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True Love <3

(original audio by average_jake_)!

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apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

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CITATION NEEDED?!!!

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(Same universe as this)

Robin posts a TikTok captioned: New Roommate

The whole video is a compilation of her trying to film her crafts while Steve and Eddie are off-camera having the world’s dumbest conversations. It’s like:

Robin, on camera: *crocheting a blanket*

Eddie: I haven’t seen 12 Angry Men. What about that? Wanna do 12 Angry Men?

Steve: Not in one night. Jesus.

Robin, on camera: *making a mosaic*

Eddie: What’s it called when time is bisexual?

Steve: …Biweekly?

Eddie: That’s it. I get paid biweekly.

Robin: *restocking her bead cases*

Steve, walking into the room: - one to talk, you pissed in the sink.

Robin: What?!

Eddie: Not our sink.

Robin: *trying and failing to spin clay on a pottery wheel she bought*

Steve, loud: Dude, just talk. I get distracted by your hands and miss what you’re signing.

Eddie, also loud: Do. You. Want to. Door. Dash?

Steve:

Steve: Wow. Yelling at the hearing impaired? That’s so offensive.

Steve: Robbie, cancel him.

Robin, flat: Eddie, you’re cancelled. Trash duty for a month.

Eddie: A month!? You set me- *video cuts*

Robin, on camera: *trying to film a tutorial*

Eddie: Bisexual, huh? And you sleep with mostly women? Interesting.

Steve:

Steve: I can fuck your uncle if you’re concerned about it.

Robin: *opens her mouth to speak but Dumb and Dumber just walked into the room*

Robin: *rolls eyes at camera*

Eddie: *complaining in the background*

Eddie: Did you just turn off your hearing aids?

Steve:

Eddie: *aggressive jingling as he signs*

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please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

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Spy x family cracks me up because like fake marriage this. Fake marriage that. Bitch please. Yall cohabitate. Yall are raising a child you've legally adopted. Yall have a binding marriage certificate. Yall aren't fake married. Yall are married married. Fake marriage my ass.

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i will never make a fandom sideblog you will get everything on one blog and you will like it. you will learn to love all my interests even if you followed for just one. my blog #myblog

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Hear me out, Hitman!Eddie AU where he’s hired by a mafia syndicate to kill off the only son of another mafia boss.

Eddie makes up a whole plan so he can get close to his target, then get rid of the guy without leaving any traces behind; Eddie’s specialty, really.

Enter Steve Harrington, son of Richard Harrington, mafia boss who controls most territories in Indiana, Ohio and Kentucky. Steve, who’s spent his whole life trying to run from the family business and make a real career out of modeling. Steve, who just wants to have a normal life and spend his days not having to wage war against other crime lords.

Steve meets Eddie in one of his modeling gigs and they just click. They fool around for a few weeks before things start to get serious. Eddie’s plan was to seduce Steve, earn his trust, then fake an accident to cover up the man’s death. But once Eddie gets access to the real Steve? The funny dork who has the awful habit of waking up way too early on weekends and cries every time he watches The Lion King? When Eddie gets access to this Steve he falls hard and fast and there’s no turning back from that.

The enemy syndicate pressures Eddie to finish the job, but Eddie does his best to stall, as he tries to find a way to get out of that fucking mess he’s put himself into. Then one day the rival boss loses his patience. He hires a second hitman to finish Steve off.

The second guy makes no elaborate plan, he just tries to shoot Steve out in the open, whilst he and Eddie are walking out of the theatre on a Friday night. Eddie sees him just in time and gets Steve out of the way. There’s a fight. Eddie gets shot, but manages to kill the other man and take Steve to safety.

That’s how Eddie ends up telling Steve the truth about everything.

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Give me accidental rule lawyer Steve Harrington.

Eddie thought Dustin was pedantic but no no, turns out Dustin is nothing compared to Steve "let me see that" Harrington.

Only Steve combines it with his natural charisma and the skills gifted to him via all tje forced boring networking parties his parents dragged him to so anytime the Party wants to justify pulling a downright stupid move in D&D, they call in Steve.

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let’s be cocooned by mama

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Anyone: Wow, Hanguang-jun looks so calm and composed. I wonder how he does it… Lan Wangji, internally: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f-

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Steddie where Steve and Eddie are childhood friends because Wayne used to work for the Harringtons and the two boys end up growing up together.

It’s all good and well whilst they are kids. Steve’s parents don’t mind their friendship because they are sure the boys will eventually grow apart as time passes and their different upbringings become more obvious.

The problem is that their friendship just gets stronger with time and, by the time they’re in High School they’re inseparable and Steve’s crush on Eddie is so embarrassingly obvious anyone with eyes can see it.

The Harringtons are not happy when they realize their son is getting way too close to the Munson kid, and things get ugly when Richard Harrington is made aware that most of Hawkins believe Wayne’s nephew is queer.

They send Steve away. Send him to a boarding school in New Jersey, where Richard’s mother lives, and don’t even give him a chance to say goodbye to anyone.

Their efforts are useless, though.

Steve finds a way to keep in touch with Eddie by sneaking out of school to send him letters. The school eventually finds out Steve is sneaking out and contacts his grandmother, his closest family, to let her know what’s happening.

When she asks Steve about it, he tells her everything. He tells her his parents sent him away because they found out he had feelings for another boy and people around town were saying shit behind his back, that his father didn’t let him say goodbye to any of his friends and that he’s lying to everybody that Steve got a scholarship in some fancy school.

“Dear Lord, I knew Richard was a dumbass, but I had no idea how much.”

And that’s how Steve ends up getting his grandmother’s help and they come up with a whole plan so he can keep sending his letters to Eddie without his father knowing.

By the time Steve graduates, he and Eddie are happily dating. They elope as soon as both of them are free from High School, and only Wayne and Steve’s grandmother get the courtesy of knowing their whereabouts.

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Eddie is the fun parent and Steve is the strict one, sure. But let’s talk about the times Eddie gets mad.

Their kids would be throwing tantrums or being difficult for the sake of being difficult and Steve would try to deal with them. A teenage daughter getting frustrated because Steve won’t let her go to a party everybody is going to that weekend because they’re supposed to visit grandpa Wayne back in Hawkins.

She tries to argue, to plead, but Steve keeps saying no. It’s been three months since they paid Wayne a visit and it’s his freaking birthday so, no, she can’t miss the trip and go to a party. And in the middle of their argument, their daughter screams “I HATE YOU!!” to Steve with such rage that Steve stops, stunned.

When he recovers from the shock, he just says, “Hate me all you want, you’re still not going to that party,” then leaves their daughter’s room.

Five minutes later Eddie comes in and closes the door quietly behind him. Their daughter is about to snap at him too, but she closes her mouth when she sees her Papa’s dead serious expression. He crosses the room and stops right before the bed, where their daughter is sitting, and looks her straight in the eye.

“Listen here, darling, you’re gonna put on the best regretful face you can, apologize to your father and you’re gonna mean it. Do you understand?”

“But—”

“Nah, ah. I don't think you're understanding. This is not a discussion, so I'm gonna say it again. You're gonna go downstairs right now, you're gonna apologize to your father and you're gonna mean it. Do. You. Understand?”

“Yes, Papa.”

“Good. You’re also grounded for however long I’m still pissed. So, if I were you, I’d be in my best behavior when we visit Wayne this weekend.”

(Nobody makes Eddie’s husband cry. Not even their own daughter.)

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Babysitting Cream

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(here, have some single parent eddie that got away from me)

Steve and Eddie drift apart after defeating Vecna. They don’t have a falling out or anything, it’s just a situation where Steve goes to Bloomington with Robin when she starts at IU, and Eddie tries his luck with the music scene in Chicago. Dustin’s still in contact with both of them, and he occasionally mentions them to each other, but they don’t really talk.

Eddie loves the city, but he spends a good ten years having little success in music. He doesn’t have much luck in love, either, and it culminates in a deadbeat baby mama who skips town before their kid is even old enough to talk. He gives up on late-night gigs for good to focus on his day job and take care of his daughter.

His little girl is the love of his life. He spoils her rotten every chance he gets, and they sing and read and play pretend together every minute he’s not working. He’s her whole world, too; he fills her life with so much love that she hardly notices she doesn’t have a mom.

When she’s six, he buys her a tiny guitar to teach her how to play, but even though she’s a natural (of course she is—she’s his kid), she kind of loses interest. He knows she’s entitled to her own passions, but he can’t help feeling a little disappointed when she asks if she can take dance lessons instead.

Still, he signs them both up for classes at the community center near their house. It’s not a fancy studio run by some ex-professional, but it’s what they can afford. Dustin was the one who suggested it—said he heard there was a teacher there who’s really good with kids, though when Eddie pressed him on how the hell he could know anything about a volunteer dance instructor in Chicago, he’s cagey about his answer.

When they show up for the first class, though, it makes sense. Because standing at the front of the room, in all his bespectacled, salt-and-pepper glory, is Steve.

Steve, who looks just as surprised to see Eddie there, with an excited little girl whose curls and big, dark eyes are unmistakable. He glances down at the clipboard in his hand, and he must see their names on the sign-up list, because he does a double take and squints at it.

Before either of them can say a word, Eddie’s daughter makes a beeline for Steve and tugs on the sleeve of his jacket.

“Lizzie—!”

“Are you gonna teach me and my dad how to dance? He says he’s real bad at it, but he’s gonna try super hard so he can keep up with me.”

Steve blinks down at her for a second, clearly startled, but he recovers quickly. Smiling, he says, “Sure thing, kiddo. But we’re not gonna slow down for him, are we?”

She giggles and shakes her head, shooting Eddie a mischievous look that he knows Wayne must have seen from him a million times.

Steve looks up, meets Eddie’s eye with an impish grin of his own, and adds, “We’re gonna have tons of fun.”

And just like that, Eddie’s dormant crush on the one who got away is alive and well. By the end of the class, he can’t tell if it’s lucky or terrifying that Lizzie loves her new teacher so much.