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"I want a school, sir. I want a school here on the Chalk. I've been thinking about this for a long time--in fact, for longer than I had worked out the name for what I wanted. There's an old barn on Home Farm that isn't being used right now, and I think we could make it quite acceptable in a week or so."

"Well, the traveling teachers do come through every few months," said the Baron.

"Yes, sir, I know, sir, and they're useless, sir. They teach facts, not understanding. It's like teaching people about forests by showing them a saw. I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find what they're good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset to any country, and too often people never find out until it's too late. [...] There have been times lately, when I dearly wish that I could change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having."

Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

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[Aunty Hattie] was even worse after a glass of wine, and she had one joke: “What does a man stand up to do, a woman sit down to do, and a dog lift its leg to do?” And then, when everyone was too embarrassed to answer, she’d triumphantly shriek “Shake hands!” and fall over. Aunty Hattie was an Abomination all by herself.

Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment

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Curl

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

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The Iliad is probably one of the funniest books I ever read

Like I'll be having a not-so-good day, then remember how Hector had given himself an entire pep talk to fight Achilles. He saw Achilles running full speed towards him and proceeds to just book it.

Or when Menelaus got shot by an arrow in like in an ultimately nonfatal spot, and Agamemnon begins prematurely mourning him while he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️” you're scaring the men.”

Or when Odysseus is walking around the camps with a royal scepter and is just beating people with it if he finds them packing or suggesting to leave.

Or when Hector is brainstorming on how to face Achilles and for a moment goes, “Maybe I could talk with him, we’re both princes, we can both be rational, I could reason with him… that's a horrible fucking idea.”

I have more, but these, in particular, really tickle me.

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To whom it may concern:

I hope your era of "disappointed, but not surprised" will soon come to a close, and for it to be replaced with a long span of "surprised, but not disappointed."

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But you saved me!

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So wait are livestock guardian dogs to their flocks like… Clark Kent among the residents of Smallville? He’s been here since he was a baby, we all know him, and he’s… generally one-of-us shaped, uh, approximately. And then when something goes wrong he suddenly leaps into action and does some terrifying impossible shit none of us could do. And then comes back home and settles in like nothing happened and he’s one of us again.

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HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE 2004, dir. Hayao Miyazaki

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did u see them btw...

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the secret lives of real birbs!

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rb to give a flower to the person you rb this from

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