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"I sort fics by kudos and only kudos on stories with high kudos counts, why aren't there more stories with high kudos, I ran out of things to read." You're part of the problem.

"Authors artificially inflate comment counts by thanking people, I can't find anything with a real comment count to read." No they fucking are not, they're grateful for engagement.

"I can't read anything under 100k." That's the majority of fics you're ignoring, most novels aren't even that long.

"I don't have time to look for the incredibly rare diamond in the rough, so I won't read anything below a certain amount of kudos, comments, and hits." Those fics are popular because people gave them a chance and then snobs like you found them.

"I won't read anthing with a single typos." You made typos in that sentence, get off your high horse.

"One singular author didn't thank me for commenting, I'm never commenting on any fic again so I don't get burned." You're punishing people because someone didn't give you engagement they don't owe you that they might not have seen.

"This fic is three months old, it's so old, it doesn't matter if I comment or kudos, it's old." Fics do not have expiration dates, comment and kudos.

You're killing your fandoms with your snobbish behaviors.

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how do i unlock treats app?

ID: Picture of an orange and white tabby taken in selfie mode, he is just peeking over the bottom of the screen

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Shitty parents will guilt their kids about how much they have to suffer to put a roof over their head, like having kids was the only reason they had to grudgingly give up on a lifelong dream of being homeless.

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The Suite Life of Zack & Cody (2005-2008) 02.23 Lost in Translation

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I feel like one of the reasons why the US is Like That is the difference between countries and states. Because apparently when you're nominally still the same country, different states can pull absolute bullshit on each other that would not fly in relations between two countries.

Like if idk Belgium decided "hey we have this huge homelesness problem that we've been neglecting for decades while allowing it to get progressively worse, but we figured out how to fix it: we're loading all the homeless people onto buses and moving them across the border to France", the french response wouldn't just be "aw naw ugh I wish they couldn't do that :/"

It'd be "hey buddy that's really funny, do you want to see how fast we can get tanks on the streets of your capital?"

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when a male character has long hair and the writing team decide to cut it to show “character growth”………electric chair

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having an experience

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This is too much.

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If you're having a private phone conversation with the phone off your ear, no headphones, and the speaker on in public, that's a public conversation now. That's an open invite, and I'm going to chime in if I have an opinion. This is now OUR disagreement about your boyfriend's spending habits.

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i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society

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shota looks up from his papers when you heave what’s probably the most dramatic sigh he’s ever heard. he casts you an exasperated glance before asking a reluctant, “what?”

you look up at him through your lashes from where you’re sat on the other side of the couch, prodding him with your foot. “do you even like me?”

he holds his deadpan gaze for a second longer before returning to his work. “i’m not going to answer that.”

“what?!” you sit up, appalled and scowling. you crawl over to lean heavy on his shoulder, determined to interrupt his peace. “what the hell does that mean?!”

“there’s no good answer for that,” he replies, (mostly) unbothered to your pervasion of his personal space. “if i say yes, you’ll say something like ‘so you don’t love me’ and if i say no, you’ll have a fit. if i say ‘i love you’ you’ll say i didn’t answer your question. there’s no winning.”

you sit, dumbfounded. he’s got you there... 

“but—”

“yes, i like you. love you, even. no, i don’t want to break up. yes, i think about you every day and yes, i miss you when i’m away on missions. and no, i do not want anyone else. just you.”

he looks up and holds your gaze steady, the hint of a self-satisfied smirk tugging his lips at your wide eyes and flushed cheeks. you huff a little, bashful as you settle back onto him, placated by his answer (…for now).

several moments pass in soft silence until you open your mouth to say something else and shota drops his pen, heaving out a long-suffering sigh. 

“and yes, i would still love you if you were a worm.”

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The come-down from doing a good deed is crazy. Like I think I could rescue a baby from a burning building and 30 minutes later I’d be like, “Idk was it cringe of me to run into that building like that? The baby didn’t even seem that happy to get rescued. Honestly maybe the baby started the house fire and I interrupted an important life lesson.”

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if you wiped every ICE agent off the face of the earth, a hundred million people would become safer overnight. if you wiped every furry off the face of the earth, the entire internet would collapse for good in a matter of hours. i know where my allegiances lie.

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staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

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"Because I said so" straight up isn't as good an answer as you think it is.