demeanor when Wooyoung walked in? His face changed in a way that Hongjoong had never seen before. It was almost a mix between being punched in the gut and watching a horrific car crash happen right in front of you. Why would San be so upset? Seonghwa had come over and looked at them both, his face creased with worry. How many secrets do they have? Every time Hongjoong thinks he understands what’s going on and makes his peace with it, a monkey wrench is thrown in. He still doesn’t know why any of it bothers him anyway. His best theory is the lying, the secrets, the sneaking around. He’s the leader and he needs to know what’s going on with his members. More than that, he’s Seonghwa’s best friend, they walk through the world together.

He can’t take it anymore and stands up, excusing himself claiming work needs to be done. That’s a reason that everyone has grown to accept, their leader will always be a workaholic. He tells Soomin how nice it was to meet her and that she’s welcome back anytime and she flashes him a dazzling smile. There’s a matching one on Wooyoung’s face at the words and all Hongjoong can think is how beautiful the pair is, individually and together. The picture perfect couple.

He smiles to himself as he leaves and walks down the hall towards San and Yunho’s room, his lips curving up ever-so-slightly. He wants his members to be happy and this seems like something that will be so good for Wooyoung, maybe it will even help him mature a bit. He knocks on San’s door, wanting to check on him and finish their conversation. It’s time to get this off his chest before it buries him. There’s no answer and he’s concerned. He walks away towards his and Seonghwa’s room and the door is propped open with no one inside. They must both be in San’s room, but why wouldn’t they be opening the door.

He tries to knock again, announcing that it’s him because he knows that no matter what they’re doing, the members always open the door for their leader. Still no answer and there is no sound coming from inside the room. He turns the doorknob and opens the door, taking a few steps into the room and freezing when he glances at San’s bed.

San and Seonghwa are fast asleep. San is curled into the fetal position, one hand’s fingers laced with Seonghwa’s and the other hand resting on top of them. He’s hugging the hands to his chest like they’re one of his plushies. San can never fall asleep without a plushie, but here he is resting peacefully. He follows the line of Seonghwa’s arm leading away from their joined hands and its draped over San’s ribcage. Their bodies are flush, chest to back, legs tangled together if the lumps under the blanket are any indication. Seonghwa’s nose is tucked into the nape of San’s neck and he looks angelic with the sharp angles of his face so relaxed.

Hongjoong feels a fire burning in his chest. Sharing a bed is something only he and Seonghwa do together. It’s their special thing for when Hongjoong is having a tough night. He’s so selective about skinship, he really doesn’t like to be mindlessly touched, but he lets Seonghwa hold him at night. Now he realizes it doesn’t mean to Seonghwa what it means to him. Does the pair sleep like this every night when they room together on tour? Tour. They’re in Australia next week and San and Seonghwa will be rooming together again. It’s too late now to make a switch, they’ve been cracking down on switching room assignments. Goddamned New York, it ruined everything. Why did Seonghwa have to swap with Yeosang in the first place?

Yeosang. That’s what he needs right now, his dongsaeng’s blunt but logical words. He’ll be able to help Hongjoong sort out this hot, sour feeling climbing up his throat. He realizes he’s been standing there staring at the two sleeping men for far too long and quietly backs out of the room. When the door clicks shut behind him he presses his back against it and leans his head back, looking at the ceiling. What is going on in this dorm? Why are there so many secrets? What’s going on with San and Seonghwa? Why is San avoiding Soomin? How long has Wooyoung had a girlfriend and how has he been hiding it, has he been lying about where he’s going?

Hongjoong considers going into Yeosang and Wooyoung’s room and waiting for Yeosang to return so they can talk, but he realizes that Wooyoung might want to bring Soomin there instead and cringes. He makes his way to his and Seonghwa’s room instead, closing the door behind him and throwing himself on the bed. They’ll be in Australia in a week and he’ll have time to talk to Yeosang then, that will give him plenty of time to try and process his thoughts so he doesn’t incoherently word vomit all over him.

When did everything start changing around here?

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 19: Save Me, I Am Being Punished

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 196k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

Jungkook looks down at his lap, embarrassed. He knows that Yoongi is right, he always is. He may be a bit blunt, but it needed to be heard. He hears a throat clear and looks up to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, hand on the doorknob. They were so wrapped up in their conversation they somehow didn’t hear him come in. They’d set a rule about no longer needing to knock once they’d gotten back together. Jungkook wonders now if that was a good idea.

“What exactly have you been keeping from me, Jungkook?”

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

The next day, Jungkook hears a knock at his door and jumps out of bed, knowing that it has to be Taehyung. He considers opening the door naked, giving his boyfriend a thrill, but decides against it in case anyone else is walking by. He swings the door open with a grin on his face and stops in his tracks when he sees Yoongi.

“Hyung! What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in and talk, Jungkook?”

“Of course, but Taehyung is on his way home from practice so he may interrupt us depending on how long of a conversation this is.”

“That’s fine. This is important. Namjoon talked to me about what happened to you in Taiwan. Don’t be upset with him, he didn’t have much of a choice after he met with the company again. He needed someone to bounce ideas off of.”

“I’m not upset. I trust Namjoonie-hyung, I know he wouldn’t break my confidence unless it was necessary and you don’t really count. I usually tell you everything. What did the company say?”

“‘They gave him a list of people who they believe to be suspects. The issue is…one of them is Dae-Hyun.”

“That’s silly. It can’t be him.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily discount the possibility, but the reason I’m telling you this is I should really talk to Jimin about that. Dae-Hyun is his friend and he needs to decide how he feels about it and whether he should send him a warning about being investigated. I didn’t want to tell him without your permission.”

“I appreciate that, hyung. You can talk to Jiminie. I really should have told everyone at the beginning, but Namjoon-hyung told me to let him handle it first.”

“That leads me to my other question, did you tell Taehyung? I’ve spent a lot of time with him working on The Truth Untold and I’m surprised he didn’t bring it up unless you asked him not to.”

“I-I didn’t tell him. His biggest fear has always been exposure and the fallout that would bring. Things have been so great, I couldn’t bring myself to shatter it.”

“Kook, that’s a bit selfish of you. He deserves to know, it impacts him directly. Relationships are not fairy tales. They’re conflict and hard work and struggle sometimes. You have to communicate and sometimes you have to deal with strife. What matters is how you pull through things as a unit.”

Jungkook looks down at his lap, embarrassed. He knows that Yoongi is right, he always is. He may be a bit blunt, but it needed to be heard. He hears a throat clear and looks up to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, hand on the doorknob. They were so wrapped up in their conversation they somehow didn’t hear him come in. They’d set a rule about no longer needing to knock once they’d gotten back together. Jungkook wonders now if that was a good idea.

“What exactly have you been keeping from me, Jungkook?”

********

Jimin is stretching in a practice room when Yoongi finds him. He stands up to plant a kiss on his lips and frowns when he sees the serious look on his face. This must not be a happy visit. Jimin starts to feel jittery, he doesn’t want anything else thrown at him right now.

“Hey Jiminie, sit down for a second, okay?”

“O-okay, come over to sit on the mat with me.”

“I want you to listen to the entire story before you react, alright? Don’t panic.”

“You’re scaring me, hyung. What’s going on?”

“In Taiwan, someone left a note on Jungkook’s hotel room door. It was essentially proof of his relationship with Taehyung, something taken from Jungkook’s dorm room. He panicked and went to Namjoon with it. Namjoon sat down with Bang and private investigators were hired to look into who was with us in Taiwan and also had access to the dorm. Yesterday, he gave Namjoon seven names. One of those names was Dae-Hyun.”

Jimin’s stomach drops at the name of his former friend. Before that phone call he would have insisted that it was impossible, but Dae-Hyun had sounded distraught and said he had something important to talk about. What if he was going to confess to something that involves that note?

“Wait, how did Namjoon-hyung talk to Bang about the note? Isn’t that exposing the relationship to the company?”

“Namjoon went to bat for the boys a little while ago and Bang agreed to let them date and let them continue their normal fanservice.”

“That’s…kind of amazing. Do you think that would be extended to us too?”

“I’m not sure, Jiminie. We need to tell the others first, but right now we need to focus on this Jungkook issue. He has been terrified and I don’t know what you want to do with this information. Do you think Dae-Hyun could have done this?”

“I don’t know. Recently he called me and essentially ‘broke up’ with me, telling me that he really likes us all and that I deserve much better. He tried to explain why, but I hung up on him. I didn’t want to hear his excuses. He also approached me at Gocheok to try to explain and I blew him off then too.”

“Why would he do that out of the blue? Is that why you’ve been weird lately?”

“I thought I was hiding it pretty well, but yes. Everyone leaves, Yoongi. I’m exhausted. I have no idea why he did it but I suppose I should have let him explain. I’ll see if he can meet me tonight and maybe it’ll give us some insight into whether he’s involved in the scandal. If I feel he’s definitely not, I’ll warn him he’s being investigated. It’s the right thing to do.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. Can you just sit with me for awhile?”

Jimin curls his body into Yoongi’s and they both fall backwards, intertwining completely. This is the only place Jimin feels safe anymore, in the arms of the man he loves. He knows they have more hurdles ahead of them, but he’s positive he can do anything with Yoongi holding his hand.

********

“I’m waiting for an answer, Jungkook.”

Taehyung is sitting at Jungkook’s desk, staring at his boyfriend still sitting on the bed and refusing to meet his eyes. He didn’t catch all of his conversation with Yoongi, but it’s clear that Jungkook has been lying about something and it has to do with being outed. Taehyung feels like he’s going to crawl out of his skin. He’s not sure if he’s more upset about the secrecy or the threat to their livelihood.

“Tae, I-I wasn’t trying to keep secrets. Namjoon-hyung advised keeping it to myself for now, so I did.”

“No, you don’t get to pass the blame over to him. You’re your own person. I know you look up to him, but that doesn’t mean he’s always right. This isn’t how relationships work, Jungkook. You need to talk to me. This won’t work if you can’t communicate.”

“Okay. Well. When we were in Taiwan, I left my room to head to yours after hanging out with Dae-Hyun like we’d planned, but there was something taped to my door. It was the note you left on my pillow after our reconciliation. I’d pinned it to the corkboard in my dorm room. Yet it was somehow taped to my door in Taiwan. I panicked and went to Namjoon-hyung immediately.”

“What?! Jungkook, how could you keep something like that from me?! That is a huge deal and it impacts us both. We’re being blackmailed! Or threatened! Or who knows what! We need to deal with this.”

Taehyung starts to hyperventilate and his body breaks out in a cold sweat. He feels lightheaded and fuzzy. He puts his head between his knees and takes as many deep breaths as he can. He can’t have a panic attack right now.

“Tae, it’s being handled. The day that Namjoonie-hyung went to Bang and got permission for us to be together, he told him about the note. Bang had a private investigator make a list of suspects and they’re all being watched now. All members of our staff…except one is Dae-Hyun.”

“Dae-Hyun? No. It’s not him. Jimin would be crushed. He can’t know that unless it becomes a sure thing.”

“It’s too late, Yoongi-hyung is with him right now filling him in. It’s important that Jimin knows, Tae.”

“He’s not going to take it well. Fuck. Everything is such a mess. Jungkook, I need some space. I don’t know how I’m feeling right now, I just know I’m fighting off a panic attack. I need to think about all of this. I can’t believe you kept all of this from me, especially when you know my fears about this exact scenario.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything, I was trying to protect you.”

“No, you were scared. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have been, but you didn’t keep it a secret for my sake. I deserved to be told. Love is putting each other first. Love is honesty and communication. Love is selflessness and respect.”

“L-love?”

“Forget it, wrong choice of words. The point is that I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship that isn’t built on honesty and trust.”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No, I’m not leaving you. I’m just leaving the situation for a while. I’m so upset with you, I don’t want to be around you right now. Just give me some space.”

Taehyung storms out of the room, trying to ignore the sob he hears break from Jungkook’s chest behind him. Every cell in his body wants to run to him and cuddle the pain away. He knows he can’t. He needs to be strong right now and take this stand. If they’re going to have any chance of making this work, Jungkook needs to understand why this isn’t okay. Taehyung closes himself in his room and hides his face under his pillow.

He finally lets go and his body starts to violently shake. What’s going to happen to them? What does this mystery person want? This could bring the sky crashing down on all of them. They’ve been so selfish choosing their relationship over the well-being of everyone else. He doesn’t want to be the reason everyone’s lives get ruined.

He can feel the edges of his vision going dark, he usually hates this part. Yoongi taught him how to work through his panic attacks so that he doesn’t pass out, but this time he half wants the darkness to engulf him. It seems better than sitting here letting his mind run wild. He surrenders, falling into blissful silence.

********

After he fulfills the rest of his schedule and eats dinner, Jimin returns to the practice room at the company building. Dae-Hyun had agreed to meet him to talk, but he didn’t want to invite him to the dorm. This conversation will be painful no matter what it entails and Jimin really doesn’t want to deal with it. He’s doing this for Jungkook and Tae, he doesn’t care what reasoning he hears. He’s not going to agree to rekindle the friendship.

He hears a knock on the door and looks over, forgetting that he pulled down the privacy curtain. He stands up out of his chair and goes to open it, his palms clammy. He’s trying not to show how nervous he is, but he knows his emotions are always written all over his face. He takes a deep breath and opens the door to see Dae-Hyun standing there. His hair is a fresh shade of brown, replacing the bleach blond that he had the day they met. Jimin prefers the blond.

“Hi. Come in.”

“Thank you for agreeing to talk, Jimin-ssi. I can’t begin to explain how grateful I felt when I saw your name pop up on my phone.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m willing to hear you out, but I can’t promise you it will change anything at all. You completely bailed on me out of the blue. You didn’t have the respect to say it to my face.”

“I was worried if I saw you, I’d never be able to go through with it. I’m sorry, Jimin. I think I was right, looking at you now I’m mad at myself for ruining our relationship. I have a lot to tell you, but I don’t know where to start.”

“Start with the most important part first.”

Dae-hyun nods, looking completely unsettled. He’s jumpy and jittery, wringing his hands together. He opens his mouth several times, but snaps it shut before any words come out. Jimin is starting to feel irritated. This is the other man’s chance to be truthful and he can’t seem to manage it. He turns to sit back in one of the chairs and wait, impatient and growing angrier by the second. He only makes it a few steps before he feels a hand on his arm stopping him. He turns around to Dae-Hyun standing very close to him with silent tears running down his cheeks.

The emotion painted across his face is raw and real. Jimin melts a little and reaches his hands up to wipe the tears away. Dae-Hyun’s hands come up to cover his and he leans forward, pressing their lips together. Jimin freezes like a deer in headlights, unsure of what to do and completely thrown off guard. He doesn’t move a muscle, hoping the other man will recognize the awkwardness and back off. He can’t seem to bring himself to push him off. Thankfully, the clear discomfort separates the two. Jimin immediately wipes a sleeve across his mouth.

“What the hell, Dae-Hyun?”

“I’m-I’m so sorry Jimin-ssi. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. You’re incredible. I watch you work your ass off, I’ve listened to you talk about your incredibly brave past, I’ve watched you dance on stage like you’re water in human form. You mesmerize me and I knew that if I saw you again something like this would happen, I figured leaving was the better option. I’m not a good person, Jimin. I’m not the person you deserve. I know that, but I was selfish and kissed you anyway. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re right, that was selfish. That wasn’t explaining anything to me. Did you leave because you have feelings and I don’t? I could have understood that. It wouldn’t have changed the way I cared for you as a friend. Everyone was really starting to connect with you and you just entirely cut yourself off from us. You may have shit to work through, but you’re not a bad person.”

“I wish that was true, Jimin-ssi. I’ve done some terrible things and it’s time I came clean about them. The story starts with my family. My mother is dying of cancer and we can’t afford the treatment. I’ve changed jobs so much so I could try and find any way possible to pay to save her life. Eventually, I was approached by one of the Big 3 companies with a proposition. They’d cover every penny of my mother’s treatment if I could uncover a gay relationship within BTS. They had heard enough rumors to be certain that there was something going on.”

Jimin’s eyes widen in horror and he feels tears heavy at the back of his eyes. Everything he knows about Dae-hyun was a lie. A persona to gain their trust…and it worked. They’re all so fucking naive.

“So how much of this was even real? The friendships? The time spent with the others individually? Why kiss me after all that? Is everything you do just a manipulation tactic to get the information you want?”

“Everything was real. I was the real me. That’s why I was so grateful when you all took me in, I felt like I finally had the possibility of having a true group of friends. That’s why I bailed, I couldn’t do this anymore. You’re all such amazing people and I couldn’t continue to spy on you. It got out of hand in Taiwan. Do you remember the night I got too drunk at the dorm and slept in Jungkook’s room. There was a love note from Taehyung pinned to the corkboard and it seemed like hitting the jackpot. I pocketed it and then when I went to Jungkook’s hotel room in Taiwan to have drinks, I stuck it to the door before I entered. I think that was my attempt to warn him and show that I wasn’t going to play the company’s game anymore.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Warn him? Show you’re suddenly a good person? That note devastated Jungkook and it caused ripples throughout the group. You risked us all. What if the staff had seen it first? Did you think for one second about anyone but yourself?”

“Of course I did! I thought about YOU, Jimin! I’ve never been homophobic like much of our country, but I’ve always been a bit uncomfy about it. I was hesitant to take the job because I knew it was a homophobic mission to shut down love and that felt wrong, but then my mom would pop into my head and watching her suffer made me feel like I would do anything in the entire world to help her.”

“So you took me into consideration and that’s why you said I deserved better than you in my life. Then you kiss me. Then you explain that homosexuality does make you a bit uncomfortable. You’re sending me so many mixed messages that I feel like you’re just making shit up on the fly.”

Dae-Hyun lets out a groan that’s almost a scream and starts yelling at himself under his breath. The only words that Jimin can make out are: “idiot”, “evil”, “coward”, and “learn”. He waits for him to finish, wondering what the rest of those awful sentences entail. He’s trying hard not to let his empathy control him, he’s itching to comfort the distraught man. It’s just who he is, he takes care of the emotional health of those he cares for. Finally Dae-Hyung seems to regain his composure.

“This is the hardest part about this, Jimin. I have always been a little wary of homosexuality. In this country, it’s forced so far out of the public eye that sometimes it seems so rare that it even exists. I’ve never really understood sex and attraction the same way as everyone else. I’m very particular and have no interest in sex for the sake of sex. I’ve been doing a lot of research and I think I’m what they call ‘demisexual’. Do you know the term?”

“Yes, of course I do, that’s all well and good, but what does this have to do with anything? I don’t have all night and frankly I’d rather be somewhere else.”

He winces a bit, wishing he hadn’t come off so bluntly. Maybe Yoongi is rubbing off on him (or rubbing off with him). That cheesy play on words would’ve made Yoongi roll his eyes and turn back to whatever he was working on. Jimin can’t help but let a soft smile grow across his face and let out a small sigh. This makes Dae-Hyun’s head snap up.

“See, that right there. I don’t know what you're thinking about right now, but it looks like strong affection. I never knew what that felt like. That’s embarrassing when I’m in my mid-20s. I think part of me started to resent the idea of a gay couple. I couldn’t even manage to pursue a socially accepted relationship and here they are, flaunting all our societal rules and traditions in order to be with the one they love.”

“Clearly you’re referring to Tae and Kook and yes they’re very cute, but they’re also very happy. Do you realize what you’ve done? You may have ruined not only their lives but all of our careers. Bangtan is a group of seven. Period. One goes down, we all go down.”

“I know and that’s why I’m coming clean to you now. Partially because it’s the right thing to do, partially because of my respect for you all, and partially to warn you. I told the company I work for that I couldn’t continue doing this. You’re all such great people and took me in with ease. I wanted to stay in that circle forever, really getting to know you all and building bonds. But I knew I couldn’t do that while I was spying on you. It was wrong in so many ways. So I broke it off.”

“Ha, so you decided to stop for your own selfish reason of wanting us around. It wasn’t so much about our feelings and our safety, was it?”

“You say ‘our’ like you have a personal stake in this situation.”

“Jungkook is my best friend in the world and Taehyung is my soulmate. You mess with any of the maknae line, you get the rest of us nipping at your heels. You never answered my question, what does this have to do with me?”

“I don’t know how you haven’t put the pieces together. You changed my perspective on everything. From that very first day in the cafeteria, you were so powerful and so intriguing. I knew we had to be friends. But after that, I started to feel this odd feeling in my gut whenever I’d see you, whenever you’d grab my shoulder, when you’d wink at me offstage. Suddenly I was thinking about you a lot and realized I was the idiot who was falling for the friend he keeps getting closer to. The friend who introduced him to other friends. The friend who was extremely close to the two people I was trying to expose out of desperation.”

Jimin can’t say anything. His mind is a mix of shock, rage, and empathy. He wants to shake empathy right out of there. Dae-Hyun doesn’t deserve that, he put all of their lives in danger.

“After I got to spend some alone time with Jungkook-ssi and Taehyung-ssi, I realized how amazing they were as people and they welcomed me with open arms. I just couldn’t do it anymore and went to my bosses to call it all off. They were cruel and ranted about needing to bring the number one group down. I hate myself for what I did. Why I did it really doesn’t matter. I take responsibility for everything I did. I just can’t help but hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me.”

“Heh, not likely Dae-Hyun. If anyone feels even a fraction of what I do right now, they’ll hope you drown in quicksand. Nice and slow. Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go to a meeting with Bang PD-nim and tell him everything you just told me. Namjoon will go with you, you’ll tell him everything as well. He needs to halt the investigation on the innocent members of our staff and he will decide what it is he wants to do with you. After that, you’re going to come clean to the rest of the members.”

“The others? I thought maybe you could fill them in since I plan on hiding under a rock in shame.”

“This is your mess. This is your cruel act. This is your story to tell. It has to be you, you need to stop being a coward and be an adult. Own up to your shit. It’s the least you can do after the decisions you made.’

“You’re right, Jimin-ssi. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Good. Clean up. We’re going to see Namjoon right now.”

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 7: I Can Do It, Carrying A Tremor In My Heart

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, goal for 100k

Chapter Summary:

Seonghwa’s heart melts a little watching San talk and think. His face is so expressive, but only here in private. Out there in the world San has one of the best poker faces he’s ever seen. In here though, when it’s just them, he lays himself bare and Seonghwa admires that so much. His face went from relief at the prospect of rooming together on tour to heartbreak at the mention of skinship with Wooyoung. Seonghwa wishes there was anything at all he could do to ease the pain for San and vice versa, but for now the best he can offer is a hand to hold and an ear to listen.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Seonghwa hears a knock at his bedroom door and gets up to let San in. He’d sent a text a half hour ago saying that they needed to talk about something and Seonghwa had told him to just come by whenever he was ready. Hongjoong is pulling another long night at the company preparing for next week’s release of Treasure: One for All. He knows this might be the last time he and San are able to talk about anything privately before they’re bombarded with comeback activities combined with their tour dates in Australia at the end of the summer. As it is they’ve had almost no alone time in weeks, once Wooyoung and San had made up it became impossible to separate them.

He opens the door and his smile freezes on his face when he sees that San isn’t alone. Wooyoung is standing next to him, their hands linked and very different looks on their faces. San looks apologetic while Wooyoung looks embarrassed. Seonghwa is confused as to what this could be about and is wondering why San didn’t just tell him that Wooyoung would be tagging along. He steps back to let the two in and gestures for them to sit on his bed while he settles himself in his desk chair. He waits to see who is going to speak up first and isn’t surprised in the slightest when it ends up being Wooyoung.

“Hyung, I hope you don’t mind me crashing your plans for a few minutes. I promise I’ll only be a few minutes. Sannie mentioned coming over to hang out with you tonight and I begged him to let me tag along. I’ve been a little nervous about this, but I’ve put it off long enough. I owe you an apology.”

Seonghwa’s jaw drops and his brow furrows. This isn’t something he could’ve seen coming. What on earth could Wooyoung have to apologize to him for? Before he can ask, the younger man presses on.

“I let my issues with San come in between our friendship and that wasn’t okay. Whether or not I felt like San was neglecting me or replacing you with me, that was between him and I. I shouldn’t have let it push me further away from you, I acted like a child.”

“Wooyoung-ah, I could never replace you. I would never want to. I’m so sorry that San and I growing closer made you feel that way, I didn’t know. I wish you would have come to talk to me about it while it was happening, we could have spared you both a lot of turmoil.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. How could I blame anyone for wanting to become better friends with Sannie? He’s the best! I’m still learning how to handle all this stuff like an adult and I have a long way to go. I won’t interrupt your plans any further, I just wanted to make sure you knew there were no hard feelings.”

Wooyoung stands to leave, smiling at him and San before turning towards the door. Seonghwa jumps up to catch him before he goes, grabbing his wrist and tugging him around into a hug. He squeezes tight and hears a resulting giggle from Wooyoung before he returns the gesture. They pull away and smile blindingly at each other before he lets himself out and Seonghwa turns back to San.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know, I told him I was coming here and he needled me until I agreed to let him come but he wouldn’t tell me why. All he would say was that it would only take a minute.”

“That was adorable and so sweet. I don’t feel like he was taking his feelings out on me at all, but I can see it was weighing on him. Poor kid.”

“Before we get to why I wanted to talk, I want to apologize too. I know we’ve barely spent any time on our own since Wooyoung and I made up, but I want you to know that it’s not because I don’t want to. Ever since we started to repair things, Woo has been attached to me like a koala, I can’t seem to extricate him long enough to get to you.”

“Oh that’s okay, Sannie. I knew that a day would come when you’d have him back and you wouldn’t need me anymore.”

“Seonghwa, no! That’s not it at all. I will always need you and I love how close we’ve grown. I don’t want to lose that bond. Honestly, when I found out that you and Hongjoong-hyung had also had a chance to sit and talk I was so afraid that we’d drift apart.”

“Really? I’ve missed you the last few weeks. I didn’t realize how integral you’d become to my day-to-day life until we stopped getting that time together.”

“I’ve missed you too. I think Woo has just been a little clingy because he felt he was being replaced, but he’s slowly unclenching and I have every intention of still spending plenty of time with you if you’ll have me.”

“Yes please. That’s a relief. Now what did you actually want to talk about?”

“A few weeks ago, the day that I made up with Wooyoung, I went to see Hongjoong-hyung in his studio. I wanted to talk to him about the way he’d been glaring at me and giving me the cold shoulder. I thought he had an issue with me that he just wasn’t addressing, but it turns out he was feeling a lot like Woo was. He thought I was taking you from him.”

“What are you saying?”

“He was jealous. He noticed how close we’d gotten. Frankly, that scares me a bit. There’s no way he could know right?”

“Of course not. He’s never here and he doesn’t pay close attention like that.”

“I don’t know, I’ve caught him staring at us together more times than you’d think and he always has a sour look on his face. I assume that you know I tried to come by the room when he was showing you the song he wrote?”

“I saw the hoodie you left on the door, but you weren’t in the dorm by the time we were done talking.”

“I heard a small snippet of the song when I went to knock on the door. It was very moving, what did you think?”

“I sort of drowned in it and started crying. I thought after that and the conversation after we would be back to normal, but there’s still something wrong. I don’t need to know everything that goes on in his head, but it’s clear whatever’s bouncing around in there has to do with me. Otherwise it wouldn’t be impacting our relationship. What should I do?”

“If he doesn’t want to tell you, he’s not going to budge. We both know that. I’m not sure there’s anything you can do. We just have to get through the summer, push through comeback and the Australian tour dates. Speaking of which, do you want to go back to rooming with Hongjoong-hyung in Australia?”

“Honestly, I’d rather stick with you if that’s okay.”

“That would be amazing actually. I’m not sure what the next few months will bring, but I’ve really liked being with you on tour and I think it’s good that we get space from both of them when we can. I’m glad Woo isn’t upset with me anymore, but the skinship has been ramped up and it’s a lot for me to handle.”

Seonghwa’s heart melts a little watching San talk and think. His face is so expressive, but only here in private. Out there in the world San has one of the best poker faces he’s ever seen. In here though, when it’s just them, he lays himself bare and Seonghwa admires that so much. His face went from relief at the prospect of rooming together on tour to heartbreak at the mention of skinship with Wooyoung. Seonghwa wishes there was anything at all he could do to ease the pain for San and vice versa, but for now the best he can offer is a hand to hold and an ear to listen.

********

Treasure: One for All drops a week later and the group schedules explode. They’re booked for performances, variety show appearances, interviews, and more promotions than they know how to handle. Everyone is buckling under the pressure, including Yeosang. He tries to spend his down time thinking about basically anything but their music. They all love what they do, but the first few weeks after a comeback would cause anyone to burn out. When they’re not required to be somewhere he tries to take advantage of the free time to hit his pillow and pass out.

Unfortunately for him, he rooms with Wooyoung. He loves his best friend, perhaps more than he loves anyone else in the world, but the man has no idea how to be quiet or notice that Yeosang is trying to sleep in the same room. He has no idea how his roommate has any residual energy left after their long days come to a close, maybe he was specifically crafted for this life in a way the rest of them weren’t. Yeosang has a long summer ahead of him if the start is any indication. If Wooyoung isn’t cackling at videos in his bed he’s talking on the phone or San is in their room causing a ruckus.

Don’t misunderstand, Yeosang is very happy to see the two of them back on good terms. He and Yunho celebrated their success together the next night with a dinner out, congratulating each other on a plan well-executed. What they didn’t anticipate is the way that the reconciliation would impact the rest of the group. San and Wooyoung are practically fused together lately, barely taking a minute away from each other. Yeosang feels just a little put-out, he went from having all of Wooyoung’s time to none of it. He knows that helping them talk things out was the right thing to do, but he feels left behind a bit.

Realizing that he’s not going to get any rest anytime soon he rolls out of his bed and walks right past a laughing Wooyoung watching videos on his bed with San. Neither man notices him leaving the room and he deflates just a bit. He decides to go bother Yunho, figuring he’s probably been similarly affected by his roommate’s recent distraction. He makes his way to the kitchen to make tea for them both, not wanting to show up empty handed to monopolize the other man’s time. He’s just turning the corner when he notices Hongjoong sitting on the couch with his headphones on and his laptop open. He frowns, unused to seeing the leader back this early. He approaches slowly so as to not scare him and waves his hands in his eyeline. Luckily Hongjoong notices and smiles, pulling down his headphones.

“Hey, Yeosangie. What’s up?”

“Hi hyung, what are you doing home? Normally if you had stuff to work on you’d be at the company.”

“Yeah, I’m hoping that if I work here late at night I might notice the time and go to bed earlier.”

Yeosang merely answers with a skeptical lift of his eyebrow and Hongjoong bursts into laughter, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth.

“I know, I know. Wishful thinking. I guess I figured if I work from home maybe Hwa will force me to take breaks and get some sleep.”

“Ah, see, that makes more sense. Is he aware of this plan or are you just hoping he figures it out?”

“Well I’m not going to flat out ask him to take care of me like that!”

“Hyung, with respect, you’re ridiculous sometimes.”

“Yah! Brat! That’s enough!”

“Go ahead and get back to work, I’m going to make some tea and bother Yunho.”

Hongjoong sticks out his tongue and gets back to work. Yeosang can’t help but laugh and shake his head, he forgets sometimes that there really isn’t that large of an age gap between them all. They all make the same immature mistakes and all have to learn the same lessons. He makes quick work of heating up water and steeping the tea before grabbing both mugs and walking down the hall to Yunho and San’s room. He realizes too late that he has no hand free to knock and tries to kick the door without it sounding aggressive. The door opens to a grinning Yunho.

“Were you just kicking my door?!”

“I didn’t have any hands! I thought maybe you’d want to have a cup of tea and hang out with me for a little bit.”

“Wooyoung and San being a bit too rowdy?”

“When are they not?”

Yunho takes one of the mugs from him and leads him into their room, gesturing to San’s bed and Yeosang makes sure to place his own mug on the nightstand before flopping himself down. They sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes and Yeosang immediately relaxes with a good dose of peace and quiet. Before too long he turns towards Yunho and decides he’s the right person to talk to.

“Yunho, have you felt hurt lately that San and Wooyoung aren’t making time for anyone else?”

“A bit, yeah. I spend most of my time with Mingi these days, but even when San does come back to the room he’s not…present, you know? It feels like anything I say goes in one ear and out the other. We used to have a lot of fun living together, but lately it feels more like a rooming situation and less like a sleepover.”

“I’m struggling with the same thing. Wooyoungie was spending all his time with me while he and San were on the outs and now that they’re reconciled it feels like I was just a placeholder.”

“Oh Yeosang-ah, I’m positive that isn’t true. You can’t compare your relationship with Woo to his with San. It’s apples and oranges, one isn’t better than the other. They’re just different.”

“I know you’re right, but it’s hard sometimes. I’ve been bonding more with Hongjoong-hyung ever since we started rooming together in New York, but he’s not around that much for me to hang out with. Plus, something about him is off lately.”

“Off how?”

“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think it has something to do with Seonghwa-hyung.”

“Hmm, I haven’t noticed, but I’ll keep an eye out. Hey, what if I ambush Sannie with some plans and that’ll free things up for you to talk to Wooyoung?”

“That would be really great and it would help you too.”

“Consider it done!”

He definitely made the right choice in Yunho. He’s always the most optimistic member no matter what landmine they step on and he’s eager to make things better for everyone. Yeosang sips his tea and thinks about how to talk to Wooyoung without making him feel attacked. He’s one of the most defensive people he knows. He might have to just go with what feels right in the moment.

********

San is beyond exhausted. The album dropped two weeks ago and he feels like all he does is dance, sing, eat and sleep. Less of the last two than the first two for sure. They finally have an entire free day from lunchtime on and Yunho has asked to spend the day together. He’s excited, he knows he’s been neglecting his roommate lately and if he’s being honest with himself any more affectionate time with Wooyoung might give him a stroke. He hates that he can’t just be grateful that they’ve reconciled.

He didn’t expect the level of clinging that would result from their time apart. At first he fell into it like a desert wanderer into an oasis, drinking in every drop that Wooyoung poured into his parched mouth. After a while though, he remembered why he’d taken a step back in the first place. Their strong connection is a double-edged sword. On one hand he loves the purity of their friendship and on the other hand it feels so much like a romantic relationship that sometimes he forgets reality.

Two nights ago they had decided to have their millionth sleepover and he woke up in the middle of the night to the two of them intertwined and facing each other. He felt Wooyoung’s breath on his cheek and could feel how close their faces were on the pillow. Luckily he caught himself right before he leaned forward to press their lips together. The temptation had been strong in his half-awake state and he honestly hadn’t been positive he wasn’t dreaming in the first place. Once the gravity of what he’d almost done hit him he’d gotten up and snuck back into his own room, collapsing into his bed and burying his face in his pillow. He didn’t sleep another wink that night. He’s grateful to Yunho for giving him a good reason to take a beat and step back.

He’s in their room waiting for Yunho to get back from the shower and his phone pings. He looks down to see a text come in from Wooyoung, then another, and another.

Wooyoungie: Sannnniiiiieeeeee! Come spend our day off with me! Where are you?

San: Sorry, Young-ah. Yunho claimed roommate rights today and it’s been too long since I’ve spent time with him. Ask Yeosang for a best friend day!

Wooyoungie: Oh. Okay.

San frowns at the screen. It’s not like Wooyoung to give up so easily or to be so short in his response. He decides that now’s not the time to focus on that, today is about reconnecting with Yunho. He puts his phone on silent and slips it back into his pocket right as Yunho walks into the room, hair wet and smelling strongly of his signature soap.

“Alright, Sannie! What do you want to do today?”

“Don’t start with me, I owe you. Your choice.”

“Well then, you know what I’m going to say…”

San groans and trudges over to their television cabinet to get out the game system and start hooking up the controls. Yunho loves video games more than anyone he’s ever met and as a result he’s played every single game so much that he never loses. San doesn’t understand what’s fun about playing games that don’t even pose a challenge, but if this is what Yunho wants then this is what they’ll do. He sets up the first game and pulls their desk chairs close enough to the TV so that the cords reach. They plop down and start to play with a comfortable camaraderie, trash talking and laughing at each others’ mistakes. It feels so nice to relax that San doesn’t even care that he’s getting his ass kicked.

“San, can I ask you something?”

“Anything you want, Yunho-yah.”

“Has there been something going on with you lately that you’re uncomfortable talking to me about?”

San nearly drops the controller, but manages to save it at the last second. Smooth, no way to brush the question off now. He draws in a big breath and tries to decide the best way to answer honestly without telling the whole truth.

“I have had something on my mind the past few months, but it’s not that I’m uncomfortable talking to you about it. I just haven’t wanted to talk about it in general.”

“Does it have something to do with you spending so much time with Seonghwa-hyung lately?”

“Aish, did everyone notice us getting closer?!”

“I mean, yeah, kind of. You and Wooyoung spend a lot of time with hyung, but neither of you really do anything with him one-on-one.”

“Seonghwa and I got a lot closer once we started rooming together in New York and Europe.”

“Did–did you just drop his honorific?”

Well, shit.

“Sorry, the game was distracting me and I must’ve spoken too quickly.”

Not a good save, pabo.

“San-ah, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I don’t expect you to, that would be ridiculous. But…I hope you know that I’m here for you if you ever do want to talk. I’ll always listen and never judge. You’re my brother and I love you.”

San’s heart clenches in his chest at the words and he can feel tears pricking the backs of his eyes. He hits pause on his controller and leans forward to place it on the desk. Instead of sitting back up he braces his hands on the edge of the wood and hangs his head, trying to take deep breaths and stave off the tears. The last thing he needs right now is to tangle this web further by bringing Yunho in on it. He feels a big hand press softly between his shoulder blades and start to rub back and forth and the gentleness behind the gesture breaks him.

He starts to cry in earnest and turns his body into Yunho’s without opening his eyes or lifting his head. He buries his face into his roommate’s chest and lets the catharsis wash over him. He’s been working so hard to comfort Seonghwa and placate a clingy Wooyoung that he’s pushed his own emotions down for weeks and weeks. They were bound to come out eventually and he’s actually grateful that Yunho is the one to witness them. He knows he can trust him, they have a bond that only comes from living in close quarters with someone for so long. He cries until he has nothing left and then lifts himself off of Yunho’s chest, wiping his face on his shirt before he finally meets his gaze.

“Sannie, what’s wrong?”

“I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone else about this for a million reasons. I’m embarrassed. It’s a hopeless situation that no one can help anyway. It’s a burden that the rest of you don’t need. The more people that know the more complicated it all gets.”

“Again, you don’t have to tell me anything. I hope you know though that you never need to be embarrassed with me and you will never be a burden. I’ll always happily help you carry the load on your shoulders.”

San takes a deep breath and searches Yunho’s eyes for any indication that opening his mouth right now would be a stupid decision. He sees nothing but love and concern in the other man’s eyes and his willpower has been exhausted to its last wisp with Wooyoung the past few weeks. He steels himself and starts to tell Yunho everything from the beginning, making sure to leave out Seonghwa’s feelings for Hongjoong and the kissing. Those are not his secrets to tell. Whatever reaction he was expecting, it wasn’t Yunho’s hands reaching out to hold his in solidarity.

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 18: You Are The One Who Made Me

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 190k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

He crawls into bed next to Taehyung and wraps his arms around his sleeping form. He tugs him in under his chin and kisses the top of his head as he feels himself start to drift off too. He inhales the scent wafting from his hair and something clicks inside him. This is all he’s ever going to need. More than the band, more than the music, more than his friends. It hits him how long he’s been in love with this man but in complete denial of it. Years of history bolster them and he doesn’t know how he could have been so blind. He may be asleep, but Jungkook can’t wait any longer to say it out loud.

I love you.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Taehyung is in the studio with Yoongi a few weeks later going over their song to make sure it’s album-ready. He appreciates his hyung’s perfectionism, this song is everything to him. It’s a love letter to Jungkook when he thought he’d never get to have him again. Now they’re finally free and this song is the magnet that drew them back to each other.

“Hyung, I think it’s absolutely amazing. There’s nothing else we need to tweak. It’s done.”

“I agree with you there. It’s great. We need a title though.”

“I have one. What do you think about The Truth Untold?”

“Taehyung, that’s perfect. It encapsulates the feel of the song. Well done.”

“Thanks, hyung. I’m excited to share this with the fans. It feels like my way of telling them who I am. Speaking of which, when are you and Jimin going to tell everyone that you’re together? You’re still hiding and it’s completely unnecessary.”

“I know. I was ready to tell people right away and at first Jimin agreed, but then something happened and I don’t know what it is. I’m tired of sneaking in and out of each other’s rooms in the middle of the night. He’s been off, has he said anything to you?”

“No, not really. I know he’s not okay, but all he’d tell me is that it had nothing to do with any of us and that he’ll get over it. It’s not like him to act this way.”

“Try and coax something out of him. I don’t mind not knowing what it is. I just want him to be able to talk to someone.”

“I think I will, hyung. Maybe I’ll go find him right now. Are we done here?”

“Absolutely, go find Jimin.”

Taehyung gives Yoongi a back hug, ignoring the whining objections and jogs from the room smiling. He’s come to appreciate his friendship with his grumpiest hyung so much, their connection is a bit different than his with anyone else. It also gives him the ability to watch over Jimin and Yoongi’s relationship. He trusts them, but he will always worry about his soulmate.

He walks out of the company and gets into the car waiting for him in the parking garage. He asks the driver to stop at the store to grab some of Jimin’s favorite snacks and then take him to the dorm. He’s hoping they can have a low-key night and he can maybe get some answers as to what’s been going on. He arrives at the dorm and makes a beeline for Jimin’s room, knocking with his foot since his hands are full of food. The door opens and Jimin’s face breaks into a smile seeing Taehyung standing there.

“Taetae! You know we can’t eat like this, we’ve got three nights at Gocheok coming up next week!”

“Eh, live a little Jiminie.”

Taehyung pushes into the room and drops all the snacks on Jimin’s desk before throwing himself onto the bed and crawling under the covers. He’s immediately tackled and tickled, shrieking and squirming. They wrestle for a bit before he wins by sinking his teeth into Jimin’s shoulder and the other man gives in.

They pass the next few hours like they would any other night: movies, snuggles, jokes, games. It’s nice to just relax with your best friend sometimes. Taehyung doesn’t want to ruin the mood, and is too content at this moment. He decides that if and when Jimin is ready to talk, he’ll go to someone. There’s no need to push. He seems much more like himself tonight anyway.

********

Jimin has just walked out of the dressing room, hair coiffed and makeup perfect. He heads towards the stage for his sound check and feels his nerves jangling. Performing at Gocheok is so meaningful to them and he wants to be perfect. He’s giving himself a pep talk when he hears someone call his name and turns to see Dae-Hyun tentatively walking towards him.

“Jimin-ssi, hi. Could we talk?”

“No, absolutely not. You don’t get to try and explain yourself now.”

“Please, what I have to say is very important. I care about you so much.”

“That’s hilarious, Dae-Hyun. Could have fooled me.”

Jimin turns his back on the other man and stalks out towards the stage, determined to succeed more than ever. He refuses to let Dae-Hyun find out how much losing his friendship has impacted him the past few weeks. He’s starting to remember why they don’t make friends outside of each other. Who else can they really trust?

He heads to the stage and watches the rap line finish up their soundcheck, getting lost in the way that Yoongi raps. His smooth cadence, the rhythm that bounces through his body, even the way he holds the microphone. Jimin can’t believe he’s lucky enough to be with such an incredibly talented and sexy man. He’s going to try his best to not get distracted by him on stage. He wishes they had fanservice duties like Jungkook and Taehyung. They get to hang all over each other when they perform.

They finish up on stage and Yoongi turns and catches his eye. The gummy smile that spreads across his face is worth the pain they went through. That smile is for him and him alone. He wants nothing more than to run to him and plant a kiss on his lips, but he can’t do that here. He knows it’s time to tell the members about them, but he’s scared. He likes living in their own little private world.

“Ready Jiminie? Go do what you do best.”

“Thanks, Yoongi-hyung. You guys were great.”

Yoongi subtly runs a hand down his arm and across his palm, the most daring they have the ability to be in front of all this staff. Even that light touch makes Jimin grit his teeth and take deep breaths. He can’t get aroused here and definitely not in these pants. He loves ARMY, but he doesn’t need to show them that much of himself. He clears his throat as he walks onto the stage and sees Yoongi smirk at how flustered he is at something so small.

The rest of the night goes smoothly, they’ve accomplished something amazing here. Everyone played their parts perfectly and are feeling confident about how the next two nights will go. They’re in the dressing room removing their makeup and stage clothes, excitedly chattering about the highlights of the night, when Namjoon suddenly stands up and excuses himself to make a phone call.

Jimin shakes it off and grabs his bag and shoes. He tells everyone he’s going to head back to the dorm and meets Yoongi’s eyes as he walks out the door. He excuses himself too and follows Jimin out of the room to grab a car together. They sit in the far back, on opposite sides of the seat and staring out the window. The building comes into view and Jimin’s pulse speeds up. They exit the car and head upstairs, Yoongi following him into his room.

The door barely closes when he has a hand against his throat shoving him up against the wall of the entryway. His air cuts off and his eyes half-close as they focus on Yoongi’s face. He has that perfect look on his face, that look that says Jimin is in for a wild ride.

“So Jimin-ah, did you think you were funny running your hand along my hip when you walked by me on stage tonight? How about when you backed up into me as you bent over to pick up your water bottle? Does that amuse you? Hmm? Teasing Daddy?”

Jimin can only nod and smirk, unable to get enough air to respond with words.

“You little brat. You’re in for it now.”

Yoongi leans forward and runs a tongue across his parted lips before he releases his throat in favor of grabbing the hair at the back of his head. Jimin tries to resist, but is forced down to his knees. Yoongi unbuckles his belt and pulls his pants down to his knees without ever releasing his hold on his hair.

He shoves his already-hard cock into Jimin’s mouth, pushing as far in as he can until he hears and feels the choking he was looking for. He’s looking down as if he’s a god sneering at a lowly follower. Jimin’s veins are molten lava as he savors the weight of Yoongi sliding back and forth over his tongue. He lets out little whimpers, playing into his punished sub role.

“That’s it, that’s my little toy. You like this don’t you? Daddy using you?”

Jimin groans and swirls his tongue around Yoongi’s head in response, opening his mouth as wide as possible. His own cock is aching, he’s desperate to be touched and can’t control his next move. He reaches down and starts palming himself through his pants, needing some sort of relief.

“Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing? Absolutely not.”

Yoongi pulls his cock out of Jimin’s mouth and hauls him up with a tight hand on his jaw. He grabs the collar of his shirt and drags him across the room, throwing him down onto the floor in front of his dresser. He knows what to do without being told, excitedly digging through his drawers for their restraints while trying to keep a straight face. He pulls out the pile of soft cuffs and hands them to Yoongi.

The restraints are soft velcro cuffs, one for each limb if they want, with loose straps hanging off of each one. Yoongi had found them while searching the internet for bondage items and brought them to Jimin to see if he liked them. They’re incredibly versatile and they’ve found very fun ways to tie Jimin up with the different straps.

Yoongi orders him onto the bed and he lays down on his back like a starfish, not knowing which limbs are going to be cuffed. He closes his eyes and feels a strap tighten around each wrist, body breaking out into goosebumps. He’s told to sit up and the straps pull down until his hands are tied together tight against his lower back. He wriggles around, pretending to break free and gets the response he wanted.

“You really don’t learn, do you?”

Yoongi shoves him backwards until his back is pressed up against the headboard and holds his head still. Jimin grits his teeth, knowing what’s coming next and feeling more eager for it than ever before. The sharp strike of that big hand against his face makes him cry out and clench his legs together, trying to do anything for his leaking cock. His mouth drops open and his eyelids are heavy.

“There you go, that’s the obedient face I wanted. Now let Daddy do what he wants.”

Yoongi reaches forward to open the buttons of Jimin’s shirt and peel the jeans from his legs. He’s glad he decided to forgo underwear today and based on the look on Yoongi’s face, he’s not the only one. He watches his boyfriend’s face turn hungry as he kneels between Jimin’s open legs. He leans forward, stopping just short of Jimin’s cock and it jumps in anticipation.

“Oh, does someone still want to be touched?”

“Mmph. Please, Daddy.”

“I don’t know, Jiminie. Are you going to be a good boy from here on out? No more pushback?”

“I promise, I promise. I’ll be the best little toy you’ve ever played with.”

“God, I love when you beg.”

Yoongi closes the gap and takes Jimin into his mouth in one quick stroke. He squeezes his base with one hand as he slides back and forth, tongue slipping up and into his slit. Jimin’s body bucks forwards and he feels a lightning bolt shoot straight up his stomach. Yoongi has gotten so good at this, taking him deeper little by little. He’s convinced that someday he’ll be able to deepthroat and there’s no way that that blowjob will last long. He can feel the tingle starting in his toes that means he’s getting close and he starts to twitch. Suddenly the perfect wet heat surrounding his cock disappears and he almost screams at the loss.

“What a good boy. I think you’re ready for more, don’t you? Do you remember your safe gesture?”

Jimin snaps his fingers in response and Yoongi smirks before leaving the room entirely. Jimin is confused and excited, while also a little scared, being left alone tied up like this. He knows that he could be left here for any amount of time, whatever his boyfriend decides. The door opens again a lot sooner than he expected, Yoongi walking in holding a bag. He pulls out a bottle of lube and a ball gag, sending anticipatory shivers up Jimin’s body. No time is wasted as the rubber ball forces his mouth open, tightly tied behind his head until his only choice is to clench down on it hard with his teeth.

He looks down his body and sees Yoongi squeezing lube from the bottle onto his hand, assuming he’s going to stroke him with it. His hand passes right over Jimin’s needy cock and behind until his fingers are stroking his ass. He gasps and gets a heady rush, they’ve discussed having sex and how to be safe about it, but Yoongi has never been ready. Could this mean…?

He draws in a sharp breath and dribbles a bit of saliva out of the side of his mouth when he feels one slender finger penetrating him. He grunts around the gag in his mouth and meets Yoongi’s eyes, trying to express how badly he wants more. He watches one eyebrow cock and a smirk grow across his face and knows he understands. A second finger spears in beside the first and they curl until they brush his prostate and he bucks up off the bed again, moaning. The fingers move inside him in every possible direction, preparing him for what’s to come. When a third joins them, he’s panting and sweating.

“Look how hungry my flower is. Maybe he wants something different here?”

Jimin tries to push desperate, pleading noises past his gag. There’s nothing in the world he wants more. He groans as he feels the fingers pull out of him, Yoongi climbing up his body to untie his ball gag and pull it from his mouth. He feels spit fall in a cascade from his lips, and knows how much the other man loves to see that.

“I’m going to need you to confirm that you’re okay with this, Jimin-ah.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. YES. Please. Please.”

“Okay sweetheart, make whatever noise you want for me.”

Yoongi undresses and grabs the bottle of lube again, coating his cock in it, and Jimin is treated to the sight of the man he loves stroking himself. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that Yoongi isn’t nervous at all about his first time with a man. He knows that in reality, he’s snapped into his dom space and will radiate confidence no matter what he may actually be feeling. He positions himself to line up with Jimin’s entrance and slowly starts to push his way inside.

“God. Hyung. The way you stretch me is so fucking good.”

“Call me that again.”

“Hyung.”

“Fuck, Jimin. You’re so filthy and so so so tight.”

Yoongi’s brow furrows as he continues to push until he bottoms out, drawing a long and low moan from the back of Jimin’s throat. He stills for a second, seemingly gathering his composure. He leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Jimin’s lips, almost a reassurance. He reaches back and unties Jimin’s hands, too impatient to remove the actual cuffs and Jimin immediately reaches up to cup his face and pull him in for another kiss. That makes Yoongi start to thrust back and forth and Jimin’s eyes roll back into his head.

Yoongi grabs the back of his neck and starts picking up speed, small puffs of breath coming from his mouth. Jimin whines at every thrust, reveling in the feeling of being filled to the brim. He brings his hands down to Yoongi’s ass and pulls him in tighter so that his stomach brushes up against Jimin’s cock.

“Yes, just like that, you feel amazing. More, hyung, more.”

Yoongi lets out a higher pitched groan than Jimin ever expected to hear from him and speeds up. The room fills with the sounds of panting, moaning, and skin hitting skin. Jimin thinks he can’t possibly take any more pleasure when he feels a hand wrap around his cock and start to stroke at the same rhythm as he’s being fucked. He screams at the top of his lungs.

“That’s right, darling. Scream for me. Scream.”

“Yoongi! Hyung! Daddy! Fuck!”

“Cum for me, Jimin-ah. Cum for me.”

Jimin tumbles over the edge, stars exploding behind his eyes. The orgasm never seems to end. It’s an exquisite pain traveling through every single inch of his body, he can barely catch his breath. His head feels fuzzy and he slightly registers the feel of Yoongi emptying deep inside him. His grasp on the world is faded, muffled. He floats in clouds of bliss and pleasure. He could stay here forever.

“Come here, sweetie. Let me clean you up.”

He feels something warm and wet swipe against his aching hole, run along the insides of his thighs and up over his stomach. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he’s being cleaned up, but his limbs feel like concrete and he can’t seem to form words. The warmth disappears and he shivers as the cold air hits the now wet parts of his body. He feels the bed dip next to him and arms wrap around his body.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Mm.”

“I need you to tell me your name, honey.”

“Mmph. Dunno.”

“Yes you do, come on my perfect boy, what’s your name?”

He feels soft kisses traveling over his face and a hand stroking up and down his arm. He starts to feel like the world is coming back into focus. He opens his eyes and turns his head to the side and sees the face of the man he loves. He hums under his breath. He smiles and leans forward to kiss those perfect lips.

“My name is Jimin. Your name is Yoongi.”

“There you go, welcome back.”

“That was kind of insane. How are you feeling?”

“Me? This is your aftercare, Jiminie!”

“I know, but this was essentially you losing your virginity all over again. Are you okay? Do you have any questions?”

“I’m okay. It’s you. I knew everything would be amazing. I was right. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.”

Jimin’s heart swells and it takes all of his willpower to not tell Yoongi that he loves him right then and there. He knows it’s not the right time, knows they need to talk to the members first. He knows it’s too early, that Yoongi is nowhere near there yet. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t yearn to tell him every time they look into each other's eyes.

He sighs and curls up on his side, burrowing his face into Yoongi’s bare chest. The soft strokes along his back are making him drift off already. He doesn’t know what he was ever scared of. He’s taken care of, safe here. He decides to say it in his head if he can’t say it out loud.

I love you, Yoongi.

********

Jungkook walks out onstage on their last night at Gocheok for his solo song, trying to bask in the beauty of this experience. Now that it’s coming to an end he feels that familiar tug at his gut. Every winter when they go on break to fine-tune the new album and stop performing for awhile, Jungkook feels like a part of him was left behind in all the venues they played that year. It’s not that he doesn’t love creating, but the stage is where he thrives.

He hits every note perfectly and can’t help but break into a bright smile as the crowd cheers. The rest of the group joins him onstage for the next song and Taehyung runs a hand along the back of his neck as he passes by. He’s never been more grateful to the fans for shipping them, they can get away with so much mischief on stage. He runs forwards and intertwines their fingers, laughing and waving as the roar of the crowd intensifies. This is everything.

When they say their final goodbyes later that night, Jungkook tugs Tae into a dark corner behind a curtain and kisses him slow and deep. He knows he shouldn’t, but they’ve learned that if they keep it to five seconds it’s too quick to get caught. He might take advantage of that discovery much more often than he should. “Take me home, Tae. I don’t want to go out with everyone. I just want to be with you tonight.”

“Let’s go grab our things, baby. We can relax at home. I’ll tell everyone.”

The two head to the dressing rooms to change and grab everything they need, quickly telling the group that they’re going to go home. No one questions them, they’ve all been very good about letting the maknaes have as much private time as they need. They get into one of the waiting vans at the private entrance and almost nod off on the way home. Taehyung can barely focus enough to put his key in the lock so Jungkook scoops him up into his arms and takes the keys.

He walks into the dorm, snuggling Tae’s head into the crook of his neck and kicking off his shoes. He carries him down the hall to his room and lays him down, smiling softly at the small noises that murmur from his slack lips. He goes to his dresser and grabs a set of his own sweats to change Tae into. He walks back over, pulls off his shoes and socks, and gently changes his clothes. He tugs the blankets out from under him and tucks him in, heading to the bathroom quickly to brush his teeth before hurrying back.

He crawls into bed next to Taehyung and wraps his arms around his sleeping form. He tugs him in under his chin and kisses the top of his head as he feels himself start to drift off too. He inhales the scent wafting from his hair and something clicks inside him. This is all he’s ever going to need. More than the band, more than the music, more than his friends. It hits him how long he’s been in love with this man but in complete denial of it. Years of history bolster them and he doesn’t know how he could have been so blind. He may be asleep, but Jungkook can’t wait any longer to say it out loud.

I love you.

********

Namjoon is sitting in the BigHit conference room the day after their last show at Gocheok, tapping his pen on the table. For once he’s here before the CEO and that makes him even more nervous. He’d received an email after their first night at the Sky Dome saying that the private investigator had done some digging and will have a report ready by this morning. He had rushed out of the dressing room and called Bang Si-Hyuk immediately, wanting information sooner. The man had explained that he didn’t know anything more and that by the time they met this morning he’d have all the information.

Namjoon has been on edge ever since, worried out of his mind about who might be making their lives harder. He wonders if they’ll know exactly who it is and take care of it, or if there will just be loose theories to chase. He hasn’t told the others anything, they still don’t know that the note was left for Jungkook in the first place. He doesn’t want to scare anyone until he has actual answers. He nearly jumps out of his skin when the door at his back opens and the CEO walks in. He stands quickly to bow and wait for him to say something.

“Hi Namjoon. Great job at Gocheok this week, you all really impressed me.”

“Thank you, PD-nim. I’ll tell the others.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure you want to know what the investigator found. He made a list of the staff that were in Taiwan with you, both our people and the outside staff. He then dug into their backgrounds to see who might be a suspect. He doesn’t think whoever left the note was working with someone else, so that discounted the staff that doesn’t belong to us. Here’s a list of seven people who work with you all on a regular basis and would have had access to the dorms. I know all seven of these people and I would be shocked if anyone was the culprit, but this is the best lead we have for right now.”

He slides a piece of paper across the table and Namjoon grabs his pen to make notes next to each name.

Yang In-su (Director’s Assistant) So Kyubok (Stylist) Pyeong Hak-Kun(Cleaner) Ja Sang-Hee(Label Representative) Lee Dae-Hyun (Not a possibility) Gyeon Jiwoo(Makeup Artist) Park Kwan(Production Assistant)

“Thank you for hiring the investigator. I’ve taken my notes on the list, one name needs to be removed, but the others are worth looking into. Most of them are new to our staff, it could be any one of them.”

“Who needs to be removed?”

“Lee Dae-Hyun, he’s a close friend of Jimin’s and we’ve all started to become close with him as well. We haven’t seen him outside of work in a few weeks, but we intend to make more time to hang out with him now that things are quieter. He wouldn’t do this.” “Namjoon, I advise you to be cautious even when you think you know someone. You never know what’s going on inside their heads.”

“With all due respect, I don’t want to live my life that way. We’re able to choose who we can trust for ourselves and it’s been great for us all to make a friend outside our idol bubble. Don’t investigate Dae-hyun. He’s a good person.”

“Alright, I’ll strike him from the list and tell the investigator that you agree on the other six being possible suspects. I’ll contact you once we have more information.”

“Thank you for all your help, PD-nim.”

Namjoon stands and bows before walking out the door and down the hallway. Instead of heading back to the dorm he makes a beeline for Genius Lab where he knows he’ll find Yoongi. He wants to talk to him about the list of suspects and see if he should go to Jimin to have him warn Dae-Hyun that they may be investigating him. It’s time to bring someone else into the loop on what had happened in Taiwan.

********

Yoongi hears a knock on the studio door and is surprised to see Namjoon standing there. It’s early enough the morning after a show that he imagined everyone else would still be sound asleep. He hasn’t been to bed yet himself, he felt energized and inspired after their last show at Gocheok and came here to tie up some loose ends before he went home. As usual, the hours disappeared and the sun had risen before he realized how tired he was.

He lets Namjoon inside, stifling a yawn and feeling concerned at the conflicted look on the leader’s face. That never brings good news with it. He wishes he could confide in him the way he used to, he wants to tell him everything about Jimin, but they both have to be on the same page and tell everyone together.

“Hey Joonie, is everything okay? Why are you up so early?”

“I had a meeting with Bang and I’m feeling a bit worried. I was hoping I could bounce some thoughts off of you.”

Namjoon goes on to tell him a story about a note left on Jungkook’s door in Taiwan and a lump grows in his throat. The poor maknae must have been terrified, he understands why they kept this a secret from the rest of him. He’s surprised he didn’t hear it from Taehyung, they’ve been working on the song together for weeks. Unless Tae doesn’t know? No, that’s not possible. He must.

“Wow, Joon, you didn’t have to carry this on your shoulders alone all this time. I understand wanting to take it off of Jungkook’s mind, but you need to let some of us carry the burden with you sometimes. You’re wearing yourself thin. What did Bang say today?”

“He gave me a list of suspects that the private investigator is looking into. All staff members who are relatively new to working with us, were in Taiwan, and have at some point in the last few months been in the dorm as well.”

“They don’t think it’s possible that someone had help? There could be multiple people involved in order to cover up any sort of trail.”

“Not so far. It’s not impossible, but it’s not an angle they’re looking into right now.”

“Okay…so what is it that’s worrying you?”

“The list had seven people on it. I struck one from the list and told Bang not to investigate him, that it definitely wasn’t him. Dae-Hyun.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen hearing Jimin’s friend’s name. He can’t imagine that being possible. They would have been able to read any sort of ill intention coming from him. Though, come to think of it, he hasn’t seen Dae-Hyun around in awhile and Jimin never brings him up anymore.

“Hyung, do you think I need to talk to Jimin about Dae-Hyun? To make sure he can be trusted? To have him pass along a warning? I’m not quite sure how to deal with this.”

“I’ll take care of it, Namjoon. I’ll talk to Jungkook and make sure it’s okay to bring Jimin into the loop and then I’ll talk through it with him.”

Namjoon lets out a deep sigh and gives him a look of relief. He feels for the leader, he has had far too much stress all these years. He takes care of everyone so well, it’s time one of them takes the lead on something.

“Stay here and rest a few minutes, I’ll just wrap up this last track and we can head back to the dorm together and both get some sleep. I just need ten minutes.”

As Yoongi fiddles with the controls, his mind goes back to where it has run back to for three days now.

Jimin told me loves me as he fell asleep. He wasn’t even aware of it. He had just been deep in subspace and it was an incredibly intimate experience for us both. Should I bring it up? Should I let it go until he’s ready to say it to me consciously? Should I tell him first? God, I love that man. I’ve been such a coward, I should just tell him. No, focus on this Jungkook issue first. There’s plenty of time for all that later.

[borahae-777]

Treasure -- Chapter 6: I Can Do It, Carrying A Tremor In My Heart

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa, Wooyoung x San

Word Count: Fic in progress, goal for 100k

Chapter Summary:

Hongjoong hangs his head and squeezes his eyes shut, mentally kicking himself. He had no idea that San had noticed his discomfort and he feels like the worst leader in the world. He should’ve never let his personal feelings interfere with the way he treated the younger man, he did nothing wrong really. He wrestles with himself for a moment about whether to tell San what he saw or not but ultimately decides against it. That can of worms doesn’t need to be opened.

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Seonghwa hears a knock at his bedroom door and gets up to let San in. He’d sent a text a half hour ago saying that they needed to talk about something and Seonghwa had told him to just come by whenever he was ready. Hongjoong is pulling another long night at the company preparing for next week’s release of Treasure: One for All. He knows this might be the last time he and San are able to talk about anything privately before they’re bombarded with comeback activities combined with their tour dates in Australia at the end of the summer. As it is they’ve had almost no alone time in weeks, once Wooyoung and San had made up it became impossible to separate them.

He opens the door and his smile freezes on his face when he sees that San isn’t alone. Wooyoung is standing next to him, their hands linked and very different looks on their faces. San looks apologetic while Wooyoung looks embarrassed. Seonghwa is confused as to what this could be about and is wondering why San didn’t just tell him that Wooyoung would be tagging along. He steps back to let the two in and gestures for them to sit on his bed while he settles himself in his desk chair. He waits to see who is going to speak up first and isn’t surprised in the slightest when it ends up being Wooyoung.

“Hyung, I hope you don’t mind me crashing your plans for a few minutes. I promise I’ll only be a few minutes. Sannie mentioned coming over to hang out with you tonight and I begged him to let me tag along. I’ve been a little nervous about this, but I’ve put it off long enough. I owe you an apology.”

Seonghwa’s jaw drops and his brow furrows. This isn’t something he could’ve seen coming. What on earth could Wooyoung have to apologize to him for? Before he can ask, the younger man presses on.

“I let my issues with San come in between our friendship and that wasn’t okay. Whether or not I felt like San was neglecting me or replacing you with me, that was between him and I. I shouldn’t have let it push me further away from you, I acted like a child.”

“Wooyoung-ah, I could never replace you. I would never want to. I’m so sorry that San and I growing closer made you feel that way, I didn’t know. I wish you would have come to talk to me about it while it was happening, we could have spared you both a lot of turmoil.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. How could I blame anyone for wanting to become better friends with Sannie? He’s the best! I’m still learning how to handle all this stuff like an adult and I have a long way to go. I won’t interrupt your plans any further, I just wanted to make sure you knew there were no hard feelings.”

Wooyoung stands to leave, smiling at him and San before turning towards the door. Seonghwa jumps up to catch him before he goes, grabbing his wrist and tugging him around into a hug. He squeezes tight and hears a resulting giggle from Wooyoung before he returns the gesture. They pull away and smile blindingly at each other before he lets himself out and Seonghwa turns back to San.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know, I told him I was coming here and he needled me until I agreed to let him come but he wouldn’t tell me why. All he would say was that it would only take a minute.”

“That was adorable and so sweet. I don’t feel like he was taking his feelings out on me at all, but I can see it was weighing on him. Poor kid.”

“Before we get to why I wanted to talk, I want to apologize too. I know we’ve barely spent any time on our own since Wooyoung and I made up, but I want you to know that it’s not because I don’t want to. Ever since we started to repair things, Woo has been attached to me like a koala, I can’t seem to extricate him long enough to get to you.”

“Oh that’s okay, Sannie. I knew that a day would come when you’d have him back and you wouldn’t need me anymore.”

“Seonghwa, no! That’s not it at all. I will always need you and I love how close we’ve grown. I don’t want to lose that bond. Honestly, when I found out that you and Hongjoong-hyung had also had a chance to sit and talk I was so afraid that we’d drift apart.”

“Really? I’ve missed you the last few weeks. I didn’t realize how integral you’d become to my day-to-day life until we stopped getting that time together.”

“I’ve missed you too. I think Woo has just been a little clingy because he felt he was being replaced, but he’s slowly unclenching and I have every intention of still spending plenty of time with you if you’ll have me.”

“Yes please. That’s a relief. Now what did you actually want to talk about?”

“A few weeks ago, the day that I made up with Wooyoung, I went to see Hongjoong-hyung in his studio. I wanted to talk to him about the way he’d been glaring at me and giving me the cold shoulder. I thought he had an issue with me that he just wasn’t addressing, but it turns out he was feeling a lot like Woo was. He thought I was taking you from him.”

“What are you saying?”

“He was jealous. He noticed how close we’d gotten. Frankly, that scares me a bit. There’s no way he could know right?”

“Of course not. He’s never here and he doesn’t pay close attention like that.”

“I don’t know, I’ve caught him staring at us together more times than you’d think and he always has a sour look on his face. I assume that you know I tried to come by the room when he was showing you the song he wrote?”

“I saw the hoodie you left on the door, but you weren’t in the dorm by the time we were done talking.”

“I heard a small snippet of the song when I went to knock on the door. It was very moving, what did you think?”

“I sort of drowned in it and started crying. I thought after that and the conversation after we would be back to normal, but there’s still something wrong. I don’t need to know everything that goes on in his head, but it’s clear whatever’s bouncing around in there has to do with me. Otherwise it wouldn’t be impacting our relationship. What should I do?”

“If he doesn’t want to tell you, he’s not going to budge. We both know that. I’m not sure there’s anything you can do. We just have to get through the summer, push through comeback and the Australian tour dates. Speaking of which, do you want to go back to rooming with Hongjoong-hyung in Australia?”

“Honestly, I’d rather stick with you if that’s okay.”

“That would be amazing actually. I’m not sure what the next few months will bring, but I’ve really liked being with you on tour and I think it’s good that we get space from both of them when we can. I’m glad Woo isn’t upset with me anymore, but the skinship has been ramped up and it’s a lot for me to handle.”

Seonghwa’s heart melts a little watching San talk and think. His face is so expressive, but only here in private. Out there in the world San has one of the best poker faces he’s ever seen. In here though, when it’s just them, he lays himself bare and Seonghwa admires that so much. His face went from relief at the prospect of rooming together on tour to heartbreak at the mention of skinship with Wooyoung. Seonghwa wishes there was anything at all he could do to ease the pain for San and vice versa, but for now the best he can offer is a hand to hold and an ear to listen.

********

Treasure: One for All drops a week later and the group schedules explode. They’re booked for performances, variety show appearances, interviews, and more promotions than they know how to handle. Everyone is buckling under the pressure, including Yeosang. He tries to spend his down time thinking about basically anything but their music. They all love what they do, but the first few weeks after a comeback would cause anyone to burn out. When they’re not required to be somewhere he tries to take advantage of the free time to hit his pillow and pass out.

Unfortunately for him, he rooms with Wooyoung. He loves his best friend, perhaps more than he loves anyone else in the world, but the man has no idea how to be quiet or notice that Yeosang is trying to sleep in the same room. He has no idea how his roommate has any residual energy left after their long days come to a close, maybe he was specifically crafted for this life in a way the rest of them weren’t. Yeosang has a long summer ahead of him if the start is any indication. If Wooyoung isn’t cackling at videos in his bed he’s talking on the phone or San is in their room causing a ruckus.

Don’t misunderstand, Yeosang is very happy to see the two of them back on good terms. He and Yunho celebrated their success together the next night with a dinner out, congratulating each other on a plan well-executed. What they didn’t anticipate is the way that the reconciliation would impact the rest of the group. San and Wooyoung are practically fused together lately, barely taking a minute away from each other. Yeosang feels just a little put-out, he went from having all of Wooyoung’s time to none of it. He knows that helping them talk things out was the right thing to do, but he feels left behind a bit.

Realizing that he’s not going to get any rest anytime soon he rolls out of his bed and walks right past a laughing Wooyoung watching videos on his bed with San. Neither man notices him leaving the room and he deflates just a bit. He decides to go bother Yunho, figuring he’s probably been similarly affected by his roommate’s recent distraction. He makes his way to the kitchen to make tea for them both, not wanting to show up empty handed to monopolize the other man’s time. He’s just turning the corner when he notices Hongjoong sitting on the couch with his headphones on and his laptop open. He frowns, unused to seeing the leader back this early. He approaches slowly so as to not scare him and waves his hands in his eyeline. Luckily Hongjoong notices and smiles, pulling down his headphones.

“Hey, Yeosangie. What’s up?”

“Hi hyung, what are you doing home? Normally if you had stuff to work on you’d be at the company.”

“Yeah, I’m hoping that if I work here late at night I might notice the time and go to bed earlier.”

Yeosang merely answers with a skeptical lift of his eyebrow and Hongjoong bursts into laughter, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth.

“I know, I know. Wishful thinking. I guess I figured if I work from home maybe Hwa will force me to take breaks and get some sleep.”

“Ah, see, that makes more sense. Is he aware of this plan or are you just hoping he figures it out?”

“Well I’m not going to flat out ask him to take care of me like that!”

“Hyung, with respect, you’re ridiculous sometimes.”

“Yah! Brat! That’s enough!”

“Go ahead and get back to work, I’m going to make some tea and bother Yunho.”

Hongjoong sticks out his tongue and gets back to work. Yeosang can’t help but laugh and shake his head, he forgets sometimes that there really isn’t that large of an age gap between them all. They all make the same immature mistakes and all have to learn the same lessons. He makes quick work of heating up water and steeping the tea before grabbing both mugs and walking down the hall to Yunho and San’s room. He realizes too late that he has no hand free to knock and tries to kick the door without it sounding aggressive. The door opens to a grinning Yunho.

“Were you just kicking my door?!”

“I didn’t have any hands! I thought maybe you’d want to have a cup of tea and hang out with me for a little bit.”

“Wooyoung and San being a bit too rowdy?”

“When are they not?”

Yunho takes one of the mugs from him and leads him into their room, gesturing to San’s bed and Yeosang makes sure to place his own mug on the nightstand before flopping himself down. They sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes and Yeosang immediately relaxes with a good dose of peace and quiet. Before too long he turns towards Yunho and decides he’s the right person to talk to.

“Yunho, have you felt hurt lately that San and Wooyoung aren’t making time for anyone else?”

“A bit, yeah. I spend most of my time with Mingi these days, but even when San does come back to the room he’s not…present, you know? It feels like anything I say goes in one ear and out the other. We used to have a lot of fun living together, but lately it feels more like a rooming situation and less like a sleepover.”

“I’m struggling with the same thing. Wooyoungie was spending all his time with me while he and San were on the outs and now that they’re reconciled it feels like I was just a placeholder.”

“Oh Yeosang-ah, I’m positive that isn’t true. You can’t compare your relationship with Woo to his with San. It’s apples and oranges, one isn’t better than the other. They’re just different.”

“I know you’re right, but it’s hard sometimes. I’ve been bonding more with Hongjoong-hyung ever since we started rooming together in New York, but he’s not around that much for me to hang out with. Plus, something about him is off lately.”

“Off how?”

“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think it has something to do with Seonghwa-hyung.”

“Hmm, I haven’t noticed, but I’ll keep an eye out. Hey, what if I ambush Sannie with some plans and that’ll free things up for you to talk to Wooyoung?”

“That would be really great and it would help you too.”

“Consider it done!”

He definitely made the right choice in Yunho. He’s always the most optimistic member no matter what landmine they step on and he’s eager to make things better for everyone. Yeosang sips his tea and thinks about how to talk to Wooyoung without making him feel attacked. He’s one of the most defensive people he knows. He might have to just go with what feels right in the moment.

********

San is beyond exhausted. The album dropped two weeks ago and he feels like all he does is dance, sing, eat and sleep. Less of the last two than the first two for sure. They finally have an entire free day from lunchtime on and Yunho has asked to spend the day together. He’s excited, he knows he’s been neglecting his roommate lately and if he’s being honest with himself any more affectionate time with Wooyoung might give him a stroke. He hates that he can’t just be grateful that they’ve reconciled.

He didn’t expect the level of clinging that would result from their time apart. At first he fell into it like a desert wanderer into an oasis, drinking in every drop that Wooyoung poured into his parched mouth. After a while though, he remembered why he’d taken a step back in the first place. Their strong connection is a double-edged sword. On one hand he loves the purity of their friendship and on the other hand it feels so much like a romantic relationship that sometimes he forgets reality.

Two nights ago they had decided to have their millionth sleepover and he woke up in the middle of the night to the two of them intertwined and facing each other. He felt Wooyoung’s breath on his cheek and could feel how close their faces were on the pillow. Luckily he caught himself right before he leaned forward to press their lips together. The temptation had been strong in his half-awake state and he honestly hadn’t been positive he wasn’t dreaming in the first place. Once the gravity of what he’d almost done hit him he’d gotten up and snuck back into his own room, collapsing into his bed and burying his face in his pillow. He didn’t sleep another wink that night. He’s grateful to Yunho for giving him a good reason to take a beat and step back.

He’s in their room waiting for Yunho to get back from the shower and his phone pings. He looks down to see a text come in from Wooyoung, then another, and another.

Wooyoungie: Sannnniiiiieeeeee! Come spend our day off with me! Where are you?

San: Sorry, Young-ah. Yunho claimed roommate rights today and it’s been too long since I’ve spent time with him. Ask Yeosang for a best friend day!

Wooyoungie: Oh. Okay.

San frowns at the screen. It’s not like Wooyoung to give up so easily or to be so short in his response. He decides that now’s not the time to focus on that, today is about reconnecting with Yunho. He puts his phone on silent and slips it back into his pocket right as Yunho walks into the room, hair wet and smelling strongly of his signature soap.

“Alright, Sannie! What do you want to do today?”

“Don’t start with me, I owe you. Your choice.”

“Well then, you know what I’m going to say…”

San groans and trudges over to their television cabinet to get out the game system and start hooking up the controls. Yunho loves video games more than anyone he’s ever met and as a result he’s played every single game so much that he never loses. San doesn’t understand what’s fun about playing games that don’t even pose a challenge, but if this is what Yunho wants then this is what they’ll do. He sets up the first game and pulls their desk chairs close enough to the TV so that the cords reach. They plop down and start to play with a comfortable camaraderie, trash talking and laughing at each others’ mistakes. It feels so nice to relax that San doesn’t even care that he’s getting his ass kicked.

“San, can I ask you something?”

“Anything you want, Yunho-yah.”

“Has there been something going on with you lately that you’re uncomfortable talking to me about?”

San nearly drops the controller, but manages to save it at the last second. Smooth, no way to brush the question off now. He draws in a big breath and tries to decide the best way to answer honestly without telling the whole truth.

“I have had something on my mind the past few months, but it’s not that I’m uncomfortable talking to you about it. I just haven’t wanted to talk about it in general.”

“Does it have something to do with you spending so much time with Seonghwa-hyung lately?”

“Aish, did everyone notice us getting closer?!”

“I mean, yeah, kind of. You and Wooyoung spend a lot of time with hyung, but neither of you really do anything with him one-on-one.”

“Seonghwa and I got a lot closer once we started rooming together in New York and Europe.”

“Did–did you just drop his honorific?”

Well, shit.

“Sorry, the game was distracting me and I must’ve spoken too quickly.”

Not a good save, pabo.

“San-ah, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I don’t expect you to, that would be ridiculous. But…I hope you know that I’m here for you if you ever do want to talk. I’ll always listen and never judge. You’re my brother and I love you.”

San’s heart clenches in his chest at the words and he can feel tears pricking the backs of his eyes. He hits pause on his controller and leans forward to place it on the desk. Instead of sitting back up he braces his hands on the edge of the wood and hangs his head, trying to take deep breaths and stave off the tears. The last thing he needs right now is to tangle this web further by bringing Yunho in on it. He feels a big hand press softly between his shoulder blades and start to rub back and forth and the gentleness behind the gesture breaks him.

He starts to cry in earnest and turns his body into Yunho’s without opening his eyes or lifting his head. He buries his face into his roommate’s chest and lets the catharsis wash over him. He’s been working so hard to comfort Seonghwa and placate a clingy Wooyoung that he’s pushed his own emotions down for weeks and weeks. They were bound to come out eventually and he’s actually grateful that Yunho is the one to witness them. He knows he can trust him, they have a bond that only comes from living in close quarters with someone for so long. He cries until he has nothing left and then lifts himself off of Yunho’s chest, wiping his face on his shirt before he finally meets his gaze.

“Sannie, what’s wrong?”

“I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone else about this for a million reasons. I’m embarrassed. It’s a hopeless situation that no one can help anyway. It’s a burden that the rest of you don’t need. The more people that know the more complicated it all gets.”

“Again, you don’t have to tell me anything. I hope you know though that you never need to be embarrassed with me and you will never be a burden. I’ll always happily help you carry the load on your shoulders.”

San takes a deep breath and searches Yunho’s eyes for any indication that opening his mouth right now would be a stupid decision. He sees nothing but love and concern in the other man’s eyes and his willpower has been exhausted to its last wisp with Wooyoung the past few weeks. He steels himself and starts to tell Yunho everything from the beginning, making sure to leave out Seonghwa’s feelings for Hongjoong and the kissing. Those are not his secrets to tell. Whatever reaction he was expecting, it wasn’t Yunho’s hands reaching out to hold his in solidarity.

[borahae-777]

The Truth Untold -- Chapter 17: Today I Think I Have To Punish You

Pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook, Yoongi x Jimin

Word Count: Fic in progress, 190k so far. 3k-5k per chapter

Chapter Summary:

Jungkook squeals and squeezes his hyung one more time before he runs out the door and down the hall. He doesn’t even bother knocking on Taehyung’s door and bursts in before launching himself onto the bed on top of the other man.

“Kookie! What are you doing?! Agh, let me breathe!”

“I am never leaving enough space for you to breathe ever again. We won, Tae. We won!”

Warnings: Eventual Smut, BDSM, 18+, MxM

Later that week, Namjoon is pacing outside of the BigHit conference rooms. He has notecards in his hand, but finds that reading them just makes him more nervous. He’s been obsessing a bit too much over what to say to Bang ever since Jungkook came to him in Taiwan. He must have rewritten the cards a hundred times, but no words ever felt quite right. He’s going to just speak from the heart and let his brain carry him where he needs to go.

He walks up to the door and knocks, immediately told to enter. Bang is sitting there by himself with just a notepad in front of him. He’s grateful that he agreed to a private one-on-one meeting. The last thing they need is anyone else being let in on their secrets. He bows at the waist in respect before sitting at the opposite side of the table.

“Bang PD-nim, thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I have some things we need to talk about in light of the new contracts being signed soon.”

“I’m open to listening to whatever you have to say, you’ve all earned some leeway and I’m happy to provide what I can. Within reason of course.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that. I’m not here with everyone’s requests, simply to discuss a particular point and ask for some help. It’s about Jungkook and Taehyung.”

The man’s face begins to darken, clearly not expecting this topic and not wanting to broach it. He starts to squirm in his seat as he waits for Namjoon to continue, the respect between them probably the only thing keeping him from shutting down the discussion before it can begin.

“I’d like to negotiate for their right to be in a relationship. I know that I agreed to your separation plans and we tried it for months. It wasn’t working, for anyone. I’m sure you’ll admit the Run and Bangtan Bomb content to come out in that time was subpar, none of us were happy. The maknaes were distant and angry, the rest of us couldn’t stand to watch them in so much pain.”

“Namjoon. I can understand your point, but I’m not sure you understand mine.”

“With all due respect, I do. That’s why I went along with it at the beginning. I know the dangers and the risks to our career, but is success anything without love? Taehyung had Yoongi help him write a ballad for the album that was inspired by Jungkook. It’s beautiful and once you hear it I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s some amazing art that could come out of this.”

He knows that trying to make his argument line up with the company’s best interests is a big swing, but it’s worth trying. It’s not a lie, the new songs are amazing and they’re born of love. He makes a mental note to ask the boys if they’ve named either song yet. The new album is being wrapped up now and they need to complete the track list.

“Wow, there’s the Namjoon I met as a gangly teenager. Your brain is too sharp for your own good. That was an excellent way to spin that, I’m almost impressed.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as the other man speaks and starts to chuckle with a smirk.

“I know that they can be more discreet moving forward and we’re all willing to pitch in to help. We will keep an eye on them and gently nudge space between them when we need to. It’s what’s best for the group as a whole.”

“I suppose I can lift the separation rule, it’s not as if other idols don’t break dating bans and they’re not the first homosexual idols. I just think of you all as my sons and I don’t want anything to happen to you. It’s possible I handled it incorrectly and I’m willing to try it your way. You said you also need to ask for help. What do you need from me?”

Namjoon feels a tremble in his hand and knows that the next part could undo all the progress that they just made. He’s grateful that now the boys won’t get in trouble, but the note left for Jungkook throws a wrench into everything. This is a big ask.

“While we were in Taiwan something was taped to Jungkook’s hotel room door that leads us to believe that someone is aware of the feelings between him and Taehyung. I can’t tell you precisely what it was, that’s their private business. However, it has terrified Jungkook and it worries me as well. I was hoping to ask for some extra help. A little more security, perhaps staff members we could consider bringing into the fold for protection, maybe even having someone do a little digging?”

The CEO doesn’t say anything for a long time. He’s been alternating between writing in his notepad and tapping his pen on the table. His face is unreadable, which is rare for the man. Namjoon gulps and fiddles with his rings under the table. He doesn’t want to go as far as to refuse to consider signing their contracts until the company agrees to their terms. He’s hoping for a calmer negotiation over the course of the next few months.

“Okay Namjoon. Done.”

“Wh-What?”

“I’m willing to help. There will be an extra guard with both Taehyung and Jungkook moving forwards. I can make you a list of those currently on your staff detail that you can trust if you want to talk amongst yourselves about being open to telling them what’s going on. I will also hire a private investigator to look into those who were around you in Taiwan. Is there anything else?”

“No, no this is amazing. This is more than I could’ve hoped for. May I ask why you’ve had such a strong change of heart?”

“This stays between us, Namjoon. I know you’re aware of the consequences of breaking my confidence. Over the last six months since I separated your maknaes, one of my family members came out to us. While watching the strength and bravery of someone I loved so much, I felt ashamed that I drove a wedge between them. I wasn’t sure I should speak with you in case the separation did help them move on, but if things have been as hard as you’ve said then I’d like to fix my mistake.”

“Bang PD-nim, I am eternally grateful for everything you’ve done for us. This is perhaps the most compassionate thing anyone will ever do for our members. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, but the condition for this is that you need to keep me in the loop on everything. This will only work with communication and honesty in both directions.”

“I promise.”

He’s dismissed from the meeting and bows as he stands up from his chair. He walks out of the office and runs down the hall towards the parking garage. He finally has some good news and he needs to find Jungkook immediately.

*********

Yoongi is sitting on the roof in his usual spot, staring at the wall that Taehyung found him punching last week. Seeing the crack in the wood makes his stomach twist. It had reached its breaking point, just like he had. He’s been spending more time up here lately, not wanting to retreat to his studio when that’s where everyone expects him to be. He lays down on his back to watch the clouds go by when he hears footsteps approaching.

Oranges.

He freezes and rolls his eyes back to try and watch for Jimin’s shoes to enter his field of vision. He sees his face before he sees his feet and realizes that Jimin has laid down on his stomach, body propped up on his forearms so that he can lean over Yoongi and look him in the eye. He opens his mouth to say something to his dongsaeng, maybe to ask how he found him, but he’s stopped before he can.

Jimin lays a soft hand on his cheek and presses a kiss to his lips upside down. Yoongi doesn’t have time to overthink it, some sort of dam within him breaks and he lets out an embarrassing whimper as he presses into the kiss. Jimin’s lips feel so different from his angle and he traces them with his tongue, trying to memorize the curves and lines. His tongue slips between his lips and runs along his teeth until he’s granted entry. He reaches up and tangles his fingers into the younger man’s hair to try and bring him even closer.

A hand reaches up and laces their fingers together against the back of Jimin’s head. The kiss breaks and Yoongi can only stare up at the soft flushed pink on his cheeks, mesmerized. Jimin sits up, switching the hand that’s holding his, and walks over to sit in front of him.

“Hi, hyung.”

“Hey there, Jiminie.”

“I want to try this. I know the process has been painful so far and everything has been messy, but I can’t pretend that I haven’t wanted to be with you for years. I’ll never forgive myself if I lose this opportunity.”

Yoongi’s breath catches in his throat and he feels a lump in his throat. He doesn’t want to cry right now, but he feels such a profound sense of relief. Jimin is incredible. Anyone else would have written him off. He won’t mess this up again, he can’t mess this up again.

“Jimin. I don’t know how to express how grateful I am. I promise you I will never make those mistakes again. No more avoiding you when things get hard. No more outside people. Just me and you.”

He reaches up and presses the pad of his thumb to Jimin’s plush bottom lip. He presses down and drags across the entire length, feeling the small intake of breath the other man lets out as he opens his mouth to draw Yoongi into his mouth. His tongue swirls around his thumb and it’s maddening. How can something so simple be so sensual? There is grace in everything Jimin does.

He presses his thumb down against Jimin’s tongue, gently pushing his jaw open. The sight in front of him causes a curl of heat to settle in his stomach. He runs his hand along Jimin’s face and leans forward to swipe his tongue inside his open mouth to replace his thumb. The responding whine makes a growl grow inside his throat and he pulls back to pull his hoodie over his head. He reaches behind Jimin and balls up the fabric until it creates some cushioning. He slowly pushes the other man backwards until they’re laying flush against each other on the roof. “Jimin, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

He leans down, unable to take any more time off from kissing those perfect lips. Jimin’s hands come up and slide underneath his t-shirt, delicate but powerful as they trace up and down his spine. Chills run over his skin and he can’t stop himself from grinding his hips downwards. He freezes when he realizes they’re somehow both already hard despite how little has happened.

The feel of Jimin’s hard cock beneath his causes him to start to roll his hips harder, pressing them both into the hard surface of the roof. Thank god their rooftop is secluded enough for this, Yoongi isn’t sure he could stop now if he tried. He is in disbelief at the parallels between this and the…dream he had about Jimin. They’re practically retracing their steps.

He lifts up to pull his shirt over his head and tugs at the hem of Jimin’s to urge him to sit up enough to remove it. As the fabric crosses over his face, Yoongi’s heart stops. The look that emerges from the collar of Jimin’s shirt flusters him. The messy hair, the pink pout, the curve of his collarbones and the words etched across his honey-kissed ribs. This is everything.

Jimin grabs him by the back of the neck and pulls him back down, their bare skin pressed together inch for inch. He’s yearning to touch and be touched, but is hesitant about how. He has no experience with this, but is not the type to let someone else take control. He remembers Jimin being a brat in his dream and wonders if that part may also come true. He pulls away from the kiss and decides to keep his promise to communicate better.

“Jimin-ah, can I ask you a few questions?”

“Of course, hyung. Here, let me sit up. What’s on your mind?”

“There are some things we should talk about before we let this go where we want it to go. As I told you, I got tested since my last partner. What about you?”

“There hasn’t been anyone in years and I’m clean.”

“Okay, um, I guess the only way to ask this is bluntly. Do you fall anywhere under the BDSM umbrella?”

“What do you think?” Jimin bursts into a peal of laughter that sounds like church bells and Yoongi can’t help but smile back despite his nerves.

“I know what my theory would be, but I don’t want to make any assumptions.”

“Yes, I’m a sub. Every so often I’m bratty, but it’s not constant. You asking this is so cute when I know there’s no way you’re not a very severe dom. It’s so cute to see you nervous like this.”

“Oh, is it?”

Yoongi tangles a hand through Jimin’s hair and tugs tight, baring the column of his throat. He lowers his lips to the skin and draws it into his mouth, trying his best not to bite down and leave a mark. He manages to just barely graze the spot with his teeth and he can feel the blood pounding in Jimin’s pulse.

“Not so mouthy now, are you?”

“Mmph.”

“Here’s how this is going to go. Daddy is going to touch you and you’re going to tell him what feels good and what doesn’t. If you’re a good, obedient little teacher then you’ll get a prize. If you need anything to stop, I want you to snap your fingers, okay?”

“Y-yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes…Daddy.”

Yoongi can feel a violent twitch jerk through his cock at hearing those words come from Jimin’s angelic mouth. He could feel the vibration of each word at his throat and he lets out a growl before he pulls backwards. He pushes Jimin backwards with one hand until he’s laying flat again and pushed his legs open so he can kneel between those powerful thighs.

He takes a moment to appreciate the sight laid out in front of him before he leans down and presses a soft kiss against each of his collarbones. He licks down Jimin’s chest until he reaches a nipple and draws it in between his teeth gently. His back bows as he pushes his chest up towards Yoongi and moans.

“Oh, baby likes that, does he? Noted.”

He smirks up at Jimin, noticing his head lifted to watch Yoongi kissing his way down his torso. The look on his face is desperate and vulnerable and it’s dangerous. He wants to completely tear him apart. He gets to the button on Jimin’s pants and grabs the flap in his teeth, pulling them open with a sharp jerk of his head. He hears his name on the air in the form of a whimper and he pulls the zipper down with his teeth.

“Are you okay? Would you like me to keep going?”

“Hyung, if you stop now I might die right here. Please.”

He lets out a chuckle and backs up so he can peel the tight pants off of Jimin’s legs. He sits up onto his heels to stare. Jimin’s face is flushed and almost pained, his chest heaving and cock pressing tight against the front of his black boxer-briefs. Yoongi starts to feel nervous, this is all so new. He pushes it aside and dives in with confidence.

He leans forward and hovers his warm mouth open above the last scrap of fabric touching Jimin’s body. He purposely doesn’t make contact, enjoying the squirming beneath him far too much. He looks up and catches Jimin’s eyes, he sees his hands tangling in his own hair and smiles.

“God, you look so incredible between my legs.”

That one sentence pushes him over the edge, he grips Jimin’s hip with one hand and presses his lips directly to the hard length covered in front of him. The resounding gasp from above spurs him on and he explores the length with his lips, working his way up to having the courage to bare that last bit of skin. He moves his way up towards his waistband and runs his nose back and forth over the strip of skin right above it. He slowly reaches up with both hands and lowers Jimin’s underwear to just below his cock.

He springs free of the fabric and Yoongi feels drops of precum fall from his own aching length. He has never seen anything so sexy, so perfect. He tentatively flicks his tongue across the head, getting a feel for what this might feel like. He glances up at Jimin who has gone silent. He looks like he’s holding breath.

“You’re supposed to be telling me what feels good, little one. Don’t make Daddy punish you.”

“That. That feels good, Daddy. Keep licking. Swirl your tongue around my head.”

He complies and hears a keening break from Jimin’s throat, which finally makes his head click into its confident dom space. He’s going to show this perfect man exactly how he feels and exactly what he can do. He quickly nips at both of his hips before taking the head of his cock entirely in his mouth. He feels hands wrap into his hair and doesn’t bother trying a command to have Jimin keep still, it feels amazing to be touched.

He starts to bob up and down, getting used to the sensation. He feels like he wants to devour Jimin whole. Having the weight of him inside his mouth this way is incredibly erotic. He never saw this coming, but he feels like he could drive him wild like this for hours. He relishes the heavy gasps and soft sounds coming from above his head and can’t help but look up every so often, always finding Jimin already looking back. He adds his hand to the rhythm with a squeeze and hears a yell.

“FUCK. Hyung, I’m so close, you may want to back up.”

Yoongi pulls Jimin out of his mouth just long enough to smirk and utter one word before he returns with fervor: “Never.”

Jimin’s entire body tenses and he shrieks a high note that really should be put onto one of their tracks. Yoongi feels a rush against his tongue and tries to swallow the salty liquid, knowing some is spilling from the corners of his small mouth. He sits still, letting Jimin sit in his mouth until he feels him soften. He pulls back and looks up.

An angel is splayed naked to the world across the roof. He’s panting and trembling. His face is pink and his eyes unfocused. He is art. He is music. He is romance.

“Was that really your first time touching another man?’

“It was.”

“Holy shit. You’re a natural. That was amazing. I don’t think that sight will ever leave my brain as long as I live. Do you-do you mind if I touch you?”

Yoongi suddenly can’t breathe. This is all he’s wanted for months and he’s terrified. He’s come this far, it’s time to be brave. He nods silently and Jimin sits up to press a soft kiss against his lips. He tries to relax his body as he’s flipped over and laid in the warm spot left behind. Jimin slips a tongue into his mouth before kissing across his cheek and nudging his chin up with his nose. His lips feel like warm pillows as they press down his neck with tiny sucking motions. He’s barely making contact and yet Yoongi can feel each little spot burn.

He flicks a tongue out at one of his nipples and his hips buck up involuntarily. Jimin’s hand travels down his stomach to the waistband of his sweatpants and pulls them and his underwear down in one swoop, surprising him and making him sit up in embarrassment. His hard and leaking cock pops out against his stomach and he flushes red.

“Hyung, my god. I can feel myself starting to drool.” Jimin is murmuring softly against his skin and he aches to be touched.

“Jiminie. Touch me.”

With a soft groan, Jimin doesn’t waste any time. He slides Yoongi’s cock into his mouth and immediately allows him to hit the back of his throat. It brings his whole body up off the roof and he curls himself around the other’s head, fingers tangling in his hair. He’s already losing his composure.

He sits up and leans back on his hands to give him space to move while still being able to watch. Their eyes meet and Jimin never closes them or looks away. There is nothing more sinful than the sight of him sucking Yoongi’s cock while looking straight at him.

“If you keep looking at me like that I’m not going to last very long.”

The devil enters Jimin’s eyes then and he changes his rhythm to speed up. He moves his muscles like water, he dances even now. His tongue is doing something that Yoongi can’t quite pick out, all he knows is it’s shooting lightning up his body. He can’t hold it anymore as a wave of heat spreads from head to toe and he cries out, spilling onto Jimin’s tongue. He hears his satisfied hums as his throat swallows.

“Fuck, Jimin. Fuck.”

“Was I a good boy, hyung?”

“You were the best boy, baby. Come here.”

Jimin crawls up his body and tucks his head under his shoulder, letting out a contented sigh. He wraps both arms around him and presses soft kisses to his head. This is paradise.

********

Jungkook is laying in his bed with headphones on and his eyes closed. He disappears into music when he’s stressed. He’s been keeping to himself the last few days since leaving Taiwan. He had apologized to Tae for not making it to his room, claiming exhaustion and it was easily accepted. Everyone has been tired lately, emotionally drained and physically overworked. He can feel himself dozing when someone bursts into the room without knocking.

“Jungkookie! Jungkookie! Jungkookie!”

“Namjoon-hyung, are you okay?! What is it?”

“I just met with Bang and he’s going to support your relationship.”

“What?! How?! Why?!”

“I sat down with him and laid out why you and Taehyung deserve to be together, told him what happened in Taiwan, and asked him for his help. He agreed to everything. No more separation. Extra security. Trusted staffers. A private investigator to try and dig into who may have left the note. Everything, Kookie! Everything!”

Jungkook is speechless. This is more than he ever could have hoped for. He’s been so anxious about everything, wondering what’s going to force him and Tae apart next. They’re going to get a shot, a real shot, to make this thing work. He’s got the members and the CEO backing them and he trusts them all implicitly.

He leaps up and jumps into Namjoon’s arms, giggling high and bright. He loves his leader so much, choosing BigHit in order to follow him was the right choice, he’s reminded of this constantly but never so much as right now.

“Hyung, I don’t know how to ever thank you enough for what you’re doing. I’m going to start by taking you to the fanciest dinner you want sometime this week. Just me and you. Order the whole menu if you want!”

“Thanks, Kook. That sounds great. Now, isn’t there somewhere you need to be?”

Jungkook squeals and squeezes his hyung one more time before he runs out the door and down the hall. He doesn’t even bother knocking on Taehyung’s door and bursts in before launching himself onto the bed on top of the other man.

“Kookie! What are you doing?! Agh, let me breathe!”

“I am never leaving enough space for you to breathe ever again. We won, Tae. We won!”

“Won what? Try making some sense!”

“Namjoonie-hyung went to Bang PD-nim and fought for us. The company is going to let us be together! No more separation!”

Taehyung gasps and pushes forward to capture Jungkook’s lips in a powerful kiss. It brings a sharp buzz into his head and he presses back, opening his mouth to his tongue. They both start to lose their breath as they push and pull against each other, clothes disappearing one by one. In a flash, they’re nothing but bare skin pressed together at every possible inch.

Jungkook looks down at their bodies and marvels at the pale hue of his skin against all the cinnamon softness of Tae’s. He groans under his breath and moves backwards so he can wrap his hand around Taehyung’s half-hard cock. It doesn’t take long for it to grow and stiffen beneath his touch, leaking at the tip. He’s been paying close attention to what he likes so that he can bring him to the edge anytime he wants. He can’t hold back anymore as he kneels between Taehyung’s spread legs and takes him into his mouth.

“God, Kookie. Fast learner. You’re killing me.”

He smiles as much as he’s able and starts to move faster, a hand underneath his face to keep him from going too deep and choking. He swirls his tongue around the head, slips his tongue into the salty slit in the center, squeezes just right with his hand. He flicks his eyes up to watch Tae and sees his eyes squeezed shut and his fingernails digging into his palms. He hums to get his attention, savoring the way the vibration makes him whimper. When their eyes meet, he tries to send the message that he doesn’t have to hold back. He must understand because he grabs the sides of Jungkook’s head and takes over, fucking into his mouth and hand.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Take my cock like a champ. You beautiful, beautiful man.”

Jungkook is shocked at the way the words cut through him and shoot straight to his groan. The phrases are full of praise but also so filthy and a little degrading. He loves it. What is this new side of himself he’s discovering? He can’t think about it now, he’s trying to focus on breathing through his nose and not choking.

“Kookie, I’m gonna-I can’t…mmph.”

Taehyung twitches and stills, pumping cum down his throat and Jungkook drinks it all up like water. His chest is heavy with emotion and he pulls his head back as Tae’s hands disappear. He looks up in wonder and can’t believe that he’s somehow even more handsome than usual. He decides that swept-away-Taehyung is the best Taehyung.

He’s suddenly hauled up by the shoulders and flipped over, pinned to the bed with Taehyung propped up above him. He feels small and powerless and really likes it. He lays still and silent, waiting to see what happens next.

“Jungkook, do you remember in Taiwan when you decided to try and tease me in the dressing room?”

“Y-yes?”

“Payback time.”

********

Jimin feels like he’s floating. He knows he made the right choice, he’s never felt anything like that before. Yoongi is the only person he’s ever been in love with and he always assumed that sex being better when there’s love involved was just a cliche. It’s not. It’s absolutely everything. They’d laid on the roof until they got cold and then they got dressed, trading soft kisses in between movements. He walked Yoongi to his studio, wishing more than anything that he could have held his hand on the way there.

Now he’s crashed out on his bed, replaying every second in his mind. The way Yoongi had looked at him had made him feel beautiful. It’s the same face he has every time they go to an art museum. The entire thing is surreal and Jimin can’t wait to tell Taehyung and Jungkook. Should they talk to Namjoon and the others? Probably. Their leader was nice enough to lift their ban, they should respect that privilege. Tomorrow, for sure.

His phone starts to buzz and he’s hoping it’s Yoongi calling, but instead Dae-hyun’s name flashes across the screen. He smiles and picks up, always glad to hear from his new friend.

“Hi! How are you?!”

“Hi, Jimin-ssi. I have something I want to talk to you about and I’m going to do my best to get it all out. Okay?”

“Um, okay, but I hope you’re okay. You’re worrying me.”

“It’ll all make sense in a minute. Look, I love spending time with all of you, I’ve never had a solid group of friends who all accepted me and liked me. Having this for the first time in my life has been eye-opening. I appreciate what you’ve done for me so much, but I can’t keep coming over.”

“What?! Dae-hyun, why? Did I do something wrong?”

“God, no, absolutely not. You’re amazing, I promise this isn’t your fault. I want what’s best for you and I know that that isn’t me. I need you to just trust me, this is the right thing to do.”

“Trust you? You’re just abandoning me, abandoning all of us. You’re being so vague, don’t you even have the courage to tell me why?”

“I don’t. I’m so sorry, Jimin. I’m not strong or brave the way you are, I can’t talk about this. I need to keep it to myself. Please just understand that I will always care about all of you and I wish things could be different.”

“Whatever. See you at work, I guess. Bye.”

Jimin hangs up and bursts into tears. He doesn’t understand what just happened. How is he going to explain this to everyone? They’ve all really liked having Dae-hyun around.

Everyone leaves Jimin.