cataclysmicregret

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&. 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  we  love  angst  on  this  blog,  what  can  we  say.  here’s  some  more  dialogue  prompts  for  you.  a  warning  for  potentially  triggering  themes  below.  )

❛ everything you touch, you ruin. ❜

❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜

❛ you can’t make me disappear. ❜

❛ memories are only there to make you bleed. ❜

❛ i don’t need your permission. ❜

❛ don’t shut me out like this. ❜

❛ the less you know, the better. ❜

❛ i won’t stop killing until you kill me. ❜

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ you think i felt something for you? you’ve forgotten what i am. ❜

❛ the last time we talked, didn’t you say you wanted to kill me? ❜

❛ i felt something loosen in me that shouldn’t have been loosened. ❜

❛ pull yourself together. we have work to do. ❜

❛ stay back, i have a demon inside of me. ❜

❛ let me get closer, i have a hell inside of me where your demon can live. ❜

❛ people like that don’t deserve to live. ❜

❛ just do what you’re told. like you always do. ❜

❛ why do you have to make everyone hate you? ❜

❛ it’s better that you don’t get involved. ❜

❛ i’d do anything to make you stay. ❜

❛ who cares if it bleeds. ❜

❛ is this what you think love is? ❜

❛ just breathe through it. it gets easier. ❜

❛ don’t pretend that you cared about me. ❜

❛ i’m starting to think you like wasting my time. ❜

❛ we wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me. ❜

❛ i will never, ever, give you a moment’s peace. ❜

❛ the world doesn’t hate us. but it doesn’t love us either. ❜

❛ it hurts that you still can’t trust me after all this time. ❜

❛ a darkness with voices is better than a silent void. ❜

❛ it’s safer to be feared, than loved. ❜

❛ am i not good enough for you? ❜

❛ a burnt child loves the fire. ❜

❛ i’m tired of dying. ❜

❛ what if you hurt because it feels good? ❜

❛ don’t try to fix me, i’m not broken. ❜

❛ if you want me to die, you can just say so. ❜

❛ you don’t have to be afraid of who you are. ❜

❛ that line disappears once you cross it. ❜

❛ how can i believe you after all you’ve done? ❜

❛ i won’t let you forget about me. ❜

❛ the person you once knew me as, died. ❜

❛ are you going to leave me again? ❜

❛ i have nothing i could offer you. ❜

❛ no one is going to save you. no one can. ❜

❛ maybe you’re / i’m already dead. ❜ 

❛ you have blood on your hands. ❜

❛ what, can’t take a punch? ❜

❛ i’m your mind giving you someone to talk to. ❜

❛ you have to step out of this darkness and let them see you for who you are, like i have. ❜

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quotes that broke me starters

feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.

❛   i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one.  ❜  

❛   if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places.  ❜  

❛  no one heard our screams for a long time.  ❜  

❛   i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers.  ❜  

❛   there is a home for every departed thing.  ❜  

❛   it reminded me that i will never truly know you.  ❜  

❛   i also buried a part of myself alongside them.  ❜  

❛   after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral.  ❜  

❛   you don’t have to be awake to cry.  ❜  

❛   forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do.  ❜  

❛   the human eye is the loneliest creation of all.  ❜  

❛   fairness is for happy people.  ❜  

❛   the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed.  ❜  

❛   perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone.  ❜  

❛   you stain the pages with yourself.  ❜  

❛   tears will not wash away the sorrow.  ❜  

❛   beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off.  ❜  

❛    who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?  ❜  

❛   i have scars on my hands from touching certain people  ❜  

❛   despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart.  ❜  

❛   you tried to change, didn’t you?  ❜

❛   you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that.  ❜  

❛   i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them.  ❜  

❛   we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace.  ❜  

❛   i didn’t leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself.  ❜  

❛   at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss.  ❜  

❛   there are too many sad eyes on happy faces.  ❜  

❛   it’s strange, i felt less lonely when i didn’t know you.  ❜  

❛   things change, friends leave. life doesn’t stop for anybody.  ❜  

❛   it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all.  ❜  

❛   i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short.  ❜  

❛   i felt your absence.  ❜  

❛   what do we do now, now that we are happy?  ❜  

❛    you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you?  ❜  

❛   don’t stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him.  ❜  

❛    i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning.  ❜  

❛   i dont have a single friend - not one.  ❜  

❛   i’ve had more than enough pain in my life, what’s a little more going to do?  ❜  

❛    it would have been you if i met you first.  ❜  

❛    i really thought he was going to be my forever.  ❜  

❛    maybe in the next life it would work.  ❜  

❛   in spite of everything, you’re still you.  ❜  

❛   the dead have it easy.  ❜  

❛   there’s an ocean of silence between us, and I’m drowning.    ❜  

❛   there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead.  ❜  

❛   what on earth… have i become?  ❜  

❛   don’t look at me! i don’t … i don’t want you seeing me like this.  ❜  

❛   i wish i could’ve been like you.  ❜  

❛   your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood.  ❜  

❛   the future should know the mistakes we made.  ❜  

❛   of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption.  ❜  

❛   i’m here because you can’t accept what you’ve done. it broke you.  ❜  

❛   even now, after all you’ve done, you can still go home.  lucky you . ❜  

❛   you’re all that’s left, and we can’t live this lie forever.  ❜  

❛    prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation.  ❜  

❛   take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act.  ❜  

❛    i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day.  ❜  

❛   don’t let yourself get killed for… for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk.  ❜  

❛    you and me, we ain’t decent… but those folk… they were.  ❜  

❛   we’re more ghosts than people.  ❜  

❛   despite my best efforts to the contrary… it turns out i’ve won.  ❜  

❛   i gave you all i had … i did.  ❜  

❛   this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision.  ❜  

❛   do you think even the worst person can change…? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜  

❛   i don’t want to break their hearts all over again. it’s better if they never see me.  ❜  

❛   please leave me alone. i can’t come back. i just … can’t, okay?  ❜  

❛   no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜  

❛    people like you don’t ever want to be happy.  ❜  

❛   i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  ❜  

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btw I’m also getting @viatrixisms up and running

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peak laziness is making my friends a total of 300 icons and reusing the same 5 I made for myself.

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@vishapsking​ asked,  “ drink this. it’ll calm you right down. ”

          the  yaksha  was  sternly  quiet  as  he  sat,  still  and  eyes  downturned.  his  body  is  littered  with  the  dark-centered  wounds  of  battle  and  as  much  as  Xiao  likes  to  think  otherwise,  adepti  do  require  rest.  it  is  something  he  has  always  struggled  with,  having  been  forced  time  and  again  to  push  his  own  limits,  first  by  his  original  master  and  now  by  the  misery  of  the  archon  war.  though  he  didn’t  regret  his  decisions  as  of  late,  his  body  did  not  agree  with  them.

          ❝  ...thank  you.  ❞  gloved  hands  take  the  teacup  tenderly,  as  if  afraid  he  may  break  it  if  handled  without  care.  tea,  of  course,  brewed  with  qixing  flowers  if  he’s  not  mistaken.  his  stomach  already  turns  with  the  thought  of  having  to  stomach  anything,  though  he  hopes  the  tea  will  be  gentle  on  him.

          bitter  as  he  thought,  definitely  made  with  the  flowers  of  the  high  mountaintops.  finally  amber  eyes  flicker  back  up  to  study  the  Lord  of  Vishaps.  he  never  quite  knew  how  to  address  his  lord’s  closest  friend,  so  he  stuck  with  not  addressing  him  directly  at  all.  he  did  not  intend  to  offend  the  Vishap  King  and  warrant  his  lord’s  ire.

          ❝  to  what  do  I  owe  this  honor?  ❞  though  he’d  hardly  consider  it  such.  he  never  had  been  one  for  understanding  when  others  wanted  to  care  for  him.  even  his  fellow  yaksha’s  behavior  often  eluded  him,  far  beyond  his  stilted  understanding  still.

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sleepy whump prompts send a sentence, get a drabble. 

“ drink this. it’ll calm you right down. ”

“ your eyes look really heavy. ”

“ when you wake up, you’ll be in a nice soft bed. ”

“ don’t freak out or anything, but i drugged your food/drink. ” 

“ you’re falling asleep on your feet. ”

“ do you want a pillow? ”

“ shh, rest. ”

“ this always relaxes me. ”

“ now’s probably a good time to tell you that i crushed a sedative into your water. sweet dreams, (name). ”

“ lean on me, stop talking, and go to sleep. ”

“ it’s called lavender, and i think it’s starting to hit you. ”

“ i can see your eyes drooping and getting sleepy. ” 

“ hear that? when the sheets rustle together, it sounds like the ocean. ”

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new theme reveal!! I’m loving the new style. it took some time to customize.

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starter call!!

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✦ ━━ ❛❛ 𝐈𝐭𝐭𝐨 ; ( 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐢 ): 

              Minding  his  own  business,  that’s  what  he  had  been  doing.  He  and  Shinobu  had  split  up  earlier  in  the  day  because  there  was  supposedly  treasure  in  this  area  and  he  was  determined  to  find  it.  Splitting  up  seemed  like  the  best  way  to  cover  the  most  ground.  

              It  happens  almost  too  fast  for  him  to  react,  but  he  jumps  back  as  Xiao  lands  in  front  of  him.  Too  stunned,  he  doesn’t  even  react  when  the  point  of  a  polearm  is  pressing  against  his  throat.  Red  eyes  widen  in  recognition  in  the  next  instant,  his  face  brightening  at  the  sight  of  him.  

              “It’s  you!  The  little  guy  from  before!”  he  exclaims  enthusiastically  and  like  he  was  greeting  an  old  friend,  he  slaps  Xiao  on  the  back  and  laughs.  “It’s  been  a  while!”

          the  slap  on  the  back  comes  as  a  surprise  to  Xiao,  enough  that  he  hadn’t  properly  braced  himself,  and  so  Itto’s  gesture  threw  him  a  bit  off  kilter.  not  enough  to  fall,  of  course,  but  enough  that  he  had  to  gently  adjust  his  stance  to  keep  from  stumbling.  

          finding  his  balance  again,  Xiao  has  to  crane  his  neck  a  bit  to  even  make  eye  contact  with  the  oni.  he  hadn’t  noticed  it  when  they  had  been  in  the  Chasm  together,  considering  they  both  spent  time  incapacitated,  but  Itto  was...very  tall.  a  mountain  of  a  man,  actually,  a  homage  to  his  vision  if  anything.  Xiao  had  noticed  the  geo  vision  that  sat  at  the  hollow  of  the  oni’s  throat,  knew  that  he  had  been  blessed  by  his  lord  for  a  good  reason.

          ❝  my  name  is  adeptus  Xiao,  ❞  he  replies  coolly,  slipping  naturally  into  Narukami  Inazuman  for  ease  of  communication;  he  at  least  figures  it  will  be  more  comfortable  for  Itto  if  Xiao  speaks  his  native  language.  he  also  wonders  if  Itto  never  truly  learned  his  name.  then,  somewhat  awkwardly,  because  he  has  been  trying  the  whole  socializing  thing  a  bit,  ❝  you  are  in  Liyue  again.  ❞

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✦  ━━  ❛❛ 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐮𝐬 ; ( 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐚 ):

 “….Do you even know, how to make tofu?” its recreate human food time.

@cataclysmicregret·

          ❝  well,  I...  ❞  to  be  honest,  the  answer  was  no,  though  the  yaksha  was  a  little  hesitant  to  say  just  that  specifically.  ❝  we  have  no  need  for  mortal  food.  ❞

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tumblr idk what the fuck your problem is but stop making my posts look weird.

also on another note I will be a little scarce on and off for the next few days but I’ll still be on discord.

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                                         The  One  &  Oni                                                                                              Arataki  Itto

                                     Independent  /  Private  /  Selective

                                                   Penned  by  Zen

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@supremeoni​  liked  for  a  starter.

          the  tingling  along  Xiao’s  spine  was  never  a  good  sign.  it  was  something  he  felt  when  a  presence  was  nearby,  although  this  one  did  not  feel  particularly…malicious.  it  actually  felt  anything  but,  which  was  odd  considering  it  was  clearly  a  demonic  presence.  

          knitting  his  eyebrows  together,  he  materialized  his  polearm,  feeling  the  weapon  of  jade  fit  perfectly  within  his  hand  before  he  plunged  off  the  cliffside,  narrowly  avoiding  the  demon  that  had  caught  his  attention.  whirling  around,  he  had  the  tip  at  the  creature’s  throat  before  even  his  mind  fully  caught  up.  when  it  did,  he  relaxed  only  slightly,  though  did  not  move  his  weapon.

          ❝  oh.  ❞  amber  eyes  blink  slowly  before  he  withdrew  the  jade  spear,  settling  it  easily  at  his  side.  ❝  it’s  you.  ❞

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A HEADCANON ABOUT: sexuality

Xiao is officially labeled as aroace. Now, it’s important to remember that aromanticism and asexuality are spectrums. how Xiao as an aroace represents is not how all aroace identifying people would. there’s many shades of the spectrum to consider.

for Xiao, he has no romantic nor sexual drive. it’s not that he’s incapable of having these feelings, but just that they...don’t show up. he does not have any drive to seek out a romantic or sexual partner and never really will.

part of what drives Xiao’s identity is his world view. he has one singular job to do: his duties as a yaksha. when it comes to slaying demons, purging evil gods from Liyue, protecting mortals from otherwordly chaos, things like dating and sex aren’t exactly on his mind. he puts all his energy into doing what needs to be done that he doesn’t spare any to the thought of relations with other people. that’s not to say that his identity would change if he did spare a thought, but it is something that attributes to the sheer amount of care Xiao lacks towards the subject.

Xiao, of course, is several thousand years old and knows of these processes. Dating, marriage, procreation, these are all things he has knowledge of ( albeit at a very fundamental level ) but he simply doesn’t have the time to give them consideration.

like I said before, Xiao isn’t incapable of feeling romantic or sexual attraction. with the right person and the right approach, that could be something that he would explore, but the circumstances for it are heavily hindered by his duty. as the last remaining of the Five Yaksha, Xiao continues to accumulate karmic debt by the day, something which mortals cannot withstand. though mortals with a vision have a higher tolerance, Xiao will forever be forced to keep others at arm’s length for their own safety. it would take someone with an incredible determination ( and a higher resistance to his karmic debt helps ) before Xiao could ever consider exploring romantic or sexual relations.

and even then you’d have to get him to want to explore them.

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starter call!!

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