captain---rabbit

[captain---rabbit]

oh man i’ve heard some mighty fine shit about that one

I AM GROOT! I am Groot? *DAD! Can we go to the movies next month?*

YES WE CAN SON SORRY SHNSDLF– 

what the hell’s playin?

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot? *Dad, can we please get Mr. Cooper to direct our next movie?*

damn son i never knew i could sing!

also yell hea where is this guy i want him

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot! (Empties out piggy bank.)

oh HECK-- boy i’m behind but hhh a worthwhile investment

[captain---rabbit]

I AM GROOT! I am Groot? *DAD! Can we go to the movies next month?*

YES WE CAN SON SORRY SHNSDLF-- 

what the hell’s playin?

[captain---rabbit]

dear diary,

fucks sake i finally remembered the password for this thing

so today quill made us celebrate this earth holiday called christmas. he used the lasers on my guns to make some shit called ‘christmas lights’ and made groot grow out his limbs and grow leaves even so he could hang these stupid things called baubles off em. then he made some star out of one of gamora’s jackets and called him a ‘christmas tree’.

he then proceeded to pick up fast food from xandar and we sat on the ship eating it while listening to some shitty christmas or whatever mixtape it’s so corny i don’t understand why i enjoyed it

they say christmas is supposed to be spent with family and it was weird ig since i never really had much of a family but at the same time miss me with that mushy shit but it was actually kinda nice? even though drax was making all these stupid jokes it was nice to have this holiday where you appreciate what you got

apparently tomorrow’s boxing day. can’t wait to steal as much shit as i can from the stores and now quill’s telling me that’s illegal what the fuck

[on a side note, i’m back! thanks for your patience! ;;;]

[captain---rabbit]

i’m sorry

[heya, everyone, mun here.

sorry i’ve been as inactive as it gets. i’ve been busy with school as of late, and my mental health’s been a trainwreck lately. so i’m gonna put this blog on temporary hiatus.

please trust me when i say rocket’ll be back soon with more galactic escapades to tell all of y’all about, and he’s looking forward to answering your questions with snarky remarks of his own.

i just need a little bit of time to make sure i’m able to bring him to life in the best way i can. sorry, and thanks for reading through this.]

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot? *Dad?* (Opens Rocket’s bedroom door to see that he’s fast asleep.) I am Groot? (Gets closer to Rocket as he sleeps.) *Dad?* (Hovers uncomfortably over Rocket’s personal space, whispers.) I am Groot? *Dad?*

groot- god, you’re up in my face. what’s up?

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot?

what’s up, son?

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot! *Dad, look! I found your Halloween costume for this year! What ya think?*

NO.

[captain---rabbit]

I am GrooOOoot!!!!! *Dad, look!*

aw, that’s your new friend, huh? i’d like to get a closer look at those weapons of hers!

[captain---rabbit]

I AM GROOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DAD, LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

[captain---rabbit]

(Comes home after a long day at Xandar Academy for Gifted and Exceptional Students.) I AM GROOT! (Throws bookbag down.) *DAD! I GOT A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION TO ASK YOU!*

HSDKFKSD SORRY IM LATE WHAT IS IT SON

[captain---rabbit]

IM SORRY I HAD A REASON FOR BEING AWAY I SWEAR

the reason being that quill fucking smashed my phone to bits and groot’s hogging the laptop so i only just got back on

[captain---rabbit]

i’m back

dear diary,

today drax tried to hit me. i was piloting the ship and he tried to slap my bicep but groot swatted him and now they’re yelling and it’s hilarious

[captain---rabbit]

so who’s this bradley cooper guy and why does everyone tell me i sound so much like him

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot… *This is gonna go viral soooooo fast…*

[captain---rabbit]

I am Groot? *Hey, Dad, how fun was it getting twirled by Uncle Thor in the pod?*

… i tolerated it, ‘cause he’s thor.