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if you ever fall, i’d lift you up if you lose your way, i’ll pick you up and i’m in it with you and i’m in it with you

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festival!shawn because he is truly precious

(rights of footage & audio to the owners pls don’t delete me)

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“I LOVE YOU”

Shawn via Instagram

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“coOol that was awesome, thank yoU ghYs”

his giggle omg

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Stop being so precious ok

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Would you please have mercy on me

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Shawn via JosiahVanDien’s instagram story 10/6/18

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Out of mind

I feel away from you lately

I don't know exactly why

Maybe it's because of the last thing you said

Maybe it's because of the last thing I felt

You seem to have left my body

My heart is lonely

I can't stop thinking

I fall asleep without you

You are missing

In every piece of me

Where are you ? I can't find you.

It was out of mind

Can we go back to the start ?

I wish I haven't wished

It was too beautiful to be true

I was out of mind

Can you come back ?

I have things to say

Things I regret

I need you to come back

To tell the things I haven't told

Unspoken words made of gold

Can we go back to where it was ?

Why did I do this ?

Why did I chose this ?

Too many question unanswered

My brain is going wild

I need to calm down

I'm searching for you

In every crowded room

As if you were about to appear

But I know way too good the end of the story

It's always the same

I regret and you're away

It was out of mind

Can we go back to the start ?

I wish I haven't wished

It was too beautiful to be true

I was out of mind

Can you come back ?

I have things to say

Things I regret

I need you to come back

To tell the things I haven't told

Unspoken words made of gold

Can we go back to where it was ?

Things are going crazy over there

It's like the world stoped rolling

I need you here, back there

I'll do differently if you give me chance

I thought this time would be okay

Little did I know

I'd come back home alone

It was out of mind

Can we go back to the start ?

I wish I haven't wished

It was too beautiful to be true

I was out of mind

Can you come back ?

I have things to say

Things I regret

I need you to come back

To tell the things I haven't told

Unspoken words made of gold

It was out of mind

I lost myself in the crowd

I shut myself and I drown

Can you come back ?

I have things to say

Things I regret

I need you to come back

To tell the things I haven't told

Unspoken words made of gold

I'll search for you 'til the end of time

Can we go back to where it was ?

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♡Wonderland♡

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smiley boy💙

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The Girl who reaches the sun - Part 1

The view paralyzed me.

I don’t know how long I was there, standing in the middle of the others, the red cup on my hand. I don’t even know how I didn’t let go of the drink. It seems like every muscles on my body have stopped to function at the moment my eyes fell on her. Specially a muscle called Heart.

Her, sitting on his lap. Her hands was moving fast, just like every time that she gets too much involved in what she’s saying. And he seemed to not care at all, drinking in his cup, his hand on her thigh.

« I think I gonna throw up » I whispered to myself before to turn around and walk through the dancing bodies.

The music was loud, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves while I just wanted to run away from this party. I ended up at the bar, sitting there, more alone than ever. And just few days ago I performed for 40 000 people, how ironic is that. Head down, I noticed a little movement on my left before her voice screams in my ear.

« MENDES ! » I looked at her and even though I was mad at her, I couldn’t help myself but grin at the view of her smile, her shinny eyes and her high red cheeks due to the alcohol.

«  What is wrong with you ? Are you entering in your depressed phase after your tour ? » « No it’s not that » I spoke too low for her to hear it but she looked at my moving lips and didn’t stop smiling. «  You don’t want to tell ? Okay. Cool. Can I tell you something ? » I raised my eyebrows, intrigued, waiting for her to continue.

«  Shawn Peter Raul Mendes…your girl gonna fuck tonight ! »

Let me tell you that my smile faded away pretty fast.

« Oh really ? » « YES! » she screamed, too happy, as always. I swear this girl never stops smiling, never stops talking and never stops shining. I couldn’t believe that I had a chance to live in a little place of her heart. But in the best friend box. Not really the place I want to belong, but if it allows me to, sometimes, be the reason of this smile, I will keep it.

«  I mean... I’m not sure actually » she started laughing and I had to blink twice to not pass out «  I’ve been pretty direct with my intentions you know and I feel like he’s interested but we kissed and nothing happened then. »

One. Two. Breathe Shawn, it was just a kiss.

« What do you think Mendes ? Help me with your boys hormones ‘cause I’m a bit lost » Her green eyes catched mine and we stared for a second before she looked away and showed me a direction with her chin. I signed and slowly turned my head to see the guy from earlier, still sitting on the couch, talking to people around.

« This one ? With the blue snapback ? » I asked her, having a stupid hope that she laughs at me and says she’s kidding. «  Yes, is he not cute ? » « Well, ‘cute’ is not really an adjective I’ll use to describe him » «  Are you kidding me ? He is ! ..and I’m pretty sure he has a big one. » «  Oh god Lena » « What ? Don’t tell me you chose the girls you sleep with for their brain ? I know you love some good ass » She winked at me and gave me a little slap on the butt, but it was more on my low back as I was sitting on the stool. «  Right, but at least I chose girls with a little bit interest in me » «  What do you mean ? » «  Well…I’m not sure he listened to anything you said you know… probably too busy to look at girls who show 94% of their body » «  You asshole ! He listened what I said ! and I have a good body right ? »

Lena was small and not the thighest girl you could ever find but she had everything at the right places : really really beautiful boobs, a nice butt, some good thighs that I could kiss for hours. And her hands. So pretty hands that you want them to touch you forever. She spends so much time caring about her hands, I can’t even count how many hours she spended on my bed doing her nails or putting 3kg of cream on the winter to have the softest hands possible. A good body ? Hell damn Len, you have the most wonderful body I’ve ever seen !

«  Yes you do, don’t worry about that. But I still think that he didn’t have interest in what you say » «  That is bullshit. Everything I say is interesting. »

We looked at each other before we both exploded of laugh.

« Sure babe. You talking about how you discovered your bed sheets were actually made in Great Britain, is the kind of content that I qualify as interesting. » I smiled at her ironically while she was doing her (I quote) « bitchy glance ».

«  Shut up Mendes. Of course I don’t talk about my bed sheets to everyone. You have a privilege here. » «  Oh wow, what a privilege to know about your bed sheets rather than to whatever you were saying to him, sitting on his lap »

I thought she’ll notice the little sign about my feelings but she mostly noticed the « him » obviously as she was staring at him again.

«  hum…Hello ? The earth is calling Lena ? » « Do you really think he did not listen to anything ? » « Well I don’t know, I was not there, I can’t really tell. » She frowned a bit, thinking. «  Go ask him. » « What ? » « If you wanna know if he listened to you, go ask him about something you said to him to see if he remembered. You’ll know if he cares about you, a little at least »

Why was I trying to help her to go in his arms ? What was wrong with me ?

« Are you daring me to ask him ? To see if I can have sex with him ? » «  I don’t dare you. I just say it can be a good solution to your problem. » She looked at me more confused than ever. «  Can you speak like a kid of 19 years old please because my drunk brain can’t follow you anymore. » I chuckled a little. Lena was the type of girl who go back to her 7 years old when she is drunk and she couldn’t understand a thing the others were saying. So I decided to talk to her like a kid.

«  Alright. We gonna play a little game Len, you’re in ? » « YAS ! » « You see the boy over there, go ask him a thing about your conversation from earlier. If he get it wrong, you give up on him. If he get it right,… » I couldn’t finish the sentence. All I wanted to say was ‘you give up on him’. « I FUCK HIM ! » and she left me there, almost running to the boy.

I looked at the scene from my sit, I couldn’t hear a thing but at least I could see what was happening between them. They just seemed to talk when she finally turned her back to him and walked in my direction with a little smile she was trying to hide.

« So what happened ? » I asked, quite impatient. She sat next to me and signed. «  I walked to him. And put my hand on his arm, for him to look at me you know. He looked at me from head to toe. He smiled. So I was like ‘’hey. I’m just wondering if I could ask you a question because I’m a bit drunk so I forgot a thing I had to remember and I think I've talked to you about it so..?’’.  And he looked at me and asked me…’’sorry what’s your name again Hun?’’ »

I looked at her, trying to contain my laugh but her little pout made me explode. She put her head in her hands and started laughing with me. I always love these moments when we are both laughing without the others to understand what is happening between us. Being the one she laughs with makes my heart beats abnormally fast. When she laughs, she has two dimples, almost invisible, but so precious to me, and her eyes shine more than usual than the stars will be jealous of her green lights. Even before I realized I had feelings for her, I always thought Lena was the kind of girl that you can easily mistaken with a sunshine. Whenever she walks in a room, she seems to bring light in it, it’s like she had a halo around her and she lights up everyone around her. A little angel who put smile and happiness in others life just by breathing.`

« Daaaamn… and I thought he was interested in me » she said in a breath, trying to calm her laugh. «  I’m sorry. He is numb anyway. » « Maybe. But he was hot. » «  You can find another one. There is probably a boy, good enough for you there right ? »

I hardly believed what I just said. A boy good enough for her ? I’m not sure he actually exists. Even me, I’m not good enough. How can someone can be enough for a girl who reaches the sun ?

« Shawn Peter Raul Mendes…» I chuckled «...your girl not gonna fuck tonight. »

« Do you want to get out of it ? » « Oh my god yes ! »

I didn’t even had time to stand up that she griped my arm, too big for her small hands and pushed me through the dancing bodies around us. We took our coat and jacket and get out in the cold midnight of Toronto.

« Where’s your car ? » I indicated the direction with my finger and started to walk in the empty streets. She came closer to me, both of her arms holding her coat really close to her to keep herself warm. I raised my left arm, opening it for her and she snuggled up against me. We walked in silence until the corner of the street where the Jeep was parked and we  entered in it. While I was putting heating, my eyes glanced at her. She was looking through the window, lost in her thoughts. The lights from the street was illuminating her face and reflecting in the diamonds at her ears. Her halo was irradiating. And she was breathtaking.

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Shawn Mendes photographed by Paul Scala for Wonderland magazine. Shawn wears t-shirt by Tommy Hilfiger