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TEXT // #TEAMNO

Ben: No...

Ben: Okay, fine. It is. Don't say I told you so, I won't save you a seat during breakfast if you do.

Ben: It's Cross-Species Transfiguration.

Ben: I could ask someone else if you're not up to it. I'm sure plenty of girls would be willing ;)

Aubrey: Knew it.

Aubrey: My favourite. And why would I do that, and let one of those /plenty/ of girls get all my credit?

Aubrey: As if. Common room after dinner, and make sure you bring me a treacle tart as a thank you :)

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[text]: I have an essay due tomorrow, pls help.

[text]: If this is the Transfiguration essay that I TOLD YOU to do like two weeks ago, I will not help, I will just laugh.

[text]: But I also might help, because I’m nice like that. What’s the subject?

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The worst thing is that                                       they aren’t even nightmares                                                                                           they’re memories.

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I’m pro at imperfections, and I’m best friends with my doubt.

Twenty One Pilots, “The Judge”, Album: Blurryface (via wnq-music)

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PM || Aubecca

Becca: Who says you can't have multiple costumes? I've got 3 - one for the ball, one for Halloween day, and one with Olly that I have no idea when we'll wear.

Becca: Yay friendship leveling up! I didn't used to be this paranoid. But after my parents got divorced, my siblings and I - um, we kind of chose sides? I chose my dad. Jason chose my mum. And my sister... my sister chose Jason. And I just never want to be left behind again.

Becca: I'm having a hard time believing you today, but hopefully tomorrow I'll be better :(

Aubrey: Good point.

[Delay]

Aubrey: I get scared when I make friends with people. Which explains why I was so distant until this year, really. I thought I was making progress with Ryder, and then all that went to hell, and everything still kind of stings a bit.

Aubrey: I have Ben. Which is why I got so angry at you when you wouldn't give him a chance. And I have Jake, but sometimes I get terrified that he'll realise I'm just some stupid fifth year that's not worth his time. And I have Cass, and she's wonderful, but she has a world of friends who do more good for her than I would.

Aubrey: I don't understand what it's like to lose family. I got lucky on that front. But I know what it's like to lose friends, and to be terrified of losing people you become close to. That's kind of similar, right?

Aubrey: Kelsey and Amelia are terrified that you hate them. They're terrified that you want nothing to do with them, and they're terrified that they've messed up beyond repair. And I haven't even talked to Hoppy yet, so Merlin knows /what/ he's thinking. The fact that you're upset about this has changed /everything/, and if that doesn't speak volumes about how much you mean to them, then I have a horrible understanding of what a family really is.

Aubrey: If you don't believe anything else I say today, /please/ believe /that/.

Aubrey: Level-up.

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At this rate, taking advice from a seventh year isn’t the worst thing I could do. Guess I’m just not a fan of feeling sick. Here’s hoping your wise words of wisdom hold true. Any tips on how to avoid it?

After going off-the-grid..

Oh merlin, did you really have such a horrid time? Maybe you’ll change your opinion on things eventually since sometimes it takes a bit of work to get there? That’s really all people are talking about, yeah, but it’s pretty easy to avoid.

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PM || Aubecca

Becca: You would make for a very cute piece of candy. I've got some bows that you could borrow that would help you look like a bon-bon.

Becca: I just thought everyone knew that being abandoned and left behind and unwanted was the one thing that scared me the most... I guess no one cared enough to remember.

Becca: You promise it's bollocks?

Aubrey: I'd make for a very cute anything. But, unfortunately, I already have my costume. Maybe next year?

Aubrey: I didn't know that. Then again, we've never really been close enough for me to know that. Look at us; we've levelled up our friendship. I'm willing to bet all my chocolate frog cards that they /do/ care. They just didn't realise it would affect you as much as it did.

Aubrey: I promise it's bollocks.

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You’re incredible. Really. I’m just in awe right now.

Lets also put that I only said those things after you provoked me with your unnecessary attitude in a post that didn’t even concern you in any way since you don’t even like Gobstones. And people say things when they’re angry, Aubrey, And who made me angry? You did. Don’t tell me that you didn’t expect me to retaliate after you purposely start shit with me? Like please. Pathetic is just as bad as worthless? Oh God… are you pulling that one out of your ass, huh? Because pathetic is not as bad as worthless. Not in any way.. at all? It’s like you’re saying that just to build up an argument against but then you just failed. 

You haven’t even started explaining your side. All you’ve been going on about is how my side is invalid. Like I don’t deserve to be angry. Because you know what? I do deserve to be angry because all you have been blowing everything I say out of proportion because of what? You hate my guts? You hate everything about me? You hate me because I seem to be the only one in our year with an actual functional family and confidence? Is that it? Because I have never done anything to you or your friends until all of you started insulting me and the things I love. Like God forbid I actually like something. God forbid that I’m honest with my feelings and I don’t take any shit from anyone. God forbid that I actually want Gobstones Club to keep going but noooooo, you all just have to be shits about it and when I retaliate, I’m the bad person. I fucking understand now. 

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Group Text → Team Takedown

Kelsey: Aubrey! And I didn't include Becca because she'd be upset /if/ she knew what we were doing. I don't feel guilty for messing with Clara, not after what she said to you, to Jake, to Amelia, not at all - but I would feel guilty for disappointing Becks. It's not like I was planning to seriously hurt her, just pull a prank. I've pranked Oliver a million times - which he'll verify and I like him just fine. And you were totally ready to jump into this before she started in, so don't go acting like I'm alone in this. We all hate her. And it's not like she hasn't given us all reason to.

Aubrey: I wanted a /movie night/. I wasn't ready to jump into /anything/! I was having my own argument with her, and then I disappeared because I was sick! I didn't think I'd come back to all /this/!

Aubrey: I get where you're coming from. Trust me, I do. No one wants to murder McLaggen more than I do. But planning on pranking her wasn't exactly the right answer, and making a group about it wasn't the best idea, either.

Aubrey: Still. If that's what you want to do, then I won't try to stop you. But, word of advice; let Becca breathe for a while. Okay?

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You want to get into specifics and make excuses? Fine. Let’s make a list of everything you said to me, shall we?

“I doubt you’d understand though. Nothing really lasts for you.”

“I’m a fucking nice person. I doubt you understand that either.”

“You think you actually matter to those clubs?”

“And you, my only impression of you is that you’re a dried up leaf floating in the wind.”

“There are so many people better than you in art –”

“And come on now, I doubt you can actually compete against people like Ryder, Amelia, and Bitchy Wilde.”

“You might as well not exist in those clubs… or in this school.”

Hey, about that last one; if you wanted to make it clear that you were talking about you, then next time, include a ‘to me’. It’ll make your point much clearer. Pathetic is just as bad as worthless, and the fact that you can’t even see that is problematic in itself. I never said you were a bad person. But the things you say are offensive, and mean, and not really what you’d expect from a fucking nice person. 

Evidently, you’re only willing to hear your side, too. Congratulations. You’re human. You exist. Now grow up.

Did I tell you that you shouldn’t exist? I told “You might not as well exist in this castle” which is again my way of telling you’ve always been invisible in my eyes. If I told you that you might not as well exist in this world then that’s something you should be really worked up about. But I didn’t. Did I tell people their lives are worthless? No. Pathetic is not synonymous to worthless. Fine, just twist my words to benefit your cause of constantly making me look like a bad person.  

Since when did you become everyone, Aubrey? Are you God? I did just apologized, didn’t I? Or did you already forgot about that too? I was just explaining how it was for me, am I not allowed to explain my side? Oh right, you’re only willing to hear yours.

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Group Text → Team Takedown

Kelsey: Well, I guess there could be another group. No-one really likes Clara, and she was trying to go against Kitty Wilde the other day - get people to quit newspaper for Gobstones. And it's not like we're sitting around talking about how much we hate her, just watching movies and planning pranks.

Aubrey: Bloody hell.

Aubrey: So, let me get this straight. McLaggen makes that post, causes uproar because she's being bitchy. Says I shouldn't exist, Amelia has an argument with her. Some other bollocks happens, - she's said something about Wilde and the paper and all that, I get that, - so you start a group chat hating on her and planning hang-outs. You don't invite Becca, which is why /she's/ understandably bitchy, and now McLaggen's trying to make us all feel bad.

Aubrey: Right. Okay. I'm going back into the hospital wing, text me when this is all over.

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You don’t have the best way of saying things, because the majority of things you say are alarmingly offensive. I know I was asking for it. I’ll own up to that. Apparently, it’s what I do. But I don’t go around telling people they shouldn’t exist, regardless of context, and I don’t go around telling people their lives are worthless and only worth salvaging if they join a club. Are you telling me you genuinely saw no problem with saying that? Because I refuse to believe that.

It was bitchy. Everyone saw it that way, and you’re the only one who didn’t. You’d get more respect if you owned up to it, as opposed to playing the pity card. Tried that, too. Definitely doesn’t work.

To be clear, my invitation for people to join my club was nothing but an invitation and you replied to spite me. It wasn’t even offensive but all of you seem to take offense with everything I say, it’s been almost five years and none of you seem to learn that I don’t have the best way of saying things. You started using Gobstones Club’s current standing against me so don’t turn things against me when you started the whole thing. I do apologize for saying that you might not as well exist in this castle. I don’t mean it like you should just off yourself but it was my way of saying you’ve always been invisible to me which was blown out of proportion by Amelia. And of course there are faults to what I’ve said but it’s undeniable that you were partially asking for mean things to be said to you.  

Actually, I wasn’t even trying to be bitchy when I posted that whole invitation. I thought I was trying to be helpful, give a place for people to enjoy a game. Because when your life sucks, you should be aware of it and try to make things better. I was gunning for those people. I guess it’s better when I don’t speak at all and I know you’d agree.