charmywrites

[charmywrites]

Don't you think it is weird to write porn stories about real people? Or fantasizing about them being virgins or not etc

I can’t believe you came to a kpop smut page on this hell of a site expecting anything good lmao

On a more serious note, smut and fanfiction in general is catered towards girls in particular as a way for them to live through fantasy (if healthy). Men have porn for example, which is not the best thing but it’s there and it’s used and no one gives a damn about them having that opportunity. Girls don’t have the opportunity to explore their sexual needs since there’s zero to very little porn made for their tastes. Fanfiction (and smutty literature “for girls”) is there from women to women so that they can shamelessly fantasize whatever they want. If a man watches porn, everyone laughs and comments “as expected”. If a woman reads smut it is suddenly shameful and weird.

Now, the fact that the object of said fantasy is a real person, in this case, a kpop boy, is purely because he embodies the ideal those women have. Smut writers could not even write about anyone in particular and readers would imagine their own crush. The crush might not even be a kpop boy, it might be a classmate or Brad Pitt, all real people. The fact that those stories are buried on the internet and not sent to those people (no one would tell to any kpop boy that they want to suck their dick to their face, unless they’re a weirdo) is a sign that people reading smut are not psychopaths. The community created online is just like a big friend group who support each other in a positive way and it’s made mostly of women which I am really proud of. This is a big private conversation about our crushes. They don’t need to know about this. No one is harassing them. Hell, if nct ever gets to read something I wrote I would just light myself on fire.

I will never believe that yall don’t talk in private with your bff about how you’d hop on that boy’s big dong or something, or wondering how he’s in bed etc for the lols and for the tea.

This sounds to me more like shaming women for being sexual rather than worrying for the kpop boys well-being.

[charmywrites]

Hello! I was wondering if you could share my blog with your followers. I'm an astrology kpop blog btw. You can look at it first and then, if you like it, you can share it. And if you don't want to, it's okay. Sorry for bothering 💓

It’s no problem. Check out their blog, it seems pretty cool!

[charmywrites]

I've noticed how Tumblr seems to be dying and I don't understand why. People stoped reblogging and posting and this used to be my absolute favorite website for fun, information and general content... Is it dying because of lack of motivation caused by stealing assholes or because people aren't engaging (if this is the case, why)? This was the best place for fandoms for so long, but nothing ever happens here anymore. And I refuse to go to Twitter, because it is so fucking toxic. Help. Whyyy

Hey anon. I believe there are many factors that have contributed in people not posting as much as they used to on Tumblr. It’s either one of these factors, a mixture of two or three factors or in some cases for content creators all four factors have taken place.

Firstly, we had the censorship purge last year, where Tumblr started flagging nearly every other post as inappropriate even when half of those posts weren’t even nsfw. Many tumblr accounts don’t show up in searches anymore, even though they are still active. This is all because they post nsfw content. A lot of content creators that primarily wrote smut decided to leave Tumblr last year and many never came back.

Secondly, a lot of content creators started noticing their work being reposted on other websites. These creators were not given any credit. In fact the reposters claimed the work as their own. This happened to every kind of content creator on here. Fan made videos, fancams, photos, gifs, fanart and fanfics were all getting reposted on websites such as YouTube, Wattpad, DeviantArt, etc. Unfortunately it is happening all over again for gif makers, where their gifs are being reposted on Twitter. We’ve lost a lot and are still losing many content creators due to this issue.

Thirdly, when Tumblr originally turned from a photography and art website into a website for various fandoms, people interacted with posts a lot more. Before I became a KPOP account, I used to be a part of Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr. Who, Sherlock and Harry Potter fandoms. I remember that any post that was either a fanfic, gifset or fanart used to gain more reblogs than likes back then. People used to reblog every single post they enjoyed seeing on Tumblr. Content creators were used to having their posts be reblogged by followers, which automatically meant that more people saw their content. In the last 2-3 years, posts hardly get any reblogs. People tend to hit the like button and move on to the next post on their dashboard. The main reason why content creators were drawn to Tumblr in the first place, was the REBLOG button. Every time someone hits the reblog button on a post, that post gets shared to that person’s followers. In other words, new people are seeing this content. When a content creator’s followers only hit the like button, no one new sees that post. 

I’m a fanfic writer myself and I don’t even mind if people decide no to give me any feedback on my content. However, the least people can do is hit the reblog button. I have zero motivation to continue writing on Tumblr. The last chapter I posted for my fanfic Queen of Jeju ( back in April 2019) has 29 notes in total. 19 people liked that post and out of those 19 people only 3 decided to reblog it. The rest of the 7 reblogs were done by me. For a long time I kept telling myself that the reason I’m finding it so hard to post any new content is because I have writer’s block. I finally admitted to myself that the real reason I haven’t posted anything new on Tumblr since April is because hardly anyone reblogs my content. When someone likes my post, but decides not to reblog it, it makes me think that okay this person liked reading what I wrote. However, my writing wasn’t good enough to be shared with this person’s followers and that is why they never reblog my content. If my content is not good enough to be shared (reblogged), then why should I even post it in the first place.

Lastly, content creators started receiving asks and dms where people began to rudely demand for new content. Content that has always been free on this website. Gif makers started receiving asks where people demanded them to create gifs of their favourite idols at a faster pace, not realising or appreciating the fact that it takes at least 2 hours for someone to create a HD quality gif. Fanfic writers started receiving asks where people demanded updates for chaptered fics and also ‘requests’ for new fics when their account description clearly states that they are not taking requests at that time. If that wasn’t bad enough content creators started receiving asks and dms where people began to spew hate towards them because the content creator was either too slow at updating or because they didn’t create content about certain KPOP artists, ships or specific genres/themes.

If people want content creators to stay on Tumblr, then they need to treat them with kindness and respect. People also need to show content creators their appreciation, since we post content for free. We specifically take time out of our own busy lives to create content that is absolutely free to consume. In other words, content creators on Tumblr don’t get paid for their work, yet people still treat them like shit.

[charmywrites]

Bitter & Sweet (Pt. 3)

Summary: Loosely based on the song “Idols can’t go on for 10 years, right?” by Berryz Koubou. The reader is a foreigner who’s grown up in South Korea since early childhood, upon her mother marrying a Korean man. In her adolescent years, she’s scouted by someone working for a big company and encouraged to audition. Deciding to do it for fun, the reader takes a leap and goes through with the audition. She didn’t really plan to actually get in and go on a 10+ year journey.

Part 1. Part 2.

( 2015, 7 years after debut. )

“We’re going to pick about three or four trainees from the audition.”

The mood was grim as your manager announced those words, standing up while all of Ultra Smart sat at the table within the meeting room. All except Sunhee, who officially left just the day before. No concert or anything in celebration, Nothing but a departing post to Poindexters, the fandom, from the group’s blog.

Ever since the interview, it was announced that she would be leaving due to ‘personal reasons’, which many fans worriedly assumed was some sort of health problem. Nothing was clarified by the company. Eventually, it would come to light that she was getting married.

Nara and Doyeon were the most quiet about the news. Nara was always a quiet girl, who contemplated things in the same mild manner. Her brows were downturned and harsh, eyes unable to look at anything but the cold surface of the table. Doyeon had her head in one hand, fingers gripped in the long, black, strands of her hair. Everything in her position screamed unhappiness and disappointment.

That’s what all of the girls currently felt they were. Disappointments. Even if only a few of them would let it show.

Were they not enough to keep the group going? With Sunhee gone and Yoora leaving, couldn’t Ultra Smart continue as six? Now, they were growing to possibly ten members. Even at debut, the public would ask wasn’t eight too many? They got accused of copying their sunbaes, Girls Generation, for being too close to nine. Six should’ve been satisfactory, but the girls knew it wasn’t truly about numbers.

"The company still wants you as the flagship group, at least.” The manager, Wonbin, tried to console. Replacing the old manager, he had only been looking after Ultra Smart for the last four years. Still, everyone was familiar with him as he’d worked for the company for longer. He was more empathetic than the last manager, trying to make the members as happy as he fairly could from his position. “A lot of groups who lose so many members get left behind, but you still have a large following. So, the company is willing to give you another chance.”

“I’m sorry, everyone.” Yoora felt the need to apologize, playing a part in why the group was going through so many changes.

You shook your head, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t apologize, we understand. Really.” You didn’t want her to go, but the woman was tired -- emotionally and physically. Anyone would be tired of working such a rigorous career after seven years, eight including the trainee days. Seven years was the usual ‘curse’ for girl groups in Kpop, but you would rather only one or two members break off than the whole group. You loved Ultra Smart too much.

“It’s only expected.” Mali tried to console the leader as well, seemingly faring a bit better than everyone else. The smile on her face was weak, but meaningful as it was directed towards Yoora. “If you didn’t leave, I’m sure someone else probably would. We can’t stay together forever.”

You nodded, although everyone left was pretty adamant that they were going to be in the group for a while. At least, hopefully. “We’ll be alright.” You said for both yourself and Yoora, hand leaving her shoulder to clutch together in your lap. “Especially since you and I will attend the auditions, we’ll have a say in who comes into the group. That’s the brightside of all this.”

Yoora just smiled softly, leaning up straighter to place her own hand over yours. “And, you’ll be a great leader. I know it.” She said, no doubt sensing your apprehension.

Jiang Ai, who had been more neutral about the news, clapped her hands together. “Yeah, we have faith in you!” She announced, lifting the somber mood in the room. Everything about the young woman was a vitamin, even when her twin wasn’t catching onto their ‘twin vibes’. In fact, Jiang Yi was in the same boat as Nara and Doyeon; distraught over the group she knew and loved slowly breaking off.

“Yah!” Jiang Ai tried to whip her twin into shape, tapping on her arm. “Cheer up, will you? You heard oppa, we’re not breaking up. We’re getting another chance! This is good!”

In response, Jiang Yi moved from her leaning position in the chair to sitting up straighter. Her expression was still dejected, however. It was an unsaid understanding between all the foreign members that this audition was partly their fault. Like the manager said sometime ago, Ultra Smart couldn’t go on with only two Korean members. Jiang Yi felt a certain type of way about that, but kept her mouth shut on the matter. At least, in front of their manager. “Okay, I get it. Stop hitting me.” The young woman said, crossing her arms.

A tentative look crossed Wonbin’s face, eyes meeting your own uneasy ones. “Perhaps...We’re still trying to gauge the public’s reception of Y/N having leadership over the group. It’s ultimately the CEO’s decision, not mine.” The good vibes that Jiang Ai tried to lift up suddenly popped like a bubble, stone cold silence filling the air once again.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Yoora trying to get a feeling of your reaction. As if she thought you were going to take it badly; cry or throw a tantrum like you would’ve in the old days. But, no tears or harsh words came.

“We’ll see.” Was all you said in response, before continuing on.

“Let’s take this one day at a time.”

( 2007, 6 months before debut )

“I can’t do anything right!”

Tears flowed down your cheeks as you sobbed in the bathroom, Yoora’s small hand rubbing your back. It was just a few minutes after dance practice ended and you ran out of the room, upset that the moves didn’t come as easy to you as everyone else. The dance instructor was hardly understanding, giving backhanded comments here and there about how you weren’t trying hard enough.

“I was trying my best!” You brought a hand to your face, hating to see your own upset face in the mirror. How many times have you cried since beginning training? You couldn’t keep count anymore. Never before had anyone pointed out so many flaws about you before. First, you were too chubby. Second, you couldn’t sing as well as the other trainees. Third, you ate too much. Now, it was this. The instructor always had something to say about your dance skills, putting you in the back with the ‘easiest’ moves even. Your body was stiff, you couldn’t remember the smallest things, everything was picked at until you couldn’t take it anymore.

You almost wanted to quit.

Yoora turned to get a tissue before handing it over, her usually stoic face now sympathetic. “All you can do is keep practicing until you get it right, some people just aren’t natural dancers,” She started. “But, that doesn’t mean you can’t ever become a good dancer. It’s the same with singing.”

You wanted to take her words to heart, you really did. It was good advice. However, the small, green, monster within you was already jealous that everything came ‘naturally’ to her. Yoora was already a decent singer and dancer. She got her fair share of harsh criticism, but also a good portion of praise as well. You were lucky to go a day without anyone ridiculing you.

“Yeah...” You weakly agreed, not truly thinking the same.

“It’s not too late to back out, you know.” Yoora offered. “The company will let you leave before the group is officially announced. If you think this is too much...”

You swiftly cut her off. “No!” Mind immediately going to all of the other girls you’d been paired with, you wanted to stay with them. It wasn’t even that all of you were close yet, because you weren’t. But, you wanted to be. People could call you idealistic all they wanted, but the idea of being in a group -- part of team -- with other people appealed to you.

You wanted to go through this with them, no matter how hard you had to work.

Maybe you were young and dumb to equate a group of co-workers to possible friends, but that’s what you wanted to get out of your time in the company. That’s what was keeping you afloat all this time; talking with Yoora and the other girls and forming some sort of bond. Especially after you lost what little friends you had after moving schools. At least, you couldn’t see your friends as much anymore.

“I'm not going to leave, I just need more time to get better.” You promised, more to yourself than the other girl. Your cheeks were dry now, a hand holding the tissue to your sniffling nose. In your mind, you weren’t thinking about how good Yoora was at everything or how you were at everything. Now, you were just envisioning a close-knit group; a group that you could look forward to being a part of. A group that would make all of this emotional pain and these physical aches worth it.

“Y/N?” A head poked into the bathroom, revealing the curious face of Aina. “Are you okay? Or, uh...” Seeing your puffy face, she realized the answer to her own question and came inside. “The instructor was just trying to push you to be the best you can be, don’t take what they said to heart. It’s okay.” Just a month older than you, that didn’t stop Aina from being the mother hen she was born to be.

Not wanting anymore people to see you upset, you shook your head. “I’m alright now,” You tried to add some cheer to your voice, but the unfazed expression of both girls signaled that it wasn’t working. Or, they saw right through it. You just waved a hand and headed for the door, wanting to leave behind all the negative feelings. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat or be anywhere but this bathroom.” A smile crossed your face, somewhat genuine.

“We’re on a diet though.” Yoora reminded you.

“Who cares?” You laughed off.

The older girl rolled her eyes, following behind you with Aina. “See?? It’s this attitude that gets you in trouble!”

Aina shook her head, joining you in laughter as the three of you walked out together.

Hopefully, You thought to yourself. My tears are worth it in the end.

Note: Just a brief note here to let everyone know I changed Ultra Smart’s debut date from 2007 to 2008. This is gonna be the last change I make, sorry for the confusion lol

[charmywrites]

[ 2:41 PM ] The tension in the air was thick as you waited with arms crossed, eyeing your fellow group member suspiciously. As the leader, it was your duty to keep the other members in line; especially in a co-ed group. Ever since debut, the group was treading on egg shells to seem completely clean and innocent to the public. The group’s record was squeaky clean, without scandals or anything, and it was your hope to keep it that way. That said, you were one to enforce the ‘no dating’ rule strictly. At least don’t get caught. You would allow at least that, knowing full well you couldn’t fully control grown adults. If you get caught, there’s no saving you from whatever comes.

“I’m in love.” Taehyung admitted, eyes that were previously glued to the floor now gazing up at you. It wasn’t one of his jokes, nor was there anything in his tone that could be taken light-heartedly. He was serious.

You took a deep breath. Usually, when members came up to you with a reveal that they were dating, an ‘I’m sorry’ came before or after. Not with him. Under your hard stare, his expression was completely unapologetic. And, you couldn’t blame him. Should one really apologize for falling in love? Even when it put the whole group in jeopardy? No, you wouldn’t do that to him.

You urged him on. “Who is it?” You asked, a not so small fear that it would be someone within the group. At least someone on the outside had nothing to do with them, but if the public believed that members were dating each other it would be detrimental. Dating within the group is forbidden. That, you were solid on. However, another part of you felt dread at hearing whoever it was no matter what. You ignored that part.

At that question, something in him shifted. There was a small shame in his eyes, as if the man realized that he’d let you down. Still, that defiance was there. Taehyung’s tone was still as strong and sturdy as ever. “It’s you.” He watched as your eyes widened. “I’m in love with you.”

Mouth glued shut as your mind processed his words, you could only stare. As a leader, you had to make many decisions for the betterment of the whole group. Sometimes, you had to become the bad person and let others down. Sometimes, you even let yourself down. Pulling yourself together, arms still tightly crossed. A defense mechanism. “I thought you knew more than anyone?” You asked him a rhetorical question, ignoring the uneasy feeling in your chest.

Taehyung looked at you with furrowed brows.

You continued, tone just as unapologetic.

“Dating within the group is forbidden.”

[charmywrites]

[ 4:55 PM ] “You like idols, huh?” There’s a mischievous smile on Ten’s face and an amused twinkle in his eyes. The two of you were sat on the floor of his dance studio, resting after a while of practice. You weren’t the best of dancers and he promised to teach you, despite his busy schedule. Ten was a sort of jack of all trades. His main avenue of work was dance, being a professional dancer. However, sometimes he’d lend his vocals to artists as one of their backup singers. The man had even met idols and performed with them before, so this piece of information about you was funny to him.

He continued. “Some of those people are secret assholes, you know. They act nice and all in front of the camera, but they’re total divas off screen.” The man wasn’t trying to burst your bubble in saying that, it was more of a bit of warning.

You had to grin at the last part. “Who’s calling who a diva?” You teased him, making Ten roll his eyes dramatically.

“You know what I mean.” His lips formed the quickest pout before he straightened his back and took a good glance at you. The gear in his brain were turning as he thought of a sudden idea, gaining a burst of boldness. “What can those idols do that I can’t?” He smirked. “I got an offer to join a company once. If I were an idol, would you like me?”

Maybe you were thinking too hard on his question, because you’d have sworn he just basically asked if you would ever have a crush on him. “I – uh…” You stumbled on your words. “Ten, we’re friends. I already like you!” That stutter didn’t help you any.

Noticing your attempt to turn his words around, he only laughed teasingly. “Okay, Captain Obvious, but I mean in the way you like your favorite idols. Like, a crush.” Because I have a crush on you. He may or may not have thought – Okay, he definitely did.

Unable to sit through his probing anymore, you quickly stood up with warm cheeks. It was true that you might’ve thought about Ten as more than a friends a few times, but you’d be damned if you let him know that. You’d never hear the end of his ego inflating. “Weren’t you going to continue teaching me how to dance?” You changed the subject, arms crossed. “You said we’re going to cover a song from the group I like next, so let’s go!”

“Alright, have it your way.” He conceded.

Getting up as well, Ten made a show of placing a finger on his chin in thought. “Hm, I do know the moves to one of their songs, but it requires a partner.” His hands clapped together in exaggerated anticipation. “Which should be fine, you could use some hands on training.” The taunting glint in his eyes was back as you realized you just hurried along his little game.

Oh, this was going to be interesting.

( Part of the “You like idols?” series. )

[charmywrites]

Adding BTS and Seventeen to who I write for.

[charmywrites]

Bitter & Sweet (Pt. 2)

Summary: Loosely based on the song “Idols can’t go on for 10 years, right?” by Berryz Koubou. The reader is a foreigner who’s grown up in South Korea since early childhood, upon her mother marrying a Korean man. In her adolescent years, she’s scouted by someone working for a big company and encouraged to audition. Deciding to do it for fun, the reader takes a leap and goes through with the audition. She didn’t really plan to actually get in and go on a 10+ year journey.

Part 1.

( 2011, four years since debut. )

The magazine was thrown on the table, right in front of a young woman.

“How could you be so stupid?!” The group manager scolded, running a hand through his greying hair.

There was a page open for all to see, the other members of Ultra Smart standing solemnly behind him as they watched one of their own get punished. The picture was of the young woman, twenty-one year old Kim Nina, sleeping in some strange bed. The image was a head shot, obviously taken by whoever was sleeping next to her. Her shoulders were bare, but she wasn’t completely naked as one could see the straps of the nightie she had on. The topic of the article was ‘Sex scandal involving Ultra Smart’s leader?’ in bold, red, letters. As Ultra Smart was currently quite popular after a viral song, such a scandal brought a lot of shame onto the group and the higher ups became adamant that Nina be forced to leave.

Ultra Smart wasn’t just some group that happened to become popular. The reason why girls like you and Yoora debuted so quickly was because Ultra Smart was a group that the company planned for a long time. A lot of money and resources went into creating the group and promoting them. Not only that, the group’s music videos were well thought out and given a unique artistic flair that also went into their concerts. More than the basic staff was hired to be the backbone of Ultra Smart.

Basically, a lot of money was invested into all of the girls.

This was not taken lightly.

Keep reading

[charmywrites]

To anyone affected by the sudden news of Sulli’s passing: It’s okay to grieve and cry. Don’t let anyone else tell you something different. If you are in a similar situation regarding suicidal thoughts, reach out for help, no matter if it’s a family member, a friend, a help hotline, a therapist,… Nobody has to be alone in this.

[charmywrites]

Bitter & Sweet (Pt. 2)

Summary: Loosely based on the song “Idols can’t go on for 10 years, right?” by Berryz Koubou. The reader is a foreigner who’s grown up in South Korea since early childhood, upon her mother marrying a Korean man. In her adolescent years, she’s scouted by someone working for a big company and encouraged to audition. Deciding to do it for fun, the reader takes a leap and goes through with the audition. She didn’t really plan to actually get in and go on a 10+ year journey.

Part 1.

( 2011, four years since debut. )

The magazine was thrown on the table, right in front of a young woman.

“How could you be so stupid?!” The group manager scolded, running a hand through his greying hair.

There was a page open for all to see, the other members of Ultra Smart standing solemnly behind him as they watched one of their own get punished. The picture was of the young woman, twenty-one year old Kim Nina, sleeping in some strange bed. The image was a head shot, obviously taken by whoever was sleeping next to her. Her shoulders were bare, but she wasn’t completely naked as one could see the straps of the nightie she had on. The topic of the article was ‘Sex scandal involving Ultra Smart’s leader?’ in bold, red, letters. As Ultra Smart was currently quite popular after a viral song, such a scandal brought a lot of shame onto the group and the higher ups became adamant that Nina be forced to leave.

Ultra Smart wasn’t just some group that happened to become popular. The reason why girls like you and Yoora debuted so quickly was because Ultra Smart was a group that the company planned for a long time. A lot of money and resources went into creating the group and promoting them. Not only that, the group’s music videos were well thought out and given a unique artistic flair that also went into their concerts. More than the basic staff was hired to be the backbone of Ultra Smart.

Basically, a lot of money was invested into all of the girls.

This was not taken lightly.

Even in an ordinary girl group, this wouldn’t be able to fly. And, Nina was feeling the pressure as tears streamed down her reddened face. Her head hung low in shame, unable to meet anyone gaze -- or, rather, glare. Yoora stood next to you in silence, but you knew of the older girl’s agitation at the scandal. She warned Nina to not date, at least for a while, as it would fall badly on all of you and not just her. That night, when Nina didn’t come home, Yoora resigned herself to the inevitable. Still, even she didn’t think it would be this bad.

What sort of person leaks such an intimate picture? Well, you knew, but no one else did. In a moment of weakness when you were the only shoulder to cry on, Nina told you of the guy who she’d spent the night with, but begged you not to tell anyone. She loved him, apparently, even though you bluntly told her that he must not have felt the same way. You just couldn’t understand how she would let him off the hook like that, and it left a bitter taste in your mouth when it came to men ever since.

They couldn’t be trusted.

“I-I’m so sorry.” Nina’s voice broke as she cried.

Your manager stood aside, sharply gesturing towards the group. “Apologize to them, they’re the ones who have to suffer from your actions. Do you know what the public thinks of the group now?” He asked a rhetorical question, not a soul daring to answer. “If just one girl does this, then they must all do it. They’re all cheap and easy.”

The youngest member, Lee Doyeon, sniffled; affected by all the high emotions in the room. When you lifted a hand to pat her back in comfort, she scooted a little closer. The second youngest, Im Nara, stood stone faced and quiet. The judgement on her face was apparent, however. Still, nothing was said from any of you. Some of you did feel betrayed by her actions, especially Yoora, but others sympathized. Nina found someone who made her feel special, but that person broke her heart and ruined her career.

What a pitiful situation.

A few weeks later, Nina was kicked out of the group and Yoora was made the new leader. You had occasionally seen the man who had done Nina so wrong, usually at events like Mnet, but it was only recently you decided to confront him about what he did. The world might’ve been willing to let him go without recognition, but you couldn’t.

When he saw you coming, walking with such purpose, the idol couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, here comes the golden girl.”

Back when Ultra Smart were just a bunch of rookies, many fans called you all the ‘Golden Girls’ because it was obvious how much Beyond Entertainment favored you over their older groups and artists. It confused you, because you certainly didn’t feel favored. The company put as much pressure as they reasonably and legally could on a bunch of teenagers. Sure, you were provided meals and beds when other companies didn’t even do that, but the price was a hefty schedule of lessons, appearances, concerts, and filming.

Especially as a foreigner. In Ultra Smart, there was you. There was also Nina, a Korean American, who was gone now. After her, there was a Thai trainee that replaced Ueda Aina; the former Ultra Smart member who injured herself just a year into their debut. That girl’s name was Malivalaya Suttirat, nicknamed ‘Mali’. Without Nina, it was only the two of you, and the pressure of being treated differently pushed you together. The two of you always had a sort of silent understanding with each other, the knowing that you were both sometimes still held at an arm’s length while the others didn’t go through such treatment.

After Nina was kicked out, your manager pulled you and Mali aside to make sure you didn’t ‘follow in Nina’s footsteps’. At that confrontation, you and her exchanged looks but only agreed with the man. It was obvious that he assumed foreigners must think similarly, a tiny burn of shame lit deep within you at his prejudice.

It wasn’t just Nina at fault.

“Cut the crap, Lee,” You weren’t one for small talk, using your seniority to talk informally to the other. You could tell it pushed a few buttons, Lee Junho’s smirk faltered ever so slightly. Neither of you particularly liked each other, even when Nina introduced him to try and get the girls’ blessing. You had always sensed a sort of cocky attitude radiating from the man, never finding it in yourself to like him. “I know what you did to Nina. She told me everything, so don’t even lie.”

The carelessness in his eyes made your chest burn in anger, watching as the man played stupid. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Nina cheated on me, but I’m the one you come for?” He started to walk off, but you followed him closely away from the eyes and ears of other idols. From the corner of your eyes, you could see a glimpse of young Doyeon’s face watching after you.

You were seething. “She was over at your dorm. You know it, she knows it, and I’m sure at least some of your members know it.” But, they couldn’t say anything, because it would bring down their own group’s reputation. “Why? She loved you, why would you do this to her?” You weren’t an expert on love by any means, but you had an idea of what it should be like. Hell, you wouldn’t even do this to someone you just liked.

He couldn’t meet your eyes, staring at anything else in the near desolate hallway. Your own cold ones looked him down, wanting at least some justice for your old leader. It was already a given that the female idol in a scandal take most of the blame and the harshest punishment, but that just wasn’t fair. Your mind just kept going back to why, why, why.

Wait a minute.

His group had a single coming out, dropping on the same day as Ultra Smart’s new single. Junho couldn’t possibly have been that competitive to want to sabotage his own girlfriend’s single, could he? There had to be more to it than that.

“I was angry.”

You caught the fainest of mumbles, but when you opened your mouth inquire he sent you a pointed glare. “Excuse me, sunbae, but I really need to meet with my group members right now. My personal life is private.” At that, the idol stalked off, leaving you to stew over his words.

( 2015, eight years after debut. )

Sitting at a table in a private room of a Korean barbecue restaurant, you twirled the straw in your drink while waiting for someone else to show up. Yoora’s words from a few nights ago still weighed heavily on your mind.

She didn’t want to renew your contract. She wanted to graduate.

Yoora would've been the first member to leave since Nina all that time ago. But, Sunhee would beat her to it, and it seemed like they were in a race. Apparently they had both gone to visit the CEO around the same time and asked to leave. The only difference was, Sunhee didn’t want a farewell concert. She just wanted to leave quietly in two months, when the contact was over.

Half of the 1st generation was really leaving. All that would be left were you, Nara, and Doyeon.

Which was quite hard to believe. For you, at least. The only other generational Kpop group was After School, and even then it wasn’t the same. Ultra Smart had never planned on being generational, so you’d gone into the group thinking you would be with the same seven girls for all these years. The originals; Nina, Yoora, Sunhee, Aina, Nara, Doyeon, and you. When you debuted, Nara and Doyeon were so young that you couldn’t imagine leading a group with them as your second and third most senior. Now, however, they had grown into talented young women.

‘Ultra Smart needs new members.’ Your manager had relayed the CEO’s message to you. ‘There can’t be only two native Koreans in the group, the netizens are already suspecting that the eldest girls will leave soon. So, we’ll be holding an audition next month. I want you and Yoora to be present for it.’

These were more changes than you bargained for, a nervousness -- or, maybe it was hunger -- gurgling in your stomach as you worried about the group’s future. Would the netizens accept a new era of the group after so many changes in the lineup? Would the new girls take away from the group dynamic or add to it? You had always taken pride in how well the girls in Ultra Smart got along, there was no fakeness in your friendship.

Yoora...Sunhee, why do you have to go? You mulled, not hearing the door to your private room open.

“Um, hello???” Your friend, Seola, announced herself obnoxiously. Donned in her famous black hoodie and mom jeans, she gave you a smile and walked in the room. “Got your head in the clouds?”

She was followed in by her polar opposite, a petite girl in a frilly dress; your other good friend, Minah. “Hey, sweets.” The other greeted you with a wave, both of them taking a seat in front of you.

“Sorry guys,” You shook your head with a small smile. As the waiter set out two cups of water and laid out all of the menus, you decided to wait until he left the room to continue speaking. “I just have a lot on my mind right now with the group.

“Oh yeah!” Minah exclaimed, eyes wide. “I heard that Yoora had said she wanted to get married soon. Er, well, in five years maybe.”

Such words from an average person wasn’t surprising, but when an idol said it they kind of sent the idol’s fanbase in a panic. Yoora ended up being scolded for saying such loose words, even if she wasn’t dating anyone. Just the notion was dangerous to her career. At this point, however, you knew she didn’t truly care.

‘I’m tired,’ She told you that night. ‘My youth was dedicated to this life, but now I want some time for myself. I want to find out what I really want to do in life.

You can’t be an idol in your thirties, after all. Not as a woman.’

Setting your menu down, you frowned. “She wants to graduate from the group. Sunhee too.”

Minah gasped while Seola’s eyes widened. You trusted these two with your life, being friends from the same neighborhood. This wasn’t the first time you shared information with them and they kept it to themselves.

“Well,” Seola tried to look on the brightside. “You’ll be the next leader then? That’s pretty great, to be honest. The rest of the girls already look up to you, so it’ll be a walk in the park. Right?”

Oh, boy, there was so much to unload.

“The company isn’t sure if they want me to be the leader.” That was also something your manager had told you. “...Since I’m foreign. They’re thinking about it. If not, then Ultra Smart won’t have any leader.” You decided not to mention the upcoming members yet. Too much information in too little time.

“Oh.” Seola scratched the tip of her nose uneasily, looking down at the table.

Minah slammed down her menu. “That’s bullshit!” She sat down timidly upon realizing how loud she was, giving a sheepish smile. “I mean, you’ve given that company nine years of your life. Even if there’s no leader, there’s no denying that you’re next in seniority. They can’t even give you a title? You grew up here...”

A solemn silence followed. It was only broken when Seola huffed.

“All I know is, after all this time, being leader is the least you could get from them.” She said. “If they can’t give you that, maybe you should leave too. You’ve had solo singles before, go solo and leave them in the dust.” If one could take an angry sip of water, she had just done it.

Despite her encouraging words, they left a bitter taste in your mouth. You never wanted to leave Ultra Smart and go it alone, not when you could still reasonably stay within the group. You loved those girls, loved performing with them, and they needed you now more than ever.

Still, just to placate your enraged friends, you simply shrugged.

“Maybe.”

Note: To elaborate fully, in case anyone is confused about the Ultra Smart members. Ultra Smart began as a semi-diverse group with four Korean members and three foreign members. The original lineup was Nina, Yoora, Sunhee, Aina, Nara, Doyeon, and the reader. The foreigners were the reader, Aina (a Japanese girl), and Nina (who was still considered foreign, despite being Korean American).

Currently, the group consists of Yoora, Sunhee, Nara, Doyeon, Mali, Jiang Ai, Jiang Yi, and the reader. Taking back what I mentioned in the last chapter, I’ve changed the number of members from nine to eight. A ninth member simply escaped my thought process and I decided to go with that flow.

The company truly wanted to create a diverse group, but a string of bad luck seems to follow Ultra Smart in exchange for their popularity.

How popular is Ultra Smart? Not as big as SNSD, but they’re only in second place.

When Yoora and Sunhee leave, the only native Korean members will be Nara and Doyeon -- which the public won’t take so well. So, there will be auditions for new members of Ultra Smart. They’ll likely be original characters, but let me know if you want me to switch it up and put members of existing groups into Ultra Smart. Not making promises, but I’m open to the idea.

Also, I feel SO BAD for making Junho such a bad guy, but there needed to be one. I might elaborate on him and Nina more later, but this is a blurb-like series. Boy, I really showed my age by mentioning 2PM, huh? (lol)

[charmywrites]

Bitter & Sweet (Pt. 1)

Summary: Loosely based on the song “Idols can’t go on for 10 years, right?” by Berryz Koubou. The reader is a foreigner who’s grown up in South Korea since early childhood, upon her mother marrying a Korean man. In her adolescent years, she’s scouted by someone working for a big company and encouraged to audition. Deciding to do it for fun, the reader takes a leap and goes through with the audition. She didn’t really plan to actually get in and go on a 10+ year journey.

Note: I did want to make the gender ambiguous for this, but then I thought about what female idols go through and thought it would be important to showcase the differences in female and male idols’ journeys. So, the reader is female, but that and her idol persona are the only things set in stone about her.

Part 1. Part 2.

“I don’t really care if I’m picked or not.”

The teen in front of you stared wide-eyed as if you were crazy.

“What?!” She exclaimed. The girl’s name was Byun Yoora, just a year older than you from Busan. Honestly, you can’t remember how you started speaking with her for so long. Your initial meeting was kind of her scolding you for playing tag in the hallway. “Why, though? You do know that if you get picked then you’ll have to pay for training, right? Or, actually, your mom and dad will...Do they even know you’re doing this?” The girl went on, eyebrows furrowed.

Yoora just couldn’t understand. This wasn’t the first company she auditioned for, so obviously being an idol was something she wanted so dearly that she even dreamed of it. However, instead of feeling resentment or annoyance towards you, she was more confused. Why are you going into this so lightly? Did you even know what idols did? What trainees did?

Bright eyes stared back at her as you shrugged. “Uh,” You paused, Yoora’s piercing eyes making you actually think about your decision. “Well, I was invited to audition and it seemed fun -- so, here I am!”

Which was true. You briefly recalled being stopped on the street while out shopping with your mother. Some fashionable man gave her a business card and asked if you were interested in being part of the company he worked for; Beyond Entertainment. It was a well known company, so your mother didn’t immediately brush him off as sketchy. After a little research, it was indeed found that the company was having auditions for trainees.

Your step-father was supportive of it, always wanting you to feel acclimated in his home country in whatever way possible. Even though it’s been years since you and your mother moved to Korea with him, that was always an insecurity for the man; making sure the both of you were comfortable and happy. He wasn’t an expert on idols by any means, more so thinking they were something akin to any other music star. Your mother had enrolled you in singing and dance classes before for fun, so he didn’t really see the difference. It would be a fun after school activity, wouldn’t it?

“My dad says he’ll pay if I get in, but I haven’t even auditioned yet, so...” You trailed off, suddenly smiling off her judgement. “Unnie, are you always this serious?”

At that, Yoora’s eyes widen. “Huh? I...” She’d never thought herself in that way before. Should she not have stopped you from playing in the hallway? What if a staff member got mad and told you to leave the audition? The girl was always looking out for other people in this way, and you seemed totally clueless about what you were trying to get into. Yoora was the eldest of her five siblings and the child of constantly working parents, so maybe looking after others was ingrained in her mind. “I think you need to be serious about this.” She countered, arms crossing with a huff.

Your audition number was called out in the hall. You couldn’t lie, your heart skipped a beat in unforeseen anxiety. Nevertheless, you gave Yoora another bright smile and a thumbs up. “That’s me, I guess. Good luck!”

“Wha--” Yoora’s eyes followed as you hurried off. “I’m supposed to say that to you...”

Honestly, she didn’t expect to see you again; that silly girl who was playing tag at the audition of a big company. Even if she didn’t know if either of you were getting in.

Boy, was she wrong.

( 2015, eight years since debut. )

“I thought ‘Wow, she seems so cool but is so cold. How terrible’.”

The interviewer laughed at the story of how you and your group leader, Yoora, met. It’d been nearly a decade since the auditions and eight years since the group, Ultra Smart, debuted. In that time, you and her had become thick as thieves. She took it upon herself to take you under wing, and you were the constant breath of fresh air in a world of constant demand.

Yoora had been right, you didn’t know what you were truly getting into by becoming an idol trainee. Your company was nicer than most, especially since you all had been at a slightly younger age range than most debuting girl groups, but it was still far stricter than any sort of lessons your parents could’ve sent you to. Your life was completely uprooted from the day you became a trainee. They required you to transfer schools, gave you a cellphone with limited uses and told you to give your parents your old one. The only times you were at home was to sleep and eventually, upon reaching the appropriate age, they had you move into a dorm with your group members.

Not to mention the diets, diets, diets. You called yourself being sneaky sometimes and following the set diet for a time, before gaining some weight back because you liked being curvy. However, the inevitable scoldings and loss of screentime was never fun.

‘You dance all the time,’ An old manager would tell you. ‘It shouldn’t be hard to keep weight off, but you’re just a pig, aren’t you?’ Blunt and offensive words like that would be said often to you by staff members, not-so-subtly trying to get you to lose weight. Sad thing was, that manager wasn’t even being mean in his own eyes. He said it with slight humor. It was just ‘normal’ in such a world, to say things like that.

“She looked like she was just there to make friends.” Yoora told the interviewer, giving you a playful glance. “When we became trainees and our schedules got hectic, I was really worried about her, but she handled everything with a smile -- even if she cried to me when no one was looking.”

“Hey!” You elbowed her lightly from your seat while the other members laughed.

In total, there were eight members of Ultra Smart. Originally, there were seven. Two girls had left the group before, one due to a particularly bad dating scandal and the other due to an injury that she couldn’t recover quickly enough from. The company replaced just one girl, calling the new addition the ‘second generation’ of Ultra Smart; making the group six. It only became eight at the addition of Chinese, twin, trainees that the company couldn’t seem to pass up on, creating a third generation.

Having debuted around the same time as Girls Generation, 2007, the press always tried to compare the both of you and it only ceased after the other group’s activities slowed down somewhat. Now, newer groups like Blackpink, Twice, and others were popping up and Ultra Smart was considered a senior group among them. Many were quite surprised that the group was still going, but everyone in Ultra Smart was still under the age of thirty. Still, it was known that girl groups had something of a ‘seven year curse’ and to have the group going eight years strong was impressive. It didn’t come without bumps in the road, however.

“Where do you see yourselves in the next five years?” The interviewer asked. “I know the first generation debuted when they were only young teenagers, so you’ve been in this business and done a lot for a long time. What’s next? I’m sure all your friends are getting married.” They tried to joke with a smile.

Some of the girls looked at each other, while most looked at both you, Yoora, and the second eldest, Sunhee. The three of you were the eldest, part of the ‘unnie line’ and, while you still considered yourself fairly young, the rest of the media world did not.

“Five years older?” Sunhee laughed off, but you could tell it didn’t reach her eyes.

You shifted in your seat, eyes turning elsewhere as you didn’t want to think about what she was probably really thinking of. It wasn’t a secret that Sunhee didn’t want to be in the music world for much longer. The company recognized that some of you were getting older and, while dating wasn’t necessarily prohibited for your group, if word got out that any of you were dating then less work and lines would be given to the member. Sunhee was currently dating an ordinary man and had been for years, she’d even mentioned recently that they were talking about marriage. That was where she imagined herself in five years.

“I want to become a mentor within the company.” You admitted truthfully, wanting to lighten the mood. “No one can perform as well as I do, so why not pass on the knowledge?” A round of ‘psh’ sounded through the air and a few hands reached out to push your laughing figure.

You had developed a sort of uppity and cutesy persona over the years, turning it into a mature haughtiness as time went on. Your image was girly and feminine, and rumor had it that your family was rich. In reality, your family was quite average and in private you were quite the sweatpants and baggy shirts expert. That image made you popular on variety, however, and hosts liked to make fun of you and lure you out of that girly persona to reveal parts of your true self -- which would pop out in comedic ways.

“Perhaps, on my way to marriage.” Yoora answered.

Time stopped as your turned quick as lightening to look at your leader. The other girls were silent as well. This was the first time any of you were hearing about any want for love and marriage from the woman. You, especially, being the first to hear about anything from Yoora. Your heartbeat sped up. Was she dating someone and didn’t tell you? Was she thinking of leaving, just like Sunhee?

The interview concluded with flying colors, despite the mixed emotions secretly flowing through you. You were silent getting in the van to leave, even with the twins, Jia Ai and Jia Yi, constantly trying to get more than one word out of you. All you could think about was the fear of losing your two oldest generation mates and friends. If both of them leave, then you’ll become the leader.

More importantly, your best friend was thinking of leaving the group.

It weighed so heavily on your mind that you even straight up asked Yoora later that night in the dorm. You couldn’t stew on the ‘what if’, not when it was also nearly time to renew your contracts with the company.

“Yoora,” The two of you were watching some horror movie that you could hardly pay attention to. “What you said earlier in the interview...Are you seeing anyone?” Rather than ask her if she wanted to get married someday, the more pressing issue was if someone else was in the picture to prompt that.

A slightly surprised expression on her face, Yoora shook her head. “No,” And, yet, something else seemed to cloud her eyes; a certain guilt was there and it made you worry even more. “I’m not seeing anyone, but...”

“Yes?” You pressed on, hands clutched together in your lap.

The elder sighed.

“I'm not going to renew my contract.”

Your heart jumped, and not in the good way.

( Next. )

Note: This turned out longer than I thought it would be, so I can’t promise the other chapters will be this long. I hope you guys enjoyed this, though! I have no idea what to tag this with, since no idols groups have made an appearance yet. There are definitely going to be other girl groups showing up, as well as some boy groups. I think I plan on mixing up some idols and putting them in Beyond Entertainment. A sort of semi-AU, if you will. So, some groups won’t exist in this world and, if they do, some members will be different while the missing existing ones will be idols from Beyond Entertainment. Anyway, I have some muse left so I’ll be working on the next chapter soon!

[charmywrites]

About to create a multi-chapter series about idol life, but the chapters will probably be short because my attention span is also short (lol)

But, hopefully you guys enjoy it

[charmywrites]

I feel like elaborating more on the topic of making y/n (aka the reader) light-skinned in a lot of these text/social media AUs.

This isn’t targeting anyone (because it’s so widespread and normalized by now anyway), nor am I talking down to those who do it. But, I want you guys to realize what it does to a person’s self-image to be happily reading one of those AUs, caught up in the plot, only to suddenly see the reader -- which is supposed to be themselves -- as a thin, light-skinned, conventionally attractive woman. A ulzzang, aka “best face”, basically. I understand this might’ve sparked from aesthetic reasons or authors were even trying to be ‘realistic’ to South Korea by having a Korean ‘reader insert’. But, here’s the problem with both of those things.

Aesthetic shouldn’t change the reader themselves, who is supposed to be essentially faceless. Even body-less. By doing it for ‘aesthetic’ reasons, you’re telling the reader that they’re not attractive enough to be ‘aesthetically pleasing’. Aesthetic can be achieved in other ways. A lovely reader of mine mentioned in their response to my post that the reader in social media AUs can post pictures of anything other than selfies, like actual aesthetically pleasing pictures. Not some random ulzzang's picture.

If the purpose was to be realistic to South Korea, not all Koreans are light-skinned, thin, and conventionally attractive. Just like anyone else.

Oh, you don’t show their face? Still, not everyone is thin.

Not everyone reading is a woman.

My point is, having these ulzzangs as the reader sometimes hurts the actual reader’s self image. Of course we all think idols would go for these girls, the ulzzangs, but would they go for someone like the reader??? Reader inserts are supposed to give that feeling that ‘yes, they would go for you -- no matter what you look like’ and a lot of these social media AUs break that fantasy.

There have just been too many of these for me to be quiet on the subject. If you do this, feel free to tell me your reasons why, but I could never jump on this train.

TL;DR: You’re writing a reader insert, for a diverse range of readers. Keep that in mind when you’re making some conventionally attractive ulzzang the reader. Otherwise, just create an OC.

[charmywrites]

[ 4:55 PM ] “You like idols, huh?” There’s a mischievous smile on Ten’s face and an amused twinkle in his eyes. The two of you were sat on the floor of his dance studio, resting after a while of practice. You weren’t the best of dancers and he promised to teach you, despite his busy schedule. Ten was a sort of jack of all trades. His main avenue of work was dance, being a professional dancer. However, sometimes he’d lend his vocals to artists as one of their backup singers. The man had even met idols and performed with them before, so this piece of information about you was funny to him.

He continued. “Some of those people are secret assholes, you know. They act nice and all in front of the camera, but they’re total divas off screen.” The man wasn’t trying to burst your bubble in saying that, it was more of a bit of warning.

You had to grin at the last part. “Who’s calling who a diva?” You teased him, making Ten roll his eyes dramatically.

“You know what I mean.” His lips formed the quickest pout before he straightened his back and took a good glance at you. The gear in his brain were turning as he thought of a sudden idea, gaining a burst of boldness. “What can those idols do that I can’t?” He smirked. “I got an offer to join a company once. If I were an idol, would you like me?”

Maybe you were thinking too hard on his question, because you’d have sworn he just basically asked if you would ever have a crush on him. “I -- uh...” You stumbled on your words. “Ten, we’re friends. I already like you!” That stutter didn’t help you any.

Noticing your attempt to turn his words around, he only laughed teasingly. “Okay, Captain Obvious, but I mean in the way you like your favorite idols. Like, a crush.” Because I have a crush on you. He may or may not have thought -- Okay, he definitely did.

Unable to sit through his probing anymore, you quickly stood up with warm cheeks. It was true that you might’ve thought about Ten as more than a friends a few times, but you’d be damned if you let him know that. You’d never hear the end of his ego inflating. “Weren’t you going to continue teaching me how to dance?” You changed the subject, arms crossed. “You said we’re going to cover a song from the group I like next, so let’s go!”

“Alright, have it your way.” He conceded.

Getting up as well, Ten made a show of placing a finger on his chin in thought. “Hm, I do know the moves to one of their songs, but it requires a partner.” His hands clapped together in exaggerated anticipation. “Which should be fine, you could use some hands on training.” The taunting glint in his eyes was back as you realized you just hurried along his little game.

Oh, this was going to be interesting.

( Part of the “You like idols?” series. )

[charmywrites]

[ 10:15 AM ] It’s going to be a bad day, you can feel it. Just 15 minutes into your shift and already the pressure of retail seems to be weighing down on you. Trying to maintain a positive attitude, you try to crack a smile for customers to see but it doesn’t quite make it beyond a half-hearted quirk that looks more like a grimace. A soft tap on your shoulder temporarily brings you out of the funk, turning to see the smiling face of your co-worker, Momo. “Thank God you’re here,” She says. “If I had to go this shift alone, I’d die of boredom.” Before you know it, your half-hearted grimace turns to a full on smile that brightens your eyes. You don’t know how she always manages to stay so positive, but whatever she’s got going transfers over to you.

It’s going to be a good day.

[charmywrites]

Soooooo who started this trend of using light skinned girls in reader inserts?

[charmywrites]

Reader: *comments on the story*

Me, a starving author: