breaking-twilight

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i'm making my partner, who is a 39-year-old man with very little knowledge of Twilight, watch Twilight. i will be adding things he says over stills from the film.

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someone: wait, you like twilight?

me:

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jasper is what?????? the only vampire in the history of forever that had more than one singular vampire lover??? and edward doesn’t slut shame him every minute of every goddamn day?????? plot HOLE

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i'm so obsessed with billy burke making the choice to know as little about twilight as he could in order to play charlie he really said fuck them vampires true method amazing oscar nomination when

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I’m still baffled at the fact that Stephenie Meyer decided to make a 23 y/o the adoptive father of five teenagers who actively dated each other in public and everybody was like. Okay with it. In a town with less than 4000 people. Fuck the sparkling, Twilight’s biggest mistake was that, for vampires who allegedly try to blend in with humans, the Cullens are weird as shit and don’t care about remaining anonymous, and that jackassery would not stand in the real world. 

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I’m gonna sparkle on this wednesday if it fucking kills me

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fuck twilight. am i right, my fellow twilight bloggers

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/interactive/2022/people-names-for-dogs/

this is killing me

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Glee (2013) // The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

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it’s so nice of them to lay out a carrot for edward even though they know he’s not coming