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Getting a new porn bot everyday like it’s an advent calendar

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this is so dope

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well i'm haunted by WOMAN-made horrors beyond my comprehension. #feminism

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hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)

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Weirdly specific clock - Cumbria, England

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Our favorite photo from when I was trying to get a Christmas-card worthy photo.

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movie theatres are like if platos cave slayed

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it’s always “immortality is a fate worse than death, an eternal misery” “to live forever is to not live at all, all meaning stripped from existence” and never how’s your eternal life your eternal life looks fun is it fun

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I had a very interesting discussion about theater and film the other day. My parents and I were talking about Little Shop of Horrors and, specifically, about the ending of the musical versus the ending of the (1986) movie. In the musical, the story ends with the main characters getting eaten by the plant and everybody dying. The movie was originally going to end the same way, but audience reactions were so negative that they were forced to shoot a happy ending where the plant is destroyed and the main characters survive. Frank Oz, who directed the movie, later said something I think is very interesting:

I learned a lesson: in a stage play, you kill the leads and they come out for a bow — in a movie, they don’t come out for a bow, they’re dead. They’re gone and so the audience lost the people they loved, as opposed to the theater audience where they knew the two people who played Audrey and Seymour were still alive. They loved those people, and they hated us for it.

That’s a real gem of a thought in and of itself, a really interesting consequence of the fact that theater is alive in a way that film isn’t. A stage play always ends with a tangible reminder that it’s all just fiction, just a performance, and this serves to gently return the audience to the real world. Movies don’t have that, which really changes the way you’re affected by the story’s conclusion. Neat!

But here’s what’s really cool: I asked my dad (who is a dramaturge) what he had to say about it, and he pointed out that there is actually an equivalent technique in film: the blooper reel. When a movie plays bloopers while the credits are rolling, it’s accomplishing the exact same thing: it reminds you that the characters are actually just played by actors, who are alive and well and probably having a lot of fun, even if the fictional characters suffered. How cool is that!?

Now I’m really fascinated by the possibility of using bloopers to lessen the impact of a tragic ending in a tragicomedy…

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calculator wrapped

you put simple maths problems you should know the answer to into the calculator a total of 5430 times!

of those, your favourite was: 7*6! (the answer is 42)

you giggled at funny numbers being on the calculator a total of 420 times! 

421 times now!

your favourite number on the calculator overall was: 8008135! 

you still have no idea what over half of the buttons do!

your most calculated genre this year was: division!

we look forward to a great 2023! please learn your times tables.

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i love when the gender options are "male" "female" and "prefer not to answer"

like it just reads as "boy" "girl" and "what are you, a cop? i don't owe you anything"

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military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps

enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it

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this reductress article means everything to me

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Childhood made everything feel like it lingered. The time it took for hot chocolate to cool down was eternal. Christmas day took weeks. The two-hour drive to my grandparents' house took us to a new world. It's all too fast now.

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you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this