maddokayn (you can call me madds or maddi), he/they. vent blog. no minors. more info in pinned post
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hey it’s me again yeah i’m still here
shit has been incredibly hard lmao
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sorry if i come off as stupid, its because i am
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I'm done pretending that I'm human.
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if i'm being 100% honest I don't think anyone who isn't disabled tries to get disability i legitimately do not believe it. "x amount of people make false claims" no, x amount of people who make claims are declared not disabled by the government, an institution that doesn't give a shit about disabled people and wants to find any reason to deny us assistance. if somebody goes through the effort of applying for ssi, which isn't a simple process, just for the CHANCE to get a max of $794 a month (but likely less.) and not even be able to save that money up. they are genuinely struggling with something. nobody would choose this if they had other reasonable options
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I was talking about being afraid of people leaving me behind because I'm too sick, and my boyfriend just looked at me and said: "It's my choice to be your boyfriend. It's your friends choice to be your friends. You don't have to understand it, but you have to respect our choice. Don't try to make the decision of whether you're worthy of people on their behalf because that's not your decision to make." I think that's an important thing to remember. That whether we're worthy of someone's time and effort is something others can decide for themselves regardless of whether or not we agree with them. There's a lot of peace in realizing that literally all you have to do is accept the love other people choose to throw your way. That you aren't the one who gets to determine that you aren't worthy of their love. That other people can choose to love you regardless of how you feel about yourself - and that you can learn to respect their choice even though you're feeling unworthy.
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Clarice Lispector, tr. by Johnny Lorenz, Um Sopro de Vida
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i don’t know how to deal with the cards that have been thrown my way
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someone: hey how are you
me: moderate to severe
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