calvgabriiell

[calvgabriiell]

giving up and giving in:

Re-Splitting a misha because yeah. i pray he isn’t as fucked as the old host?

[calvgabriiell]

List of people my idiots want formed.

1. A fucking partner. -Casio

2. vkei transBJD friend -Marcie

3. a punching bag alter that ISNT adorable - 80% of the system (YALL HAVE ADAM DAMNIT.)

— More that i’m too tired to list.

LIST OF PEOPLE TO SPLIT!!! >_<

1. Crying Child (FnaF)

2. Stim Holder (Any source)

3. Content manager!!! (Any source)

4. Mari or Hero (Omori)

5. [self inflected death] absorber (any source)

6. NH dysphoria handler (ang source)

[calvgabriiell]

LIST OF PEOPLE TO SPLIT!!! >_<

1. Crying Child (FnaF)

2. Stim Holder (Any source)

3. Content manager!!! (Any source)

4. Mari or Hero (Omori)

5. [self inflected death] absorber (any source)

6. NH dysphoria handler (ang source)

[calvgabriiell]

Random little vent :3

I miss parts of me, parts of me i know i can’t get back.

I miss getting to be loveable and soft, i miss being pretty to any degree. I miss existing peacefully and being happy.

I hate fighting urges to just leave and not return just for the sake of starting over again; knowing I’d be taking from more than just myself. I hate it. I really do.

[calvgabriiell]

Andre, Andrea, Oh my darling love. No matter how you’re referred, no matter how you present - to me, you will always be my beloved.

You are so special, so important and so loved. You have made me happier than I have ever felt before — So I beg of you, my darling, don’t break my heart?

I love you. Like the sea loves the shore, Like death loves life. No matter the outcome of any situation, I’ll always be there for you <3

[calvgabriiell]

i love getting to cut more and more for him idk why

[calvgabriiell]

FAGGOT!!<3

you wanna get pounded by me then pound me so bad

[calvgabriiell]

@keepfightingthedark

just waiting for you to realize i meant this blog

[calvgabriiell]

imagine suddenly realizing you have a interest in something. something you thought you hated.

I feel like how ex-antis feel when they realize both them and their s/o are into 1nc3st or some shit. Like wdym I like being forcefully feminized? huh????

[calvgabriiell]

Staring at some idiot and thinking,

“Damn. How could anyone but his mother love him?” and then I remember he bought me flowers and drove to my place after coming home from wrestling practice because I said I was sad. ☹️

[calvgabriiell]

i forgot to eat

help

[calvgabriiell]

i’m going to sleep b4 i fuck shit up 😭

Good night gay people in my phone

[calvgabriiell]

this is how i cope… damn

spam posting so i feel something 🫶

[calvgabriiell]

i want to feel my arm sting and burn and hurt so bad and I just. idk.

I want to dig the blade deeper than I have in years, I want to see the blood gushing nonstop, i want to feel my body go cold and feel myself weaken. i want to lose my vision slowly, just laying here until I finally give way.

[calvgabriiell]

Listening 2 suicidal tendencies while doing school work just bcuz

[calvgabriiell]

The things I do when bored…

[calvgabriiell]

running here to admit my deep dark secrets (everything that turns me on and/or I just really like in a non sexual way but also can carry over into it.)

SFW shit

1: Being called pretty. not pretty boy- just pretty.

2: The thumb thing- Like just rubbing your thumb against my knuckles or cheek will 100% make me melt even if you’re threatening my life.

3: Having my scars kissed!! or them being called pretty as well <3

4: Random waist holding also makes me really happy?? it’s comforting idfk okay

. . . Wip . . .

(I swear i’ll add more sfw stuff soon 😭)

NSFT shit

1: Despite my dysphoria if you call me shit like pretty girl, princess, etc. I will melt in an instant.

2: Having someone else cut me, especially when making eye contact…

3: Power dynamic play but like in the reversed sense? being the one in a position with less power but still being the one to take control—

4: CNC. Nothing to explain that, self explanatory.

(Okay circling back to both no.1’s????? Lowkey having me in an identity crisis bc of them but oh well. i panic any time I start feeling comfortable with the body)