camcoleman

[camcoleman]

"Well, word of advice, you're going to want to really like chocolate," he said at the mention of food. "It makes a lot of things better with this stuff, including the potion."

Ciara felt the feeling reciprocated back to her. Something lifted from her as she realised all the panic and overthinking that she'd been doing, completely out of character of her, over recent situations had all been for nothing. He felt the same way. She didn't like that it took this kind of trauma to do it but she was happy about it nonetheless. She kissed Cam for as long as she could, soaking up every second, before finally pulling away. Gasping for air, she smiled, "I don't know about you but I'm starving," she admitted.

[camcoleman]

Cam shook his head more. "Will she?" he asked. "Because I don't know if I ever forgave the person who did this to me. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself."

"Cam, relax, you need to breathe," Octavia said, taking his hand to get him to stop pulling at his bandages, "It could have happened to anyone. You didn't mean to and Ciara is fine. She will be fine and she will forgive you. Please relax."

[camcoleman]

The Night Agent s02e03: “You’re safe. You’re okay, you’re okay.”

[camcoleman]

Cam nodded lightly in agreement. He wasn't sure if he could, and even if he did, how long it would take. When she kissed him though, he was taken aback for a moment, before finally leaning into the kiss, showing her that he wouldn't abandon her, loving her all the same even when he passed this curse to her.

Ciara nodded, using her thumbs to brush away some of his tears before they could fall, "I promise," she said honestly, "But only if you promise to try and forgive yourself for this, for me. No matter how long it takes, don't let it eat away at you," she continued. Ciara watched his gaze again, searching his eyes for... something. She didn't know what but what she saw spurred her next actions. While she was there, standing so close to him and holding his face, she closed the gap and placed her lips on his. Ciara placed as much feeling as she could in that gentle kiss, all the love and forgiveness she could muster in hopes that he would feel it.

[camcoleman]

His eyes softened, and he finally felt like he could relax a little into her. A part of him was still in survival mode, and he knew it would take a while for him to stop hating himself, stop comparing this to everything his father did to his mother, a realization kicking in. He thought about kissing her, but he wasn't sure exactly what she wanted still. "Okay, just promise me," he swallowed, "promise me that if you resent it one day, that it was too much to forgive, that you'll tell me? I will understand. Don't try and hide any feelings that might come in order to protect me, okay?"

"Stop," Ciara said, trying to keep hold of him when he flinched away. If he really wasn't comfortable, she would never force that on him but she knew that he was struggling with an internal battle, "Look at me," she said softly, tears falling down her own cheeks now, "You are not a monster. You are Cameron Coleman. You are kind and you are loyal and you are a little socially awkward," she moved her hand briefly to wipe away her own tears with a small laugh, "You are my favourite person on this entire planet - yes, that includes my brother - and I love you," she paused, searching his eyes in hopes that she would find understanding or realisation. She had said it now for the second time and this time she didn't hide it behind nearly dying or him being a beast. She shook her head, "This isn't your fault. You told me to run. I didn't. I decided to do something to lock you up rather than risk you following me back to more people. I did this to myself. I would rather be cursed forever than let you live with hurting many more people. You may never forgive yourself for this but there would have been no coming back from what could have happened and I wouldn't forgive myself if I let that happen to you," she explained, "And as for next month, we will both take the potion together and we will go to the Shrieking Shack together and we will get through it together like every other full moon, okay?"

[camcoleman]

Cam couldn't help but flinch from her touch, afraid to hurt her more. "Yeah, but you weren't ever supposed to have to have used it Ciara," Cam said, stressed, his eyes met hers again, tears brimming his eyes. "I hurt you, and maybe it wasn't me, or maybe deep down I'm the monster that everyone was meant to be afraid of. You may forgive me, but how am I supposed to ever forgive myself? I didn't want this for you Ciara." He didn't want it for himself. "I would never want this for someone I love." The last part slipped out, his words stumbling forward unable to be controlled. "And what about a month from now, when you first turn? I not only caused you pain now, but I caused the pain you're going to experience every single full moon. You should be upset with me, and I don't even understand how if you're not, because I never forgave the person who did this to me to begin with, and I hate myself for the fact I gave this curse to someone else, especially you."

Ciara scoffed, "Cam, are you serious? You're my best friend, why would I not want to see you?" she asked, already knowing the answer before she asked. She stepped forward, "Of course, I don't want you to move out. I imagine you don't remember what I said when I locked the door but I already forgive you," she reached up and took his face in her hands so he would look at her, "Cam, I made this choice. The risk of being with you when you shift. I knew what could happen if something went wrong. Why do you think I carry silver and dittany on a full moon?" she paused, "The werewolf is not you, you did not do this to me but if you think you're going to abandon me no, that I will not forgive you for. Do you understand?"

[camcoleman]

Cam had to stay a few days in the hospital, his body still recovering from the full moon. When Ciara came in and spoke, he felt himself stiffen, preparing himself for anything that Ciara could say to him, there was a moment where everything began to shut down in him. His brain going to the worst thoughts of himself, some of which hadn't been around since he got away from his Dad, except this time he really felt like they were true, not just a part of his anxiety. This was his best friend, what kind of monster hurt their best friend.

Cam could barely even look at her. He didn't know how to even begin to forgive himself for what happened, if he ever could. "I wasn't so sure you'd want some from me. Ciara... I..." He looked up, looking at her as confirmation that she was at least alive, that's what he could ask for right now, he didn't deserve anything else. She deserved so much more. This had been the first time didn't even know what to say to her. He was always so sure with Ciara. Sorry didn't even begin to cover it. "If you want me to move out, to stay out of your way. I understand, just say the word and I'll do it. What happened... it's unforgivable, I don't," he choked on his words. "If I could take it all back... I'm sorry." He shook his head, looking back down.

After being released from hospital with "minor injuries", Ciara made her way to see Cam. She was able to keep the whole werewolf thing under wraps with Jordi, healers helping to stop it from getting out in any way for her own sake. When she found herself at his door, she didn't know whether to be angry or upset or just relieved that he was okay. Maybe it was a mix of things. As the door opened, she stepped inside before she could be stopped, "I'm in the hospital and you don't even send me flowers?" she asked, trying to sound lighthearted but sounding a little bit pissed too, "Glad to see you're in one piece."

@camcoleman

[camcoleman]

Cam shook his head. "No, no," he said. "Tav I forgot. I forgot one day and I don't know when. I'm a monster. I'm so stupid, how could I be so stupid? I'm such an dumb irresponsible idiot." Cam anxiously picked at where they bandaged some of his wounds from that night. "How could I do that?"

Tav was at the hospital as soon as she found out Cam was there. She had a bad feeling given what night it was and with her aunt having to work, she promised to stay when she couldn't, "Hey, hey, hey," she said quickly getting out of her seat to stand by the bed and take his hand, "Ciara is fine," she said, "I spoke to the healers and Jordi, she's fine," she paused, "She's alive. That's the important thing. Everything else, you can work out later but she is fine, I promise. What happened with you? The healers said you passed out. Are you okay?"

[camcoleman]

closed starter - cam & octavia ( @octxvixcolemxn )

Cam scrunched his nose lightly when his eyes met the light of the hospital room. His entire body ached, and his memory was fuzzy from the night before.

A full moon, he never felt this way after them unless... then the memories came flooding back. Him changing, the pain, getting locked in the shack and hurting himself... Ciara... Ciara. His world broke. She had been there, and he had been, not him. Maybe it was him at his core, maybe he was a monster. He knew he should've never let himself get close. He looked over, his eyes panicked, all of his emotions flooding his face, seeing his cousin. "Tav..." he said, his voice hoarse. "Please tell me I didn't," he begged, unsure if he even made sense. "Please... please..." He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, but he did, deep down passed the denial, he did. He shook his head, tears running down his face, the pounding in his head amplifying. "Please."

[camcoleman]

When Cam was himself again, he looked around at the destruction in his wake to the room, to himself. He grabbed his bag, half of the items missing, putting on the extra clothes he had brought, stumbling lightly, knowing that he should probably get somewhere to fix some of the scratches he had given himself, blood dripping from them. He opened the door, leaning against it lightly. That's when he saw Ciara, passed out, a slight pool of blood around her. His eyes laid upon the source, the wound was already sealed... had she sealed it herself? "Ciara, no, no, no," he said softly, dropping to his knees. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He checked for a pulse, the lump in his throat gone lightly when he found one. He wasn't sure if he was strong enough to apparate, but he had to at least try. He apparated to St. Mungo's stumbling into the Emergency room. "Help!" he yelled for a healer. "My friend, she's hurt," he said, stumbling again. A healer caught him. "Please help her, please." It was his fault, his fault, his fault. He watched as someone picked up Ciara to put her on a gurney, and then everything went black.

Ciara knew it was a long shot. She was relying on the fact that the beast had not seen her turn right in and would go further into the shack. She only got halfway out the door when she felt the stab of pain in her should, "Filho du puta," she cried out, struggling to get out of the werewolf's grasp. There wasn't a lot she could do in that moment. Or so she thought. She spotted a rock on the floor and managed to grasp it, "I'm sorry, Cam," she whimpered before heaving it back to hit the snout latched onto her. When she was released, she took her chance to slam the door shut and seal the lock with magic as she had done hundreds of times before, "Shit, shit, shit, shit," she muttered, placing a hand on the wound and pulling it back to see her hand covered in red. What could she do? If she called anyone, she risked exposing Cam. If she didn't, she could die.

Looking around, Ciara found her own purse in the snow, abandoned in the chaos. This was always a risk, being bitten. Ciara had done her research before coming out with Cam for the first time. She had been willing to accept those risks in a heartbeat, unable to let her friend go through this alone. Even though Cam was typically good at remembering his potions, she had also come prepared. Silver and dittany would seal the wound. She would be a werewolf but she would be alive. Suddenly feeling dizzy, Ciara leaned against the door, as close as she could get to her friend without being there, "Listen, Cam," she said, her words already slurring from the loss of blood. Was it too late? She started applying the mixture to her wound as best she could despite not being able to see it well, "I know you're never going to forgive yourself for this but I forgive you. It's not your fault. This was always a risk and we both knew it. It'll be... It'll be fine," she whispered, now looking for something to bind the wound with. She tried to rip some of her dress but her coordination was poor, "I don't really know whether you can hear me or you'll remember me saying this but I love you, okay? I love..." she trailed off and everything went black.

[camcoleman]

Cam ran toward the Shrieking Shack, running instead, before Ciara had the chance to get fully out of the door, his teeth latched onto her biting her.

"We're going to make it," Ciara said, not looking at Cam for a moment and feeling hopeful she could lock him up in time. Then came Cameron's scream and she turned to see he was aleady turning. Ciara could have run. Should have run. She should have gone back to the party, back to safety, but there was a risk of luring Cam in his werewolf form there and she knew he would never forgive himself if he hurt so many people. Instead, Ciara ran toward the Skrieking Shack. If she could get him in the building, she could lock him inside, or try to. She just kept running, no idea how far behind her he was and went into the building, stopping right to the side of the door in hopes that the werewolf would run further inside and she could sneak out while he was back was turned. It was the only way.

[camcoleman]

They were so close, they were almost there, but not quite when Cam started to transform. Cameron screamed, his brain struggling to stay aware. "Run," he warned before he fully turned.

"You missed..." Ciara trailed off, gasping a little, "Okay, we run," she agreed, starting to sprint while regretting her choice of shoes for the night, "It's okay. It's not your fault. It will be fine, we can make it," she replied, hoping to hide the panic in her own voice now.

[camcoleman]

"I missed a day, I don't know when, but I did," he said, picking up his pace more. "I'm so sorry, I don't know when I did but I don't want to hurt you."

Ciara's eyes rounded. While Cam's voice was calm, she could sense the panic in his voice. She matched his pace but furrowed her brow, "Cam, what's wrong? I mean, you took your potion, right?" she asked, moving quicker. She was ready to do whatever she needed but she needed to know what was going on.

[camcoleman]

"Definitely," Cam said, sticking his goodies into his bag, trying to find room with the many items he had been throwing in there recently. Moving around some things, his fingers grazed a potion bottle and his heart sank. It can't be... when did he forget? This week has been a blur, he couldn't be sure when he had orgotten to take his potion. "Ciara... I don't want to alarm you, but we're gonna need to run, and I'm going to need you to lock me in there as securely as you can," Cam said, somewhat calm, picking up his step a bit. They didn't have much time left.

Ten minutes later, they had created some goody bags of snacks from the part and were walking down to the shrieking shack, "Just in time," she said with a smile as she popped a small tart into her mouth, "Full moon is nearly at its peak," she gestured up to the sky.

[camcoleman]

"Well, you'll have me and quite possibly an army of 11 to 18 year old orchestra members behind you," Cam said. "If you ever wanted, I'm sure we can arrange some of my most talented students to play in one of your showcases too. If you're into like string playing, and I'm always offering to play for you too."

Octavia smiled, "Absolutely," she agreed, "And who knows? Maybe it will be an Octavia Coleman show, rather than a Gucci one," she added, a hint of hope in her voice, "That's my resolution for 2029. To step away from Gucci and start my own fashion empire."

[camcoleman]

"Let's go then, I'm starving," Cam said. "Don't look at me if I end up getting something that has way too much protein. The cravings are really strong for some reason this month."

Ciara smiled sadly. She had no words of comfort except for what she said next, "And you'll also have me for the rest of your life. I would never let you go through this alone. Ever." She was quite insistent in her tone, making sure he understood just how much the words meant, "Come on, we don't have much time now."

[camcoleman]

THE MAGIC FLUTE (2022)