chaotic-timelord

[chaotic-timelord]

old people are always like “you guys want everything to be easy” yessss queen exactly……

[chaotic-timelord]

One of my favorite stories to tell about myself from when I was a kid is the story how my grandma’s “Catching Fairies” game was banned because of me

So when I was really little my grandma had this game she made up, she’d give me and all my cousins jars and containers and tell us that in her garden there were fairies but they were smart and tricky so they disguised themselves as caterpillars and butterflies and as grasshoppers and worms.

Whoever caught the most ‘Fairies’ won but we had to set them all free because they tended to the garden

One summer day my brothers were at the age they were dreading ‘girly’ stuff so I was playing alone

At this point I had met all the fairies in the garden and I was getting bored without any competition and with finding the same old fairies

But then just as I was begrudgingly heading back to my grandma with the same fairies as usual I found a new fairy!

I thought she was so beautiful! She was resting on the sparkly thread in the leaves and her black body gleamed in the sunlight, she had long legs and a cool red spot on her back

Excited I coaxed her onto my hand and was so giddy I found a new one! I rushed back to the farm house to show my Grandma and Dad, gently carrying my new friend.

But when my Dad and Grandma turned around to see what fairy I caught I saw the color drain from their faces and both of them freeze, I could tell something was wrong but didn’t understand

My dad congratulated me and asked me if he could see the pretty fairy, I let him but felt a little nervous seeing how terrified he looked as she moved into his hands from mine.

Slowly he walked back towards the door, my grandma clutching my shoulders then my dad LAUNCHED the fairy back into the garden which I thought was rather rude

Then we had a nice long talk about Black Widow spiders

[chaotic-timelord]

[chaotic-timelord]

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

[chaotic-timelord]

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

[chaotic-timelord]

if i had a gay little son i would put him in itty bitty tailored suits and raise him to be evil

[chaotic-timelord]

Bill Braun creates paintings that look like construction paper!

[chaotic-timelord]

I’ve admittedly first read the books over a year ago and only now I’m rereading them and paying attention to the characters on a non-superficial level, so do keep in mind those are incomplete thoughts because so far I’m at about half of the first book.

I agree then, if it’s meant as society’s perception of him. I feel, since Ouyang is extremely dysphoric, his thinking others see him as a woman could be mostly a product of dysphoria, but then you see how others treat him and [in some cases, not all] it isn’t. In a scene from the first book, after the battle in which he had lost 10000 men, I remember Altan’s father proposed to Chaghan to sell Ouyang as a woman because he’d get three times the price he’d get for him as a general given his recent defeat. I should look into whether it’s mostly women or men who do see him as a man and what those same people think of Baoxiang too, since I’m at it. We know from the first book Chaghan might see Ouyang as more of a man than Baoxiang, which I find interesting because if it’s true then bodies don’t have much to do with it. Surely Ouyang’s body plays into it too, but it’d mean the main factor for Chaghan is whether one behaves the way men are expected to behave and Ouyang does more than Baoxiang.

Do tell me if I’m misremembering anything lol. I’m going by memory on most things. But, if I am remembering correctly, Chaghan’s view of gender is a little like Ma’s. When she met Ouyang she thought he was a woman from his look, and that changed as soon as she noticed the way he moved and behaved. I don’t remember what she thought of Zhu as soon as she knew they had a woman’s body, but I’ll note it down when I get there because I’m pulling out straws that possibly don’t even exist and I want to make sure they either do or don’t.

This comment didn’t mean to be this long, but I started making connections as I was going and I couldn’t stop before I had laid out everything on the table. I know the original post was about Zhu and Ouyang, but if we’re talking of gender I feel it’s obligatory to make it about Baoxiang too. Of course if I’m wrong about something feel free to correct me, especially on the Ma-Chaghan part. I think what I said wouldn’t make much sense since I had the feeling Ma thought of gender and its roles/behaviours as something stationary when in the first book she confessed to Zhu she doesn’t want to get married, but that it’s her fate/role as a woman and she can do nothing to change it

The Radiant Emperor Duology makes me insane and is maybe the best book series I've ever read.

Zhu Chongba and Ouyang are so so interesting. They are the same yet they are different. One seems to grab a fate and make it theirs while the other trudges on doing what they see as inevitable.

They both have such great desires that no matter what they can't stop. Zhu Chongba says they could stop their climb for power as easily as they could stop breathing. Ouyang loves and desires Essen platonically, romantically, and maybe wholly but no matter what they want, that desire is a part of Ouyang.

Their identities are both a thing in flux, something deviant. While Zhu is born as a girl they reject this femininity and yet they are not a man. They are a substance not of either binary. Their gender is made up of things other than their sex at birth. Zhu Chongba is as much not a man due to their lost hand than the fact that they are afab.

Ouyang's masculinity is something that he's seen as having taken from him. He is no longer a man but he also very much not a woman, he too is a substance of neither. He reaches and craves masculinity far more than Zhu ever does.

Ouyang has also lost his identity as a Nandrin but he is also not Mongolian. He has been cut from everything and has killed the one person he wanted to understand him.

They both also have such an interesting relationship to pain. For both of them it is a tool and something they can and must survive on their journeys to their fate. Zhu Chongba seems apathetic to pain. They do not enjoy it but it is a tool that can use and they can bear it to get them higher while for Ouyang it is absolution.

I have so many more thoughts and they make me crazy. Someone plz talk about them with me

Anyway I'm going back to banging my head against the wall

[chaotic-timelord]

Sound on. How dogs navigate stairs.

[chaotic-timelord]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

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starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

[chaotic-timelord]

IG@lo.pony

[chaotic-timelord]

i had a dream that due to a botched contract mcdonalds had accidentally agreed to individually sponsor every post on tumblr dot com so the site was unusable because everyone was just posting like 'cock sex cum' and then there'd be a giant integrated SPONSORED BY THE MCDONALDS CORPORATION banner underneath it and mcdonalds was losing millions of dollars on this

[chaotic-timelord]

One of the funniest things about Mormonism is that I’m sure Joseph Smith never believed any of the bullshit he said. There are some religions and cults where you have faith the original prophet actually thought they were talking to angels or believed the set of principles they laid out for their followers were for the greater good. Joseph Smith was a dumbass but like PT Barnum he realized a sucker was born every day and he was one step above the average 1830s sucker. He went from making people pay him to look at a rock in a top hat and ‘locate buried treasure’ to receiving lost bits of scripture, through the rock and top hat method. His wife caught him cheating and he said an angel visited him and told him men should be allowed multiple wives and not obeying that would send her to hell. I’m fairly convinced that dude was an atheist. He was on that hustler grindset. Brigham Young might have actually believed some of the shit he said but I don’t think Joseph Smith genuinely had faith in Mormonism or gave a fuck about humanity in the slightest.

[chaotic-timelord]

Spin this wheel first and then this wheel second to generate the title of a YA fantasy novel!

(If the second wheel lands on an option ending with a plus sign, spin it again)

Share what you got!