Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by centeredthoughts-blog and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
39K
Likes Per Post
12K
Reblog Per Post
27K
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
7 days
Number of Posts By Type
Quote
5
Text
9
Photo
3
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
70% of Tumblr users say the Dashboard is their favorite place to spend time online.
Quote
YOU FUCKING CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT HOW fucking dare you waltz back in here and expect to talk to me as less than you, you lost the right of a parent long ago and now I see you in a detached manner from myself. How fucking dare you talk to me like that. Just fuck off already, before i do. i cant cANNOT handle being in the same space as you you CUNT CUNT.
0 notes
Text
Today a friend of mine who i havent talked to in so long opeened up to me so easily about his mental health it was amazing.
rather not so amazing what he had been gowing throgh. coming from diffucult family backgroud, it eventually made him feel so awful that he caught a taxi to th westgate bridge and just stood there
he said he didnt care what would happen
i think this moment as specifically hit me in a cirtual time of my life as well, wherein family members are becoming sick. im learning to not foucs so introspectiely, im learning that helping others truly does help yourself.
0 notes
Quote
I’m just gonna crawl back inside my bed I’m just gonna stay stuck inside my head And I just wish that I was dead And I just wish that I was dead
Fidlar - Overdose (via dwinhapus)
170 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Officially a tatted lady ^_^ Aummmm <3
1 note
·
View note
Text
HELLO THOUGHTS TIME TO FUCKING WORK VOMIT
HAHA HA Hhelleoo
So i made a rule i said to the parents when you’re fightign consitently and without any logic or reason ora ny means to getting better, and i ask you to stop and you do not, i leave. i simply pack up my things and leave. Last friday I went to the city without saying anything i stayed the night at home last night at ten i left home caught a bus to my god mothers becuase they were fighting. i warned them this would happen. so i left.
that night while i was away my mother gets a phone call from her mother, she has cancer. she has an operation on thursday wherein they will remove her enture bowel and replace it with a ‘bag.’ This isnt looking good at all.
ON the other side of th family my fathers abuela is also sick with breast cancer, it has been a slow and consistn declien since early last year.
I love them both so dearly.
THis evening my mother called me and told me we were going to have a meeting i attended said meeting and she told me about the news. I was shattered. SHe was distraught. i wasnt there for the call, i wasnt there to support her. Guilt overcame me and i gulped for air.
As this continues only ever so slowly am i more strongly feeling the detachment from my girlfriend, it is a ongoing and timed dead line weherein next year she leaves for a year to work in the UK. I am so proud of her i am so torn. Even when we have our distances I love her more than i think she or even I know and sometimes spasms of tears hit me fercly and i realse that i wont see her for a long time i wont be in her life anymore.
with the frequent decline of each person i feel the weight of lonliness more heavily, the signifignace of detachment. School is ending and friendhsips will dimishinsh and i am surronded my memories and loss.
I cant help but feel i have an undying duty to this family to try and try and try to make it better. I feel that i cant leave anymore, each distraction is merly that, a distraction, but wont the problem still reside whether i have rocognised it or not?
This year has beeen a series of seperation, wherein two of my greatest friendhsips were demonsihed in the eyes of this household, my abuela fell sick, now my other grandomtehr and slowly i mroe and more so detach myself from my immediatle family.
Is that selfish? Is that awful? I cant stand to be in the house of shouting and abuse so i walk away, leaving pieces of hrut and blame left behind for them to clean? am i not apart of the problem too, musnt i try?
I can’t stand to leave her with him. i cant stand to have her there with him and me left with the constant anxiety that maybe something has happened. truth is father, i still fear you but i will be dammed if i let that control me over protecting myself or my mother.
Maybe i am being selfish. Eternally and without any question - selfish. Christ i mean it is THEIR parents that are sick. It is their mothers that are without many days left. Yet this only instensifies their unstable emotional state. I am ready to deal with this. I can take this on.
It is a matter of putting yourself second and realising that everyone has their issues. It is a matter of strengh and I am willing to be there for my mother, even if it emotionally drains me to a vast desert sea.
0 notes
Text
okay you know what i could conquer the fucking world right now im jamming to my spanish mix getting ready for a weekend of doing nothing this hair is great for freaking whipping out and head banging with oh man the vibes ares strong
0 notes
Text
Within two days of having my stash back I’ve had about five darts and tried three different kind of drugs.
What is life.
0 notes
Quote
It was like making sand castles on the beach. No matter how many times I tried to make a home, like water - you just pulled it down.
0 notes
Text
I can't even have him in my room. He just walks in and talks to me, looks at my photo wall. Harmless. But inside I'm imagining ripping his head to be divided from his body - slamming it into the wall scattering blood drops like rain. There's a thunderstorm working inside of me- and when he finally leaves I break down. Crying, panting, shaking, anger overwhelming me. All from him being in my room. What's wrong with me?
0 notes
Text
Another dream. Last night it was in the car. We were shouting and shouting about my lack of interest in school and bad grades. He was driving my mother was beside me she was crying. I told him to stop I got out and walked on some stairs. I called a friend they didn’t pick up then I woke up. This is too frequent for me I am not doing well.
0 notes
Text
This morning at four am I woke up deep breathing and teary eyed still in the shock and haze of the dream I was just in. Extracted from the vivid experience itself the feelings of anxiety and shame still were firing from neuron to neuron - I could not define the difference between dream and reality.
I was hiding in my own house. Outside he was there, the shadow of his figure looming through the windows, casting darkness in the light. I was crying, panting, hands shaking, fears building - I felt internally that this person would hurt me. I felt strongly that I was in danger. I ran. I hid. In my own house.
The last moments of the dream this person opened the door and searched for me. I caught sight of their face through the crack of the closet door. It was my father. I woke up.
I don’t know how to interpret the overwhelming feelings of unsafety that my subconsciousness holds. But this is not the first dream this week and I am getting concerned.
0 notes
