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"Did you know people are masturbating to your smut fics-- 🤢" I hope they get twice as wet as I did writing it, mind your fucking business.

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@afleetingmuse

bulba fantasy

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Ada: Eva was practically fearless. You know she was the first of our family to tame a horse? I was scared shitless — I’ll admit it — but Eva just…had a way with wild and unbridled creatures that could fucking kill you if you looked the wrong way at them. I remember when she first brought that smilodon to the homestead…heart was in my throat, I tell you.

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Ada: My little coney.

Eve: My sweet sugarcane.

Lilith: …Cainster?

Cain: That last one was the least embarrassing of the three.

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Some father-daughter time.

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Johnny: We should go pirating! Just like we did in the old days.

Ada: Goony was a pirate?

Johnny: Well, sort of. I think he cared more about the frippery.

Ada: A regular Captain Stede Bonnet?

Johnny: Well, he and Stede DID get along pretty well before Stede got exorcised.

Ada: Right.

Lucifer: Bonnet and I did NOT get along, Johnny.

Johnny: You would have had to in order to be fuck-buddies like you did.

Ada: Oh?

Lucifer: Stop sharing my sordid past with my mistress, Johnny.

Ada: What ISN’T sordid, goony?

Johnny: Actually, he and Stede were pretty tame compared to what Stede got up to with his boyfriend. But I guess you only save the real kinky shit for The One You Truly Love, right?

Ada: Absolutely-fucking-lutely.

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1k words with inspiration: literally 10 minutes or less of writing. a breeze

1k words without inspiration: i will do it. i will take the ring to mordor

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... I have tarried too long this night and I suffer the burden of knowledge for it. Back to the dragon porn.

"Let me get this shit straight. You take a stupid jar...you put inside...something...then you just...jizz in it?"

"Yep!"

"...that is a waste of perfectly good jizz."

"It's a sex thing, old man. Also kinda used for a bondin' type of thing."

"You're bonding over jizzing in a jar?"

"...well, when you say it like THAT...I feel kinda kink-shamed."

"I'm not against kink-shaming you about this."

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listening on repeat to gacha games lore important videos not because i care about the game but because the music slaps

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I've talked about this au on twt so it's time to do it here as well!

It's a post canon idea where Adam doesn't die but instead gets his memories locked out by Lucifer.

Adam is fascinated by supernatural to the point he visits the haunted places. He has a small yt acc where he publishes what he thinks is compelling. One time he visits a demon possessed house and, upon being scared out of consciousness, sets the demon free.

The demon, Steeve, becomes curious of Adam and a peculiar energy following him so he sticks to the human. At first wanting to play with him but growing fond and protective over the idiot.

After a while Steeve starts finding more hints as to why Adam seems peculiar to him. Wonky stories from his childhood, sensitivity to supernatural etc. He finds out Adam’s connection to Lucifer.

After the s1 finale Adam doesn't die, either falls or becomes a sinner. He ends up in a situationship with Lucifer. It's toxic and puts them both deeper in depression until Lucifer decides to "give Adam a second chance", seeing as he's wasting away. Using his powers Lucifer locks Adam's memories and gives him human ones. Then puts him on earth. Trying to play a tormented character in the story who's trying to be good, but still unable to let Adam go. Despite knowing how their relationship and past fucked Adam up.

I am a filthy oc x canon shipper so this is that, as well as one of many aus I made with @casuallycreamatedcunt . Adam and Lucifer relationship is in the past that Lucifer can't let go, as anything in his life. Unable to stand the bond forming between Adam and another person the conflict rises but I don't have that idea cleared out yet.

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A story about a multiple birth where one baby is good, the other evil, and their eternal struggle with themes about the nature of man!

And their triplet, Frank, who in their middle sibling and is just there. He's an accountant and plays dodgeball on the weekends. He doesn't know what the fuck his two siblings are doing but it's making mom cry after family dinner.

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He means a little squeeze bottle with brine shrimp inside but… bottle feeding the loblings…

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Let's Navigate the Pond with Mama