celhouette

[celhouette]

June 24, 2025 | 11:36 PM

It's been a while since I last wrote something here. Well, life's the same. maybe? Anddddd right now seems like I know the answers but I don't know how to execute it. There are a lot of things to tackle about and this is not just me focusing on one matter but more. Yes I am grateful and at the same time I am curious for what is about to unfold and numb enough to not expect anything good or better. Why am I even like this? For now, I will try to continue and put all my thoughts and knit it into words and phrases for me to be able to understand it myself maybe not now, not tomorrow but someday.

Hi self, I hope you keep on keeping on. till my next....

[celhouette]

🌦

[celhouette]

it's the end of the year and you're walking through fresh snow under the Northern Lights ❄

get the high-res mobile wallpaper in my Winter Pack here

[celhouette]

October 31, 2024 | 3:50 A.M

Again, here are the notes that i got from that old bottle. Isn’t it ironic how these words of yours are very contradictory with what you have done and said to me? well, wala sd ko kabalo ngano blue ug yellow rjud na akong mga nakuha pero sa pito kabuok, 2 ra kabuok notes ang naka stop ko ug hunahuna… and really contemplate with the words that are written.. first is ang “I love you in every Universe” and ang next ky “keep me ☹️” naa pakay pa sad face ah. A woman could do anything and be everything to a man and still not keep him. The only thing that can make a man stay is, if he wants to be kept by that woman. Unya? nangaunsa naman ta ani ron? botbot jud ang tanan. but its okay, sge nalang. as if i have a choice diba? i wish u well. ug unta gyud makita na nmo ang woman ug isturya nmo sa iya na willing ka magpa keep jud sa iyaha. dili kay ipaagi nmog notes2 mga ing ani pero wa diay japon.

Anyways, it’s been a year pd pero nagparamdam ka ganina by inviting me sa rank game sa ML. mura rajud way nahitabo no? tropa ta? lol. after ko nmo gi deliveredzone ug seenzone sa akong last chat sa imoha. mu chat rka skoa ug “dula paka?” as if walay nahitabo. honestly, i dont know what and how to react about that. ill just leave it like that. kapoy explain mao ramn japon dba. wish u well and i hope ok naka sa imo kahimtang karon.

[celhouette]

for him, i was the easiest thing to let go of.

[celhouette]

October 08, 2024. || 2:07 A.M

one year. it is exactly one year since you left me. and here I am, reading one of your little notes from that one big jar of how and why you love me and what things we should do together. you said na ako tong basahon isa isa kada adlaw pero who would’ve thought na dili nako sya mahuman ug basa kay lge nagbulag na ta. wala nako ka remember when was the last time na nagkuha kog notes gikan ato pero mao ni sya ang latest na akong nakuha which is ganina, and I asked God for a sign, with whatever message that is written sa note, will be coming from him, and this is what I saw. I still have a lot of questions actually pero dugay na nako na nga gibuy-an ky nawal an nakog paglaom sa gugma. I could say sguro sa “romantic love” lng ko ni give up pero “love” itself has many forms and various meanings. And I could say that I have given up pretty much everything including my future. For now, since anniversary mn sa adlaw na imo kong gibyaan, I’ll just leave this here, ky mao raman japon, nothing will change and I don’t believe in your promises anymore. Kana nga note, wa ko kabalo unsa akong ma feel but one thing is for sure, I’m feeling numb. I am not even angry, lonely, happy, or anything. I just wish you well kung asa ug naunsa mn ka karon, I hope you are satisfied and happy sa imong decision.

and.. yeah this leaves me into a conversation with the Lord na. Dili na nko need i share diri but yeah magsturya sa mi ni Lord and unta maayo imong panglawas karon.

[celhouette]

[celhouette]

:/

[celhouette]

it’s a good day para ma chugi ~~~

[celhouette]

the sad thing was, i accepted that person for he is and when it comes to me, i wasn’t.

tanan ta naay i worst na batasan, nakapait lng kay gidawat nko iyang bati na batasan pero pag abot skoa dili kaya. i stayed, for better or worse only to find out, d na ganahan skoa tungod dw sa akong batasan ug ikapila na dwko ghatagan ug chance? iphanay diay? pekeon nalang ang pila ka tuig na ako pd ang naghatag ug chance? ohh the things i wanna say but nobody wants to listen.. kapoy na kaayo jd, sige lng atleast kabalo si Lord sa tanan tanan. i’m so tired njud, i judge nlng ko ninyo tanan ug aha mo malipay hala go.

basta Lord ha? gahulat rko nimo. i can’t wait to see you.

[celhouette]

i just want to remember these pair of sandals that i love so much.

gusto nko picturan para naa koi remembrance incase mn gle maguba pag abot sa panahon..kani nga sandal daghan naagian ug nahibal an ug magpabilin na ako lang ang nakabalo kay unsaon taman, nahitabo mn jd ang angay mahitabo ug wala nakoi mahimo.

behind these sandals lies a beautiful story that only i can remember. baw lang ug naka remember ba ang gapalit, but who cares? only i care.

just small steps, hapit nata magkita Lord. :)

[celhouette]

sige nalang kog katulog haha ngano mumata paman?

[celhouette]

June 28, 2024 | 3:23 PM

first and last bouquet i guess?

i never thought na mao na diay ni, bantog akong gi preserve ug ayo. mao na diay ni first and last na hatag nmo na bouquet skoa sukad 2017-2023. ambot oi daghan pko isturya pero akoa nalang ni ug kay Lord. mao raman japon sturyaa.

bye.

[celhouette]

Lord, kwaa nako. please maluoy ka

[celhouette]

I've seen it rain and fire in the sky

[celhouette]

June 23, 2024

went to church. cried so much.

when will this end? Lord pls.