callmeteor

[callmeteor]

if yall are waiting on dms from me... my bad😭

[callmeteor]

“nobody is making you do this” i am driven by unnatural forces you will never even begin to comprehend

[callmeteor]

texas canon to the ff7 universe?

[callmeteor]

i spent my entire drive home today thinking about cloud... and how. frustrating and confusing it must be to have five years of your life unexplainably stripped from you and you have no idea that it was. thinking he spent this whole time in SOLDIER but can't recall a single thing about it, suffering the effects of amnesia caused by mako poisoning, sure, but how, and why? the realization of your memories returning only when your physical body is unable to handle your consciousness, slipping back into a comatose state, and beginning to piece together everything that's made no fucking sense for so long, WHILE BEING GASLIT THE WHOLE TIME (cmon seph...).

like shit, no wonder he's up late at night doing random exercises to pass the time, to exert some of the anxiety from his body about everything that's not only happening inside of him, but going on with the entire world around him... and the only person he opens up to even just a smidgen is tifa because... she was there, but even she is questioning the reality of what really happened. and he feels like he can't even trust her fully due to the paranoia that she doesn't even really exist. all this happening WHILE he's dealing with different existences inside of him, different influences attempting to control him, unexplainable violent urges that aren't his, and dealing with these vision-induced migraines that are fucking with his ability to just exist. AND having his actions possessed at random intervals and blacking out to the point he can't remember but blames himself regardless because he did that shit and he hurt people he loves. man. my ass just started crying in the car i won't lie like i feel for him so sympathetically in a way i can't explain, but for someone who seems to be losing it regularly, i think he's handling everything that's going on pretty damn well. or maybe that's just because he's an internalizer and struggles to express anything going on inside him in a manner that's beneficial to him or anyone, or maybe he just doesn't see the point in it (or a hot mix of both)... and by that i mean definitely a hot mix of both. still proud of him tho. i adore the shit outta that guy.

anyway, time to lay down

[callmeteor]

❛   Dunno  .   ❜   He  supposes  they're  about  one  in  the  same  ,  both  stumped  on  contemplating  the  yet  uncontemplated  . 

❛   Haven't  thought  about  it  till  now  .   ❜   Arms  cross  over  his  chest  ,  and  he  leans  his  weight  to  the  right  .  ❛   Prob'ly  depends  ,   ❜   On  what  one might  consider  an  end  ,  a  justification  ,  and  the  means  to  make  it  so  .  Not  that  he  cares  so  much  ,  but  the  concept  was  interesting  enough  to  spin  around  in  his  head  for  a  little  while  . 

A  vague  shrug  leaves  his  shoulders  ,  and  he  squats  to  give  his  legs  a  break  from  the  recently  acquired  weighted  armor  at  his  torso  .   ❛   But I guess it doesn't  really  matter  .   ❜   Eyes  peer  to  the  cloudy  mists  that  hide  the  sky  ,  and  he  muses  ,   ❛   Just wish  I  could  tell  what  time  it  is  .   ❜

they have a habit of letting their thoughts race ahead of sense. before they know it they’ve opened their mouth and now they sit, and stare, and wonder if it’s too late to tie their tongue.

“ yes ? ” the answer lacks confidence. “ maybe ? i. . . i do not think i’ve stopped long enough to really decide. ”

they have. everything twisted and tangled together, and they were rewarded with a pounding headache.

“ what do you think ? ”

[callmeteor]

SILLY HEADCANON MEME: if you get tagged in this, you must post one of your funniest, silliest headcanons regarding your muse(s). just pick as many muses as you want but remember that it must be silly. no angst, no tears, nothing deep. be funny. bonus points if your hcs are totally against popular fanon.

me when the rule is to not have anything deep but im writing cloud strife ... and also says... just one. but i dont know how to shut up

TAGGED BY : @lumined ( thank u friend )

TAGGING : @starshcwer / @keyschosen , @nibelstrikes , @metropolois , @wistrea , annd i've reached the part of the tagging process where i get weird, SO ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS, please do :D

* Cloud really likes compliments , but fails epically in responding to them . he's apt to do that thing where he thinks he's carrying on a bit , or pretending to play a part, but he's monotonous and seemingly disinterested to the other person , so they think he's being completely serious . they're confused , and he's too tired to correct the situation . so, he cannot flirt to save his life . * Never forget the way he smiled if you pick the "Smile at her." option to Aerith in Cosmo Canyon in Rebirth.

Man can't fake a single emotion. * Gift re-gifter ... toxic trait * When he thinks he's being supportive and offers his opinions or advice to encourage other people but ends up saying all the wrong things and making everyone uncomfortable. maybe not silly for him, but it makes some more serious scenes a little more humorous * He's a pretty straight-forward, face-value kinda guy... which means some of his internal thoughts become external thoughts... when they probably (definitely) shouldn't * While he can't flirt on purpose , I think he ends up accidentally flirting with people time to time. doesn't know what's happening, and doesn't know why the other party might display interest in him. he's confused, he was just talking * He loooves inside jokes and will continually reference them when the chances arise . He'll run it into the ground with a straight face and no inflection in his tone... but it brings him joy in his brain * Petty, but in a fun way... or like... a dry sarcasm way that no one understands but him. but he thinks it's funny . i think him being the only one who gets it is part of its charm * He also loves going with the bit. I know i mentioned it above, but he'll take just about anything in stride... Honeybee dancer? sure. throw on a dress to save tifa? yep. Turn into a frog? ribbit ribbit bitch he wants to be included * HONESTLY, most of cloud's funny shit is done on accident because he just has a personality that gets him in some silly situations and a forward honesty that gets pretty goofy once you get to know him. he's just a big ol dork who tries a little too hard to act cool and mysterious

and to top it off, a link to silly text posts that remind me of cloud .

[callmeteor]

An  interesting  sentiment  .  And  not  one  he  expected  to  be  consoled  with  .  His  initial  words  were  born  with  a  double  meaning  ,  tapping  into  Verso's  general  secretive  nature  ,  and  his  own  identity  stored  far  beneath  the  dirt  that  houses  his  true  soul  in  a  grave  someplace  in  Lumiére  ;  abandoned  ,  and  forgotten  by  all  but  the  self  that  exists  inside  of  his  dreams  .  Still  ,  his  hypocritical  skepticism  and  his  knack  for  hiding  his  own  truths  leaves  him  ever  -  untrusted  of  the  world  around  him  .  Especially  those  that  elude  even  the  simplest  of  conjectures  .  Verso  ,  namely  . 

❛   Sure  .   ❜   His  act  of  nonchalance  is  filled  with  silent  observance  ,  that  perhaps  he  might  learn  more  in  silence  than  shared  conversation  . 

❛  And  not  everything  should  be  .   ❜   Cloud  continues  his  sentence  with  his  own  opinion  ,  only  slightly  agreeable  .  He  thinks  to  Lune  and  her  reaction  to  Verso's  hidden  nature  ,  believing  her  reaction  just  ,  but  not  wanting  to  sink  his  teeth  into  anyone  else's  business  but  his  own  .  They've  all  got  enough  to  worry  about  .   ❛   Just  can't  be  upset  when  people're  hiding  from  you  ,  too  .   ❜   Perhaps  he's  testing  the  waters  .  Perhaps  he's  just  curious  as  to  what  he'll  say  .

everybody knows somebody with something to hide.

❝ isn't that just human nature ? everyone has things they'd rather keep private. ❞

cloud's words were no doubt directed and verso's elusiveness specifically, he had been around enough expedition parties to know when distrust was beginning to brew. and yet, @meteorea seemed to be a distrusting person in general, skeptical to a fault. verso could tell that cloud had his own fair share of secrets, things hidden both just beneath the surface and further down that were under lock and key. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit curious, but he'd do well not to ask any questions. after all, questions invited more questions.

❝ hiding things isn't always a bad thing, no ? not everything needs to be shared. ❞

something to hide ━ accepting

[callmeteor]

He's  wrought  with  concern  ,  and  he  never  knows  what  to  do  with  it  .  Knees  simply  bend  ,  digging  into  the  soil  that  plants  their  past  selves  beneath  them  ,  dirtying  his  trousers  with  its  tainted  sorrows  .  He's  overwhelmed  ,  too  ,  surely  ,  in  a  way  much  different  from  that  displayed  of  Arthur  .  Cloud  ?  He's  wrought  with  fear  ,  and  rage  ,  and  grief  ,  all  compounded  so  deep  within  the  earth  that  it  surely  sleeps  in  the  seventh  circle  of  hell  ,  so  hardened  by  years  of  solitude  that  it  does  not  even  burn  .  Trauma  lingers  betweeen  them  ,  and  the  ex  -  prince  cannot  help  but  breathe  a  sigh  of  exhaustion  .  Like  he  wants  to  release  this  weight  that  presses  down  on  them  ,  like  if  breathing  might  dissolve  into  the  air  ,  perhaps  it  might  become  less  heavy  .  Yet  ,  as  many  times  as  he's  tried  ,  it  never  does  .  It  still  does  not  .

When  their  eyes  meet  ,  he  sees  it  .  All  of  the  years  they've  spent  together  ,  and  all  the  years  they've  spent  apart  .  He  thinks  he  loved  him  ,  but  he's  never  had  much  experience  in  understanding  his  own  emotions  .  Even  now  ,  as  he  peers  into  his  soul  ,  desperate  ,  pleading  ,  and  wracked  with  guilt  ,  everything  in  him  wants  to  look  away  .  Can  he  do  this  ?  Surely  .  He's  lived  this  long  .  He's  made  it  this  far  .  He  remembers  how  :  steeling  himself  to  the  truth  and  suppressing  the  pain  .  Carrying  ever  forward  ,  and  forgoing  the  past  as  nonexistence  .  Though  ,  it's  a  bit  hard  to  let  go  of  something  that  looks  him  in  the  face  and  laces  its  fingers  betwixt  his  own  .  Even  that  feeling  becomes  familiar  ,  and  the  fear  that  he  might  meet  the  past  he's  been  running  from  ceaselessly  for  years  uncounted  ,  becomes  harrowing  .  So  harrowing  ,  in  fact  ,  that  he  falls  into  its  trap  of  clasping  his  fingers  back  around  his  ,  because  this  is  the  only  touch  he's  felt  since  he's  left  ,  and  he  is  overcome  with  the  potential  feeling  of  belonging  despite  forcing  himself  into  the  opposite  of  it  for  time  unending  .

Ocean  gaze  gathers  with  worry  as  he  Arthur  curses  to  the  air  ,  gathering  himself  from  the  emotion  that  threatens  all  -  ending  consumption  ,  and  he  empathizes  in  a  way  he  could  never  express  with  words  . 

Apologies  .  Guilt  and  apologies  are  what  cross  the  bridge  to  one  another  ,  and  Cloud  still  stands  there  in  woeful  silence  .  His  eyes  are  wide  as  he  keeps  his  hand  held  against  his  old  friends  ,  like  he's  still  convincing  himself  this  is  real  ,  and  he's  frozen  in  time  ,  like  this  present  does  not  exist  to  him  .  A  breath  draws  inward  .  Outward  again  .  The  process  repeats  until  he  feels  his  calves  ,  once  more  ,  pressed  into  the  terrain  below  them  ,  and  reminds  himself  that  he  yet  remains  .  Breathing  .  And  alive  .

❛  It  .  Uh  . ❜   Damn it  .  The  words  are  frozen  behind  the  cage  of  his  teeth  ,  and  his  brows  knit  in  obvious  frustration  of  his  lacking  ability  in  expression  .   ❛  You   .   .   .   didn't  hurt  me  . ❜   Are  the  final  words  that  allow  themselves  exit  from  within  ,  and  he's  still  not  sure  that  they  capture  the  essence  of  what  he  wishes  to  say  .

It  wasn't  your  fault  .  My  damage  is  not  your  doing  .  A  part  of  me  will  always  love  you  .  It  hurts  me  to  see  you  like  this  .           It's  all  silent  ,  as  he  stands  ,  still  from  the  shock  ;  a  statue  that  has  survived  the  fires  and  collected  the  ash  .  All  that  remains  is  stone  .

cloud has always been cold. but not in the way that cold freezes or chills. rather, the type of cold that brushes past on a warm summer day. the cold that is reprieve, soothing heated muscle and torn flesh. there is reason behind each word he speaks. meaning. care. it is hidden under a tone that is flat and misleading. arthur blinks through his tears to see wide blue eyes staring at him. there is a weight on his shoulder, even though no hand touches it.

he feels the weight of the world upon him.

relax. it was easier said than done. his pulse is rapid fire, aching all the way down to the marrow, beating on every bone as if a maniac trapped in a cage. the way his soul screams at him, the curse twisting ( because how dare he feel anything but fear !! ). it is more than fright: it is sadness, anguish, regret, loss, guilt, disbelief, horror. and then, it is long-lost love.

god, he remembers a time when he looked this child in the face with youthful brown eyes. they hid under the dining table after sneaking out late at night for a snack. he held cloud's hand and looked at him that evening, and the tiny voice of a child spoke in the lingering silence: would you still be my friend even if i wasn't here anymore ??

he never got a chance to explain what he meant. though looking at cloud now, all grown up, and himself, aging hands trembling between them, arthur thinks he doesn't have to explain. he was never really there to begin with, was he ?? always a ghost of a person. and he killed that boy a long time ago, didn't he ?? he killed them both.

he lets out a shaking breath, one he had been holding for seconds, or perhaps minutes, he doesn't know. it stabs pain into his chest that he promptly ignores. cloud looks at him intently, a silent stare making his features unreadable. the parts of him that arthur didn't know about, built up between the years of running and hiding and fighting. the slayer inhales, then exhales once again, the salt on his face drying. he remembers the screaming. the crying. the fire. the horrible, demonic laughter. and his own voice as he yelled for a friend that wasn't there.

it shows in the glassiness of his eyes, the past. it haunts them both, lingers between the teeth, sunk deep into the soil of their graves. he wipes at his face with the back of his hand and looks away. composure is fraying at the strings, but he tries so damn hard to keep it together. he has to, for cloud. the prince deserved it after what he did to him. he deserved so much more...

“ i... ” he can't explain the guilt that chokes his words. are you the only one ?? he wants to ask. but the question scares him too much for words to formulate. if cloud is here, he must be the only one, lest he would be back at the castle picking up the pieces of their past. arthur swallows thickly. his stomach churns, the pinprick agony of his curse compounding until he is wincing and clutching his chest. his free hand shoots up instinctively until he is gripping the other's hand. he doesn't even notice when he laces their fingers together ( it feels too familiar, maybe, and he perhaps looks young and frail again—or perhaps that is how he always looked ?? ).

“ fuck— ” he groans, biting his lip to stop himself from panting. he hangs his head to hide his face, brunette hair matting at the temple. his shoulders shake, though it is unclear if it is from pain or anguish. the words that fall from him are jumbled, but it is less from panic and more from sadness, and suffering, and pent up things he wants to speak because he is desperate between his suffering and the others.

“ i—i'm sorry. i should have never left you. i wish i didn't have to leave. i couldn't keep you safe—i'm sorry i couldn't keep you safe. how could you ever forgive me, i don't...”

[callmeteor]

The  question  feels  more  loaded  than  he  might  have  expected  ,  or  wanted  to  answer  .  ‘  How  have  you  been  ?  ’  she  asks  after  her  ceremonial  blade  lifts  from  his  shoulders  and  her  fingers  place  a  medal  around  his  neck  ;  he's  not  sure  how  or  if  he  should  respond  .  Is  he  allowed  to  speak  here  ?  Would  anybody  hear  him  were  he  to  address  the  princess  ,  Tifa  Lockhart  ,  directly  ?  It  feels  like  in  this  moment  ,  everything  matters  ,  and  the  weight  presses  hard  in  his  throat  .  Eyes  look  up  toward  her  with  curiosity  and  a  hint  of  bashfulness  ,  like  he's  nervous  to  be  meeting  her  face  to  face  after  so  long  apart  .  How  is  he  supposed  to  handle  this  type  of  situation   .   .   .   ?  But  also  ,  is  it  not  the  very  situation  he's  dreamt  multiple  times  over  ?  Everything  feels  complicated  ,  no  matter  how  many  times  he  runs  it  back  in  his  mind  .  Most  times  ,  all  that  does  it  make  it  worse  .

It's  been  so  long  since  they've  been  this  close  .  Less  than  mere  feet  away  .  And  then  ,  she  invites  him  to  a  moment  more  private  .  He  simply  nods  to  the  previous  question  ,  like  he's  silently  remarking  he's  been  well  enough  ,  well  enough  to  be  here  ,  and  quietly  responds  to  her  invitation  ,   ❛  'Course  .  ❜   Old  habits  born  from  old  friends  .  Perhaps  he  should  take  his  station  a  little  more  seriously  .   ❛  Yes  ,  I  mean  .  I   .   .   .  would  .   ❜   His  shoulders  stiffen  ,  straightening  his  posture  as  nervousness  beholds  him  .  He  looks  around  curiously  ,  expectantly  ,  and  whispers  ,   ❛   When  ?   ❜

༊⋆｡˚                                  upon  finding  out  of  cloud  strifes  knighthood  ,  tifa  had  expressed  her  wish  to  be  present  .  while  it  wasn’t  deemed  royal  protocol  for  the  princess  nor  the  queen  to  attend  such  ceremonies  —-  her  father  reluctantly  agreed  .  what  she  truly  hadn’t  e  x  p  e  c  t  e  d  ,  was  for  him  to  pass  the  batten  &  allow  her  the  honours  .  as  the  formalities  began  and  she  spoke  those  fateful  words  ,  granting  him  his  chivalry  ,  she  bowed  her  head  and  offered  the  sweetest  smile  .  ❛  it’s  been  a  while  .  ❜

her  royal  duties  mustn’t  be  distracted  ,  however  .  placing  the  thin  blade  upon  his  other  shoulder  ,  ❛  arise  .  ❜  ever  gentle  in  her  commands  .  as  her  royal  guard  brought  her  the  velvet  cushion  with  a  medal  attached  ,  she  carefully  reached  up  over  his  head  and  placed  it  around  his  neck  .  ❛  how  have  you  been  ?  ❜  she  spoke  softly  ,  engaging  in  a  small  pleasantry  despite  their  company  .  her  father  was  already  speaking  to  others  as  she  pursed  her  lips  together  once  flashing  a  coy  glance  .  ❛  since  you’re  to  be  excused  from  any  duties  the  rest  of  the  day  ,  would  you  wish  to  join  me  in  the  flower  gardens  ?  ❜

[callmeteor]

good munday to all and the world, i finally got some drafts queued

here is a picture of me getting angry at my phone for beginning a photo countdown that i didnt ask for + a post workout selfie on a day where i was feeling confident :)

welcome to the aster behind the cloud

[callmeteor]

Like  ghosts  ,  they  are  .  Belonging  nowhere  ,  to  no  one  .  No  one  but  themselves  .  Each  other  .  And  it  shows  when  Kira  lets  her  weight  fall  against  him  ,  it  shows  when  she  reveals  the  truth  of  their  lacking  successes  ,  and  it  shows  with  the  gentle  command  to  share  dinner  alongside  her  .  He  cares  about  her  ,  too  ,  always  ,  like  he's  sworn  his  entire  life  to  doing  so  .  To  serve  ,  to  protect  who  doesn't  need  protecting  ,  and  to  ensure  the  safety  in  their  travels  .  It  seems  that  type  of  devotion  is  shared  as  they  slump  against  the  rough  bark  of  the  tree  ,  and  Cloud  cannot  help  but  find  himself  staring  at  the  clouds  that  whisk  through  the  sky  behind  the  leaves  of  outstretched  branches  .  This  journey's  been  perilous   .   .   .   and  like  she  said  ,  he  enjoys  the  company  of  The  Shepherds  ,  but  they're  on  their  own  journey  ,  and  he's  not  so  sure  he  really  feels  at  home  with  them  .  That  being  said  ,  he's  not  so  sure  he  feels  at  home  anywhere  .  He's  not  even  sure  he  can  recall  what  the  sensation  feels  like  ,  but  he  hopes  he  might  learn  in  its  rediscovery  .

❛  You're  right  .   ❜   He  admits  like  he's  not  sure  he  wants  to   .   .   .   but  the  truth  is  undeniable  .  There's  a  frustration  that  eats  at  him  ,  ever  circling  his  thoughts  with  every  failure  ,  with  every  day's  end  that  does  not  bring  about  new  beginnings  ,  and  he  sighs  .   ❛  How're  we  ever  s'posed  to  know  ?  We  don't  have  any  clues  .  We  don't  got  shit  to  follow  ,  ‘n  there’s  no  end  in  sight  to  whatever  journey  we're  on  .  ❜  It's  an  honest  expression  ,  said  with  just  a  tinge  of  frustration  pulling  from  the  monotonous  borderline  dissociation  that  tends  to  possess  his  voice  .  To  him  ,  an  explosion  ,  to  anyone  else  ,  a  simple  display  of  emotion  .

Arms  cross  when  she  lifts  from  him  ,  like  he's  filling  the  void  she's  left  behind  ,  and  eyes  cast  themselves  forward  once  more  ,  focusing  to  the  setting  beyond  . 

❛   Wha'do we  have   .   .   .   ?   ❜ 

‘  I  won’t  carry  your  gear  if  you  collapse  on  the  road  from  hunger  .  ‘  He’s  not  certain  she's  being  honest  ,  but  he  does  know  he'd  carry  her  and  hers  in  a  heartbeat  .  It's  a  sentiment  better  left  in  silence  ,  however  .

it was strange to know that she knew next to nothing about the person she trusted the most. kira knew a myriad of things, both mundane and not, about cloud. his mannerisms around the camp when he lingers in her line of sight, what kind of food he liked, if he rose in the morning earlier than her, the way he moved in battle so that she could cast her spells around the strikes of his blade; but if one were to ask her where they first met, where cloud had grown up or what the names of his parents were, she would have naught to say. kira had thought that the more they traveled together, surely she would begin to remember something about their past and her own, and yet she only finds herself learning more about him while the fog in her mind only grows thicker.

she finds herself in an endless state of frustration, not being able to remember who she was before waking up, which is why she held onto cloud like he was the tether that remained the only hope she had of regaining what they had both lost. she has come to the realization that she did not only want cloud around to keep an eye on him, but she also did not want any harm to befall him.

they have walked from one end of this kingdom to another, yet not a single face had seen them with any hint of familiarity. it was as if there was none in these lands who knew who they were, or were even aware they existed. perhaps they were not from these lands, or they had been inconsequential faces. it was doubtful, given that this is where they had woken up and their abilities in battle did not make them fit the role of a passersby.

❛    the headaches might be the second worst part of it.    ❜  kira mused with sharp humor in her voice, a heavy, and almost frustrated sigh leaving her lips as she slid against the tree until her arm bumped against him. she leaned against cloud in a dramatic display of feigned distraught. ❛    perhaps we're walking the wrong path we need to remember. we've exhausted all other options except to think that we've been journeying down a stray course. i've come to adore the shepherds, don't get me wrong, but we can't be sure going down their way is the one that will help us.    ❜

she nodded, then, relieving him of her weight as she straightened her posture. ❛    eat with me.    ❜ it was not spoken like a question, but the intentions were there. she wanted to see if he was eating well. ❛    i won't carry your gear if you collapse on the road from hunger. join me for dinner.    ❜

[callmeteor]

[ . . . ] LYRIC BASED STARTER CALL . ☞ @rosewiltd

❛  You  know  you  can't  trust  no  one  .  ❜   He  speaks  with  bitterness  on  his  tongue  ,  a  lingering  past  that  looks  of  ruin  and  smells  like  ash  .  A  kingdom  fallen  to  the  traces  of  enemy  domination  ,  and  the  ex  -  prince  still  hasn't  a  clue  as  to  why  .  Only  rage  is  left  behind  .  Rage  and  vengeance  ,  exhaustion  and  grief  . 

He  stands  are  Corinne's  side  ,  now  bound  to  his  sword  and  his  duty  ,  a  protector  ,  a  guard  ,  her  knight  ,  and  considers  it  in  both  of  their  best  interest  to  keep  her  from  wanderers  and  potential  thieves  .  He's  lived  his  entire  adolescence  under  cover  ,  bearing  a  false  identity  ,  completely  awake  to  the  deceit  and  cruelty  of  the  world  ,  and  he'd  not  have  her  be  any  more  victim  to  it  than  she  has  already  .

[callmeteor]

[ . . . ] LYRIC BASED STARTER CALL . ☞ @krosakis

❛  Everything  is  goin'  dark  .  ❜   A  vague  suggestion  after  a  radio  broadcast  announcing  the  further  development  of  the  Starscourge  ,  and  the  lacking  development  in  its  erasure  .  The  days  are  growing  shorter  and  shorter   .   .   .   they're  barely  a  couple  hours  now  ,  and  the  depression  of  Eos  is  growing  hand  -  in  -  hand  with  the  darkness  .  Every  day  ,  he  feels  the  plasmodium  bubbling  within  his  veins  ;  painful  ,  frustrating  ,  intoxicating  ,  some  days  ,  to  the  point  of  delirium  .  He  prays  it  does  not  consume  .  He's  not  sure  how  he's  lasted  this  long  .

Regardless  ,  without  a  hint  of  suffering  ,  he  leans  his  arm  against  his  bike  ,  looking  to  Ichigo  with  a  vague  sense  of  conversation  .  Traveling  hunters  gotta  keep  together  out  here  ,  but  he  doesn't  suppose  he's  the  most  interesting  partner  to  have  .  Better  alive  than  entertaining  ,  though  .  If  nothing  else  ,  he'll  make  damn  sure  they  survive  out  here  .

[callmeteor]

here we go again

[callmeteor]

[ . . . ] LYRIC BASED STARTER CALL . ☞ @sacredflorist

The  world  begins  to  shift  ,  eyes  clouded  with  a  fog  of  unreality  battling  with  the  truth  that  exists  before  him  .  He  stumbles  ,  catching  himself  at  his  knees  ,  unable  to  care  who  sees  him  as  he  braces  for  impact  with  the  ground  ,  but  he  never  meets  it  .  He  blinks  ,  clenching  the  temples  of  his  head  ,  hair  dissheveled  in  his  gripping  fingers  ,  and  stops  his  forward  approach  .  '  It  hurts  ,  '  is  all  he  can  think  .  It  hurts  .  It  hurts  .  Stop  it  .

And  the  haze  begins  to  lift  ,  the  pain  begins  to  dissipate  ,  and  otherworldy  urges  no  longer  threaten  him  .  He  breathes  slowly  ,  eyes  wide  with  fear  and  confusion  ,  before  brushing  it  off  with  a  rather  dismissive  ,   ❛   Jus'  dizzy  .  Let's  keep  moving  .   ❜  If  he  evades  the  concern  forever  ,  he'll  never  have  to  deal  with  it   .   .   .   right  ?

[callmeteor]

"how do you know you have enough strength to protect who matters, when it feels like the universe is trying to stop you at every turn?" a loaded question while recovering from a training session, most certainly - but he's loaded leon with enough of these questions, & lately, aerith has been looking at him in such a way that nearly makes him feel bad for voicing his thoughts to her. perhaps a third opinion would be helpful, too.

  @dawnled

A  loaded  question  ,  indeed     .   .   .   One  he's  not  sure  he  has  an  answer  for  .  Sometimes  ,  the  battle  is  surviving  .  It's  fighting  the  darkness  in  your  heart  and  facing  your  own  defeat  as  your  opponent  at  an  internal  war  that  might  never  know  the  light  of  day  .  An  internal  war  that  might  never  know  an  end  .  He  believes  there's  not  one  ,  but  he  also  believes  there's  a  purpose  to  its  eternal  strife  .  He  leans  upon  a  brick  wall  that  towers  over  them  ,  meeting  his  back  with  his  shadow  ,  and  stares  into  the  sky  with  a  silent  contemplation  .  There's  no  answer  for  awhile  ,  despite  his  appreciation  for  Riku's  confidence  to  press  matters  meaningful  .  There's  no  use  in  masking  your  life  with  a  facade   -   his  growth  has  been  exponential  ,  and  Cloud  is  certain  he  holds  a  fair  amount  of  pride  for  him  .  Admiration  ,  too  ,  perhaps  .  He  could  learn  a  thing  or  two  from  him   .   .   .   There  are  some  parallels  to  their  stories  ,  after  all  .

❛   .   .   .   You  don't  .   ❜   His  answer  sounds  like  the  toll  of  a  funeral  bell  ;  a  life  lived  ,  sacrificed  ,  with  bitterness  ,  remorse  ,  confidence  ,  and  hope  .  His  words  are  strong  in  their  story  forged  in  weakness  ,  and  he  doesn't  need  to  explain  that  for  it  to  be  obvious  enough  . 

❛   It'll  always  try  .   ❜   An  admittance  that  could  very  well  bring  a  bout  of  disappointment  ,  but  isn't  it  better  to  hurt  and  accept  the  future  ,  than  it  is  to  hold  onto  the  past  for  all  dawns  to  come  ?  He's  spent  a  life  lived  like  the  latter  ,  and  he  can  only  desire  that  his  heart  would  reach  the  strength  of  the  former  .  Perhaps  ,  he's  a  man  both  honest  and  false  ,  a  contradiction  of  existence  ,  who  knows  the  truth  of  belief  and  the  light  in  his  heart  ,  but  is  willing  to  accept  the  darkness  .  He  suspects  the  boy  is  not  much  different  .   ❛   You  just  gotta  try  harder  .   ❜

[callmeteor]

the experience of playing ff7og for the first time (that i have memory of) after playing crisis core enough times to have the entire thing memorized is surreal