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Pixie Dust

She didn’t last very long, but her presence lingered.

Hovering above our heads she was the great Wonka Bar, and this was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Divided into a billion, minuscule particles littering the air; you couldn’t see her, but she was there.

She was an airborne toxin, floating in through your nostrils to invade your cerebrum;

you were Donnie, a doomed victim.

With each inhale and without permission, deeper she would seep into your skin like lotion.

Keeping you soft and supple, though all the while penetrating your G U T S.

She would devour you from the inside out, nothing left after exposure but...

A hollow corpse covered in her scent; lone, dusty bones speckled by her prints.

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Tales of an Allstar III

rubbing my shoulder after a long night feeling like my mud splattered, crinkled converses, now falling apart Constantly having to remind myself comparatively this rock bottom’s not hard Fuck my struggles, fore I can see up the boulevard, better times are coming Consistently finding myself running “Irish goodbyes” are becoming my specialty Been catching vicious looks due to my two felonies, undeservingly Funny me, I’m even starting to listen to the bullshit spoken of me No longer buying the poppycock sold by the chick stroking me, my head I mean Fuck, I knew times wouldn’t always be sunny, but I didn’t see this coming Trapped in the gray spell, no Caldwell’s so I’m helpless, this is my SOS, remembering now that I’m not done yet The visions of my adult life left behind by my child mind, I can’t forget I rub my shoulder, picturing how it got like this, and I don’t regret

-CK

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Tales of an Allstar II

I passed the streaks on the floor left behind from before many times over, and left some more The gargoyled rocks if not missed could rock the trucks beneath your tennis, wrecking you, but even still I’d continue Onward into the horizon, by the grace of the penny board I ride on, the empty spaces of my sole, filling those in the honey combed Roof sitting on four green bushes Just a fair warning to you, before you go doing things you usually wouldn’t, potentially foolish Gaining new experiences and shit, broadening your horizons, and expanding your borders, to new worlds and shit All great things, I do daily and encourage but I’m no novice, I hold knowledge Dangers lie wherever you adventure, and on my many atop this plastic, I’ve come across many foes, not all pebbles, all nearly tragic If it wasn’t for my guide, the one who leads each one of my strides I might have died Pessimism will never be a friend of mine only an enemy, they say keep your friends close, but enemies closer, certainly have no others No grey areas here, I try and keep the Sol as near as plausible In her company anything is possible

-CK

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Tales of an Allstar I

Soft rolling over marbles, keeping me from losing mine I found stability just in the knick of time, with a few nicks along the line No tricks I skate for treats only Still on my grind consistently, these are lies I think, that I’m telling myself in a room late at night when I’m staring at the ceiling, lonely A constant state even when surrounded by many I feel this feeling, in company of my family and most friendly Beings and bringers of justice Busted Too fast down liberty, cars backing into, chasing me, Obliterated, everything but my dignity Bloody knees, I feel the sting, it eases me Sun beams, they cook time, they cover me Frosted tips, pointy nips, smeared lipstick, rustic sticks, haunting blimps, dulling scripts, I think that is, the end of it.

Skip track.

Onto the next.

-CK

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Toy Story 2

I was forgotten for a long time, but then I remembered myself I was walking down the aisle petrified, until I remembered the shelf Skipping smooth rocks across rough waters, imagining my life as someone else Polar opposites in close quarters under another's orders for amusement, surprisingly harmonious jest A lot of lost nights, lot of lost cries, lost to the passage of time, a common theft Hand in hand with my motivation to never revisit such times again, hoarse subconscious drenched in gin, pain contained within their memories forgotten with them I've given many pieces of my soul to many thoughtful friends, since turned acquaintances, or hollow companions, and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again, because I never learn my lesson -CK

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Alien Apocalypse

train songs melting into tones of a sci-fi movie I feel myself zoning out to the rhythm of the car moving the breath washing up from the leaves of the trees fogging the glass, by way of my index finger across the surface, your name was scratched etched may make more sense, in this context, more so maybe sketched, like a work of art, which you are, I can’t tell where the heavens end and you begin wheezing winds, rocking the ship, belting incredulous cries at the beauty; blinding, azure light trickling over the blinds, berating ducking between couches to avoid the light beams, scanning every lifeform, expanding across every inch of the room, panicking some did soon, but eventually all succame to the shit to cumb, and we all forgave, each other for the rash decisions we made, without thinking about the impact on our loved ones shrinking into miniature, manufactured versions of ourselves, compiled in a computer system to be shared, mere shells, mere shadows of what was once there, once dwelled, in the space they now occupy no spy, but I keep an eye close ties, loose now, scientific compound sentences and shadows of villains, painting the walls and ceilings, of the caves you dwell in, aligning evil with felon and holy with church, I’ve seen for better or worse, one’s not weiß nor schwarz, there can be light in both same light found in quartz I doth promote, protest, which ever word fits best, that better times are coming, there’s no pacer, no test you’ll find no good in running, these times won’t come any quicker so walk calmly until you arrive, save your breath for when you get there

-CK

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The Fall

Similar to the sensation of a finger prick and like the subsequent blood to flow, the tension between us had never been so thick, the road between us so narrow

A phenomenon as common as a doctor’s visit, but far less hollow You were always quick to lead the way, and I to follow

Instant pain and quick relief, even when you hurt me I felt at ease Knew once I was broken you’d gather each piece just to know you still owned me

Broken fragments of my identity, like a puzzle lying broken beneath the image of itself complete Ironic, that you can see the finished product so clearly, but still not know the path to achieve the entirety of your Humpty Dumpty

It was all a sudden and all at once From that point on, when our eyes would meet or skin would touch, in the room it felt as if we were the only ones

That’s the feeling of the fall, and what it does

-CK Counts

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Focus

I'm forgetting what it felt like to look at you, what it felt like to be with you. My intuition is telling me this admission is the end of it. Maybe we are all just misfits trying to make the best of it. I miss the smell of your toothpaste on your tongue after you were done using it, and spoke to me softly like you never needed me. I wish that I had seen it coming, but unfortunately I engaged without warning, and have been left missing the warm feeling. Maybe it was the best thing that could've happened to me I can now think clearly...

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"The Other Me"

You never get over someone you love, not after you've fallen. You just grow as a person. You pick yourself up. Your own Life Alert. You change as a caterpillar inside a cocoon. You evolve, so where the person you become doesn't share the same attachments as the person you once were.

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NAM

Lost the war at the beginning I only was pretending That I actually was competing I was no competition Won my heart in a few seconds Left me lost with the wreckage of the ship you abandoned Wouldn't take back any of the chances That you gave me to be damaged I loved every minute Dealing with your bullshit I can't stand it, I can't stand it Forgive me, I am dizzy Feels like the room is spinning Whenever you are in it Fuck this teeter-tottering Fuck being codependent Release me from your trap please I'm ready to end this But I will never succeed, because I will never surrender I am no prisoner Fuck being prisoner Not your prisoner of war.

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Fuck Writer's Block

Realizing a mistake after it’s years too late.

You swore you’d never be that adult, buried by regret.

Matter fact, you swore you’d never be that adult. Highly surprised when you made it to nineteen years old. The world, so cold. Unfortunately, you’re never told. Until you’re grown enough to understand the soul. Until you’re mature enough to let go. To understand the meaning of “no” or “to know”. That’s just how the show goes.

It’s so common place. Relays, switching up the pace. You forget, you’re only in a race against time. Unlike humans, time is never kind. So don’t be surprised when your ass falls behind. Don’t lose your mind. Life is barely fun sane.

Barely bearable.

Honestly a miracle

if you keep your smile after highschool. The harsh reality of the merciless world can strip away the imagination like a bandaid from your elbow. Don’t let the glow put in your skin from your soul dim. Never let go. Hold onto that kid within, and stay bold. If you were never bold, stay humble. Forget the kid that mumbles, stumbles, or fumbles. Find your confidence. Stop holding your breath, open your esophagus. Living fucking life in a sarcophagus you must be exhausted.

Inhale and exhale the hell in which you fell. This isn’t my story to tell, but shit I might as well:

Insideous, mischievous, a little delirious. Flow, “ridiculous”. Harry Potter. Could swim like an otter. Never bothered to call back his father, or call back his daughter, because he never bothered, so why bother? He always faltered.

His path seemed determined, why worry about what he wanted to, if everything was certain? Being told what he would do from the ripe age of two. Blue’s Clues without the clues. Poor kid so confused. Mentally and emotionally abused. When given a choice, which do you think he would choose?

Everyday, taken hostage by the system. Distributed corrupted wisdom. Meant to be a clone, intimidated to be your own, or for your natural powers to hone? Blaze a trail, raise hell. They tell you you’re going nowhere. Swell, you’ll bring them there as well. Of course he didn’t stop when he saw the lights on his tail. Fuck going to jail.

Kid never giving up without a fight. Doesn’t matter if the shit lasts all night, or two, or three.

Mr. Smee.

Never doing what he pleased, only what needed to be, but back to me. I didn’t come from a violent family, 《only slightly》 missing a parental with villians trying to attack me. When I would sneeze, yes there’d be a bless me. I came from an educated black woman, made it on her own never doing shit that she shouldn’t. Still paying back her loans, her heart now hard as stone, cold to the bone. Mother only had me, because she didn’t want to be alone. My father wasn’t much different, car salesman, didn’t mind the business. Still doesn’t. Still hoping one day I’d want a husband. Still don’t.

I got used to tough love. Refuse to fear he up above. I don’t judge. All I do is love.

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I'll Be Home for the Holidays

Simple times for the simple minded. For everyone else there is much excitement. A spark inside of everyone, that once ignited Cannot be put out, no matter how hard you try. It’s an energy, a force that will never die.

The Human Spirit.

Many too ignorant, or naive to fear it. Don’t get too near it, It will pull you in, like an orbit, and make you forget, Where you last left your own human spirit.

Your own free will, free soul. Maybe you left it at Goodwill, or maybe you left it with a hoe.

He’s so concerned with the next time he’s getting his dick sucked, He’s completely forgotten about the girl that would do anything to make sure he is well fed and well loved.

Now personally I find it hard to see How any woman of the type could be. How can you possibly Be OK submissively Doing whatever he pleas-es? Pleasing him for no other reason Besides: “I’m a woman, I’m expected to stand by a man’s side”.

Fuck that. What's up with that?

I wasn’t here at the beginning, So I don’t know how it started. But I am currently living, So I know the shit’s not working, and must be stopped.

No problem standing aside the person you love, that’s not what this is about. Women being told they must please a man, and men being told we were put on this earth to serve them, That’s what is getting old and needs to be thrown out.

This same old, same old we’ve become accustomed to, Unstable rules and roles that need attending to. Not to say there aren’t more pressing issues. Like world hunger or the abused kid running out of tissues.

But it’s definitely one which should be dealt with in a timely fashion. Dealt with with a shred of passion. No time for relaxing While black men are being shot again and again. Or while we are constantly blaming the white man, like it’s solely them.

Well, they did do a lot to spread and promote the violence, But everyone else just stands by it. Watching it happen like a TV show, But this is real life though? Not an overdramatized soap.

This drama could not be made up, and it cannot be erased. So why are we tryin’, steady denyin’ what is taking place? Right in front of us? Pitiful stuff. Enough is enough. Now we all need to play tough.

Playwright.

Ha, some people think life is a play. With one man writing away every word we say. Day by day. Every minute we live. Making us feel like the choices he gives we make for ourselves.

Santa’s little elves. And yet you remain so full of yourself. So sure that, because you belong to Santa you are better than everyone else.

Elf on a shelf. Not doing shit. Stuck in somebody else’s magic trick. Without even the title of assistant. Depressed, because everytime an opportunity came knocking you missed it.

Not home to answer the door remember, You were busy answering the phone for Mrs. Claus, washing St. Nick’s drawers.

Pathetic.

You wear that title on you like a necklace. Phiten. But you’re no fighter, already tired, you’re a standbyer. But no “stand by her”. Says she’s not ready to fuck, so you leave without her.

Another chick on your arm, Still claiming you meant no harm. Your cluelessness sets me off like an alarm. You turn me off like a switch with your so called charm.

You’re a little bitch. Clearly I’m a feminist. Calling me one like it’s offensive, shit.

Honestly I’m starting to feel tired, starting to feel drained. Doing the same again and again, Hoping something will change.

I am insane. Who do I blame? Myself for not being tough enough to combat the unforeseen, illogical circumstances to which I was born in. Without warning.

But I’m not about to complain, Kids born with worse and less everyday. It’s a funny thing, fate. You try not to hate, But it’s hard sometimes when you work everyday for what the kid next door gets handed on a silver plate.

They pretend telling you “life isn’t fair” will prepare you enough. You called their bluff. Introducing “Adults”, can’t trust the stuff.

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"The Little Guy, Cocaine, or Gatsby"

Okay, so I’ve only got one question: What’s the goddamn explanation for the sensation that tickles the back of the mind, begging you for your time?

It’s not a thought, more of a hoe. Digging into the soft tissue, a soft blow. White, powdery, Capable of unlocking your capacity For greatness.

I talk about religions and their gods objectively, so some people call me a satanist. Like it’s an insult. What’s insulting is telling me Jesus saves me and I’m not even a Christian. You assume I am, instead of letting me tell you. I am Cam.

I don’t conform, so don’t ask me to. If I ever did it was because, I didn’t know what else to do. Middle school, high school. A fucking fool. Listening to the kids the [school] system called cool. Letting them tell you what to do. Bunch of fucking tools. In the hands of the man, society, or a mainstream diety. And you listen to them. What the hell is wrong with you?

Well the pillow I was crying into could never tell me a thing. The parents I were relying on turns out were lying about everything. About being understanding. When I would wake up from my dreams into reality, I’d go to school with open eyelids but really I was fast asleep. Slowly letting the bullshit sink into my mind, Overtime affecting how I think about life. Real subliminal like.

Look at me getting off track, At least ADHD has always had my back. I’m still wondering what the reason is for the little voice inside your head that tells you you are destined. Then has you question every decision. Incision after incision. Until you’re so deep in your own mind you can’t think straight.

Now you’re gay.

Just fucking with ya. Pissed off, because everytime you get the gun to your head you can’t pull the trigger. Stupid fucking voice keeps telling you that you’re a winner. You’ve got potential, you’re influential, Pivotal. In the lives of many. Fucking voice, fucking witty, has you sitting pretty.

Dum dum di dum, now that was iconic. Fi fye foe fum, don’t bring back magic beans. That was ironic. This shit I write about, needless to say I don’t know how I provide it. Start feeling unproductive So I start writing. Blows my mind when I see what’s hiding.

Between the folds in my brain matter. Oh look, it’s the little prick that told me I didn’t matter. Funny how that shit sticks. Like a tick, never quits Until it gets what it came to get. No telling what that is. Your creativity, your confidence, or your common sense.

Common cents.

Knowing the “little guy” he’s probably greedy. Now I’m just being silly. Better silly than Sirius. Poor guy ended up dying in a mirror, tell anyone you saw that and they’d call you demented.

When I said I would change lives, I meant it. Even if it’s just one, it’s someone. Someone who might be holding that gun. Lost and afraid. Wondering why everyone else seems to have it made. Wrought with dismay. Chasing after better days, Searching for a better place. Tired from the race– to the finish. Panicking over a blemish. The immature, vacant ideas of your peers you allow to diminish,

Your energy, your inner beauty, your free spirit. Never fear it. Allow love near it. Pay attention, allow yourself to hear it. Always listen.

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Teletubbies

Staring up at the ceiling Wondering, “Am I really the villian in my short story?” Bob told me not to worry, but I’m doing the opposite. My life is in a hurry, but I’m struggling to follow it. I can tell by my writings that, I’m struggling to focus on the positives. The funny thing is, I’m supposed to be an optimist and be the most positive.

You think they are happy all the time, Sometimes The smile is lying, but like Robin, they keep most of that shit inside and, I really miss that man. Really look up to him. The star of my favorite movie, my favorite actor, Andy the Man, Bicentennial.

Yes he can, Could, and yes we should Do everything in our power to bring good to others and make proud the “mothers” who brought us about. Make proud the Inner Child whose dreams sometimes fade out, Due to the sound of the nagging adult being forced down our throat.

Bellows of smoke Covering me like a cloak, Deathly Hallow. My physical body, invisible. Mind metamorphosing into it’s own Individual.

Speaking with no filter, Unlike the Camels in my flannel Pocket, watch, out The cops are coming and this time they aren’t stopping without the identities of every man, woman, and child.

No matter what race, Gone without a trace. Lost to space.

Have we so forgotten who we are, That the very things we’re dying for we’ve allowed to be what we lose at the end of this war?

Freedom, peace These two things will cease To be. Not that there isn’t already a vacancy in these positions, but we are talking utter extinction.

If I had known this would be the situation I might have reconsidered coming into existence. Shown some resistance. But then I would never have the chance to bring “Into Existence” into existence. Inception. That Leonardo is some man, Would be an actual dream if I directed a film staring him.

Altered my life’s direction based off of a whim. I don’t drink skim, Give me the whole experience. I’ll risk everything to follow my intuition, If the resulting conclusion is my purpose coming to fruition.

No bad intentions, only want smiles on the faces of my fellow man. Instead of the look of defeat, (For which) So many seek. The only thing they leave is the havoc they wreak.

Perched at the peak, but you can’t see beyond your own feet. How could you possibly speak for the people of this country?

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Dharma Initiative

One day I hope the good deeds come back to feed me and my family, Whoever they may be.

Living in a false reality, With false vitality. We are the propaganda used against us, deployed by society. It’s a fucked up irony. Within you the capacity to transmigrate out of that desolate galaxy.

Sometimes it feels like my hands are tied, but I’m holding the knife. Just have to figure out the right hold, how to hold it right. To cut myself free in enough time to complete what I need to, when I don’t know what to do I move on until I know what’s the best move.

Forget the rest and lay it to rest. Treat the present as it is, a gift. You were no present which is why the past is where you were left. With you a part of myself, Happy to meet death and lucky to miss out on the aftermath of a journey down a treacherous path.

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Mystery Inc.

In a future time, you are dead.

You’re only alive Until that time arrives, So why not strive For all the crazy whims that reside in your head?

They make themselves known when you go to bed, And drift away into a world of unlimited possibilites. Unlimited, untapped abilities. A world of tranquility.

When you let your inner child die, That is when you begin to live a lie. Denying what’s inside That does not abide By the laws society has set aside.

The lies of the Man.

That persuades the part of you that fears failure and disappointment, To believe money was more important than the passions that helped you out of bed in the morning.

Another poor human, Lost to the Man’s delusions. Irony is a bitch, and life is confusing.

Manipulated into thinking You weren’t doing what you should be doing.

Left feeling like Velma searching for her glasses in a dark room. No one to help you, 

alone with no light.

Deluded into thinking you weren’t living right, unless you gave your life To a career that had you wishing you were dead by the end of the night.

A journey, you chose to begin one day. Tucked in bed beside the decisions you made. The pieces of yourself that you gave up on the way,

Haunting you from the grave.

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Extraterrestrials

I heard their voices and saw their faces. Never suspected someone had traded places.

But they had.

It was weeks before my suspisions were sparked. Weeks before I could tell my real family and them apart.

Once I figured it out I had to play dumb. Had to go numb. If I showed too much emotion Or too little They might rebutle With actions of murder.

I had to be subtle, With my wisdom. Had to conform.

Some things you swore you’d never do, end up being the very things that must be done,

To avoid extinction.