clearlyacollectortragedy

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

Omg you guys, I can believe I finally made it. I feel like puking and crying at the same time. 

It took me 2 weeks to finish this—I got sick in the middle of posting it on Ao3, can you freaking believe it?—(and it's not even finished finished) but I made it through it all. At the end I decided to post it on Ao3 because it was getting too fucking long, so yeah—15k for a first timer is something crazy. 

Anyways, as you may know, english is not my first language (and deep down I feel like I could've done so much better) so please bear with me. 

I really, trully hope you like it and can come to love it as much as I did. I think that's all I have to say, kisses and hughs and good wishes for y'all. 

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)

Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Eddie Diaz & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Eddie Diaz & Howie "Chimney" Han Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Bobby Nash, Athena Grant, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Emotional Cheating?, how's that not a tag, but not too much, Tommy Kinard Bashing, but just slightly, Eddie Diaz Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Minor Character Death, Mild Gore, really just a little, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Didn't Know They Were Dating, though I'm not really sure, they are just idiots in love really, Minor Violence, they are in love your honor, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Not Actually Unrequited Love, They don't get together here though, sorry - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Timeline is fuzzy, Not accurate S08, Just tiny bits part of S08 so far, I don't know what else to tag, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley, My First AO3 Post, so be gentle pls, No Beta read we die like half the people on this fic

  Summary:

The thing is…Eddie knew. He just knew something was wrong. He woke up that day like any other, but the feeling wouldn’t shake. It was going to be one of those days. The kind where he’d come home after a shift, collapsing on the sofa with his son curled up beside him. And if Buck could join, though it wasn't often lately—not since Tommy—he’d be on the other side, the TV playing whatever Christopher chose.

Sadly, that wasn’t going to happen today.

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

Hi guys, it’s me (again) with some thrilling news (not really).

So, one thing about me is that besides Buddie, I'm fucking obsessed with zombies. Like, it’s a really unhealthy obsession. The point is, and I’ve been dying to tell y’all, I’ve had enough of not having a Buddie Zombie Apocalypse AU.

Now, there are a few out there, but as you may know my fellow fanfic readers, there just aren’t enough fanfics about this.

So, this might be all over the place because I’m going to tell you how I (a person who has never written fanfiction before and has severe commitment issues) have decided to write one of my own. Let’s rewind a few months: if you’ve seen what I’ve reposted and all that, you might know that my very first repost on this app was a GIF prompt by a creator called “bilosan” (that was the username; if I knew how to tag, I would, but I’m a grandma with these things, sorry). It was literally everything I dreamed of and more, so obviously, I became obsessed with the idea.

I had hoped that someone would have made a fanfic about this already, given the various people who liked the post. Anyway, the point is... I FOUND NONE. Not a single new fanfic (aside from the ones already posted on Ao3) about this AU.

So, going back to the present, I’ve started writing one. And I’ve got to tell you, it’s definitely NOT EASY. Genuinely, my most sincere apologies and gratitude to all fanfic writers because, how do you do it?!! I already have over five thousand words and I’m not even halfway through the story, and I’ve been working on it for a WHOLE WEEK.

And mind you, I’ve got no friends who understand my obsession enough to be beta readers, so because I’m a genius, I recruited ChatGPT to help me beta-read everything. I’ve been erasing and rewriting entire paragraphs because I don’t feel like they’re good enough.

Also, my first language is NOT English, and genius me decided that writing the fic in English was the best option. Like, duh, right?

Anyway, I’m going to finish it because, in my opinion, it’s coming along decently, and I've become attached to it. It’s definitely not a work of art like The Ones from Ao3, but I guess it’s not dog poo either. So if anyone (REALLY ANYONE) wants to see how it’s going and give me REAL HUMAN opinions, really, you can write me or something, I'll be more than happy to get your help. (I love you, ChatGPT, but you’re still a bot programmed to tell me beautiful things so I can upgrade my plan with you.)

That’s all, folks. Thanks for reading again; you’re all really such angels for doing so. Don’t worry, once the fic is finished, I’m going to post it here if you're interested (not sure if I should post it on Ao3 too because, you know, I’m not that great), but anyhow, I hope when it’s finished and published, you like it, even if it’s just a tiny bit.

Have a great day, night, or whatever. Kisses and hugs and all that (still don’t know how to end these kinds of posts).

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

yes buck make eddie lose the love his life via car accident again

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

Hey, how’s everyone doing? So here I am again, like a year later since my last post, because I just need to vent before I lose my mind.

So, the thing is, I was watching 9-1-1 again for like the millionth time, and just so happens that my mom walked by and got curious about what I was watching, so naturally, like the very noisy mom that I have, she decided to sit down and join me. And of course, the episode I was watching just so happened to be the lawsuit one where Eddie and Buck are fighting (iykyk), I don’t remember the exact episode number, but you get the idea.

Anyway, my beautiful yet very old fashioned mother looks directly into my soul with this very serious expression and goes, 'Are you watching a gay show?' Now, my mom isn't homophobic but feels a bit uncomfortable about queernes and all of that, she's kinda having a hard time accepting people but she's not against it, although she's trying her best. So, you can imagine I was shitting my pants a little bit with that one when she came out with that. I was like, 'Uh, yes… but also no?' Then I asked why she thought that, and with a very 'Are you shitting me' look she says, and I quote, 'They’re married, like, they’re literally fighting over custody, right? Talking about lawyers and all that. I did this with your dad so you can't tell me they’re not... Homosexual or whatever you call it these days.'

So yeah... All I did was laugh like a maniac and managed to explain her the situation (sort of) and even showed her bits from other episodes to give her the full picture of Buck and Eddie’s dynamic. And I kid you not, just when I was showing her The kitchen scene™ my sister walked in and got somehow involved, a minute into the conversation she tells me 'Michelle what the fuck are you talking about, those two have to be fucking, look how the guy with the beer is looking at that other dude, is like that meme with the cat and the cookie.' Like I'm not the one who is obsessed with the show, anyways my mom later agreed and in disbelief told me that they've had to fucked at least once. At this point, I was on the floor, either crying from laughter or pure shock because here’s my 'I'm very uncomfortable about gays' mother telling me that the way those two looked at each other was with, and I qoute again: 'Very sex deprived eyes.'

So, to wrap this stupid and totally unnecessary post I’ve come to two conclusions:

1.- My mom may no longer be in the "I'm not homophobic I just don't really like when two boys or girls kiss each other" category because, after all that, she literally started rooting for those two to not only kiss but fuck each other. So... Thanks 9-1-1 I guess?

2.- And two, if MY mom is now convinced that those two Need to be together, or more like belong together in words of my sister, so can ABC. So if Buddie doesn't become canon these season I will personally go down to the ABC studios and force them to make it happen.

That’s all folks, thanks for letting me rant, because I was about to lose it. Have a lovely afternoon or night or whatever you're having. And if you’ve got someone who may be homophobic or is uncomfortable with queerness, maybe tell them about Buck and Eddie. It did worked for my mom after all.

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

They are so stupid

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

This is why I love this fandom, they explain everything and every little detail, you cannot convince me Eddie and Buck aren't endgame thank you very much.

Buck & Eddie: They’re NOT bros, brothers, friends or a bromance

Partnerships: Buckley & Diaz from 9-1-1 vs. Atwater & Ruzek from Chicago PD

Relationships: Buck & Eddie from 9-1-1 vs. Kim & Adam from Chicago PD

Some 9-1-1 viewers have posted comments on different platforms that explain how they only see Buck and Eddie as best friends, a bromance, brothers, platonic friends or as work partners.  However when their relationship is compared to other platonic male partnerships from other TV shows, it’s easy to see that Buck and Eddie’s relationship is much more than any of the terms those commenters have used to define them.  Let’s compare their relationship with a platonic partnership and also compare it to a romantic relationship from the same TV show.

Listed below are examples of Buck and Eddie’s interactions.  They’ve been compared against interactions between Kevin and Adam (partners/bros) and Kim and Adam (a romantic relationship) to illustrate the differences.

For viewers who are unfamiliar with Chicago PD, it’s a show that airs on NBC in the United States and it is included in the One Chicago franchise along with Chicago Fire and Chicago Med.

TV Show: Chicago P.D.

Partnership/Bros: Officer Adam Ruzek & Officer Kevin Atwater  

Romantic Relationship: Officer Kim Burgess & Officer Adam Ruzek

Adam, Kevin and Kim are all police officers who work in the Intelligence Division of the Chicago Police Department which is ran by Sergeant Hank Voight.

Partnership/Bros

Kevin and Adam are partners, they call each other bro and they will ride or die for each other. They’ve been involved in a lot of dangerous situations that included Kevin being captured by a drug dealer, Adam’s father causing trouble for him within the police department, Adam being shot by a suspect because Kevin crossed the blue line when he told the truth about a fellow officer and the list goes on and on.  Please note: Kevin was partnered with Kim while they were just uniform officers and before they moved to the Intelligence Division. Kevin and Kim are like brother and sister because when Kevin’s younger biological siblings lived in Chicago, Kim would babysit Kevin’s little sister.

Romantic Relationship

Kim and Adam had a romantic relationship with each other and Kim got pregnant.  She lost the baby but her and Adam remained close even though he experienced some difficulties at work.  One day they responded to a call about a little girl wandering down the street. Long story short, the girl’s family had been murdered and Kim ended up adopting her.  Kim asked Adam to be Makayla’s custodian in the adoption.

Partnerships:  Buckley & Diaz vs. Atwater & Ruzek

Significant others

Kevin & Adam

In season 9, Kevin slept with a person of interest but he didn’t know it at the time and didn’t find out until the team was preparing to question her.  Once he learned that information, he and Adam were supposed to go talk to Celeste together but Kevin told Adam that he “knew her” and Adam told him not to worry about it because he was going to question her and come back with the information.  Adam simply helped Kevin with his dilemma and he didn’t ask him a lot of questions about the time he spent with Celeste even though she was a person of interest in a case they were working.  This is how bros act when they are talking about their significant others.  They don’t act petty and jealous towards them like Buck and Eddie do.

Kevin, Adam & Kim

Adam and Kim have been romantically involved with each other for a while but Kevin has never acted jealous or petty towards Kim or Adam.  They all work together seamlessly.  Reminder, Kevin and Kim worked as partners first and they were never romantically involved with each other.

Buck & Eddie

Buck and Eddie act petty and jealous towards each other’s significant others all the time.  It’s never been a one-time thing with them and they wouldn’t act like that unless they meant more to each other than just a platonic friendship or them being bros, brothers or if it was just a bromance (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Petty Eddie vs. Jealous Buck” for more examples of Eddie and Buck being jealous and petty).

Captured/Hostage

Kevin & Adam

When Kevin was captured by a local drug dealer in 5x12 “Captured”, Adam kept his cool until they had to kill one of the suspects who knew where Kevin was being held.  Adam cried a little bit for Kevin because he was overwhelmed and they had all been working for more than 36 hours trying to find Kevin.  But Adam was comforted by Kim instead of anyone else on the team after he started crying.  Voight stepped in and told Adam they all had to stay focused and he got himself together really quick.

Buck & Eddie

Buck frantically worried about Eddie when Mitchell held Eddie hostage inside of the ambulance in 5x6 “Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1”.  He told Athena that if they didn’t find a way to talk Mitchell down, he was going to shoot Eddie.  That wasn’t the first time Buck acted frantically over the thought of losing Eddie.  Actually, Buck reacted frantically every time Eddie was in danger including The Well in 3x15 “Eddie Begins”; The Shooting in 4x13 “Suspicion”; The Hostage Situation and Eddie’s Breakdown in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”.  Buck cried and screamed for Eddie at The Well; he crawled underneath a ladder truck, pulled Eddie to safety and lifted him into the firetruck after Eddie got shot.  He panicked and ran towards the gunfire when he thought Eddie had been shot by Mitchell the escaped convict and he thought Eddie had done something to hurt himself when he broke down Eddie’s bedroom door after his breakdown. Buck’s reactions to Eddie being in danger are not the types of reactions a person would expect from someone who is just a bro or a brother.  His reactions equate to someone who’s in love and their heart is hurting.  He wasn’t ok until he knew Eddie was ok.

Fights/Arguments

Adam & Kevin

In 8x16 “The Other Side”, Kevin and Adam got into an actual fist fight about the process Voight wanted to use to find Kim because Adam believed it was taking them too long to locate her after she had been captured.  Their fight happened downstairs in the cage area where they hold suspects and Hailey and Jay had to break them up.

Buck & Eddie

In 3x5 “Rage”, Buck and Eddie got into an argument inside of the grocery store about how Eddie couldn’t talk to Buck because of the lawsuit Buck filed against the department and Bobby.  Eddie said things to Buck that had nothing to do with the lawsuit.  Eddie argued, “Do you know how much Christopher misses you? How could you you’re not around” and Buck replied, “I didn’t realize that. Maybe I could come visit Christopher. The lawsuit doesn’t prevent that”.  Then Eddie said, “No it prevents me from reaching out to you, I couldn’t even call you to bail me out of jail”.  Their argument was not the kind of argument platonic friends, bros or brothers would have in front of their co-workers.  Also no one from their team, including their captain tried to break them up.  They all just stood there and watched.

Making up after their fight/argument

Adam & Kevin

In 8x16 “The Other Side”, after Kevin and Adam’s fight at the station, they didn’t have a discussion and neither of them apologized.  They just got over it by putting it behind them and went right back to being bros like nothing ever happened.  By the time Kevin and Jay found Kim, Kevin simply called Adam after they made it to the hospital to tell him they found her and what the doctors were doing to try to save her.  Kevin and Adam stayed on the phone with each other the entire time they were at the hospital.  Kevin told Adam that he wasn’t going to hang up and Adam replied, “I appreciate you, bro”.  They didn’t even mention that they fought earlier that day and they didn’t hold onto any grudges against each other, they just let it go.

Buck & Eddie

In 3x6 “Monsters”, Eddie was still angry with Buck after the lawsuit kept them from being able to talk to each other.  When Buck returned to work, Eddie wouldn’t say more than a few words to him because he was still upset.  His responses to Buck were snappy and he kind of acted like a jilted lover when he turned his back on him.

Buck & Eddie

After Buck returned to work, he made Eddie talk to him in 3x6 “Monsters” after Eddie kept ignoring him.  When Buck said, “I just want you to talk to me, even if it’s just to say that you’re still mad” and Eddie replied, “I’m not mad, I’m…”; what adjective was the audience supposed to use to complete Eddie’s sentence? Was he hurt, frustrated, dismayed?  Seriously, him not being able to explain how he felt in that moment was very LOUD!  Also platonic bros don’t have long conversations just to apologize to each other.  It usually takes them less than ten seconds to apologize when one of them says, “You know what you did was messed up, right?” and the other one replies with, “Yeah, I know. Sorry man”.  Afterwards they move on just like Kevin and Adam did after they had a literal fist fight in the cage area of the station. Buck apologized and they made up but his first apology only repaired their work partnership.

Buck & Eddie

In 3x9 “Fallout”, Buck apologized for the second time and he specifically apologized to Eddie for abandoning him and Christopher.  He said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there Eddie, you and Chris needed me and I had my head so far up my own behind with that stupid lawsuit” and Eddie interrupted and said, “We’re way past that Buck”.  Buck continued with “I’m not! I should have been there.  Maybe I could have talked some sense into you”.  Buck’s second apology was for their personal relationship and it was filled with sexual tension.  By the time they were done talking, they looked at each other like they wanted to jump each other’s bones right there in Buck’s kitchen and they might have done it if Christopher hadn’t been still awake.  That’s not the type of apology bros or friends would give each other, it’s actually the type of apology two people in a romantic relationship would give each other when they are making up after an argument or a disagreement.

Relationships:  Buck & Eddie vs. Kim & Adam

The way they look at each other

Buck & Eddie

Kevin and Adam have never looked at each other the way Buck and Eddie look at each other (read blog post: “Buck and Eddie Look at each other with love, lust and passion” for more examples of how Buck and Eddie look at each other).  Buck and Eddie look at each other with longing and passion while Kevin and Adam look at each other like their just bros.  The heart eyes Eddie gives Buck earned him the nickname Eddie “Heart Eyes” Diaz.

Kim & Adam

Kim and Adam look at each other in some of the same ways that Buck and Eddie look at each other with longing, love and passion. But viewers should remember that Kim and Adam are in a on again off again romantic relationship with each other.

Guardianship vs. Custodianship

Kim & Adam

In 8x13 “Trouble Dolls”, Kim asked Adam to be Makayla’s custodian after she adopted her. Their conversation is almost identical to the one Buck and Eddie had about the legal guardianship.  Also when Adam asked Kim why she chose him, she initially replied, “Because we were supposed to have a baby together dummy” and then she explained how their relationship was a lot of things but if they worked together as a family to care for Makayla, they could protect her together.  She then told him he had the option to say no but he said yes and that he didn’t even have to think about it.

Buck & Eddie

In 4x14 “Survivors” Eddie told Buck when he was getting discharged from the hospital that he named him to be Christopher’s legal guardian in his will more than one year prior to him getting shot.  Buck was shocked and asked him, “Don’t you like need my consent?”  Eddie replied, “My attorney said you could refuse” but Buck said, “But you knew I wouldn’t” and Eddie replied, “Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t”.  Eddie told Buck the reason he named him to be Christopher’s legal guardian was because no one would ever fight for Christopher as hard as he would and that’s what he wanted for him.  Buck asked him why he waited a year to tell him and Eddie replied, “Because Evan, you came in here the other day and said it would have been better if it were you who had been shot.  You act like you’re expendable but you’re wrong”.  Their conversation is not typical for two platonic bros to have with each other but it is the type of conversation two people who are deeply in love with each other would have (see Kim and Adam’s exchange above to prove this fact). Read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: The Will & Legal Guardianship” or more information about Eddie’s will.

Hailey talks to Adam

In 8x16 “The Other Side”, after Kim had been held hostage, shot and left for dead, Hailey had to remind Adam that he was Makayla’s custodian so that he would stop being irrational and go take care of her.  He wanted to keep searching for Kim with the team but Hailey was the voice of reason who reminded Adam of his responsibility.

Buck goes to talk to Christopher & The 118 already knew

In 4x14 “Survivors”, no one had to tell Buck he needed to talk to Christopher after Eddie got shot because everyone already knew he was going to be the one to do it. He was already fulfilling the role of Christopher’s legal guardian way before he had any knowledge about Eddie’s will.  Also Eddie had a girlfriend who didn’t do anything but sit next to his bedside while he was unconscious.  The entire 118 team knew Buck would be the one to talk to Christopher and Buck even stayed at Eddie’s house to take care of him.

Building a family

Kim, Adam & Makayla-Family Time

In 8x13 “Trouble Dolls”, Kim told Adam they were a family when she asked Adam to be Makayla’s custodian and he took his responsibility seriously. Several months later, Adam offered to buy Kim a house so that her and Makayla wouldn’t have to keep living in an apartment.

The Buckley-Diaz Family

Buck and Eddie started building The Buckley-Diaz Family during season 2 and they have spent countless hours together doing family activities.  Eddie told Buck in 3x3 “The Searchers” after Buck and Christopher had been caught in the Tsunami, that there was no one in the world he trusted with Christopher more than him.  He trusts Buck with Christopher more than anyone and he’s proven that fact many times over in CANON.

Buck and Eddie’s relationship is NOT a bromance, they’re not brothers, bros or just friends. They share something way more intimate with each other than the definitions that go with the terms some viewers keep using to define them.  If the narrative continues, then the only option is for them to become ENDGAME (read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Buck and Eddie are each other’s ENDGAME” for more information about Buck and Eddie being each other’s endgame).  Will Buck and Eddie become a CANON couple during season 6?  Only the showrunners, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

Ok I need y'all to hear me out just for a sec please.

I was listening some music when the song "afraid" of the neighborhood came in, so everything very normal until I actually heard the lyrics and I immediately tought of buck during the lawsuit arc and dear god the lyrics fit him so well; but then again (and maybe because I'm currently running with 1 hour of sleep) I thought about how Eddie, after the shot and during his influencer era when he "wasn't part" of the 118 because he was at dispatch, and went to that bar and saw buck beign so happy without him, he was just so sad and afraid of beign replaced just like buck was; both were so afraid of losing their place at the 118, aka their found family, so yeah they deserve each other.

And that's basically it, and I thought most of this because I've never seen and edit or a post talking about how well the song fit for some scenarios in 911 so I just had to said something, or maybe how those situations are like parallels but idk I'm new to this so yeah thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

buddie + zombie apocalypse au

(9-1-1 // gif prompts)