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i think i …. might ….. log into …. my  ….. multi muse ….. om g

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someone about my favorite character: i don’t like them

rational me: that’s okay, not everyone loves the same character

me on the inside: (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง

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✝️

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Everybody’s favourite Wine Mom, Mary Chrisitiansen

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TERRIBLE CHRISTIAN PUNS: SENTENCE STARTERS

❝ What is a dentist’s favorite hymn? Crown Him with Many Crowns. ❞ ❝ Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord? The Dmin chord. ❞ ❝ What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage? The Great Commission. ❞ ❝ Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head. ❞ ❝ How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. ❞ ❝ Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot. ❞ ❝ What kind of man was Boaz before he married? Ruthless. ❞ ❝ Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out. ❞ ❝ Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple? It was a bird of pray. ❞ 

❝ Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. ❞ ❝ Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down. ❞ ❝ What car make did the Apostles drive? Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord. ❞ ❝ Who’s the patron saint of poverty? St. Nickeless. ❞ ❝ Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled? The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor. ❞ ❝ What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car? A convertible. ❞ ❝ What’s the best way to settle church disputes? With canons. ❞ ❝ How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel. ❞ ❝ At what time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve. ❞ ❝ Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.❞ ❝ What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza? Jesus can’t be topped. ❞ ❝ What man in the Bible had no parents? Joshua, son of None.  ❞ ❝ Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? He was in ‘de Nile. ❞ 

❝ Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah? He didn’t want to split hairs. ❞ ❝ Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side. ❞ ❝ If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man? Because he would be several thousand years old. ❞ ❝ Need an ark? I noah guy. ❞

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“Whoa, I never meant to brag But I got him where I want him now Whoa, it was never my intention to brag To steal it all away from you now But God, does it feel so good Cause I got him where I want him now And if you could, then you know you would Cause God, it just feels so It just feels so good”

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🐱🐾

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                     A CROSS UPON HER BEDROOM WALL  ————                                                                                    from grace, she will fall 

pvt hc based christie christiansen of dream daddy written by jason promo by @ ikncw  

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PLAYLISTS FOR THE DREAMIEST DADS

ROBERT: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE 

JOSEPH: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE

CRAIG: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE 

DAMIEN: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE

BRIAN: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE 

MAT: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE 

HUGO: SPOTIFY // YOUTUBE

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i invented tap dancing!

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someone: hi

me: are you sure