chelsthetics-blog

[chelsthetics-blog]

“The hardest things to let go of are the things you never really had.”

I’ve lost my words the moment I let go of you. And yet, here I am. Writing about you. I realized, letting you go isn’t a one-time thing, it’s something I have to do every day, over and over again.

Just in case you’re wondering why I like you. You’re just so busy being you, you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are. I feel things with you I’ve never felt before. You are a mystery to me, yet so familiar. How I wish I could explain your eyes and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies.

But even though I feel all this, I can’t let you see. I always thought that holding on was worth the pain it takes. I was wrong. Holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to is the worst thing. You’re a person with a shady face not knowing what you really feel inside. We had galaxies between us and yet, you still needed space. You’re like a pretty butterfly, floating through every smell of every flowers while I’m nothing but a bunch of love letters in a box and a few pictures on the wall waiting for you to read and to be looked at. Loving you was not the problem, it was you loving me. I know deep down you truly did want me and probably always will. But I’ll always loved you more. You are my unfinished business that I will always be curious about. I will always want to do things with you but I know I can’t keep doing them. What we had was amazing and I will never forget that but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never be the only one. That’s why I am letting you go. I am letting you go not because I wanted to, but because it is the right thing to do.

~ c.m.s

[chelsthetics-blog]

And now I am letting you go again for the second time.

[chelsthetics-blog]

I was hers. She was never mine.

[chelsthetics-blog]

“It’s so easy to love someone when things are perfect and everything is wonderful. But to love someone when things are difficult, when they are not being perfect, when they are messing up, flaws are seen, mistakes are made, I think that’s what really allows you to see how much love really is there. Anyone can love someone who’s doing and saying all the right things, being everything you want and need, when they’ve got it all together, when they have it all figured out, but to love someone at their lowest, to love someone when they are lost, when you are willing to stand by them no matter how challenging or difficult things may be, I think that kind of love is a lot more beautiful and meaningful.”

[chelsthetics-blog]

[chelsthetics-blog]

Baby, I crave goddamn difficult.

[chelsthetics-blog]

His heart was for another.