broadband2000-blog

[broadband2000-blog]

If you see this guy on the street, let me know. He owes me $5.56.

[broadband2000-blog]

Ass Hairs

Ass Hairs are the most annoying thing on planet earth. Don't shave them? Congrats, your asscrack itches and you look like Sasquatch. Shave them? Say goodbye to the crack of your ass, because it's about to be completely submerged in a sea of anal sweat. Pisses me off.

[broadband2000-blog]

Pizza

For generations, mankind has asked a question: Which chain pizza brand is the best? Pizza Hut, Domino's, Little Caesar's or Papa John's? Well, I have the answer. First off, fuck Papa John and his stupid fucking better ingredient having ass. It's a shame he couldn't sell his third yacht to give his workers healthcare. Papa John's is shit and if you eat there, you are a lackey of the bourgeoisie and should most likely end your life ASAP. Pizza Hut is too damn greasy. You'd think they dumped an entire fry vat onto their pizzas with how they taste. They're also pricy as shit when you're trying to get a pizza delivered, and I'm pretty sure they're keeping my friend Amir locked in the basement of their HQ. That leaves us with Domino's or Little Caesar's. Domino's tastes better, but Little Caesar's holds together better. Domino's does delivery, but Little Caesar's is hot and ready. So, who wins? Everybody loses, fuck chain pizza. Go to a local pizzeria instead, cunt.

[broadband2000-blog]

Ass > Titties

If you think tits are superior to the ass, you are literally subhuman. A nice rack is a good bonus, but a nigg need that certified juicy booty lest he go to put it in and end up with a broken hip bone. Fight me.

[broadband2000-blog]

Bitchass Vending Machines

You know what really grinds my ballsack? When vending machines don't fucking work. How the hell does someone manage to mangle the dollar slot on the vending machine? Its a simple fucking concept. Put bill in, get snack out. I should not be confusing the dollar slot with my ex-wife's pussy when I look inside of it to see why it's not taking my fucking money. Vending machines are a ripoff anyways. They charge you exorbitant fees for a small ass drink or a bag of chips that would serve you better if you were trapped at the bottom of the fucking ocean with no air rather than if you had the munches. Half the time, the machine doesn't even give you what you want. There's only one drink at the vending machine that I usually shop at that tastes good (diet soda generally taste like AIDS and still kills you slowly, lose-lose), and that's diet Mellow Yellow. There's literally a row of the magical elixir in the vending machine, but beware. If the vending machine doesn't like which number you paired up with your C, it might just dump you with a hot as shit, literal stomach churning bottle of Diet Not-Mellow-Yellow Don't even get me started about when the vending machine fails to deposit your desired snack. I'll smack a fucking vending machine harder than my neighbor smacks his wife when she doesn't bring him his fucking RC Cola if it doesn't drop my Doritos.