btsdadd-blog

[btsdadd-blog]

i have a bucket of charcoal burning in my garage and a bottle of klonopin in my stomach. i am going to die. thank you all for being part of my life.

if, by some miracle i do live through this, i probably will not come back here.

love, ace

4/9/18

[btsdadd-blog]

hoseok, introducing taehyung to the boys predebut: that one over there is namjoon he has a uh...

hoseok, conspiratorially: ~shallow anus~

namjoon, putting down his ramen: why do you- why do you have to tell everybody-

[btsdadd-blog]

yoongi: what the fuck, people actually tell their crushes they like them?

jimin: what do you do then?

yoongi: i die? what sort of question-

[btsdadd-blog]

[after that one english interview]

namjoon: so how’d you convince the whole group to betray me? what’d you offer them?

jungkook: i asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

[btsdadd-blog]

taehyung: you remember the plan if i ever get shot, right?

hoseok: of course.

taehyung: tell me so i know you know.

hoseok: in case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, i am to sing "MMMMM WHATCHA SAY" no matter the circumstances.

taehyung, nodding: good.

[btsdadd-blog]

yoongi: anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid

jungkook: yoongi.

[btsdadd-blog]

(sees a spider)

seokjin: [screams]

hoseok: [screams]

yoongi: [screams even louder not necessarily because he's afraid but really to establish that he's better than them]

[btsdadd-blog]

namjoon: hey, you're hot

seokjin, offended: um excuse me

namjoon: uh like uh.. boiling water,,, cause you make my noodle soft... uh bye

[btsdadd-blog]

bighit's tutor: okay boys let's talk about the big bang theory-

hoseok: i hate that show!

namjoon: idiot! he's not talking about the show he's talking about the porno-

[btsdadd-blog]

jimin: hey you know what time it is?

namjoon, contemplatively: you ever really think dude, about paper towels

jimin: no

jimin: what time is it

namjoon, shaking his head and walking away: i don't believe in time dude

[btsdadd-blog]

yoongi: i've got a five year plan for world domination.

namjoon: five years? cool. i've got the next about two hours planned, and then there's just darkness and possibly some dragons.

[btsdadd-blog]

mcdonald's cashier: what can i get you?

jimin: one vodka please.

mcdonald's cashier: um, sorry, this is mcdonald’s.

seokjin, to jimin: amateur

seokjin: me means one McVodka please

[btsdadd-blog]

yoongi, to an anti: oh, you wanna talk to my boss?

yoongi, into the mic: bang pd, some little bitch wants to talk to you

[btsdadd-blog]

taehyung: Z is just a sideways N.

jimin: it’s 2am, please stop.

taehyung: Zo.

[btsdadd-blog]

seokjin, on the phone with namjoon: keep an eye out for taehyung. he tends to wander off

namjoon: seokjin what

namjoon, seeing that taehyung is missing: i am totally capable of that.

seokjin:: you lost him didn't you

namjoon, running through the grocery store: no no no. he's right next to me.

seokjin: i can hear it in your voice... look in the dairy case.

namjoon: do you honestly think that he'd fit in-

taehyung, inside the dairy case:

namjoon, yanking on the doors: yep he's right here right with me not in the dairy case

seokjin: the doors don't pull. they slide.

namjoon, slowly sliding the door open:

[btsdadd-blog]

yoongi: i don't let my sexuality define me.

also yoongi: move, i'm gay.

[btsdadd-blog]

yoongi: but who can i trust?

namjoon: yourself!

yoongi: haha, no