chambered--nautilus

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painted some doors in my house black awhile back, and they look really nice, but it's the middle of the night and i've just heard the telltale sound of my sister walking face first into a closed door

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every shitty book now is called something like a court of shit and fuck or something equally stupid. books used to be called frindle and we liked it. we liked it

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once i was presenting research at a conference where everyone who received money from a specific grant had to go to basically be like “and here’s what we’re doing with your money.”

and there was a team there presenting on astrophysics and I truly barely understood a thing they said. my team was there to talk about salamander eDNA, and the juxtaposition between Space Math and swabbing salamanders with cotton-tips just struck me as deeply funny.

Later some of the Space people came by and asked us all about the salamanders and one of them said, “I can’t imagine working with animals and water. It’s all so messy. I don’t know how you stay sane with those variables?”

And I was like, “dude I didn’t even know the math you talked about today even existed.”

And we were both just like 🤝 “love your work. huge fan. I’d rather die than do it though.”

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1998 nickelodeon trade ad

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"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.

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my 3 week old lettuce in the fridge because i forgot about it

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“Parasite-in-chief and her idiot hat” is like the 7 most important words a human has ever spoken thank you christopher eccleston

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This might be my favorite submission so far

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does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

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dont fucking tell me what to do. this is inportant.

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fuck this time loop im leaving (walks into a different, worse time loop)

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currently thinking abt ted or whatever his name is

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Amazing

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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method