calchalator

[calchalator]

the tears that fell from the ghost hounds eyes

Pairing: Calcharo x Reader

“I thought I was protecting them.”

“From me?”

Warning: rating 18+ for accidental pregnancy, references of s*x, maybe ooc?

-It had been very sudden, something neither of you were expecting.

-You were terrified to tell him, as most people were even to scared to approach him in general.

-Except for you, when three drinks too many you ended up tangled between his arms in his bed.

-Thus you ultimately decide that you’re actually a chicken and opt out of saying anything until it started to become more and more obvious you had been hiding something big.

-He could sense the change in the tides rather swiftly, picking up on all your habits, the standoffishness you had been exhibiting, the way you had become secretive, how he could sense something was different. You looked different, and though it had been months since he last touched you, he could feel a difference.

-He couldn’t figure what he had done to make you change so much in such a short amount of time, he partially wondered if you had another lover, if you were getting attention elsewhere. That could be the change, someone who is fulfilling your needs better then he ever could.

-You however, were panicking with each incoming day as your bump grew larger and larger, your hips widening, your breasts also larger and far more tender. Your body was constantly changing, and with that came the worst case of morning sickness Baizhi had seen in a long time. She tried her best to give you some natural remedies that wouldn’t hurt you or the baby in your womb but to no avail nothing helped except to hideaway and sleep off the nausea off.

-Calcharo was beginning to worry, something the man hadn’t thought he was capable of in so long, the coldness that enshrouded him, he never thought someone as warm as you would find a way to melt through.

“This is the third com they’ve sent within the last few months that they are still away on an expedition. I think they might have defected sir,” One of his men say to him. He says nothing in return, his eyes cold and calculating. He wonders about the timing, wonders if you had enough of one night with him. Fine. Let it be that way.

-About 20 weeks go by, your bump is out and you’ve been in hiding for far to long. Guilt consumed you, knowing that your child deserved a father, but the question was simple, would he be a good one? He was cold, men and women of all kinds feared him, his enemies loathed him, a target on his head at all times. What kind of life would that be for your child?

-And you would protect your unborn child, in whatever way was necessary.

-And then he finds you, in passing, at the market. In fact, he sees you before you see him, and he struck in awe, your belly swollen, hands cradling the bump hidden beneath the fabric of your dress.

-This is what you had been hiding? You were with child? Was it his? Was it someone else’s? How far along were you? Why did you hide it? Why did you hide? His thoughts races a million miles an hour, his body paralyzed in place as he watches you converse with the townspeople. An old granny, putting her hand on your stomach, a smile emitting from your lips.

-However all he can think about is how he had been shut out, how he had been given no choice, how he didn’t know, how much he had missed. It hurt him to admit but he was mad, and not because you had done any of these things, but because he already knew why without having to ask.

-His position, his work, his source of income. The dangers he brought just by existing in the same space as you, he knew why.

-But he is a stubborn man, and views his responsibility of raising his unborn child as a higher priority then the Ghost Hounds. So his feet begin to travel in wide strides, strait towards you, pushing through the crowd of people in the heart of Jinzhou.

“Y/N.” His voice is quiet but startles you in whipping around, arms flying to your bump. To hide it maybe? Your not sure, it feels like the right thing to do. His presence is overwhelming, his scent familiar, but when you look into his eyes to see nothing but pure hurt you’ve understood you’ve made the wrong choice in not telling him. Your eyes well with tears faster then you can comprehend, your emotions on heightened hormonal train wreck.

The granny stands quietly behind you, a pillar in your current pregnancy when you had come back into Jinzhou for check ups with Baizhi. She had offered you a bowl of ramen from her shop telling you that it was okay you couldn’t afford it, you had another mouth to feed. Once you had stabilized another job within the city you had been constantly visiting her to pay back your due to her kindness. She knew of the man standing in front of you, you had only spent most of your time talking about him.

“Why don’t we take this inside children, its rather busy in the market today,” Her wizened words pull Calcharo from his stupor, his hand reaching to you to guide you into the grandmothers ramen shop.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounds almost desperate as soon as you’ve walked into the silence of the shop, he doesn’t care, “You just left. You lied.”

“I thought I was protecting them,” Your lips trembled, he had every reason to be mad, even if you didn’t think the leader of the ghost hounds would want anything to do with family or raising one of his own.

“From me?” He whispers.

You stay silent, guilt raising the bile in your throat, your stomach flipping. With shaky hands you feel the walls of your throat closing up, a gagging motion coming from your gut as you turn to beeline for the bathroom. In an instant your on your knees in front of the toilet, holding onto your stomach and the rim of the toilet bowl as this mornings breakfast makes it way out of your body.

-(Baby Calchalator isn’t a fan of cheesy eggs on toast apparently)

-You can’t hear anything, your body is reverent with chills, shaking violently with each outburst.

-You almost don’t recognize his touch because he is so gentle.

-His hands slip around the strands of your fallen hair, pulling it back as his other hand rubs soothing circles along your back. He was on his knees, one on each side of your body, holding you tightly in place.

-Once you’ve finally calmed, his hands reach under each arm to help you to your feet, a task that usually had been taking the wind out of you and a task he did effortlessly.

“I’m sorry I left.” You whisper after a few moments of silence.

His eyes were defeated, head hanging low as his eyes trained on the tips of his shoes, “If you don’t want me to be here I’ll leave, I’ll do whatever you think is best for you and our child.”

-And-oh god-

-He wants it, and your hearts racing because he wants your child, he wants to be there, to raise them on his principles, to take their hand and guide them through life, and he wants to be there doing that with you.

-He’s stern now, feeling fear for the answer to come from your lips. On one hand he knew he would bring danger, in was in his nature and nothing good ever followed once he collected of his debts from his line of work. He knew he was rigid, bound by a staggering fate that he would cycle through each contract till one eventually took his life. Would he leave his child without a father out of fate or because of a decision of the one person who made him change his mind on everything? Because on the other hand, he never knew how quickly he’d embrace the idea of having his own kid. He could already feel the twinge of hope taking root inside of him, hope that you would let him stay, hope that he would get to hold that little baby in his arms, hope that would be his reason to shape into a man his child would be proud to call their father.

You don’t hesitate, “Stay.”

-His eyes snap to your eyes, checking for honesty, he’s in disbelief. Stay? Stay.

“You’ll still have me? Despite everything?” He’s cautious, will they just leave him again? Will they change their mind? His fear is masked with a stoic thin line of his lips pressed together, emotions securely hidden behind his eyes. They tell you nothing, you don’t know what he’s thinking, but you can feel his pain, the hurt, the betrayal.

“You’ve proved me wrong,” You say, looking at him, “I don’t think there is anybody else who deserves this more then you do, and I am so sorry that I almost took that from you.”

-It was the most honest apology he’d ever received, and in no time you were in his arms, in the confines of the bathroom where no one, not even granny, could see the tears that fell from the ghost hounds eyes. His heart had been beating so fast, his hands felt frozen solid and yet he grappled you in, his hands finding solace on the growing bump.

(AN: This was 100% self indulgent. Should I make this a series?)