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February 19, 2013

I’m not sure what to write exactly. I continue to ask for help, for clues, for answers and all I get each time is more confused. I dreamed that I somehow ended up in an alternate reality, more like a parallel universe, but only I could remember getting there or that things were different. 

I was in London on this Earth and as I walked down the street I came upon a fortune teller. I gave her twenty dollars to tell me my fortune, thinking she’d read my palm, but instead used playing cards for tarot. She threw three cards out into the street landing them in a manner that looked like the profile of a man. She asked if I saw anyone in these cards and I said no one in particular. I got a little frustrated when she read the faces of the cards wrong. She had thrown down an 18 of diamonds for example, and called it a 4. I told her she should quit because I could do better, and took her cards from her. 

As she walked away a little miffed, but mostly curious, she snapped her fingers and this blue-purple coin appeared in her hand. She was tall, blonde, beautiful and watched me draw in a crowd. 

That’s all I remember.

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February 8, 2013

There was a party at my parent’s house and the whole family was there. I was on the front lawn with Grandma; she chided me for swearing. There were little trinkets and such scattered about the grass, little party favors. I was sitting there investigating mildly what there were when this elegant bald eagle flew overhead and dropped some things in my lap, only for me. There was shampoo and a handkerchief and other items of non-consequence, but there were all gold in color. As I was looking at these I noticed this flash of blue, looked up and off in the distance (the old power line pole that used to be by the old school bus stop) was a blue heron.

I drew Grandma’s attention to it because of how pretty it was, and that’s when it crashed. It walked through to the front yard and I realized it was a woman dressed in a flying suit. I asked if her contraption really worked and she said yes, it was just in need of some fixing today. She took off again and Grandma and I went back inside. 

There was another house behind a brick building painted in navy blue with white trim. An old lady (think Grandma Death) lived there. She was always there with quick words of wisdom, and her house was safe. I had a vision of the heron woman making another suit and using it against me; she became a deep violet Minotaur. 

Her labyrinth constructed beneath the navy house, I was sucked into its hell hole. Before entering, I wrapped myself in a gold toga and was given a golden bow and arrows from the same bald eagle. I entered the labyrinth and set out from there, noticing the Minotaur wasn’t the only foe of mine. All of Athena’s monsters were there to slow me down and notify the Minotaur of my location. One of the female monsters found me early on and bit me, drugging me. She had red eyes and shimmering blue scales that travelled around her face, scales that characterized the bite mark on my neck. She called for her master, and he came.

Though in my vision it was a woman wearing the suit of the Minotaur, in reality she controlled the man within. He came to me, telling me how pathetic I was at only making it this far. He took off the mask and told me of my beauty, how it was a shame it was wasted on good. He kissed me, took my mouth captive and claimed me for his own. The haze of the drug lifted, but I kissed him back just as hard. It was the influence of the drug, but no cloud over my mind to mask what I was doing or separate it from myself. He broke away and laughed at my roughness, my eagerness and guided me further into the labyrinth, taking care to draw my attention to my captors. 

Screaming in my head to break the spell, he led me through effortlessly. We reached a particular dead end where he kissed me again and left, leaving me to my own devices until the drug wore off. When it finally did, I took off in what I hoped was the right direction, bow and arrow at the ready. I found a peculiarly open portion of the maze and hid just in time for the patrols to come marching through. The Minotaur yelled at his subordinates to find me while they scattered in different directions. When I saw my opportunity, I bolted for my next cover, taking out one demon who raised the alarm with just enough time for me to hide. 

As the Minotaur left, I tried to climb over a shorter wall, only to fall into one of the oubliettes. The maze shifted, and the bull-man laughed at me for trying to cheat, while the blue-scaled witch cackled about the dragon vomit (apparently something similar to lava) I was about to fall into. The Minotaur pulled me up and realizing I had no weapons, I asked to repay him with a kiss, saying I didn’t need to be drugged to desire the taste of evil. He took his mask off and I grabbed him as forcefully as he grabbed me before. Our tongues tangled in the drug of each other as I knotted my fingers in his hair and yanked sideways, breaking his neck. The demons screamed and raged, swarmed me desiring revenge for their master’s death, and that’s when I woke up. 

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January 29, 2013, later

A white tigress, a black cat, and a beautiful man

The family was in the car driving towards Wenatchee and Leavenworth when we got to the Aplets and Cotlets town and all of a sudden a snow white tiger was running down the highway in front of us. I asked Dad to pull over so I could help her, and he said he had to use the bathroom anyway, so we found a rest area. 

The tiger was following us since Dad saved her from being hit until a guy with a shotgun coaxed her towards the train tracks, just as a train was coming. I told her to run as she cleared the tracks just in time. She ran up towards a club for he owners of the mining or construction company in town as we got back in the car and left. 

We got to Wenatchee and went to a book store. There were two books in a series of interest to me, and both of them had to do with a family with a dark history who owned most of Cashmere. They had a weekly poker game where the winner got to poach the white tiger. I took off in a stolen car back towards the town and up to the club in the most expensive, revealing gown I could find. I walked into an old barn filled with bad cigar smoke and fat assholes drinking cheap scotch. Never drink cheap scotch, and never smoke bad cigars. 

I walked into this boys’ club with a Glock on my right thigh and they all stared as I sat where I could watch the game. The oldest man there, obviously the owner of the barn, offered me one of their finest pear desserts. I thanked him and asked if I might see tonight’s prize. He took me to the tigress and I looked into her eyes as she let out a low growl, but somehow seemed to understand I was her savior. I met one of the other women there who didn’t belong to any of the men, either. We knew we were on the same side.

The hours passed. The smoke clouded thickly on my hair as I sat on the lap of the owner. The game drew to a close as only six men remained. I gave the other woman a look and we both drew our guns. The man laughed and signaled his guards, but only one came since they’d previously been taken out. That’s when all hell broke loose. She shot the guard as I shot the owner. My gun jammed and I had to take out the rest hand-to-hand. Not too difficult considering how old and lazy they all were. I was about to take out the son of one of the men when the woman told me he was on our side. He had a black cat in his arms that took to me immediately. I cut the lock off the cage and released the tiger. She had an injured foot so we helped get her out before the cavalry could come. 

We drove to the son’s apartment where the woman left us. Her work was done. We went up to his penthouse with the two felines and sat in the dark while the black cat cuddled against me. He got the tigress water and she drank meekly. She was hurt. The black cat jumped from my lap, drank some water and cleaned the wound. After the tiger stopped bleeding she lifted her head towards me. I walked over to her slowly, not sure what to think, then sat in front of her. She lifted her eyes and nodded, leaning into my hand as I pet her head. The son looked at me like I was crazy, but with a hint of admiration. The black cat also came and sat with me by the tiger, begging for a pet. I looked at the son, noticing his beautiful eyes and dark hair, suddenly aware of how torn my dress was. He sat close to me, watching the cats who claimed me, who understood I would protect them, and they me. 

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January 29, 2013, early morning

I had several important dreams that I remembered. 

The first, my mom told me to watch American Horror Story: Asylum which was strange since she’d never watch it herself. The show in my dream was very Hitchcock-themed, even including The Birds. 

I had this crow, and it was singing to me while eating, and I kept waiting for it to peck me, but I knew that it wouldn’t because I am Cassandra, and I’m cursed just like they are. 

I had another dream about Cassie Sandsmark. I was her and sometimes I wasn’t. While I was at home I woke up remembering a dream that I thought was nothing, until later on the dream started to come true (in the real dream). I told my parents and my mom almost hospitalized me she was so afraid. My dad was supportive, and Gabby was glad I saved her life. What happened was we were on a family picnic when I noticed a skeleton in ragged Japanese samurai clothes charge Gabby from the graveyard. That’s when Wonder Girl came in and fought the skeleton with Katana’s soul sword. The soul sword consumed the skeleton, but not before he grabbed Cassie and sucked her in, too. 

Moments later she was spat back out with Connor and Tim and a blue-hooded monk who said she had something tying her to this ream so could not exist in the soul sword. Connor and Tim were saved because of her love for them, and this whole time I was Cassie. Occasionally I watched from third person, but I was her and when the monk left, my parents were in shock. Gabby hugged me, and I recounted how I saw all of this happening because I dreamed it. That’s when all hell broke loose.

My mom didn’t want a daughter like this, and I told her it was a gift, I never had a choice and if I could accept it, so could she. My dad was stunned, but stood by me and calmed Mom down. He said something about how they hadn’t lost me to Mom, but I don’t know what that means. This same dream occurred several times with slight variations each time causing me to question everything, but the “right” things always happened. 

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January 27, 2013

Another dream involving getting lost while driving and ending up needing to drive my little red Corvette on the beach, but it wasn’t a normal beach. It reminded me of the shores of the Columbia near the Ranch, with it’s moss-covered clay and mountains on all sides. 

I was also at this place that looked a lot like SCC with its concrete buildings and general apathy towards aesthetics. Uncle Tom was there and the rest of the family, too, but there was this oddly strict religious overtone to everything in a family who rarely attends church. There was a Lord of the Rings moment where I had to grab this little gold ring off the very wobbly end of a dock covered in snow. The dock could only support me briefly before it broke and thrust me into the icy black water. I survived and retrieved the ring. 

There was a man and little boy telling me what to do next. The boy had a necklace like mine, so I asked him what his said in Latin, but he shrugged. The man answered that it had something to do with the fate of humanity. I wish I could remember, it was a dark prophecy, but not crystal clear.

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January 22, 2013

“I don’t get it, you had me dead-to-rights.”

The lake, all the floating red things that clouded the water. Tubing, wakeboarding, the casino/car dealership, the owner hitting on me. Defying athletic expectations... All very strange and “Flash”-y. Funny, it was the Flash who said the dead-to-rights thing. 

There was also high school, getting fucked on a test I had to take, but not pass.

Later - 

I should’ve written this when I woke up but oh well. Anyway, after the previous dream, I feel back asleep and dreamed I was talking to Melissa. We were discussing the boy that went missing at U of I Saturday night. I was positive they’d found him alive while Melissa kept telling me he was already found dead. Erin and Megan both texted me regarding the U of I kid being found dead, but another son went missing on Saturday night from Boise. He was also found last night, but alive. 

Unrelated, I kept waking up last nigth from hearing noises (the water rushing has been perpetual these past few nights, but I somehow don’t think it’s actually water). The noise that concerned me most was being woken from a dream to the sound of my door knob being turned. I thought it was a dream remnant so I ignored it, but when I woke up, the knob had been turned so the latch was stuck inside and my door was barely cracked. 

I’m not comfortable with this...

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January 20, 2013

Aliens. Why fucking aliens? Malicious blob, disgusting aliens...

What happened to sex with Prince? In the shower?! 

It just had to be motherfucking aliens!

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January 14, 2013

Dreams are a bit fuzzy, I mostly remember being a Titan for a bit, and then becoming part of a gang? It’s all lost. There were three men, me and some cars. They thought they owned me. The postman came to the door and I was in bed at my parents’, though they weren’t there anymore. It was a Sunday, still he knocked and knocked. I decided to see if it was safe to answer, and he gave me the mail with three bags of M&Ms. He mentioned something about the fountain, which faced the house instead of the street. He left and then the boys showed up in a red Jeep Cherokee. One came in for sex and I told him to fuck off since I was on my period. He just figured I had other holes. That’s when my shoes fell in my room and I woke up. There were bits of underground stuff and darkness and damp and weird shit I really can’t remember.

Oh and my teeth fell out in a dream a couple nights ago, my three back left molars. (Lots of repeating threes?) Mom, Grandma and I were at the cabin making dinner when it happened and I freaked out. I asked Mom for some milk and a ride to the dentist, but other than that there wasn’t much to remember. I hate that things are so fuzzy here. What is it about Pullman? Lines are getting twisted and crossing and there’s so much interference and so much darkness here. I wish I actually knew the tools I had to fight it, but it seems I’m not meant to except in extreme situations. I have no “low profile” left to speak of so I don’t understand what is going on. Then again, most just avoid me, don’t want to try and take me on. I wish I could understand that more. All in due time, I suppose.

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January 13, 2013

I’ve had this dream before, I know it. It starts out as a shopping trip to the grocery store, but soon the Joker decides to terrorize the place and shows up. He’s only interested in me. Everyone else is simply a pawn in his game to make me comply with him. He injures me for fighting him, but doesn’t hurt anyone else. I run from him, try to hide, but eventually he finds me. He says if I want to save these people, I need to follow this map and do what I’m told. The map leads me to a door with countless smiling faces behind it, but it’s too late. I’ve already opened the door... The Joker’s men come in the back door and start distributing these pain killer tablets of a lethal dose. I don’t want one, but it’s shoved in my mouth anyway. I run to the dark part of the store hoping to puke up the drug before someone finds me “rejecting the Joker’s love for me.” 

Eventually one of his men finds me and is about to punish me for what I’ve done, but I offer sex to him and he agrees to it. He’s dry humping me, so I start taking my clothes off. I’m terrified of being raped, but it was the only way I could think to save myself. I stall him long enough until the Joker finds us and shoots him in the head. “We’re not rapists,” he side-eyed me. “I’m sorry pretty baby, I only ever wanted us to be happy together. Why do you reject my love for you so?”

Then Poison Ivy comes into the store and cures me of the poison in me, so I’d forgive the Joker and stop this slaughter. I go to him and accept him while I stab him in the back, severing his spinal cord. He is evil incarnate, and he disappears in a cloud of sickly green smoke. Poison Ivy asks me what I’ll do now, knowing I can’t hide from him. “Let him come,” I reply. “When I see him again, I’ll be ready.”

She nods her head and leaves, as I help the only customers still alive out of the store, a mother and her son, and an older gentleman. One of the Joker’s men comes to me and gives me his allegiance for finally taking the bastard down. He joined my team and we helped make an antidote for the poisons the boy ingested. We travelled, looking for any stories/legends/possibilities that could kill the devil. Every once in a while I’d see him out of the corner of my eye, watching me, willing me to join him, but I couldn’t. I was no longer attracted to the darkness, it disgusted me.

My guard and I ended up in a beach village somewhere and found the house of a man, a detective who could help us. He’d left already, but the assassin sent to kill him was still there and my guard took him out with an axe to the knee. We found what we were looking for and left town on a bus. That was when he found me. Only I knew he was there, but I was ready and I killed him. There was collateral damage, but the bastard was no more. My guard and I went home, and found the detective waiting for us. He said Joker would be back, he would always come back. All we could do was prepare for our next strike. 

The days passed until I heard a knock at the door. I told them to enter, but they tried the handle and it was locked. They didn’t say anything, but knocked again, and as I reached for the handle, I woke up. 

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January 11, 2013

I know I had a dream, I remembered it an hour and a half ago...then again Pullman time is mid-morning for everything, while Spokane time is early morning. I wonder what that has to do with anything...I’ll try going back to sleep to test this theory and write later.

Same day, later

I vaguely remembered some parts of my dream. It was about how I couldn’t leave to fall in love or get married because I found my post and the protection of the young depended on my never leaving it. No amount of the sweetest temptation will change my mind, or take me away from my duty. I know who I am, I know what needs to be done, and I know I will not fail to do it. I am what stands between the darkness and the light of humanity it wishes to feed on. Nothing will keep me from truth, strength, and justice to do what is right.

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January 10, 2013

My jaw is sore...odd. I remember Jack and arguing with him all the time. He was angry that I’d blocked him, I was angry he was reblogging stuff all over my tumblr. I remember swimming from goats in black water with the sun shining. Being on a boat with my dad and sisters. I think I’m too tired to have real dreams right now... The road, with the bridge and the little town I’ve all seen before. That I’ve dreamed of before, I know it. Why would I dream of it again? It’s the highway and the bridge, similar to home but nothing like it...it’s just familiarity. I can’t remember, but I don’t think I was driving. What is with my memory lately? In Spokane I was fine, but in Pullman I’m fragmented. I think it’s time to center myself.

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This isn’t where I begin, but the story does

January 4, 2013

Last night, I dreamed of the Wonder Girls: Diana, Donna and Cassie. Sometimes I was Cassie, others I watched her outside of myself. All are blessed with the power of the gods, according to comic book mythology. I’m not sure what to think. There was a birthday party as well, but for whom I don’t remember. I do remember there was a man, a man who made it no secret he desired me nor was he crass about it. He, however, left much to be desired. 

I was Cassie in the arc of bringing Jericho back...hell if I know.