captain4peeps

[captain4peeps]

This is why Mariah needed to retain.

Everyone is so small-minded.. Let’s start looking for Women over 40 🤤 I am accepting applications for MILFS OVER 40!!

[captain4peeps]

taste, wealth, stamina, listens to sabrina carpenter, I’m checking all the right boxes.

Sabrina was right. Turns out forks really are fucking everywhere.

[captain4peeps]

my intention wasn’t to play him as a constant flirt buuuutt… here we are.

[captain4peeps]

you work tuesdays, i work wednesdays. I’d say Thursday through Sunday at any time of your leisure.

if you’re hot, older, and have something decent to offer, please form an orderly line to be judged by me and mariah.

[captain4peeps]

[captain4peeps]

Also, @feelingrestored , you’re not upset with adam cole. you’re upset with your father.

[captain4peeps]

champagne, intellectual conversation, dim lighting, sarcasm, making fun of deadbeat fathers, followed by bending someone over the dinner table under an expensive chandelier. nothing too crazy.

flags are all green but I’ll be sure to list references because of course i wouldn’t see any of my own flags as red.

if you’re hot, older, and have something decent to offer, please form an orderly line to be judged by me and mariah.

[captain4peeps]

@ / Jennifer Love Hewitt

Everyone is so small-minded.. Let’s start looking for Women over 40 🤤 I am accepting applications for MILFS OVER 40!!

[captain4peeps]

enters the chat.

judge away.

if you’re hot, older, and have something decent to offer, please form an orderly line to be judged by me and mariah.

[captain4peeps]

in this economy, you have to.

Sabrina was right. Turns out forks really are fucking everywhere.

[captain4peeps]

Sabrina was right. Turns out forks really are fucking everywhere.

[captain4peeps]

i accidentally showed some weakness earlier today it was disgusting i would not recommend it 

[captain4peeps]

turtlenecks and parent teacher conferences

turtlenecks are comfy. parent teacher conferences are the worst that’s why my ex goes to those and not me.

[captain4peeps]

Dead dad hunting + your type is blondes.

dead dad hunting 😊😊😊 someone who gets it. i used to have a type now my type is just whom I deem worthy

[captain4peeps]

Therapy and delusion.

That’s absurd. I’ve never needed therapy.

[captain4peeps]

ballpoint pens + fresh laundry smell - 🎞️

valid. the most accurate.

[captain4peeps]

Everyone is just in so high demand nowadays… I’ll be making a phone call to see if this can happen though. No one ask me anything for Christmas, this is the gift.

What’s the over/under of me growing out the long hair again? Would it totally reek of awesomeness or do you think it’s past its prime?