certified-man-hater

[certified-man-hater]

from “You Can’t Fuck The Sadness Away” by Vanishing Points, Substack

[certified-man-hater]

like i was a tomboy right out the womb and my mother was openly resentful of how difficult it was to get me to be feminine and made comments about how she “wanted a daughter but got a weird son” i was forced to wear pretty skirts and dresses meanwhile all i wanted was to look at dinosaurs and talk about the titanic. so when i hit middle school i resented femininity. then i got tumblr and was told by the other 12-15 year olds that i was actually a misogynist for feeling disillusioned with femininity, so until i was around 19 i threw myself into being as feminine as i possibly could, i wore glam makeup every single day, tiny skirts and dresses, heels when i could (i have a bone spur in my ankle that makes them especially hard for me) and i was fucking miserable! it was a mask! none of that was me, but i was so fucking popular and well liked and showered with attention and compliments. when i got to my 20’s i realized that none of that even does anything for you. it’s just confidence boosting but only in the short term, none of it is about YOU, its about how well you performed. i’m still proud of my skills in makeup and fashion and hairstyling but now i have confidence that comes from the knowledge that im a smart, funny, and genuinely good person. my looks have almost nothing to do with how much i love myself. i very much struggle still with accepting my appearance without changing it, in large part because the makeup and dress-up did nothing but damage to my perception of my appearance. i’m not talking about this stuff from the perspective of some bitter bitch who genuinely has internalized misogyny issues, i’m saying this as someone who was you once. i was a hyperfeminine girl for 9 years of my 25 years on earth. i’m leveling with you and telling you to just Think about it, try different things, don’t let attention and social pressure make you betray your true sense of self. don’t lie to yourself about it. you’re a human being not a piece of decor designed to be viewed and judged

[certified-man-hater]

[certified-man-hater]

Seems to say something that I’ve never heard of a non-binary IDed male getting breast implants to affirm his gender but women who don’t even ID as men are having whole mastectomies. Male default strikes again.

[certified-man-hater]

The comment is from 7 years ago and idk if this person uses tumblr anymore 💔 but this is exactly what I’ve been thinking too.

[certified-man-hater]

the fact that men view women being whores, fat, ugly, obnoxious, etc. at the same level as rape, hate crimes, and femicide should tell you everything you need to know about them.

“99% of rape is done by a male. i wish they would stop hurting us.” (15❤️)

“yeah? well, i wish women werent ugly sluts!” (1230❤️)

[certified-man-hater]

every time women do literally anything other people have to make it about them. youre a radfem? well, what about trans people? youre sapphic? but what about men? youre advocating for harm against women? but men get raped too!

[certified-man-hater]

no one is born in the wrong body. how fucking delusional. you literally are your body and your biology. teaching children about gender ideology, telling them their identity is not connected to their body is complete child abuse

[certified-man-hater]

Even though I’m bisexual there’s just something so gross to me about the majority of male people. Like a creeping sense that even in their kindest and most friendly behaviour there’s something dark and perverted, knowing that the minute i behave in a way that isn’t sweet and giving I’m putting myself in danger, and that even if i am sweet and giving it will be misinterpreted as sexual permission rather than a facet of my personality.

Men’s smiles, their jokes, their interests, all border on being a bit grotesque to me. I’m attracted to the hypothetical of a male corpus, and there’s some abstracted male figures and fictions who I’m fond of, but in the day to day it just gives me a creeping sense of anxiety.

[certified-man-hater]

'the bible is true'

okay so why is the bible true

'because the bible says it's true'

'trans women are women'

hm. okay why are trans women women?

'because they say that they're women!'

[certified-man-hater]

I've gotta say, watching the creepiest dudes from my high school become TIMs is dystopian as fuck.

"Trans women are women" that is literally Brad from English. He's been fetishizing lesbians and frying his brain cells with anime porn since he got access to the internet.

[certified-man-hater]

and the “very specific and weird requirements” are literally just being female. uhhh ok

[certified-man-hater]

I will not call a male "she"; thirty-two years of suffering in this androcentric society, and of surviving, have earned me the title "Woman"; one walk down the street by a male transvestite, five minutes of his being hassled (which he may enjoy), and then he dares, he dares to think he understands our pain? No, in our mother's names and in our own, we must not call him sister.

Robin Morgan speaking at the West Coast Lesbian Conference in Los Angeles, in 1973

[certified-man-hater]

My “all rich people are bad” brother would lose his fucking mind if I said “All men, including you”.

“Errr I don’t exploit you”, oh but when I had to walk to school in a dense black abaya and long hijab under the sweltering heat and you walked alongside me in your loose dress shirt, your privileged ass never showed any meaningful sympathy?

When you got to play sports outside all day but we girls couldn’t because of our restrictive wear and fear of male discrimination and sexual harassment, was it not your privileged ass that didn’t mind?

When we went to the beach and or swimming pools, it wasn’t you that only wore shorts swimming comfortably while I was covered head to toe in my burkini, still being leered at by the creep across the pool so I couldn’t even enjoy myself?

When our male cousin lived with us during the summer, was it not us girls that had to dress modestly and ‘behave’ in our own fucking homes while you played video games shirtless?

When our baby brother was growing up, was it not you that never changed his diaper once in your fucking life despite us being only a year apart in age?

When you started studying Islam just like me, was it not you that accused me of being blasphemous when I brought up concerns about sexism?

You saw obvious discrimination, you experienced privileges and benefitted, and you never once helped. I don’t care that you were ‘nice’ to me and joked around with me and hung out with me sometimes— the structure of inequality that you never cared to address is clear in my mind.

All men, INCLUDING YOU.

[certified-man-hater]

The way women’s clothing is so much worse than men’s pisses me off. It’s so difficult to find clothes that fit because they’re all made for the same handful of ideal body types, and designed for “fashion” (the male gaze) first. Even “comfy” clothes like sweatshorts are designed to make your ass look good half the time.

They can’t even get something as basic as underwear right. The fact that “wedgie-free” women's underwear was marketed as this novel breakthrough less than twenty years ago is WILD. And it doesn’t even fucking WORK!

We deserve clothes that fit, clothes that are comfortable, clothes that are functional, not overpriced skintight garbage.

[certified-man-hater]

I hate how kindness, unlike in books or films, do not yield anything when it comes to men.

My friend’s brother is the typical loner-gamer, and he seemed rather depressed to me, and I thought it must be not easy for him—he never had a girlfriend, spends most of his time alone, and the only socialization activity he has is video games.

So, I figured we could be nice to him. On his birthday, we got him a Lego set, which he seemed to like. We would often visit him with his favorite snacks, ask how he was doing, and overall make him feel cared for.

We did that for nearly a year, and that man not only has been ungrateful (at first we thought he just needs time to show emotions), he laughed how annoying we are with his game friends and mocked we keep bothering him with our “nonsense”. He also gifted us nothing back on our birthdays, and we tried to be understanding that perhaps he is shy.

Looking back, it’s sad how naive we were—he didn't need love or attention to be uplifted and encouraged, he was “lonely” because he was an asshole.

Why did we think his heart would soften, his negative thoughts would leave him, and he would begin to trust people more once we showed him continuous love and care? That's a grown-ass man, 30 years of age—his life, as miserable as it seems, is HIS active choice.

Don't believe in male loneliness epidemic propaganda. These men probably have people who care about them deeply—mothers, sisters, whoever—it’s them who do not give a single fuck about them.

[certified-man-hater]

"Research... tells us over and over that when men kill their female partners or ex-partners, it usually follows months or years of abusing her. On the other hand, when women kill their husbands or exes, it's usually after months or years of having been abused by the man they have killed." - Kerry Daynes, The Dark Side of the Mind