charl3

[charl3]

living in texas is so buns dude. theyre trying to ban weed AND vibrators. we got tornados and torrential downpours every other day and the other days are near 100 degree heat. annabelle is on the fucking lose apparently. i had to recite the texas pledge a week ago. the TEXAS pledge of allegiance. and the american one. greg abbott is still alive. ted cruz is still eating our sons. free us.

[charl3]

“what’s it like being disabled in the USA?” I once told someone my mom died of Covid and they replied “can we not talk about politics right now?”

[charl3]

most cartoonishly evil pro-life talking point i've ever seen was "oh so you think minors should be allowed to get an abortion without parental consent?" wait. wait so you think a parent should be allowed to veto a minor's abortion? you think parents should be allowed to force a 12 year old to give birth? against their will? you think it should be allowed and legal to do that? you think it's a problem that parents are not allowed to force a literal child to give birth?

[charl3]

game reviewers are weird

[charl3]

I think Jasper and Amber should both be gender-neutral names. Stop gendering rocks.

[charl3]

You have just been magically transported into a random ao3 fic!

Spin the wheel of ao3 tags three times to find out what your fic is about. Put in the tags what your fic tags are!

[charl3]

me: So then we take the liquified wood pulp, and dry it again, into these thin sheets. caveman: [confused, but trying to keep up] uh huh. me: And we take the graphite stick - it doesn't need to be wrapped in wood like this, but we like making them this way so you don't get graphite on your hands. And that's what we draw with. caveman: [eyes lighting up] Oohhh so you use the wood pulp sheets to paint on them, like hides? me: Exactly! And now, you could use this method to draw anything you can visualise with your mind's eye, but for the sake of this demonstration, let's draw a vision of a woman with features of an animal whose powers and traits she represents, and a figure that is stylised and exaggerated beyond what nature really allows. caveman: As wide as she is tall, with tits to match? me: Exactly. caveman: This is the only sensible use of this technology.

[charl3]

as a person who uses either public bathroom on a toss of a coin i gottta say its kind of ridicuous that people are so attached to them being seperate facilities. youre not usually gonna see anyones dick at the urinal and youre not usually gonna be able to spy on any women. the stalls are the same except one has a little tampon bin. we would lose nothing if all bathrooms were unisex and i'll die on that hill.

[charl3]

Imagine playing the devil's advocate about a subject that has nothing to do with you, thinking you're being really damn clever with it, and then a friend of yours sends you a link saying "you might want to see this" and it's the devil sharing screenshots of your posts and a photo of you in your stupid little outfit, going "oh hell no look at my fucking lawyer, I'm going to jail."

[charl3]

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

[charl3]

MAY YOUR DAY BE YAOIFUL ON THIS YAOI DAY EVERYONE 🥳🎉👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞

[charl3]

"what did students do before chatgpt?" well one time i forgot i had a history essay due at my 10am class the morning of so over the course of my 30 minute bus ride to school i awkwardly used by backpack as a desk, sped wrote the essay, and got an A on it.

six months later i re-read the essay prior to the final exam, went 'ohhhh yeah i remember this', got a question on that topic, and aced it.

point being that actually doing the work is how you learn the material and internalize it. ChatGPT can give you a short cut but it won't build you the the muscles.

[charl3]

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

[charl3]

[charl3]

Conversational skill check: Work acquaintance mentions in an offhand tone with no discernible expression that they have recently lost over 20 pounds. They fail to elaborate. A response is expected.

Me, rolling a 6: …On purpose?