clay16kaczmarek

[clay16kaczmarek]

(( A collection of things, some more recent than others. The top left image was a work in progress for the goodbye post, that I struggled with for months and decided wasn’t salvageable. It was meant to be the team all packed up in the van, ready to go wherever their adventures take them next.

The top right was the moment the team picked their dog, which is sitting in Desmond’s lap in the first image. Desmond slapping Clay’s ass in the middle was supposed to be a response to an ask about butts, that I think I was crunched for time for.

The bottom two are from sometime in 2016, when I weakly attempted to illustrate parts of synchronus, a fanfiction I happen to like. You can see how I’ve improved since then, or at least gotten used to drawing these guys, which is pretty wild. ))

[clay16kaczmarek]

((Hi guys,

I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to post this, it never feels finished. I had intended to post an image with it and there’s always something that feels like it needs to be edited. But I think I’m done, and you’ve waited long enough.

I’ve had a few asks sitting in the inbox for a while, an announcement I wanted to make, and an explanation to give, so I decided to just answer them all together and say what I thought needed to be said.

So after thinking about it for a while, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to put this blog aside, indefinitely. It hurts my heart to close my ask, but I have more demanding things in my life to focus on; however, I will be leaving the blog up as an archive.

I’m sorry, I know some of you really enjoyed interacting, and I would just like to thank all of you who sent in asks and followed and just enjoyed the work in any way. I really appreciate it, and I had so much fun. This blog not only proved to be a good drawing and writing exercise, but sometimes it was therapeutic in ways because I thought a lot about Clay and Des whom I both project onto strongly aha.

That being said though, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t ever stressed out, or felt guilty about not answering as fast as I thought I should have. I think I should also share why it takes so long for me to reply and why I feel the need to move on. I’m very very busy, not only am I swamped with a ton of hobbies, and tired from my part-time physically demanding job, but I live in a home environment where I’m doing a lot of work taking care of my family. Some of us are disabled, so I clean and cook and run errands, and when I do have free time I use it to rest and collect my thoughts. We’re also in the middle of a situation, so we’re all just processing our emotions and trying to figure things out. I’m finding it difficult to balance all of this with my own anxiety and depressed moods, and keep up with this blog. Needless to say, I am thoroughly exhausted, so there are days where I just want to focus on nothing but myself. Don’t worry though, we’ll pull through, it’s just kind of tough right now.

And don’t get me wrong, there was also a lot of laziness, aha. But I didn’t always put off asks willingly.

I’m also young and trying to figure myself and my life out, so there’s other things I want to focus on when I can. And while this blog did help me express myself, I think it’s time for me to take a step back and have the extra time.

This doesn’t mean that I’m done with Clay! or Desmond, or any of the other assassins. I don’t post a lot of AC on my own blog, but you can always feel free to leave me a suggestion at my personal: ==> @mesetoiles . Please keep in mind though that I’m not turning my personal into another RP blog, and I can’t answer suggestions every day, but when I have time I’d be happy to interact with any of you. So ask me headcanons or give me prompts or whatever (just try to keep it sfw, I have irl friends following me : )   ).

But, yeah, I think that’s it, really... I keep trying to find new things to say so it doesn’t have to be over so fast aha...

Thankyou for sticking with me, and supporting me, and being so positive. Thankyou for all the nice messages, and discussions about headcannons, and for letting me ramble in the tags and even encouraging it. This blog was with me when I was going through a really hard stage in my life, which is weird to think about, but it’s made a significant impression.

I know it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of Clay content out there, one of the reasons I made this blog was because I needed more and I realized that if someone is gonna do it it’ll have to be me. If you want something to exist you need to be the one to go out and create it. It doesn’t have to be an entire blog, or 30 chapter fanfic, etc. It can be a few paragraphs, a single drawing, some ramblings of the thoughts and opinions you have. If anything can come from this, I hope instead of being disappointed that I’m leaving that you’ll be inspired, if that isn’t too presumptuous of me. So go be the one to bring Clay and any other interests of yours out of the woodwork.

And now, a final word from Clay and the team:    ))

Hello, Initiates.

It’s with regret, that I must inform you all, that: we’re going underground. Abstergo has been keeping a close watch on us, and this blog has become a liability. Even though it’s main material was mundane information about our lifestyles, and close relationships (information that didn’t seem to matter to them or that they already knew), they’ve been able to glean more information than we thought we were letting on.

Not just from what we’ve publicly shared, but they also seem to be catching onto the locations this information is coming from. As good as Rebecca and I are, we can’t continue to hide ourselves as thoroughly as we might have hoped.

I think we all knew that this was only a matter of time.

I have to admit though, that I did enjoy it here. So did my teammates, who are helping me write this farewell. Our interactions will be missed, and we hope you were able to see past our exteriors and know what kind of people we are, as much as Abstergo paints us as villains.

Don’t despair though, this may not be the last time we see each other. Maybe we’ll meet in the cramped subway, or the dark rooftops in a busy city. Maybe we’ll pass each other in front of a mission point, or talk in the deep recesses of a late night chat room.

Whatever it is, initiate, keep your eyes peeled. Pay attention to the world around you, see the markings on the walls and try to read between the lines. You are the change, the future, and we could always use more recruits to build this world into a better place.

You know where to find us, catch you at the next Helix Rift.

So long, Assassin.

- Clay, and Shaun, and Rebecca, and Desmond.

[clay16kaczmarek]

((Hi, there’s a reason there aren’t any drawings here [well...one. lmao] and they’re all bunched together. I’ll be talking about why in a post that’s coming shortly))

1.) Oh yeah, that exists now, doesn’t it? To be quite honest with you, I forgot about it. We’re pretty busy over here right now, but we’ll probably watch it eventually. Just for giggles. Rebecca has it torrented, actually, we just need to get around to doing it... what? You thought we would give Abstergo our money? ha. ((this isn’t me advocating torrenting @ the law don’t arrest me for my rp blog.))

2.) ((I’m sorry but I’m not going to role-play this ask, rp-ing about current events feels like it’s softening an important issue and making them seem less real. It would also feel like I’m not respecting the seriousness of the current situation. I hate these two as much as the next person, trust me. And I understand the need for coping mechanisms, this is a trying time, but this feels inappropriate, even if it was meant in light jest. Not to mention, even if what we’re saying isn’t real, I have to wonder if it would be some kind of felony to talk about assassins and figures like this, or at least have me heavily scrutinized. Maybe not, but I would rather not take my chances, sorry. If you’re curious as to how the team would react to these events going on right now, I would imagine that they wouldn’t be very pleased?))

3.) Shit...aha well, good thing our team isn’t on that. I can count the number of years I’ve been alive again on my hand, I’m not going to die because a kangaroo punched me. Thank you though, for the information, we can always use new intel, initiate.

4.) Which one. This happened a few times.

5.) Clay: It’s...not really my style, despite the space theme. But, thank you. I’ll wear this later. Des: Don’t worry, I’ll make him put it on if it kills him.

6.) 

Rebecca: You used my photoshop program but didn’t bother to use my drawing tablet? Show them what your drawings look like!

Clay: I think this looks great as it is.

-

Des: In all seriousness though he is a pretty decent artist. And a singer, he thinks I can’t hear him when he sings to himself in the shower. My boyfriend is  talented and great.

7.) All four of us were actually deciding on getting a dog a while ago, actually. We argued a while on the breed, but we’ve decided to adopt a rescue, and are going to go pick them out soon.

8.) The entirety of it pretty much sucked. Imagine purgatory. And none of your senses are as heightened as when you have a body. It’s like your halfway between being asleep and awake, and you know you’re not dreaming and there’s nothing to do but the same thing over again.

The blackroom was a perpetual limbo until Desmond showed up, adding some spice to my un-life, which had felt like an eternity until he broke the cycle. I don’t really like to think about it too much...

I guess if I had to find some silver lining, as mundane as it is, I have a better understanding about code than before, and I could manipulate the digital world around me to a slight degree, which I guess was kind of cool. I would have traded it in an instant for a body again, though.

[clay16kaczmarek]

((Yeah i know I’m sorry about that! Time got away from me, and I’ve been working on a big post explaining why and what’s going on with this blog and stuff. I’m sorry to keep everyone waiting))

when will @clay16kaczmarek return from war

[clay16kaczmarek]

Oh hey, thanks. Yeah this year kind of blew in a lot of ways, but some things were good too. Happy New Year, and best of luck to you.

HULLO MY FRIENDS, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!!

I think that a year ago, on this exact same day, I was whining how bad 2015 was and that I didn’t do as much as I wanted… well, 2016 decided that it will punch us all in the guts and leave us to die. Well SUCK ON IT, 2016! We came out of you, and ready to bury you and remember you so we won’t make the same mistakes. I am dressed in black and blue right now, grieving all the people and feelings and relationships and all good things we lost to 2016, and yet I am hoping for better in 2017 despite the grim prophecies. 

This new year? It’s not going to be easy, especially because of everything in the last one we’re leaving behind. But I personally am going to fight for better. I was so… placated and self-pitying this year, and now I am frustrated with myself. Like, yes, I did my part in it as ‘not the worst’ person, I helped people, I got myself a diagnosis and did not kill myself. But that was not enough. This is what I am personally changing in 2017. 

So hey, enough pity for 2016 and me writing sad and angry stuff about it. I am not merely wishing, I am bewitching this year’s post for all the people I know and for all people that are reading it right now, for all your wishes to come true at least partially, and for you to not be bent and broken by anything coming your way, and just to be filled with much more happiness, health and wealth and luck than 2016 gave you. MUCH. MORE.

And also happy 280 followers to me! Almost double since the last year, and I am really, really excited and honoured that you all are around!! :D If there is one thing that I am grateful in 2016, it is you all. (still no grand follow forever post, and that is another promise I am mad about not being able to complete)

MUTUALS

@aihitozura, @apostates-and-feathers, @arklaylabs, @assashkiin, @asstair, @azaaell, @beltsquid, @boldmeasures, @cosmoillusion, @cuteleesi, @deltastic, @desmondsass, @desmoonedkilometers, @dioh, @doomcheese,  @egogrunch, @el-goddamn-dorado, @essie-essex, @gebrielreyes,  @grahamscott, @hannah-nirae, @iures, @j0hnnygat, @lady-of-rohan, @limerrences, @linuana, @lissiellainelle, @missxdelaney, @mrasayf, @neonreverberations, @okunireika-art, @prinsekiro,  @sdartemporium, @sonntamz, @stickyricepie, @sublimepoint,  @takhesis, @theheartoftheempress, @valrider, @wiseowlassassin, @156169, @1karu5

NOTABLE FOLLOWERS

@anunchartedhaven, @aspacediva, @asquietlyasamouse, @awitcherofrivia, @battleaxeguy, @brutalforlife, @cerevus, @craig-boone, @dezmond-miles, @fallinfandomses, @filecity, @forsakentevinter, @galinka2401, @greekroman, @highspeedwaffle, @i-burned-rome,  @jigglyjellyjigglypuff, @heir-of-0range, @lesbealiens, @motherofmajesticflapflaps, @nathancuttingbrittles, @orilynn, @pantsuwarrior, @rhelmar, @sapirzz, @stabbywebs, @tekon42 and MANY, MANY MORE THAT I WISH I COULD MENTION BUT I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME

PEOPLE I FOLLOW AND LOVE

YES, YES I AM GONNA SCREAM THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING PEOPLE AND I WISH MORE PEOPLE FOLLOWED YOU AND EVEN IF I AM A MERE FOLLOWER TO YOU I JUST LOVE WHO YOU ARE AND THINGS YOU MAKE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE BEST ALRIGHT??

@aesfocus, @anjian, @ask-spiderpool, @askthedadscar,  @bitterbrokenbones, @brotherhoot, @cockyandvicious, @clay16kaczmarek, @davestrider-ebooks, @endrae, @fonbless, @hi-host, @intergalacticlittlespat,  @kisu-no-hi, @lunethwrites,  @madjesters1, @mesetoiles, @miyku, @monarch-solutions, @morteraphan, @niduss, @notllorstel, @omgcheckplease, @oldstupidtemplar,  @ormille, @phobs-heh, @pohutukaryl, @polyglotplatypus,  @risingmonster, @rockandriotcomic, @shaunhastings, @selanpike, @softsanchez,  @starfleetspectre, @the-69sin, @whalers-gonna-whale, @wolfrax, @underwaterdoots, @yahoberries, @xla-hainex

And again, thank you all for being in my tumblr and real life, and

HAVE A GREAT NEW YEARS CELEBRATION!!

[clay16kaczmarek]

Polish cardinal blessing a supercomputer cluster. 2013.

[clay16kaczmarek]

Center of the Universe

The so-called Center of the Universe in downtown Tulsa is marked by a small concrete circle in the middle of a larger circle of bricks. It’s not much to look at, but looking isn’t really the point.

The “Center of the Universe” is a little-known mysterious acoustic phenomenon. If you stand in the middle of the circle and make a noise, the sound is echoed back several times louder than it was made. Even more strange, no one standing outside of the circle can hear a thing. It’s your own private amplified echo chamber.

As the legend goes, a foghorn could be going off in the center of the circle and those on the outside wouldn’t hear it. This may be an exaggeration, but your voice does sound extremely distorted when heard from outside the circle. It’s an incredible effect. Still, though many people have studied the cause of the odd anomaly there’s no clear consensus. (Source)

I have more strange phenomenas about the world here!

[clay16kaczmarek]

                                 Please, please, please tell white lies                                               Please tell me lies                    Cause the truth has had me waiting along too many times                   You’re so much more interesting when you’re being untrue                                  Spin me a web of believe I can fall into 

“Lies” by I HEART SHARKS

there will come a day when i’ll stop painting clay with a halo. today is not that day. idk i’m just sad about my dead babies and wanted to share i guess. constructive criticism is always welcome! please don’t delete the caption.

@dadmondmiles notice me senpai~

[clay16kaczmarek]

Invent a drink based on Desmond and give it a snazzy name

Clay: I don’t really mix drinks.

Des: Good, I’m glad, you’re an insult to my craft.

[clay16kaczmarek]

((Hey guys, I have about 9 messages I need to draw replies for, so I’m closing the askbox for a bit so I can catch up.

Thanks for your patience, I know I’m pretty slow and I appreciate the willingness to wait. ))

[clay16kaczmarek]

Des pls Snapchat the rarest Pepe you ever did saw

Des: Remember when I drew on Shaun’s face with sharpie? Yeah he wasn’t happy.

I hid from him all day until this moment, up until then my snap story was pretty wild. It was hilarious though, worth it.

[clay16kaczmarek]

One of the most coolest looking vortex marbles I’ve ever seen. (Source)

[clay16kaczmarek]

Clay: smokes that dank ass space weed Desmond: mom hOLY FUUUUCK

Clay: And I certainly hope you won’t be getting the munchies during the next emergency-

Rebecca: Dude, If you say “munchies” or try to use any other lame-ass slang again I will physically combust. And I won’t be! It was a coincidence, I highly doubt it will happen again.

Clay: Really? I’d like to place bets on that.

Rebecca: Go ahead, my guy. I’ll take you on.

[clay16kaczmarek]

Catharsis

[clay16kaczmarek]

i love people who get excited about stars

[clay16kaczmarek]

For Halloween you and Desmond should do couples cosplay as Eugene and Delsin (admittedly you would be a taller muscular-er version of Eugene)

Clay: I mean, we probably wont get the time or opportunity to dress up, it’s not very practical right now. If we did though then that’s what I’d do. And of course, I wanted to be Spock anyway.

Desmond: God…you are such a loser. But I mean that in the best way.

[clay16kaczmarek]

Mirrors edge called, they want their Runners back.

Des: Clay wouldn’t let me draw on his face for this so I needed to find a volunteer.

Clay: I’m just going to glance over your use of the word “volunteer” and ask, was that sharpie?

Des: …aha whoops.