braveangel777

[braveangel777]

I bought two

grief is like a wild animal, thrashing and snarling.

she sinks her teeth in, pulling me limb from limb

as I close my eyes, accepting my fate,

she lets up, one split second,

just enough for me to run

so I run for my life

past the trees, the forest, past the beaches and park benches, weaving through suburbs and school zones,

until she disappears in my rear view

I breathe out relief while she waits patiently, lurking in the shadows

until one day, she catches up to me in the candle aisle

slicing my achilles, I’m frozen in place,

mothers, couples, and school children pass by

they stare, but I don’t notice

I stay like this,

a candle clutched to my chest like a life vest

blood pooling in my sneakers

promises unkept spilling down my cheeks, extinguishing the small flame

and like most things lately,

it returns to ash

k.c.

[braveangel777]

dear you,

i hate you for leaving, and i hate me for crying.

[braveangel777]

losing a friend is knowing a stranger's face, a stranger's favourite colour, and a stranger's deepest secrets. But they will not smile at the sight of you. You brush shoulders with someone who has seen you broken and breaking. You brush shoulders with a stranger and know they don't miss you too.

[braveangel777]

It’s one thing to miss someone that’s no longer here but missing someone that’s still alive, that you can no longer talk to fucking sucks.

[braveangel777]

I’m currently going through a really hard friendship breakup…

“I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep. The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign”

“People are people, and sometimes we change our minds. But it's killing me to see you go after all this time”

“All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around. I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down”

“This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong.”

“Did you have to ruin, what was shining, now it's all rusted.”

“And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there. I remember it all too well.”

“But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss. I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs”

“I stopped CPR, after all it's no use. The spirit was gone, we would never come to. And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.”

“And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it. My white knuckle dying grip. Holding tight to your quiet resentment”

“Dancing phantoms on the terrace. Are they second-hand embarrassed? That I can't get out of bed, cause something counterfeit's dead.”

“Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed she was a lion’

“I can't pretend like I understand. How did it end?”

“Each bar plays our song. Nothing has ever felt so wrong”

“I’ve been picking up the pieces of the mess you made”

“So many things that you wish I knew. But the story of us might be ending soon”

“I call my mom, she said to get it off my chest. Remind myself the way you faded 'til I left. I cannot be your friend. So I pay the price of what I lost. And what it cost. Now that we don't talk”

“You paint me a blue sky. Then go back and turn it to rain. And I lived in your chess game. But you changed the rules everyday”

“Oh, what a shame. What a rainy ending given to a perfect day. Just walk away. Ain't no use defending words that you will never say. And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through. I’ve never been anywhere cold as you.”

“I don't have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy. And I bet you think about me”

Trying to find Taylor lyrics to make sense of it all

Why is losing a friend so fucking tough to get through??

[braveangel777]

if you're wondering how long until it stops hurting

it never does.

you will go through life as if it never happened, you might even think you're over it at some point.

just until it all crashes down on you on a random night.

and you're back at it again. back to square one.

[braveangel777]

Platonic heartbreak.

I miss you. Every day. Like a ghost that lingers in the corners of my mind. Like a song stuck between my ribs, like a bruise I press just to feel something.

We stayed up countless nights, laughter bubbling between us like champagne, spilling, sparkling, making the darkness bearable. Our sharp barbed words were love letters in disguise. Each insult a vow. each jab a reassurance. I see you. I hear you. I know you.

I’ve only seen you cry twice, but you let me fall apart a thousand times. Let my head rest on your shoulder like it belonged there. We were bound by more than blood, more than time, more than friendship. We were battle-worn soldiers, wounds still fresh, scars still aching, bodies stolen but spirits unbroken.

We lost ourselves in pleasure, but never in each others. We were not lovers, but god, we were more than friends. We sharpened our tongues until they were weapons, but only ever sparred, never maimed, never cut deep, except when we didn’t mean to.

You always said my name first, like a call, like a prayer, like an anchor. Like you wanted to make sure I was listening. And now?

Now your silence is deafening.

I grieve you as though you are dead, but I can’t speak the words out loud. Because you weren’t just in my life, you tangled yourself into it, knotted up in my mother’s heart.

woven into my sister’s eyes, she holds a grudge shaped like love. Maybe that was our ending written in ink before we ever knew.

They are angry for me. Outraged. Because you left like you were never here at all. Like love can just be packed away and carried out the door. I pretend. I nod. I agree. I let them think I’m angry. I let them think I don’t care.

But I do, and I can't tell you how much I do.

I wonder when you put on the hoodie I bought you, when you drive with the windows down, do the songs we sang still taste like summer?

Like freedom?

Like us?

You were my best friend. And I think about you every day. And I am happy. I swear, I am.

But this, this hurts.

I am waiting. Waiting for the day the memories feel like warmth instead of wounds. Waiting for the day the man I love doesn’t ask, what’s wrong? Waiting for the day I can answer without your name sitting on the edge of my tongue, without heartbreak sitting heavy in my chest.

I hope you are happy. I hope you wish me happiness too.

I hope—

I hope—

I hope.

[braveangel777]

I live my life in a constant state of grief of what I did, what I didn’t do, and what I can never do.

[braveangel777]

by Rachel Zucker, from her collection Thunderbird

[braveangel777]

"No strong person carries an untouched soul. Behind every unwavering gaze lies a storm, behind every quiet voice an echo of pain. Reason grows from the ruins of what once shattered—and yet the shards shine in the light."

[braveangel777]

[braveangel777]

“I was looked at, but I wasn’t seen.”

-Albert Camus, “The Misunderstanding.”

[braveangel777]

Don't ever let someone make you feel guilty because they are suffering the consequences of their own actions.

[braveangel777]

You hold yourself so well, people would never suspect you're going through hell.

[braveangel777]

I knew that it was cruel to be so optimistic, but, in my solitude, I couldn't resist the urge and spent entire days basking in idiotic fantasies, sometimes verging on prayer.

[braveangel777]

If hurting me does not hurt you, you don’t love me. You’re using me.

k.b // by jerry flowers jr

[braveangel777]

"Remember why you started this path. Not by chance, not on a whim. But because there was a fire burning inside you – a dream, a goal, something bigger than yourself. Along the way, you will doubt. You will fall. And there will be days when you forget how strong you truly are. But in those very moments, when your body says, 'I can't go on,' and the path ahead seems dark – that's exactly when you must remember. Who you were, who you became, and why you never gave up. Because sometimes it's not strength that carries you through the storm, but the memory of that first step. And of the person who was willing to risk everything – for a dream no one else could see."