callchans-blog

[callchans-blog]

chvrlis‌:

     her efforts to avoid him thus far have been SURPRISINGLY successful. taking earlier breakfast and later lunch, avoiding the pool during the warmest hours of the day, circumventing every and all gyms and areas where a ball could be thrown — you name it, charli’s probably done it. but, the universe must sense that she’s getting too CONFIDENT, and ( just as she’s on her way to the beach, tote packed with a towel, beach read and sunscreen ) she spots a familiar head of red hair heading her way. panic overtakes her for an instant, causing her to awkwardly stop in her tracks, feet suddenly glued to the ground. it’s too late for her to turn around and pretend she’s forgotten something in her room, so she stays put with her head down, hoping her sun hat will be enough of a disguise. / ( & @callchans ! )

the sun stood high as bronson made way through the hotel grounds, skin newly kissed golden over the muscles of his arms and freckles darkening over the bridge of his nose. he had spent the entire morning sailing solo and as usual when beat, he paid little attention to his surroundings. if he had of been watching where he was going, he may have avoided the collision altogether but when he finally realised what was happening, it was already too late. there she was, an angel standing in the sun and seemingly unaware of his presence. there was nothing bronson could do to stop it, their bodies soon collided and ( acting on instinct ) all he could do to avoid both of them stumbling to the ground was to grab her lightly by the shoulders. the touch of her skin was soft and warm, he could register that much before coming to his senses. « woah, woah, » he spoke fast and all in one breathe, « sorry ! » taking a step back, he let go of her frame and looked around himself to make sure no belongings lay scattered. had she been carrying papers, he thought, they might have shot into the air like a burst feather pillow. a cautious smile followed a sigh of relief, his eyes hesitantly seeking hers. bronson had realised that he could no more change charli’s mind than he could persuade the dawn not to come, so he had fought his own desire and let her be. instead, he would rehearse what he might say to her ( if she would only let him ) every minute of the night. yet as he stood there in front of her, he completely blanked and cursed charli for being the only girl to have ever made him feel insecure and somehow even now holding that same power over him. « i – you okay ? » 

[callchans-blog]

suongsp‌:

ft. @callchans

the bright sun, soft sand, and crashing waves was all exactly what preston needed to unwind this week. after his last couple weeks turned into something he had not been prepared for, preston could not be more grateful for the week long escape to cabo. he was treating this week as a fresh start, a chance to cleanse himself of all the bad vibes with clear blue ocean water and a fresh tan. and that cleanse meant letting the drama slide right off his shoulders like a bead of water. he’d already reconciled with kendall and now he was determined to replace the tension between him and his longtime best friend and that started with their one of favourite summer past times — beach volleyball. he found bronson easily, the redhead lounging on the beach, and he jogged up to him with a smile and spun the white volleyball he’d borrowed from their resort. “you down to get your ass whooped, callahan?” he challenged, lips tilting in a smirk.

since arriving in cabo his skin had turned a honeyed brown, long days spent by the water and basking in the sunlight clearly paying off. he’d been keeping a relatively low profile ever since their arrival, he thought it better that way and ( if nothing else ) it had allowed him to reconnect with some old friends. a few months ago he’d been looking forward to playing beach volleyball with preston, instead he’d found himself partying it up in declan and hanler’s room. sipping on some bottled water he shook his head at the thought and how sad it all seemed, pathetic even. from the shadows behind him came a form and he could recognise it belonged to his best friend, long before the boy appeared before him. if at first he froze, he was relieved to see a smile on the lips of the other as he propped himself up slowly on his elbows. « come on pres, » he teased, mirroring the smirk of the other « you know that no matter how hard you try, you never beat me at sports... » it didn’t take him long to get up on his feet, placing his sunglasses back on the bridge of his nose and grabbing the ball from the hands of the other. « but then it never gets old seeing you try ! »

[callchans-blog]

vnderblts‌:

this spring break wasn’t all about partying. beyond that, it was also a time for there to be some peace and solace - something that was very much needed after the events of last weekend and what transpired on the plane trip. the perfect way for reagan to find her tranquility ? a private place on the beach, where the sounds of the ocean crashing onto the shore and birds chirping were the only audible noises around her. and of course where there was five star food and drink service available. taking in all that was around her in her oversized chanel shades & a light pink bikini leaving just enough for the imagination, the girl rested her head against the pillow on the sunbed with a strawberry margarita in hand. the private time came to a halt when she heard her name called out, and from a very familiar voice at that. “bronson ? ” she questions, lowering her shades and tilting her head to the direction of the voice to confirm. surely enough it was him, and what an interesting turn of events that was. it’s not like the two hadn’t spent time together alone, they were the first people each other dated - the first kiss, the person she crushed on heavily in her childhood. it was a weird thought to think about though, because when freshman year hit they broke up and just went completely different directions.  a laugh can’t help but to escape when she hears his tequila comment, almost slightly embarrassed to know that would be the talk of the trip for awhile. “wow, guess you’re just going to have to give everyone a show and skinny dip if this marg ends up on you.” she teases with a grin, holding up the margarita shes been sipping on. as he grabs a seat next to her, she sits up from laying down to engage in conversation with him. “i wish i could’ve done more.” and she’s completely honest in the admission, still not completely satisfied. dialing back, she takes a sigh over her previous comment, maybe slowly realizing all of their drama was getting out of hand. “some days i wish i could go back to when my biggest worry with a guy was if he knew to order me my favorite milkshake. now they’re laughing with girls i hate and mocking my pain.” the vulnerability is apparent in her tone, something rarely that ever happens, but despite their years of lack of communication, bronson reminded her of innocence - a time before the drama of high school. “looks like we both have gotten out of hand recently…kendall yasir… preston’s ex…really ? ”

chances were reagan had seen the shock register on his face before he could hide it, taken aback by her honesty. « come on, » he susurred, knowing better than to entertain the idea of what she could possibly have meant by wishing she could have done more. was it possible she had always been this way, only he hadn’t noticed way back when ? he found himself reminiscing over when they were younger and it struck him just how different she appeared now, all the softness of a young girl replaced by sharp edges and chiselled lines. studying her as she spoke, he noticed that some softness did remain – that supple dent above her lip still there, as well as the tender curve to her smile. it was as though her words and the tone in which spoke had created a wave of melancholy, one that washed over him much like the waves further down by the shore and while they had both long since moved on, bronson oculdn’t help but wonder if she knew how simply taken he had been by her back then. then again it was reagan in front of him, chances were she most definitely knew ! the mention of his own misstep brought his attention back to what she was actually saying, her words causing a deep and slow sigh to escape his lips; as though his brain needed time to think of what to say. the whole thing had been very uncharacteristic ( from the kiss, right down to his reaction to the blast ) which is why, he figured, it had come as a surprise to so many. hearing reagan mention it was different though, to the point where his sigh was swapped out for a soft chuckle. it was hard to believe that her words were said about the same guy who, for the longest time, would ask her permission before kissing her. he shook his head in disbelief, « yeah, well... admittedly it wasn’t my finest moment. it would never have happened hadn’t i been drunk, though. » he brought a hand up to his face to shield it from the sun, the fact that it helped disguise his shame a mere bonus. « and i realise that may not matter to you, but it makes a world of difference to me... » not sure what else to say, he simply shrugged. after finally being able to leave skylar’s, he’d decided to keep mum about it all to anyone and everyone who wasn’t personally affected by it, but somehow opening up to reagan appeared to come easy even after all this time. « have to say, so far senior year hasn’t exactly been what i imagined it would all those years ago ! » another chuckle escaped, though more nervous this time.

[callchans-blog]

@dynamvte

seeking any form of distraction from having to spend time in room one-o-five, bronson found himself wandering aimlessly through the hotel grounds. the senior trip he’d been looking forward to for as long as he could remember was finally under way and cabo was truly showing itself from its best side, so why did it feel like he was nearing the gallows ? downcast ever since the apocalyptic morning at skylar’s, the redhead wasn’t quite sure of what his next move should ( or even could ) be. calls had gone unanswered and messages left on read, he’d more or less isolated himself and dedicated all of his time to either sweating in the gym or walking his dog around the lighthouse alone. he still wasn’t sure what to do, but he knew things couldn’t stay the way they were either. he was downcast still, but for what ? charli was clearly determined to stay as far away from bronson as possible, somehow able to make a few short inches feel like miles between them on the flight over. he looked down at the phone in his hand and watched as it unlocked itself by the recognition of his face. the device held a thousand memories – not just in the hundreds of pictures that could tell his story, but in everything from text messages to the games he played to pass time. it seemed only fair that is should unlock so easily for him, but him only. scrolling through his contacts, he knew the name he was looking for wouldn’t be listed among his favourites or even recently called. « hey ! whereabouts are you ? » bronson wasn’t sure whether he’d just grabbed a lifeline or tightened the noose around his neck, either way he didn’t really care. cabo was supposed to be all about having fun, something xavier was sure to deliver on. « right. well listen, you know how you said i’d slipped into a slump earlier ? i need you to help me get out of it. »

[callchans-blog]

@vnderblts

walking along the beach, his eyes moved from sand to stone and from rock pools to breaking waves. in the gentle spring sunshine he almost felt as if he were swimming in the briny aroma and as he lifted his gaze he could see the wind billowing the sails of ships going over the horizon. like merry children in a field of daisies the boats skipped across the crested waves, reminding him of how much he had missed sailing and all that came with it. once they had checked in, bronson had left no time go to waste before visiting the port and finding a boat he could lease for the duration of the trip. the flight over had been anything but smooth, so it was reassuring to know he could ( literally ) sail away if he should feel the need to get away from his peers, if only for just a few hours. if the scenes having played out during their flight had been a sign of things to come during their stay, he was sure to need the means of escaping. there was little to no indication any one of them had been able to leave their drama or worries behind, before stepping onto the plane. « reagan ? » he exclaimed, noticeably surprised to run into the girl so shortly after having thought of her. though a soft grin spread soon spread across his lips, eyes squinting because of the sun. « had i known i’d been running into you i would’ve worn my swim trunks, that way i could just wash off the tequila and sprite off by getting in the water... » he couldn’t remember the last time he’d found himself alone with reagan, not really. once high school had started they had gone in opposite directions, however they had never ceased being a part of the one another’s lives either. not one of the many who were easily intimidated by the school’s very own sovereign, bronson took a seat on the sun bed next to her and signalled for the waiter to bring him one of whatever she was having. « throwing that drink was a little much, don’t you think ? »

[callchans-blog]

Send a space thing for questions

Planets: Life

Mercury: What’s your full name? 

Venus: What’s your first language? 

Earth: Where’s your home? 

Mars: What’s your sexuality? 

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings? 

Saturn: Any pets? 

Uranus: What’s your hobby? 

Neptune: When’s your birthday? 

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are? 

Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study? 

Stars: Experiences

Sun: Have you ever had alcohol? 

Sirius: Have you ever failed a class? 

Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster? 

Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country? 

Arcturus: Have you cried out of something other than sadness? 

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about? 

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? 

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone? 

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? 

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend?

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t? 

Constellations: Favourites

Centaurus: Favourite holiday?

Orion: Favourite month?

Cassiopeia: Favourite book?

Delphinus: Favourite study?

Hercules: Favourite instrument?

Gemini: Favourite song?

Pegasus: Favourite place to be?

Libra: Favourite colour? 

Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear?

Aries: Favourite movie? 

Cygnus: Favourite weather? 

Hydra: Favourite sound? 

Galaxies: Love/Friends  

Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend?  

Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social? 

Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight? 

Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss? 

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? 

Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much? 

Pinwheel Galaxy: Would you date the last person you talked to? 

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now? 

Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someone out of pity? 

Tadpole Galaxy: Would you deny a relationship/friendship? 

Whirlpool Galaxy: Have you ever cried over a breakup? 

Other stuff: Wishes 

Comet: What’s your big dream? 

Asteroid: What does your dream life look like? 

Meteor: What’s something you wish you could tell, but can’t? 

Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be? 

Shooting Star: If you could bring back one thing, what would it be? 

Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years? 

Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die? 

Quasar: If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be? 

Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? 

Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see? 

[callchans-blog]

suongsp‌:

preston couldn’t decide whether it was a blessing or a curse, how close the two males were, for he could identify every emotion flicking across bronson’s face. he saw his eyes grow distant as he focused on a memory and preston knew exactly what memory he was flashing back to. the thought of it pained him, knowing that that night would live forever in bronson’s memory — and kendall’s — and he tore his eyes away, collapsing down on the edge of the bed in the room. propping his elbows on his knees, preston let his head fall into his hands as he sighed. a simple apology or act of kindness could never mend the ache in preston’s chest at the simple thought of his best friend being with his first love, but it was a start and preston had to keep reminding himself of that. this wouldn’t be fixed in a day, despite how badly he wanted it to be, but hearing the desperation in bronson’s voice as he spoke again reaffirmed to preston that this wasn’t the end. he can’t help but laugh at the male’s offer. name your price. if only it were that easy; if only preston could just demand bronson do his laundry for the rest of the year, buy him a gram of weed, or clean his car and all would be better. “i can’t just…come up with some favour or price right on the spot here,” he responded, dropping his hands to look up at bronson with a laugh. “i don’t know how you can make it up to me — not right now. i can’t think straight enough to even think that far ahead right now.” he moved one hand to rub the back of his neck where a throbbing headache was beginning to form. “i just…don’t wanna think anymore. i’m tired of imagining you with her, i’m tired of wishing i was at home with my family, i’m tired of thinking of what my sister could have possibly said to my dad, i’m just tired.” he paused, lips pursing, and looked up to bronson. “tell you what — keep my mind off of all this bullshit for the rest of the time we’re stuck in this hell hole—” no offence, skylar, “—and it’ll be a start.”

bronson sighed, a combined reaction to the morning so far and the aching in his skull; ebbing and flowing like a cold tide, only there was no actual relief from the pain. it was a constant reminder of the night before, countless games of beer pong and rounds on the beer bong. he could see why they called it a hangover, he thought, for it felt as if the blackest of clouds loomed over his head with no intention of clearing until late afternoon. preston was had been right, he was not one to be trusted with decisions when drunk and that was part of the reason he didn’t drink all too often ( at least not compared to his peers). the second being his dedication to atheltics, of course. watching as he other crashed down and onto the bed, he caught a glimpse of the snow covered landscape – the blizzard consisting of more flakes than it would ever make sense to count, each making its own daring path to the white dunes building taller and taller. on any given day, he should have been able to see his own home from the floor to ceiling windows, now all he saw was a swirling storm of screaming silver. it only made him sigh once more, as he was reminded once more that they were all stuck inside – all together. he could hear someone shouting from further down the hall and thought it sounded like reagan, though with everything the blast had covered it really could have been anyone of those left and snowed in alongside himself. he wanted to mention the last piece of information ( or gossip, rather ) which shakira had left for them, but preston beat him to it. or rather, he made it clear he’d rather not it be mentioned at all. so, he bit his tongue despite not being able to get the thought out of his own head. it just seemed so odd, that mrs suong who had been there to comfort bronson’s mother admits his fathers many affairs, had been keeping one hidden heerself. then, a sense of relief – a start. frankly, it was more than he could have hoped for and he, of course, was ready to jump at the chance. « and i will, » his voice was reassuring, he meant what he said though there was something he had to do first. « i just – » eyes darting in the direction charli had walked away he wondered if she might be alone, then looked back at preston. « after i try to talk to charli ? i know, she likely doesn’t want to talk to me but... i need to at least try, pres. after that, i’ll make it my mission to keep your mind off of it all. »

[callchans-blog]

outgoing imessage 📩 kendall

KENDALL: u know, u sound pretty accusatory for someone that isn’t trying to suggest i did it ?

KENDALL: or he ? could b a guy behind it. how gossip girl would that be?

KENDALL: i mean look, we fucked up. it was stupid of us to think that we could keep this a secret

KENDALL: honestly tho ? we were drunk. it's not like we r the first ppl to ever make bad decisions bc of alcohol

BRONSON: come on ken

BRONSON: if it was reagan maybe, but i don't think you'd actually leak ur own texts !

BRONSON: especially not since they made us both look p bad...

BRONSON: yeah, well i don't think either one of us will win either one of them back with that tactic. lbr

[callchans-blog]

chvrlis‌:

     no matter how hurt and angry she feels, charli can’t help but see every facet of their OLD relationship anytime she looks at him. once she’s able to bypass his look of anguish ( the current source of her own anger ), she sees it all: the notes he left in her locker between classes, the short pauses she took between laps for track to watch him practice, college applications from the comfort of the couches in their respective homes, late night study dates, lunch in the cafeteria with preston and kendall. but then, her mind takes a step back and it all comes CRASHING down, those memories replaced instead by the ones of his failed attempt at an honest conversation. ‘ a late apology doesn’t really do much for me right now, no. not after what i had to go through earlier, ’ she sighs, continuing to maintain what she deems to be much-needed distance from the other. as she realizes it’ll take more than surface-level chastising to get bronson to understand her point of view, she feels herself tense up, her shoulders rising and her arms tightening across her chest. sharing her feelings in depth is still, to this day, not her forte. ‘ i didn’t like you back there, with all your aggression and your yelling. it just — it didn’t feel like YOU. and, not to be dramatic, but now i’m having trouble figuring out if i dated the real you, or some version of you that you curated to seem more appealing. either way, no part of that, or the fact that you and kendall hid something from me, really makes me want to spend time with you right now. ’ with that, she begins walking towards the door, fully ready to exit the room and find another to take refuge in, somehow convinced that this is the game and bronson are going to play until the snow storm allows them to leave. he stops her in her tracks less than a second later, playing on her damned curiosity with an unfinished sentence. ‘ because what, bronson ? ’ she exhales, her words sounding more like one long breath than actual distinct syllables.

as they stood there, it was near impossible to believe that only a few days earlier they had both been sat in the phan family’s kitchen together, drinking tea. no animosity, just charli catching bronson up on what he’d missed while away and him putting a smile on her lips ( in spite of all ). he’d craved her touch ever since they first broke up and as they’d been sitting there, he’d almost reached out for her hand. hesitation came in the way and he saw the error in his ways, thinking it was best not to. if only he hadn’t been so anxious of what she might have said, then maybe he could have mustered the courage to ask her why. why things had ended between them and why they couldn’t just try again ? the storm had yet to reach the hamptons that night, but it had been cold enough – cold enough for him to entertain the idea of suggesting he should stay. all he had wanted was to just be with her again and he’d thought that maybe ( just maybe ) she’d wanted that too. howbeit, he’d gotten up to leave that night and now ? now near all he could think of was how he wished he’d stayed. because apart from preston, charli was one of only few people around who he felt completely free and true to self, now all was falling apart and he couldn’t help but to flinch as she suggested his panicked self had really been his true self. ergo, if he used to have it all, it seemed as though all was falling apart – brick by brick. with regards to charli, he was left with little more than an imprint on his pillow case where she used to lay and the imprint she’d left on him, of course. « ‘cause i said i always would be, » he stopped and tore his fingers through his hair, sure of what he wanted to say only not of how to say it. « look, if i could shovel my way out of this place i would. i hate seeing what i did to you... seeing how much it’s killing you. » his voice was much quieter now. « but if there was any truth to what that blast said about you, i just want you to know that i’ll be here waiting. » he wasn’t sure whether he was being considerate, or just a coward.

[callchans-blog]

suongsp‌:

he hadn’t meant to snap like that. preston stared at his cell phone where it sat on the floor against the wall he’d chucked it at and he pursed his lips, shaking his head at himself for losing control like that. he could feel bronson staring at him, but his thoughts were reeling too much to even try to focus on the other male’s presence. suddenly, everything was beginning to make sense — he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge their strained friendship since bronson and charli broke up and he disappeared to aspen, preston had just assumed it was bronson’s strange way of coping with his break-up and he’d hoped they’d get over it soon. but of course, bronson had pulled away from preston because of this secret he’d been keeping and had been letting such a stupid mistake get in the way of their friendship. when bronson began speaking again, his voice snapped preston out of his thoughts and he looked to his best friend. he saw the worry and desperation in his eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath. the rational side of preston knew bronson’s secret wasn’t the sole cause of his anguish, there was another secret that had flipped his world upside-down. sure, bronson had fucked up — big time — but he didn’t deserve to be the target of all of preston’s anger. letting out a heavy sigh, preston’s shoulders slumped in defeat. it was just a waste of both of their time to keep running in circles like this. “well, at least you said that,” preston responded, grateful an apology finally slipped from the other’s lips. he felt very out of his element, confronting his emotions like this, and he raked his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “look i…i get it. it meant nothing, you both were upset and drunk — i know that you are not one to be trusted with decisions when drunk,” preston said, letting out an empty laugh. “i really have no right in getting upset with whatever weird ways kendall uses to get over our break-up — she can do what she wants and not tell me, that’s her business and i at least owe that to her. but you?” he shook his head. “i expect a lot more honesty from someone i consider my best friend. it’s gonna take a lot more than a sorry for me to feel like i can trust you again.”

it felt as though bronson was somehow intertwined in all of bronson’s memories, raised side by side they had shared both the good and the bad. sometimes they would disagree ( of course ) but they would always make up in the end. after all these years they were practically brothers. he took a deep breath and felt his chest expanding, nodding softly at the words of the other as it collapsed once more. he realised then just how long it had taken for him to actually apologise, wondering if he had even seemed sorry at all before ? maybe the word ( sorry ) couldn’t fix the heartbreak bronson had caused – maybe it was just a word and merely a band-aid for a bullet wound – but it was an apology, the very least he owed preston at this point in time. « pres... » his empty laugh hit bronson like a slap in the face, sending shivers down his spine as it took him back to that night. that night kendall had come over, which had not seemed out of the ordinary at first. with his relationship having come to an end the company was more than welcome, kendall having become someone he found himself confiding in – as did she, in him. they’d grown close to one another and in a drunken haze, bronson must have confused their bond for something it was not. he should have known it was a bad idea ( he should have stopped it ) but before he’d even realised they had locked lips. the next morning he’d woken up with a new sense of guilt sitting on his chest and a secret they agreed would stay between the two of them. only, with a secret like that, at some point the secret itself had become increasingly irrelevant – the fact that they had kept it, had not. « but you ? » he lifted his glance just in time to catch preston shaking his head. after all had been said and done ( and after all that they had been through ) the boy standing before him was a part of him, just as much as bronson was a part of the other. « name your price, pres. i fucked up, i know, but i will make it up to you. i promise to. » he meant every single word as he said them, in a split second he tried to think of something he wouldn’t do for the other but came up blank. no, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for preston – whether it be a favor or payment in kind, as a way to make up for his mistake.

[callchans-blog]

chvrlis‌:

     since reading the blast, charli had found more solace in the few minutes she’d spent collecting her thoughts alone, than in actually finding out the TRUTH from bronson and kendall. the whole ordeal had felt like a painful tooth extraction gone wrong. and charli’s feelings in the process ? ignored and brushed under a metaphorical mat. that alone made her feel like she needed more time to process everything, to come to terms with the version of her ex-boyfriend she’d been confronted with just instants prior. the arm grab, the aggressive tone, the increase in volume, the avoidance and his clear intent to hide the truth, it all seemed WRONG for him. like someone had taken over his mind for a moment. that, or the boy she’d dated was nothing but a front for the athlete’s real personality. almost as her thoughts manifested his presence, he entered the room an instant later, knocking on the wall beside him to call her attention over. ‘ oh my god, ’ she sighed, an exasperated eye roll following her words, ‘ bronson, what part of ‘ i don’t want to talk ’ and ‘ leave me alone ’ was unclear to you ? do i need to spell both out ? you screwed up, tried to cover it up and now that i know the truth, i’m trying to process it. and i’d love to have a few minutes to do so, alone. ’ while the frosty nature of their exchange felt odd and uncomfortable, there was something incredibly FREEING about expressing her feelings without the semblance of a filter. after months spent constantly making sure she was never a negative presence or a weight in his life, charli finally felt the need to advocate for her own feelings, rather than his own. ‘ stop trying to invade every space i’m in to try to get me to me to forgive you. i’m kind, but i don’t exist to make you feel better about your own mistakes and how you handled them, ’ she continued, her arms once again crossing over her chest protectively, adding another much-needed barrier between the two of them, ‘ also, using a pleading tone and your puppy dog eyes to try to get me to feel bad about sticking up for myself and my feelings is MANIPULATIVE, unnecessary and, frankly, painting a very unattractive picture of you in my mind. ’  

she made it clear as day that she didn’t want him there and he couldn’t blame her for it. the talk between the four of them seemed to have spiralled out of control before it had even begun, now he feared that he may have wasted what little opportunity there had been for him to talk to charli. perhaps that was the reason he remained where he was, taking every hit, as though she was blowing kisses not throwing punches. ( at least it was something. ) it seemed uncharacteristically cliché, he thought – the tale of a son who repeated the mistakes of his other. on the other hand, it only made sense that the person he’d been the most dependent upon for his very survival should have had the greatest impact. « look, » his voice was barely above a whisper and he doubted charli heard, she carried on and he remained by the door frame. looking down and away, rubbing at his neck. how could he have been so naice as to think kendall and his secret would be kept just that, a secret ? he knew there wasn’t any room left now for anything other than honesty, though he feared he might have come to that realisation a little too late. « i didn’t come to try to make you feel bad about sticking up for yourself ? nor to get you to forgive me, i don’t expect you to ! i – we shouldn’t have kept it a secret. it was nothing but a stupid mistake, but a mistake is still a mistake, right ? so, » at that point, the air was thick with tension and a lump formed in his throat, any attempts to keep it clear futile. he looked at her and thought, that if he didn’t leave soon, she might. he looked again, only to remind himself of just how angel-like she really looked; sweet as syrup, reminding him of damp sheets dancing as they hang on laundry lines. « i came to apologise, char. i realise my ‘ sorry ‘ may not mean a whole lot to you right now, especially not after how i handled things back there, » the panic was gone, but he could still feel his anxiety looming; coursing through his veins as though it hitched a ride on every blood cell. it’s beat quickening by the second, his heart pounded in his chest as he spoke once more. « i’ll leave you alone, really ! but i’ll be here waiting if you change your mind. cause – » he bit his tongue, not sure whether to finish the sentence he’d just begun or not. how could he tell her, after all the mess he’d created, that he still had feelings for her, too ?

[callchans-blog]

outgoing imessage 📩 kendall

KENDALL: idk b, how was i supposed to know that gossip blogs were even still a thing?

KENDALL: im not even sure why someone would have wanted to go through my phone in the first place ??

KENDALL: but u have to know that the only person that didn't want this getting out more than u is me

KENDALL: charlis not even talking to me now

BRONSON: well those texts didn't just magically appear on there ?

BRONSON: that shakira person was sent them somehow and by someone. i swear to god when we find out who she is

BRONSON: this is messed up, all of it

BRONSON: what the hell were we thinking!?

[callchans-blog]

｡  ·  °   twitter : open ⁎

@reaganv: welp, thx gossip blog. it's no longer tied - i think sk*l*r just beat out her best friend as the /biggest/ mess at bhs

@reaganv: is there some magic water i'm not drinking that makes everyone a raging sloot and liar?

@reaganv: actually, i don't want to know. i just want the first flight out of new york

@bronscallahan: let me know if you're about to give that shovelling a go, after all

[callchans-blog]

IMESSAGE ↠ FINN & BRONSON.

FINN: yeah, /well/ the whole of new york isn't her closest friend either so, it shouldn't be surprising that i hit u up

FINN: i wasn't exactly assuming that ur dms were blowing up over this but if they are then i hope the response is equal to the bs i've heard myself

FINN: i'm not trying to be a hypocrite bcos i fucked up too, personally, but i don't get it, dude. charli of all people ... and with her friend?

FINN: do u really think she deserved that?

BRONSON: so, i should have taken a page from your book and gone for her rival ?

BRONSON: look, i don't expect you to pull a 180 on me and i don't exactly owe you, of all people, an explanation

BRONSON: just know that in breaking her heart, i broke my own too

[callchans-blog]

IMESSAGE ↠ FINN & BRONSON.

FINN: hey bro, it's finn.

FINN: not sure if you have my number saved, but

FINN: i need to talk to you about charli, dude. she's kind of upset and she told me what happened

BRONSON: yeah well the whole of new york was told what happened

BRONSON: so unless you've got something new to say to me ??

[callchans-blog]

outgoing imessage 📩 kendall

BRONSON: look... i'm not about to suggest you leaked those messages,

BRONSON: but do you have any idea of how they ended up on that fucking gossip blog, of all places?