broadrae

[broadrae]

pretending it’s a chore to ship us off to war

in this dive, we rediscover sensation

[broadrae]

lucian-bancroft replied to your post:how do you feel about the fact that two of your kids are making out with each other?

is it Felix and Derek? That’d be kind of hot.

Again -- really not in the mood.

[broadrae]

Your family is crazy.

...No family is perfect. And it would seem improbable that a family joined in union by Berry and St. James would be anything but insanity. 

[broadrae]

how do you feel about the fact that two of your kids are making out with each other?

I don't know why you think that's a good joke? -- but I really do not have the patience for this right now. 

[broadrae]

the rest is silence

[broadrae]

Kids, I appreciate you "sticking up for me" -- but I'm a grown woman. I don't really care what a bunch of teenagers have to say about me. I've dealt with the likes of Cassandra July...this is something that just has to be ignored, alright? 

[broadrae]

...I highly doubt that. I don't know if you're aware, but I was in school with both of your fathers -- and both of them can carry a sweet tune. 

I don’t know if it’ll help, but I could try out if you want. Although I can’t really sing.

[broadrae]

You're just as difficult as you mother, huh? I chose HAIR because it's a timepiece. I chose HAIR because unlike Grease and By Bye Birdie, it takes a large group and believable talent to pull off properly. Grease and Bye Bye Birdie are shows primarily done in middle school. There's no complexity. HAIR, however, is a show that represents so much more than the surface. It's something that so many people - young, and old can connect to. The music is exciting, uplifting, tragic, and so much more intriguing than almost any other show. It's not something I picked for the faint of heart. 

I don’t know why you are bothering either because why the hell did you choose Hair? Grease would have been so much better because I would make an amazing Rizzo. I would have even settled for Bye Bye Birdie! 

[broadrae]

It's not that simple. I can't just...barge back into the city and say: "hey, it's me". When you leave the NYC, no one thinks that you'll come back. And no one is really there holding open a door for you in welcome. I already had my run -- and it was great. It was amazing...but I don't think that's what I'm supposed to be doing at this stage in my life. You're going off to college soon...and I just want to spend as much time with you all as I can. I mean, I don't you guys don't need me, but...I need you. 

Because you feel strongly about musical theater and it’s importance. It’s who you are mom. You are amazing that way. I support you 100% mom. We all will. I’ll back you up no matter what. Maybe you could look at getting back up on stage. Now that we are all older, it might be good for you! 

[broadrae]

...I can't just leave, Jesse.

Rach, we don't live that far away from the city. And you know there are Tony Award winning actresses much older than you. Is Rachel Berry really questioning herself? Hm?

[broadrae]

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, to be completely honest. Though, by the sound it seems that no one would really object if I did.

Does this mean you’re giving up on the musical then?

[broadrae]

...For the most part, yes.

Like you?

[broadrae]

--It's not as if they're looking for forty-something year olds to stand center stage. Maybe if I had gone back a couple years earlier I would have been able to pull it off...but not now. And, I mean...the girls are heading off to college soon and I have to be there, you know? I can't just take off. It's not the simple. 

Baby…of course this musical matters. But I don’t know how you do it. Why don’t you just go back to Broadway? There’s no reason not to, with the kids grown now and me working from home.

[broadrae]

...Well, I appreciate your efforts. However, it should be noted that I would never go as far as saying musicals are "pointless mindfuckery". It's an at form...that's clearly not for everyone, but, you know. Some people dedicate their whole lives to the stage. 

I’m just trying to go along with you.

[broadrae]

Yeah, well...apparently not at this school. You'd think after spending nearly a decade on Broadway there'd be a little more respect. As if the arts program at the school would reflect those who taught there -- or at very least the students. I think I need to drown my failure in gelato. 

It does matter, mom. A lot of people like musicals and stuff. 

[broadrae]

...I'm not even going to bother commenting on that.

Musicals are stupid anyway, it’s just pointless mindfuckery.

[broadrae]

...Sometimes I really miss the stage. Even with all the repetition, I always felt like I was doing something important. I always feel like I was doing a good job, and that...I don't know. It's like it doesn't even matter anymore. I don't know why I'm even bothering with this stupid musical.