chasinglightpress

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“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” - Bertrand Russel

How do we stand up to fear? Do we look look at it as if we’re looking at death itself in the eye and charge through or do we let it weigh us down as if a mountain was upon us? Fear is this constant evil manipulator that feeds on our soul and our minds until we are a lifeless shell of living in the darkness.    Climbing to attain wisdom is no easy feat, for I am still climbing.  We’re all still climbing.  We climb with a backpack on our backs that feels like the weight of a freight train with the challenge of lightening the load.  It’s dangerous business to coexist with struggle, but once we reach wisdom and peace, the burden seems lighter to carry.  

I myself have carried depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember.  I’ve suffocated in it, triumphed over it and suffocated again.  It’s a winding road that millions of us try to overcome.  It’s a road that I once thought I would never see the end of.  I believe it all boils down to fear, a mind-game implanted in us telling us that we are not worthy, we are not good enough and that nothing will get better.  I feared the unknown, I feared the present and all it surrounded.  

 I always thought once I was never good enough for the world.  It was the key that was gonna end my life.  I couldn’t find love, I couldn’t keep a good friendship going or a relationship, I was never gonna attain that “sexy” body or become pragmatically worthy for a girl or for anyone.  I cast out my family and was just plain mean to everyone for sitting in my own pool of self doubt. 

  I got to the point once where I had enough and just didn’t want to carry any burden anymore and didn’t want to hate myself any longer.  I made an effort to end my life and luckily did not succeed.  It woke me up, it shook me to the core so much that I knew i had to make a change.  The point is, change is possible once you ultimately see it.

I realized until you accept that you are the master of your own fate, you will never cross that hurdle and attain the wisdom you seek. It’s not always easy to get there and it’s never a bad thing to ask for help.  To overcome fear is to seek the good in life and within us.  The key is to believe you are good enough for anything and everything.

 I am a 24 year old man on the autistic spectrum who suffers with depression, anxiety, social disorder and I have reached the point where I truly believe I can conquer the world.  I am able to see the beauty in myself and I project it amongst other people.  I talk to girls Im more alive with my friends and I feel a part of my family.  I went from hating my appearance to ultimately not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks or about what I think of myself because I know the best me is good enough.  Every aspect of you is good enough. More importantly, anyone can overcome fear.  We all coexist through the 365 days of each year trying to climb our own mountain, the only question is how will you reach the top? Engulf yourself in positivity every day and keep chasing the light 

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never enders // the color morale 

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Vanna // Flower (x)

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