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✨ My Links ✨

♡ Everything ~ soulhavenmama.carrd.co

♡ Instagram.com/soulhavenmama

♡ Twitter.com/soulhavenmama

♡ Facebook.com/soulhavenmama

♡ Shop ~ SoulHavenMama.com

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PLANTONE® Purple Cabbage

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I’m in a book! The cute artist club book, that is ;) it’s an e-book featuring 226 drawings centered around the theme “happiness”. There’s so much cute art inside it, and it’s really cool to partake in a project with other artists like this. The art scene has been taking a lot of L’s lately, so it’s comforting to know that we at least have the best and most loving community there is.

It’s such a wholesome project, and it’s free (!!) to download!

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Joachim Lehre

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Skylines

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Train Tracks

Train tracks, connecting city to city And if you’re lucky country to country 

Walking for miles beside the tracks. Do I get on? Can I jump on to this train that is moving so fast besides me?

Surely, the walking is slowing me down but, “it’s so pretty” I say 

Looking down not around. Regardless of the beauty and open doors on the train I continue to keep my head down.

It is empty but not cold Industrial, but with a soul

Sometimes I like to walk on the tracks... It doesn’t matter if they see me bc I can’t see me 

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reminder:

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I’m reinventing myself

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              Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point

                The heart has its reasons which reason knows not

—-

Blaise Pascal  1623-1662

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Graphic - Ken Wong

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This stranger on Twitter reached out to me about talking bc she saw my tweets about the brain tumor and I’m literally crying. It’s difficult to have ppl not care about something that is detrimental to me so when anyone shows the compassion I’m floored

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Is it unfortunate my look has come to this? Where is the glam I craved? The endless piles of mascara and guilt. A colour combo of contemporary remorse. Should I be troubled for myself? Should I shift from my dying personality? Am I truly my soul in all its darkness and sporadic tolerances of ethereal intent? Is this what I am seeing in myself? How can I hate myself so much? Discoloration is found in nature, I am nature. There is no hate in my heart for natural things and there in lies my personal paradox. How can I hate myself so much? My original self was not wanted so I adapted and it is too much to try to go back. I am stuck in this mind frame body is irrelevant.

I am irrelevant

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Is it too late to start an Only Fans?

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Should I get married?

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The shitty thing about cancer and depression is that low key there are times where you literally just want to be dead. Not even die, already dead.

Idk tho I never know

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For 2 years I've known I've had cancer.

I ignored it for the first year.

This year on treatment, I didn't want to be one of this people who stops their life BC of it however I'm finally having a reaction to this. It's difficult for me to let anything go emotionally. So I just try not to feel in general.

Is it the medicine or am I just becoming lazy or complicit. Where is my energy? What is happening? The confusion is derived from not really knowing what to do with this "disease." The medicine is doing more harm than good. It would mean the world to me if I could stop but at the reopening of risk the treatment is working so hard to close.

I've never understood exhaustion before cancer & now I just don't think my spirit will ever bounce back from this.